WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR APRIL 2024
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Debbie - this was on my FB newsfeed. I thought you might get a chuckle out of it.
Trqcey10 -
Afternoon all
Everything went well nothing in the colon and he did a few biopsies on the endoscopy ,but nothing unusual.
Im home and relaxing
Alfie snoozing next to me.9 -
LisaInArkansas wrote: »Hello, my chickens... from the gray and gloomy River Valley of Arkansas, and the seriously clingy kitty who keeps making me retype my words when she headbutts my arm because I'm NOT PETTING HER ENOUGH. I can practically hear her yelling the thoughts... 🐈⬛😼Poor baby.
Re: Expressions of feeling (it got a little long, so I spoilered it):I'm not sure I ever have a feeling anymore that I don't express to SOMEbody. I don't necessarily believe that is a virtue, or even necessarily enjoyable for everyone else to deal with coming from me.
I grew up with an abuser and dealt with holding that unexpressed for decades, and then lived through silent neglect, emotional disapproval, secrets and avoidance for another 27 years. I decided once I left that marriage I was done hiding ANYthing, whether it's how I feel, what I'm thinking, or anything else. So I don't.
I'm not saying full disclosure is the right way, the best way, or the healthiest way to be. To me, if it makes people feel better not to express their emotions, they shouldn't be made to feel bad about doing so. But if I'm curious about Corey's emotions, I ask him. He will often answer me, but when he doesn't, I don't push. However, he rarely offers them up without being questioned.
He never has a problem knowing where I stand, however. About anything. You would have to ask him if he's happy with that - I'm figuring since he's stuck around for 15 years, he's pretty much OK with it...
Pip - Membership in the families we're born into seems to make some folks feel they have permission to be absolute goobers to us and each other. You're right, you can't make this stuff up, you just have to laugh and tell 'em to take a long walk off a short pier.
Love y'all,
Lisa in AR
Totally understand when you say "silent neglect and avoidance"-been dealing with it a bit over 27 yrs.
I have talked to him a few times(Very few-don't like confrontation so keep quiet) about it but it may change slightly for a week at most but always goes back to the old ways.
Agree on the family thing- I got a call from our former childhood neighbor who came out to dinner when I was at mom's.
He said he talked to my older sister(she had been bugging him to call her-trying to reconnect with old friends). In their conversation, she started talking about mom's place(where we grew up). She said she thinks the property is worth, get this, 10 MILLION $$$$ and she is expecting to her her full share of that amount. The property is worth a lot but closer to 1/10 of that, maybe a bit more.
Mom did tell Mike when he was out visiting another time that she knows that both sisters just would want to sell the place for the money but I want to keep it. Younger sister actually asked my dad for "her share of her inheritance" YEARS ago, over 10 yrs before dad passed away.
I will mention older sister's conversation with Mike as a way to start the much needed conversation of exactly what her plans are. I know there are going to be hard feelings on all sides.
Guys are going out to lunch-dh's friends are coming down from Sacramento and ds will be home from school by then so all four are going. I was invited but think I will enjoy the quiet time and work in the yard. Supposed to get up to 70 today- was 75 yesterday afternoon. Rain coming back on Thursday.
Didn't go walk MIL's dog this morning because dh was taking him to the vet so I stayed home- getting chores done with no interuptions is so nice.
On my third, or maybe forth cup of tea. Will make myself a nice lunch in a bit.
Debbie
Napa Valley,CA
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Tracey - I am so familiar with that kind of anger, and it keeps me awake at night. I sometimes get into a hyper-critical state over John, or someone else. It is corrosive to ones wellbeing. I find one small action can help, like scheduling a drink together outside the house where it's easier to talk. For your daughter, it's just hard. Especially when it affects the kids. I wonder what's underneath it all. No solutions, only commiserations. Your grandchildren are just wonderful. What's their take on it?
I didn't go up to the doctors today. I think my proactivity had hit the buffers. Tomorrow I will get myself there.
No results yet from my emails.
Had a Zoom today with my schoolfriends. Frustrating conversation, because we were talking about ADHD, and I know that G has it. I went all round the subject, but couldn't say so. I'm seeing her on Thursday, so, who knows. . . . I can't believe she hasn't realised it! She is textbook. She puts it down to her mental illness. I don't think diagnosing people left, right, and centre is helpful, but many have found profound relief.And a community.
Had delicious roasted root vegetables for dinner, with chilli, and green beans. Crême fraiche.
All good.
LoveHeatherUKxxxxxxxx.3 -
My Siri is a head butter to my head when she feels like it..2
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🤗🤗🤗 and 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 for those who need them.
🙋♀️ Miele failte to the newbies.
☘️ Terri3 -
I’ve talked to Rodger with only a bit of a raised voice. I think he heard me, I don’t know if it will make a difference but I feel better letting him know how I’m feeling.
As for how the Grands are handling my daughter…
I won’t ask them outright anything that would make them think their mother is doing anything wrong. However, they have made comments on their own.
A few weeks ago when Jonah said something about not going to school, Michaela told him that Mom is sick and they have to take care of her. She then told me, “jonah gets upset when we don’t go to school, but I just tell him Mom’s sick and we need to stay home”.
This past visit last week though, she was practicing math and writing because she feels she’s getting behind.
Jonah told me that their Dad takes them on his days off.
I am at a loss on this one. She obviously can’t drive when she’s dizzy, but this is affecting them.
She had been on meds for anxiety that they think is caused from undiagnosed ADHD, but when she started getting so sick they took her off the meds. They have ran various tests because she has lost probably 60-65lbs now, they told her it was anxiety but didn’t give her anything to try to calm it.
I have bought her a bunch of self-care stuff. For Christmas I gave her the Witches guide to self care, I bought her all the stones, oils and candles she would need for the mental health chapter. I don’t know if she has used it or not.
I am going to be seeing her this evening. Maybe I’ll try to have a conversation with her.
Ugh! Wouldn’t it be nice if life just went along without any struggles.
Tracey9 -
Well I am read up to the end of March. I had 4 days off. We went to Kansas to DH's side of the family for Easter. We had a nice time and got to meet to 2 new babies. Our DGD went with us.
My test's on Friday went well and I meet with the doctor next Monday to go over the results. My main concern right now is the shortness of breath and being tried all the time.
Back at work today and since the one is gone so much less drama.
Pip--I am sorry to hear about your mom and family. I have not cried since I can remember. Not for either of my parents, sister or son. Guess I just go numb.
Michele--Sorry for your loss. It is never easy to lose one of our fur babies.
Tracey--Great on your grades. Can't believe it is almost done and you will be doing what you love, working with children.
Allie--Tough news for Tracy and family.
Rita--I pray you are doing better. panic attacks are no fun.
April--Sorry to hear about the setback for your son and dad. Prays and hugs
Rori--HUGS. we never know when grief will hit
Well ladies tomorrow I will try and get this month read. Each of you are very important and to me.
Blessings, Vicki GRAND ISLAND, NE7 -
LisaInArkansas wrote: »Hello, my chickens... from the gray and gloomy River Valley of Arkansas, and the seriously clingy kitty who keeps making me retype my words when she headbutts my arm because I'm NOT PETTING HER ENOUGH. I can practically hear her yelling the thoughts... 🐈⬛😼Poor baby.
She doesn't like it when it's chilly and rainy, as her favorite all-time spot outside is the concrete pavers, which soak up the sun and provide the best backscratching ever.
Anyway... I stopped in earlier and read last night's posts, but I knew I wouldn't get my yoga done if I started talking to y'all, so I got the dishes going and got yoga+ done before I sat down to the laptop again. I added toe point lifts to get the back of my thighs well stretched, and a few reps to some of them. I'll be moving up to the higher-resistance bands by next week for the band work. I'm at the 30-minute mark now.
Re: Expressions of feeling (it got a little long, so I spoilered it):I'm not sure I ever have a feeling anymore that I don't express to SOMEbody. I don't necessarily believe that is a virtue, or even necessarily enjoyable for everyone else to deal with coming from me.
I grew up with an abuser and dealt with holding that unexpressed for decades, and then lived through silent neglect, emotional disapproval, secrets and avoidance for another 27 years. I decided once I left that marriage I was done hiding ANYthing, whether it's how I feel, what I'm thinking, or anything else. So I don't.
I'm not saying full disclosure is the right way, the best way, or the healthiest way to be. To me, if it makes people feel better not to express their emotions, they shouldn't be made to feel bad about doing so. But if I'm curious about Corey's emotions, I ask him. He will often answer me, but when he doesn't, I don't push. However, he rarely offers them up without being questioned.
He never has a problem knowing where I stand, however. About anything. You would have to ask him if he's happy with that - I'm figuring since he's stuck around for 15 years, he's pretty much OK with it...
Regarding people touching me: You've probably noticed I don't like it. It's fast approaching the phobia level with all the medical stuff, but luckily doctors try not to touch people anymore if they can help it. My hair's naturally curly, one of the reasons I keep it quite short now, and people used to touch it all the time, particularly when I was young. They don't do that anymore. "Ew" is a huge underestimate of how I feel when a stranger touches me.
Rita - The medications have been, barring one or two symptoms, much worse than the issues they're supposed to be resolving. I landed in the ER twice, strictly because of a medication that I shouldn't have been given. You have my complete sympathy, and I'm so pleased you found out what was causing those horrible panic attacks.
Pip - Membership in the families we're born into seems to make some folks feel they have permission to be absolute goobers to us and each other. You're right, you can't make this stuff up, you just have to laugh and tell 'em to take a long walk off a short pier.
Read everyone's, as always, but kept only a few at top of mind. Just got my confirmation call, nothing after midnight tonight, have to be at the hospital at 6 a.m., so I'll have to take my morning meds and coffee with me to have after. Should be a doddle, right? Right.
And... I've rattled enough. Welcome to anyone who's new - jump into any conversation that interests you.
Love y'all,
Lisa in AR
I like that, never heard of it, “ tell 'em to take a long walk off a short pier” lmao4 -
Stats for the day-
Walk w/family- 2hrs 8min 28sec, 40elev, 3.02ap, 83ahr, 113mhr, 6.52mi= 684c
Strava app = 799c
Zwift home spin bike- strava stats- 18.54min, 148elev, 143aw, 53arpm, 20.9amph, gear40, 114ahr, 141mhr, 6.59mi= 137c
Strava app= 155c
Zwift stats- 18.55min, 148elev, 143aw, 52arpm, 20.93amph, 6.60mi= 155c
Total cal 8214 -
I’ve had a few for different times in my life.
Is There Life Out There
Ballad of Lucy Jordan
One Day at a Time
Why me Lord
Tracey in Edmonton8 -
Tracey - When I started my first company, we did a number of all-nighters finishing up technical writing contracts. One of them, I was so tired I ended up crying behind the wheel of my car because I couldn't remember my way home. I played "Walking on Broken Glass," by the Eurythmics at high volume until I was awake enough to remember, and then all the way home with the windows open at 30 degrees so I could stay awake. Every time I was struggling in college, I'd put that on at high volume. When I met and fell in love with Corey, it was "Bleeding Love," by Leona Lewis, and every time he walked in the house, it was "Fried Chicken" by the Zac Brown Band.
I had to look up The Ballad of Lucy Jordan, but I knew the rest...
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I’ll have to look those songs up, except Chicken Fried. I know that one.
I listened to them, you’ve introduced me to new artists
Tracey2 -
Someone I know has a "911 Playlist" on her phone. It's a group of songs that will bring her out of a funk and they are always available to her.9
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didn't walk(dh took his mom's dog to the vet for a check up so I got to stay home) but did track and stay under on my calories. Chose left over baked salmon, steamed asparagus and a pear for dinner instead of one of the big baked Chinese pork buns dh's friend brought down. That would have put me way over on calories I think. I will enjoy one tomorrow(walking, yard work at MIL's and zumba all tomorrow).
Weather was great again, just a bit cooler than yesterday. Got my green house pretty much organized while all the guys(dh's friends, dh and son) all went to lunch. Was so nice to have a quiet day to myself. They were supposed to go to the movies too this evening but they were all too tired and dh has to be at work at midnight tonight. He is back in his room so still have a quiet evening. Son just left to go to his girlfriends house.
Having my tea(have been drinking tea all day, switched to decaf at 2), will watch some tv and go to bed a bit early. Insomnia last night- got to sleep sometime after 3AM and up a bit after 8.
Debbie5 -
1
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Hi Gals,
Tracey in Edmonton – try googling uber for kids, and there are in the states a number of services designed for kid transportation – with extra safety and screening…. Might be to expensive but worth checking out.
Debbie – It was a lot of work but finally got my mom to put in writing everything about who gets what in what quantity and how…. Even down to a list of some of the more valuable of the items in the house… If you can help her do anything like that it will make it easier. I was able to couch it in the this will be the final gift you can give to each of us, both the gift of clarity and maybe that then we will be able to stay connected after you are gone. ---- In our case there is small hope that all of us will stay connected but I knew it was what she wanted and certainly less fighting will not hurt.
Lisa and Tracey – I did listen to at least part of each of the songs, and had never heard any of them.
Thinking of you all,
Kim in N. California
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0
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Kim - I’ll check that out. Thank you for the suggestion.
Tracey2 -
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