WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR JUNE 2024
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LisaInArkansas wrote: »Rebecca darlin' - I do say quite often that it's not usually people who hurt us, it's that they violate our expectations of them, which you've basically said is the case with your sister. Our only real option is to change our expectations, as we're not going to change them. Also comes around to something I was discussing with my sister the other day - siblings don't necessarily grow up the same... she and I are so different that those places where we're the same (our voices are nearly identical) are weirdly shocking. And we honestly don't feel like we grew up in the same house as our brothers sometimes, as their experiences of our upbringing were absolutely different than my sister's and mine.
Rita - It took me a long time to learn that we can love people without the requirement of feeling their pain. I love this group, but don't take on that empathic burden for each and every one. It's a far different kind of love than my feelings for my husband, my kids, my best friend, my sister. Not less, just different. I'm OK with that.
Got one call from my best friend and two from my husband... one thing about waking up after he leaves at 5:15 a.m. is that I get a "good morning" call from him around 8 or 9 a.m. Feels like a verbal hug.
Four things down on my list, more to go...
Later, y'all,
Love,
Lisa in AR
Yes, to a lot of what you speak of! The moment I stopped trying to expect from her (my expectations that is) is the moment I let go of a lot of that stress. There are different people we get different things from. My eldest sister is my go to for the messy venting, and the nitty gritty of processing emotions. Sometimes we video chat and just cry at each other. With my sister I kept wishing that but we don't go there, and in the scheme of things that's ok. She has told me she is a very private person, so I try to give her space. I check in with her every couple of months and we catch up on the superficial stuff. All in all I feel like I am at a good place with everyone in my family, and its been years since I have been able to state that.👍🏼💖
Rebecca
Whidbey
Wa8 -
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🤗🤗🤗 and 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 for those who need them.
🙋♀️ Miele failte to the newbies.
☘️ Terri
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Hi Gals,
I think I am more like Machka then some of you, of course it is too bad that someone passes and it is hard on friends and family. But the celebrities we “know” from books, movies, TV, podcasts are not knowing the whole person just their public facing bit and they don’t know us at all. I have never felt that attached to a celebrity from which ever genre unless I actually knew them in real life. But then it is not the celebrity you are missing but a friend or family member.
Sometimes it is amazing how different folks look at things. I wrote about my neighbor and was so excited about having help dealing with my tree and the vines, and mostly I just listened to the girl problems, and you all picked that out as the important piece. A new point of view. I was glad to help him and to listen, but I was all about me getting that darn tree/vine job done. I so appreciate this group as it helps me look at an event from different sides.
Thinking of you all,
Kim in N. California
That's exactly right ... most celebrities I see on TV live in another country. I've never met them and most likely won't.
My whole contact with them is in a show I watch now and then where they are acting a part. Even if the show is billed as "reality", like Lego Masters or a house restoration show or a morning chat show or whatever, the people on the show are acting. We have no idea what they are really like.
So for me, there's no point wasting any energy on them. They are just there to amuse me. And I'm just there to provide them with a data point for their ratings.
Also exactly right that you provided a listening ear and different point of view.
My work colleagues and I do that ... we talk or listen to each other and it is usually the one talking, describing the situation, who ends up solving their own situation. Being able to say it all out loud sorts it out.
M in Oz2 -
Criminy and tarnation
I fell asleep around 10:30 or so last night and the cat between 12-4 was hopping up on the bed then parading on the bedside table knocking stuff off.so now im awake for the day
Have to stop at the pharmacy and pick up scripts and then go for a haircut.
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Good morning ladies!
Allie, I would have to say that your cat is not working out for you. You can't give up sleeping!
Today is Dad's first session of the Mind Matters, an adult day care for people with mild dementia. I hope he likes it. He needs the social group and I need the respite. I get almost four hours to buy groceries and then relax. Yay! It costs $30 a day and includes lunch.
Have a great day, my friends! May you be happy, healthy, safe and free!
Annie in Delaware
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@Heather, I have a friend who walks a lot like you and had to have a hip replacement recently. I was surprised to see her walking her usually 2 miles one way to this park, without crutches, within 6 weeks of the surgery. She is in shape which I’m sure helped her, like you. I’m NOT suggesting you do that yet, just thought it was surprising and great to see how fast people can recover from something that used to be a long recovery. It amazes me how far surgery has come. My DH had his gallbladder removed by robot, and a hernia repair by robot. Only 3 tiny incisions for each and very quick recovery time. I’ve had many surgeries in my time and always have the large scars to prove it. So quick easy recovery and barely any scars still amaze me! (Hysterectomy/bladder repair, tennis elbow repair, appendicitis, and periodic gland removal due to tumor (spit gland by ear) to name a few)
RVRita in Roswell
Yes ... I had my appendix removed when I was about 20. I didn't have traditional appendicitis, instead I had retrocecal appendicitis which means the appendix was tucked up behind the large intestine. Back then, they didn't have all the imaging tools they do now. They tried a Laparoscopy but couldn't see anything. They tried a new-fangled thing called an ultrasound, but couldn't see anything. They tried telling me it was all in my head and informed me I was playing the hypochondriac to get attention. They told me it was stress, gas, and worms!
A few years of testing went on. Finally, a doctor decided to go in and find out what was going on because I would not give it up. I was cut from my belly button down, and he had a good rummage. And discovered that I had retrocecal appendicitis. My poor little appendix showed signs of frequent inflammations ... it was in bad shape.
I was left with a massive scar, and from the age of about 20, I will never have a flat stomach no matter what I do.
Turns out that retrocecal appendicitis is hereditary and, I think, 2 of my nieces have also been diagnosed with it and have had their appendixes removed. But with modern technology, theirs were discovered without surgery, and then removed through a tiny incision. It is amazing what they can do now!
M in Oz5 -
Back from craft. We had several absentees. People tend to go off on holidays this month to take advantage of the lower costs in June. I have no formal activities until Friday after lunch. Plenty to keep me occupied at home 😝
🤗🤗🤗 and 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 for those who need them.
🙋♀️ Miele failte to the newbies.
☘️ Terri
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Back to work today to give my poor little arms a rest.
But I was also back to stair climbing. I think all the stair climbing helped me on the weekend with the painting because I was up and down and up and down the step ladder all weekend, with no ill effects.
Rainy, windy day today - it's winter. But it's nice to have the rain. There's been enough to turn the grass green again!
Machka in Oz3 -
5295290
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Healing thoughts!
Lots of welcomes!
I carry you all in my heart every day!
Enjoying kitten time and trying not to stress about work. I am more like Tory- full of spit and vinegar and always on the move. I need to be more like Cali- calm, sedate, mysterious. DH calls her a princess
Trying to catch up!
Kylia in Ohio where of course it is 47° outside when I need to take the Miata in. Top down and heat on high anyway!!!!!8 -
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There are a lot of emotions like fear, anxiety, empathy, guilt, shame, pride that are useful in small measure but to excess are huge interferences in our ability to be useful to ourselves and others. Many people make use of therapy, the Twelve Steps, or spiritual practices to find balance in these emotions.Allie, when Bernie, the cat, woke me in the middle of the night, I hugged him and reminded myself of how much I love him and how much joy he brought to my life. He has been gone for almost two years and I still miss him. No one says get rid of your children if they wake you up and I say don't get rid of your cat just because she wakes you up. When I lose sleep in the middle of the night, I am grateful that I don't have to go to work as a surgeon or operating heavy machinery in the morning. Barbie in NW WA 6
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There are a lot of emotions like fear, anxiety, empathy, guilt, shame, pride that are useful in small measure but to excess are huge interferences in our ability to be useful to ourselves and others. Many people make use of therapy, the Twelve Steps, or spiritual practices to find balance in these emotions.Allie, when Bernie, the cat, woke me in the middle of the night, I hugged him and reminded myself of how much I love him and how much joy he brought to my life. He has been gone for almost two years and I still miss him. No one says get rid of your children if they wake you up and I say don't get rid of your cat just because she wakes you up. When I lose sleep in the middle of the night, I am grateful that I don't have to go to work as a surgeon or operating heavy machinery in the morning. Barbie in NW WA
Yes to both paragraphs.
Emotions take a lot of energy. I find I have very limited energy so I have to choose what I spend my energy on.
Many of you are in the enviable position of being able to sleep whenever you want throughout the 24 hours of the day! So if a cat or dog wakes you in the middle of night ... go back to sleep or sleep later.
I'm fortunate that Rhody pretty much sleeps through the night. I don't hear him at all with my sleeping zone of silence, but my husband occasionally hears Rhody come into the room. He'll give Rhody a pat which makes Rhody happy and he goes to one of his sleep locations.
Machka's sleeping zone of silence?
- room with almost no light
- separate beds for my husband and me so we can sleep how we like, with which pillows we like (me = lots of pillows, him = hardly any), with the mattresses we like, with blankets we like
- eye mask so that I can't see any light at all or any light changes
- ear plugs so I can't hear anything
By morning, I can hear my alarm because my ear plugs shift in the night. But just in case I turn it off, which I do sometimes, my husband wakes me. He's my back-up alarm.
Machka in Oz4 -
Yes Siri jumps on the bed and knocks her head on mine and starts purring up a storm so I can't really get to mad ,i give her a few pets and then if she starts knocking things of the table i squirt her with the water bottle..but alas she comes back.. yoyr right I sleep in a little later is all.2
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Here is the link to the pre-diabetes course I’m taking. It is based on the government’s version and has an app which makes it easier to log on the run. https://hope8020.com/diabetes-prevention-program-free A 6 week program that then spreads to monthly for a year.
Hope it helps somebody on here!
RVRita in Roswell5 -
I’ve been hearing some terrible news about an 11 year old in Albuquerque. He was part of a gang of kids who called themselves the Kia gang as they would follow the Tick Tock video on how to steal Kia’s and would bring them to chop shops for the money. One 11 year old was caught, carrying a gun and robbing a convenience store of cigarettes and liquor and candy. They have the kids on video from the store but only caught 1. What will they do with him? How can they rehabilitate this child? Will the parents be held responsible? These are all questions being discussed on the news here. We do have a law where the parents are held responsible if a child gets a weapon that was left so they could find it, but in this case, I think the child bought the gun with his Kia money. So sad…. our youth are not being taken care of by parents and get in with the wrong group so early these days. Scares me. My two grandsons, one 13 the other 14 have not been in trouble, and seem to be good kids. I am so grateful their parents, my kids, take good care of them and give them the attention they need. ‘
I admit to being a techie (technology nerd) but I have to say, I dislike the content that Tick Tock presents children. That is the only app I actually hate and will not use.
RVRita in Roswell8 -
Today is Yarn bombing day! Cover a tree with yarn!
RVRita in New Mexico4 -
Morning, dear hearts, from the beautiful, sunny, Arkansas River Valley...
Busy morning so far, but kind of unintentionally... went to water the garden, and there was a spider web on the hose reel, which reminded me that I needed to spray the edges of the house to get the bugs under control... and then I had to change the battery in the sprayer, and that didn't work, so I had to put the bug spray in the pump sprayer, and then get the house perimeter sprayed, and then deal with getting all that cleaned up after and get the two flower beds watered and get the sprinkler going to get the garden a good soaking... one little spider web, and all heck breaks loose! 😜😄👀😁
So, I got everything cleaned up and the sprinkler going, came inside, ate some breakfast, and then my gut went completely sideways. Frustrating - and unexpected! Usually, there's a weight gain before one of these sessions, but I was actually 3.5 pounds lighter this morning than I was last week Monday. Color me confused... I never seem to be able to develop any kind of dependable pattern with this, even a bad one.
Not sure if it's over, and it's had me feeling tired and achy and kind of awful for more than an hour, unfortunately. Ah well.
Regarding emotion - if nothing else, as Machka already noted, the last few years have also taught me that strong emotion costs energy, and I have a limited supply most days.
Regarding attaching to celebrities - I seldom if ever get attached to celebrities, but have been known to get attached to the characters they play. I adored Sheldon on the Big Bang theory, for instance, and didn't appreciate knowing that the actor was an ex-cigarette smoker. It was just such a non-Sheldon thing to do. Not nice to the actor - he deserves to work in other parts, but it's just a quirk on my part.
Kim - That's funny, because I was just pleased for you that you got help on what was obviously a really tough job!
Regarding pets - So many observations I could make, but in all honesty, I think this is one where I'll just let sleeping dogs lie. (Ba dump bum... )
I think a short
laydown is in order to let things settle.
Later, my dears,
Lisa in AR5
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