Finding Support and Like-Minded People in the MFP Community

AnnPT77 · June 23

Some things have changed around here recently, and not everyone likes the changes. I get that . . . support it, even. But we are here, now, with the tools we have. Some people plan to stay on MFP.

What I'd like is to foster a positive conversation about how to get support, find friends, find small-c community here on MFP with the tools we have now.

Explicitly, backward-looking comments about tools we used to have, wish we still had, are off topic on this thread. I will flag/report any posts of that nature, and ask the moderators to delete them. (I don't know whether they will.) There are many threads to air such complaints, ask for changes in MFP policy. It's a legitimate topic, but this is not that thread.

In an early post on this thread, I'll share some of the ways I find support here, and say why it works for me. I'll also comment a little on things I've seen work for others.

I look forward to other positive, supportive ideas other people may have for using threads, groups, the Activity Feed on the Community profile, or other remaining tools to learn, pursue goals, feel supported. My desire and intention is to help people succeed with their personal weight loss, fitness, and nutrition goals. Those things have been huge quality of life improvements for me; I want the equivalent thing for everyone. :flowerforyou:

Please, let's keep it positive.

AnnPT77 · June 23

I feel like different people prefer different forms of friendship and social interaction, even in real life; and that some of that social style difference carries over into virtual relationships, like those here in MFP.

Some people prefer what I think of as broad-spectrum relationships, in which they share and bond with others across many of their interests, activities, etc., sharing lots about what’s going on in their lives. Other people tend more to what I might call friends-within-realms.

I’m more of the latter. In real life, I have rowing friends, mixed media artist friends, gardener friends, foodie friends, YMCA friends. I don’t keep them apart, but they don’t mix lots because we do different things together.

That’s not a criticism of people who prefer a different approach. (To me, it’s more similar to liking vs. not liking brussels sprouts or opera, just a taste preference, not a value judgement.)

I’m kind of the same within MFP. I’ve had my most satisfying interactions here in the Community, mostly in topic-specific long-running threads or groups.

I enjoy participating in a thread where people share the day’s workouts. People there do different workout types, but also encourage each other and give tips. Sometimes there are comments tangent to the exercise, and a bit of chat about that.

Here are a couple of examples of that:
https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10705619/what-was-your-work-out-https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/331789/tlfc-exercise-and-accountability-support#latesttoday#latest

I participate in the first of those, but they’re both good. I like that I get to learn about things wildly different from what I personally do. That’s inspiring and fascinating.

The participants change over time, too. I participate in some threads where people share a love of certain foods, like cheese or produce. (They’re mostly different people than those in the exercise thread.) I get new ideas about things to try, or just dishes that make me drool. I’ve learned new dishes, new condiments, new ways to use ingredients: I like that.

These are some examples:
https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10726786/for-the-love-of-produce#latest
https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10854349/cheese-admiration-and-celebration#latest

Again, what I think is great is that comments are more specific and knowledgeable about the particular focus. There are lots more threads where people share eating/cooking ideas.

I’ve participated a little bit in threads or groups organized around age groups, or overall eating styles, but those seem less active and are somehow harder for me personally to figure out what to post. I think that’s verging more into the “broad-spectrum friendship” idea that isn’t as harmonious with my personality.

I participate somewhat in these threads/groups, but there exist many, for many different sub-groups or focuses:

https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10718336/60-yrs-and-up/p1
https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/group/100593-over-50-group
https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/group/145477-herbivores-of-mfp

Clearly, those are specialized niches, but similar things exist for many interests, especially in the Motivation and Challenges parts of the Community.

Over time, I feel like I’ve gotten to know some of the other long-time Community participants, and gotten a sense of them as people across a spectrum of topics, which is also fun and interesting. I assume that what I post also paints a picture of me, and gives me a reputation here, for good or evil. But it isn’t the same as picking a group of specific people and sharing everything with them.

I know (from casual reading here) that there are some threads that are more “semi-daily diary with friends”. I assume some people benefit from those (because they keep showing up there!), so I hope some of them will comment.

wautumn863 · June 24

When I started this I was losing weight I have been eating the same thing for 3 months but all of a sudden now I'm gaining weight what am I doing wrong

AnnPT77 · June 24

wautumn863 wrote: »

When I started this I was losing weight I have been eating the same thing for 3 months but all of a sudden now I'm gaining weight what am I doing wrong

If you're sticking with the calorie goal (and daily life/exercise activity level) that worked before, have you re-evaluated your calorie goal given your lighter weight? (Go back through MFP guided setup.) A lighter body requires fewer calories, so it's a good idea to re-evaluate every 10 pounds down or so.

Also, how long have you seen a stall on the scale? A week or two stall is super common, and not necessarily about fat loss. Water retention and digestive contents (on the way to the toilet, TMI!) can be multiple pounds, and mask fat loss on the scale for several weeks. A true plateau in weight is at least 4-6 weeks, occasionally longer.

Hang in there, you can do this!

MargaretYakoda · June 24

MFP staff tried to start an “adopt a pal” program.
Could be useful for some people who want a little more connection to others?
https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/group/143891-adopt-a-pal

Lietchi · June 24

There is also this type of post: https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10912304/every-day/p1
-> starting a thread where you can check in regularly and, if you want, inviting others to join in (or joining this kind of thread if the OP has invited you to do so)
I think it would probably work best for a small(ish) group of people with similar challenges, so it's a good idea to talk a bit about yourself and your goals.

mtaratoot · June 24

There's so many good tools on My Fitness Pal. I'm glad it's available. It helped me greatly and still does.

Years ago when I finally got serious about weight management after seeing some photographs, I used a USDA site called "Super Tracker." I had no interest in a commercial site. The USDA site was klunky, but it was run by the USDA. I trusted it, and I used it daily. It helped!

Well, since there were more commercial enterprises and since the government doesn't like to compete with private enterprise, they closed that site down. I looked at a few options, and for whatever reason I opted to stick with MFP. The database of foods (and activity) is extensive. The community is filled with people who want to help and who know what the limits of their knowledge are. There's others who promote things that are less savory, but fortunately there's folks who help guide the way to the truth.

I'm involved with a few groups here that are very supportive. Find one that fits for you and embrace it. Or just work with the various threads that are open to everyone.

The most important thing is to stick to it. Keep working on being a better you. Help others improve. Smile as often as possible. Eat food you love, but not too much. Keep moving. And yes - stick to it!

nossmf · June 24

In this post, I want to talk about what information to include in your own posts which will gather much more attention, and hopefully responses.

All too often, new members throw together a very brief introductory post declaring their intentions to the world, "I want to lose weight/get fit/be a better me!" Wonderful, welcome to the forums, glad you are here!

The problem comes in when the poster asks a super generic question without giving any responder the information needed to make a useful response. For example,

"Any ideas on diet?"

While a valid question, this is so completely unspecific that anybody trying to respond is faced with two choices: try to cover the entire spectrum of possible answers, or shrug and move on hoping somebody else will do the lengthy answer. While we do have a handful of dedicated people who are more than willing to bend over backwards and spend exorbitant amounts of time and effort in answering (people such as this thread's creator, @AnnPT77 ), unfortunately life happens and we are unable to devote the time needed to every single post. Consequently, the original poster asking for dietary help feels they are being ignored and can give up in a huff.

As an alternative, try asking a more focused question:

"I'm trying a Keto diet for the first time, any suggestions?" (emphasis added for illustration purposes, no need to do this in your own post)

Now people who use a Keto diet in their own lives will naturally have their eyes drawn to this keyword, greatly increasing the chances you not only get a response, but that the response you receive will be helpful in your specific situation.

Similar choice of keywords helps with a variety of topics:

"My doctor wants me to get more cardio, but a hip injury makes it hard to walk. Ideas?"
"I signed up for a triathlon in September. Where do I begin?"
"Any recipes for foods I can reheat in a microwave at work?"

Each of these post headings will be likely to capture the attention of people not only willing to help, but eager to discuss something dear to them.

*****

In a similar vein, we who are trying to help often need more information in order to make a detailed response.

"How much should I eat?"

This cannot be answered clearly, because we do not know without digging whether you are an underweight teenage athlete who is 4'9" trying to gain muscle for sports, or an overweight bedridden senior citizen who is 6'6" looking to lose weight. The calorie needs will differ drastically.

So if you want a detailed answer, please give a detailed question. We do not need to know highly personal information about your background and current life circumstances (unless you want to share with us). But some basic information will greatly improve the qualify of any responses:

"How much should I eat? I'm female, 5'4" and 165lbs, and want to lose 30lbs. I work a desk job but like to go hiking on the weekends with my dog."

*****

In summary, if you want your posts and questions to gather attention, please take a moment to flesh them out with enough detail and specific subject matter to catch the eye of your fellow MFP members. We WANT to help you, we WANT you to succeed. So in the immortal words of Jerry McGuire,

"Help me to help you!"

Finding Support and Like-Minded People in the MFP Community

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