Can anyone handle the truth??

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  • bettertracie
    bettertracie Posts: 196 Member
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    if you think i'm wrong, you're exactly the type of person i'm talking about. the kind i feel sorry for when i see them pretending they're happy instead of making themselves happy.

    Doesnt sound like MFP and it's SUPPORT SYSTEM are NOT for you... OR MAYBE YOU JUST REALLY NEED A HUG!!!
  • chelekaz
    chelekaz Posts: 871 Member
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    There is a big difference between enabling and being supportive. Between being honest and being abusive.

    As for your holier than though before / after picture remark... who cares? As long as they feel good about themselves that is what matters.

    And as weight is much easier to change than a terrible personality, I'll take my weight problem any day of the week.
  • Scott613
    Scott613 Posts: 2,317 Member
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    I honestly have never eaten a ringding and don't know what I'm missing. Are they tasty? Be honest. :P

    My gf loves ringdings and when I say it's time for the ringding she's all gobble gobble num num num:laugh:Honestly!
  • jaxdiablo
    jaxdiablo Posts: 580
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    This unfortunately is the trademark of someone who doesn't seem to have a lot of life experience. If you can't nicely tell someone to do something you have no tact. That makes you rude. If in a supporting fashion you can convince someone to make positive changes in their lives and move forward in a healthy fashion, then you are just showing you a better people person.

    Since we're going with honesty, great goals there. It kinda shows the type of person you are.
  • PhilipByrne
    PhilipByrne Posts: 276 Member
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    if you think i'm wrong, you're exactly the type of person i'm talking about. the kind i feel sorry for when i see them pretending they're happy instead of making themselves happy.

    You sound like a silly little girl who thinks she is being ballsy. Maybe when you have a few more miles on the clock you'll realise what a silly girl you were. Or maybe not.
  • flimflamfloz
    flimflamfloz Posts: 1,980 Member
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    To each their own really, I guess it pretty much depends on your past experiences/childhood/failures.

    I am completely like riyahroyce on this, I don't mind to be pushed/poked out of my comfort zone. I need this "violence" and "realism" to get myself motivated, and with just kind words, I would not be pushed out of my comfort zone and would not be "forced" to do anything about it.

    I can understand though that some people are allergic to this "violence", and they find it demotivating. Depends on where you stand really.
  • chanstriste13
    chanstriste13 Posts: 3,277 Member
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    you can be honest without being an as$hole. i think most people would prefer that route.
  • shovav91
    shovav91 Posts: 2,335 Member
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    This place is all about support. Some of these people are constantly under scrutiny for the way they look. That takes a toll on even the strongest of people. Coming together with the common goal of health is important, but it doesn't happen overnight. It is a long process, and having people who actually UNDERSTAND what they're going through is essential. They aren't telling each other to keep the weight on, but what good does making someone feel bad about themselves do? None at all, it's certainly not healthy motivation.
    If you don't understand that, what are you doing here?
  • xAdrianax
    xAdrianax Posts: 269 Member
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    Sorry we are not all as strong as you.


    And sorry that you cant believe that others do like the way people look even before.

    Your post seemed quite aggressive and jumpy....just saying - i mean you like people to cut to the chase clearly and be honest.
  • riyahroyce
    riyahroyce Posts: 21
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    its because i WANT people to feel better that i think they should DO better. correct, they may be going through something awful. correct, you cant judge strangers. correct, some people are happy no matter how they look.

    and im not trying to "scold the fatties"..i think most of the people on here are really trying to make positive changes for themselves, and thats great. i'm just wondering why people cant handle the truth. and its great to know im not alone :)
  • ladybug1620
    ladybug1620 Posts: 1,136 Member
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    It's called "feelings." People have them, and compassionate normal people don't like to hurt other's feelings. I do agree with you on the point that lying to someone isn't helping them, when they're obviously unhealthy. But telling them they're fat isn't the way to do it. I had an aunt who was very overweight. She would cry to me sometimes about how she was fat and gross. Instead of telling her she wasn't fat and she was fine, I would offer to work out with her. I would ask her to come over and use my apartment's workout room with me. She never took me up on the offer, but it's her body and her choice. It's not up to you to save somebody with tough love. You should be there to support them, and if they choose to keep living an unhealthy life then butt out of it.
  • lackie09
    lackie09 Posts: 123 Member
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    Maybe you have NO IDEA what theses people have really gone through... I was pretty at my before... I WAS HAPPY at my BEFORE, because I didn't know any better...

    So when PEOPLE LIKE YOU, have THOUGHTS LIKE THIS...

    KEEP THEM TO YOURSELF AND SHAME ON YOU FOR HAVING ZERO COMPASSION FOR WHAT EVENTS YOU HAVE NO CLUE OF!!!

    YES, THAT SAYS 80 POUNDS LOST WOO HOO!!

    agreed!
  • auntdeedee87
    auntdeedee87 Posts: 706 Member
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    if you think i'm wrong, you're exactly the type of person i'm talking about. the kind i feel sorry for when i see them pretending they're happy instead of making themselves happy.

    I'm confused as to when I ever said I was unhappy?
  • AureliaCotta
    AureliaCotta Posts: 99 Member
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    I'm all for honesty and would rather hear it when possible. But at the same time being honest doesn't necessarily mean one can't also be supportive...or that one has to be cruel about it.
  • sjcply
    sjcply Posts: 817 Member
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    if you think i'm wrong, you're exactly the type of person i'm talking about. the kind i feel sorry for when i see them pretending they're happy instead of making themselves happy.

    disagree with this!! I am in the best shape of my life, and I take my health and fitness serious! BUT there was a day that I didnt, and it was the support of my friends that got my past it. Some ppl are not yet in that mind frame and sometimes a little unconditional support is the best way to help them get where they want to be. Now I am not in it for a pitty party either, if you cant put up the work and effort then I wont feel sorry for you. BUT no need to criticize someone that is overweight!
  • kiltbunny
    kiltbunny Posts: 159 Member
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    Eh, I call myself fat all the time because I am. LOL That's why I'm here - I'm fat and I don't want to be. I like chatting with other fat people or formerly fats who have the same goal - fit and skinny! If someone has lost some weight and looks BETTER, then yes, they look BETTER. Tell me I look BETTER but don't tell me I'm done or look fine the way I am!! I'm not and I most certainly don't!! I'm still overweight (aka fat!!). I hope no one is stopping once they get out of "obese" and saying "wow, I'm done, that was hard". Those people make me sad.
  • ManicMelody
    ManicMelody Posts: 85
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    Wow, remove the corn cob from deep within your colon. Everyone here is looking to better themselves.
  • bstevens1021
    bstevens1021 Posts: 33
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    Would anyone tell a football player who is 250 pounds and muscular that he is fat because he is over 200 pounds? No, so why should you automatically assume that anyone who is 200 pounds (or 180, or 160, whatever), is too fat? Just because it's not right for you doesn't mean it's not right for another individual. And no, not everyone here is here to turn into the cover of a fitness magazine, so why don't you back off and let each person do what works for them and what makes them happy without telling them what they *should* be doing and what *should* make them happy?

    IA w/the "bonehead" and "allergic to nuts" comments above. :P
  • Qarol
    Qarol Posts: 6,171 Member
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    I don't ask for advice because most people are stupid.
  • TS65
    TS65 Posts: 1,024 Member
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    Advising a poster to live up to her boyfriend's standards or "move down" to someone who will accept her for who she is doesn't have a clue about what constitutes the "truth."

    So... sorry, as stated above, I have to agree...the truth is you really were a bonehead.
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