Can anyone handle the truth??

i hear what you are saying - however, aside from being self-deluding which we can all be about our flaws including our weight sometimes, I think in general it's kind of obvious if you are overweight and its kind of obvious you need to do something about it.

People are more focused on their lives and careers and families and maybe the health of an ailing elder - to shove in their face that they are fat, does NOT help. After all, with all our stresses, who wants the added stress of acknowledging the long and hard road that would be ahead of them if they chose to wrestle with their fat issues and what if they failed at it anyway. What if they took precious time away from their children, etc. to just be selfish with workout time and FAIL.

What does help a person who is struggling is saying - I'm willing to support you when you are ready to deal with the issue. And guess what ?- no one wants to deal with an issue when they don't feel "EMPOWERED" to do so. When you look down and see 50-100 extra pounds on your body - that must deflate your ego pretty easily . there's the evidence that in the department of self-care you are pretty ****ing useless....

So it has to be a combination of "love" and "tough" when trying to help someone get over such hurdles.

PEOPLE HAVE ISSUES - which is why they are usually FAT in the first place. If you read more about the psychology of why people are fat or the spiritual view of it - it becomes pretty obvious that people have MORE GOING ON than their fat. Their FAT is a BYPRODUCT of other things. You might look good or normal and keep to your workout routine, but if you wake up every morning and are a ***** to everyone you see - obviously, you have issues as well and they are coming out thru the expression of your interpersonal relations rather than your body chemistry. We all have flaws and we can all be ugly in our own ways.

There are many people that argue in sports that most performance is seriously 80% mental and only 20% physical. And there are many trainers who argue the same when trying to teach an overweight client how to get healthy. It may or may not be hard to make yourself into a mouse that gets on the wheel and runs off those extra calories every day and make those changes that society and science say are good for your body, AND I can attest physical activity alone can do a lot for a person's self-esteem and mood disposition based on body chemistry - HOWEVER - many people will tell you that anyone can accomplish this and THEN GAIN ALL THE WEIGHT BACK BECAUSE - people are not addressing the underlying issues of WHY THEY ARE FAT. Why is their eating out of control? Why are they in denial in the first place? Why is their self-awareness so bad, they let all that fat gather on their body without even putting up a fight?

If you want a really true answer to this question other than some random strangers unqualified opinion on MFP - read:

Geneen Roth's book - Food, Women, and God

(it sounds like a tacky religious self-help feel good book that panders to neurotic women but IT'S NOT - it's brilliant and eye opening!)

As for delusions of being fat - i had a friend who was 100 pounds overweight and to be honest, she was mad for the same reason you are....the weight came on her gradually over time and finally she realized what she had become and she was very angry - she said, WHY THE HELL DIDN'T MY DOCTOR TELL ME!

On a more sympathetic note, i do get aggrivated when i see propaganda about being Big and Beautiful....I don't think there is anything wrong with various perspectives on what is beautiful - and if you're a big girl - there is no reason to hide yourself in shame or think of yourself as a lesser human being. you should be out there strutting your stuff happy to be you. BUT THAT DOES NOT MEAN you are healthy. And no one should be encouraged to be in an unhealthy state. BUT IN ALL HONEST, it is better to be happy with yourself. It is more importan to be emotionally and mentally healthy rather than physically healthy. I know I personally believe those things are all interconnected but NO GOOD CAN COME OF HATING YOURSELF or YOUR BODY.

At 196 lbs in 2006, I was completely happy, eating McDonald's every day, sometimes twice a day. If I had a tough time, or my kids did a good job, we'd reward, comfort, entertain with food. We knew no different, as that how the environment is. I was brought up by a single mother with no time for cooknig healthy in the 80's and 90's. So, I started raising my children the same way. When I went for a physical, I weighed in near what I was at my delivery weight for my oldest child. And that sparked a new motivation in me. Over the last 5 years, I have yoyoed and been through peaks and valleys with my weight. Today, tho I am nowhere near my goal weight, I'm feeling better, looking better, happier and I was told I was "inspiring" today. I am dedicated to my personal definition of fitness and healthy eating. My before picture looks probably what a normal before picture looks like.

Handling the truth isn't the problem. It's personal motivation. Probably you don't want to be fat, but maybe you don't know what needs to change. I read these posts and find most have a little nugget of something I can use. MyFitnessPal has been the biggest motivator, and help in keeping me in check. Partly because of my open diary, and friends who can look and see what I do anytime.

Most people can handle the truth. Most people can take critism that is constructive. Just straight negativity did nothing to help anyone.

This is a ring ding....Who wants one?

you would post the pic..lmao

meeeee!

I'm over 200 pounds and I'm a happy person. I'm not trying to get healthy to make myself happy, because I don't equate who I am with the way I look. Most awesome part: I will get fit AND be an awesome person, and you'll still think you're somehow better than everyone else just because you're not fat.

Word :drinker:

People who lose weight because they are fat phobic aren't going to be happy at any size. Healthy living is what I'm going for. My mental health is part of that, which is why I avoid friends who pass off judgement as compassion. Not sure it makes much sense to criticize someone to encourage them to do better because you know they can. I also try to hang out with people that understand that beauty is about much more than size.

I know plenty of skinny people that are ugly. Hard to lose ugly, I hear its terminal and bone deep...

Movie Name: Welcome to the Dollhouse (1995)
Quote:
[Dawn offers Steve something to eat while he waits for Mark to come
home]
Dawn Weiner: Ring Dings, Pop Tarts, whatever! I can make Jell-O.

Movie Name: Trapped in Paradise (1994)
Quote:
Alvin Firpo: Hey Dave, can we stop off and get some Ring Dings and
milk?
Bill Firpo: Ring Dings and milk? Oh sure. Then well get some balloons
and go to the puppet show. What are you, two years old?

SO where are your pictures BIG GIRL yes I called you that becasue it must have BEEN THE TRUTH since you are on this site ...RIGHT..Im sure you were FAT, maybe a lil UNATTRACTIVE, LONELY, the list could go on Im sure BUT no worries I know this didnt bother you because YOU CAN HANDLE THE TRUTH RIGHT !!!

everyone needs to cut the BS and be realistic with themselves. that's what i do. that's why my "before" looks like your "after".

.

really? I bet that's why you have a cartoon for your profile picture.....mmmmm twinkies

For the record, mom feeding me ringdings when I was a kid started this whole hellish journey. Ringdings are evil!! Dammit, now I need to go shopping.

For the record, being older doesn't automatically make one wiser, but it does help one learn what true class is. Classless seems to be the going theme with immature people these days.

This is a ring ding....Who wants one?

thanks Scott. Now I want a damn ringding and a ho-ho and a Rice Krispy Treat and anything else any of you have...

Forum Troll

An obnoxious user or member on a forum that goes out of their way to make pointless, offensive, or annoying posts and messages. Often these users are labeled as spammers and will post random off-topic junk in many sections of a forum.

^^ this

would also like to add that "my before looks like your after" made me laugh. Totally sounds like something my cousin would say.

But, then again she is a stupid, naive immature c*nt too.. so maybe you are two peas in a pod.