*sigh*Partner losing weight?They are planning to leave

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Replies

  • marnijojo
    marnijojo Posts: 235 Member
    For me it's partly true.

    I really don't know how long i can keep going with how things are, so if/when i do leave, I want to be a more "eligible bachelor"

    But my case is rather unique, seems I'm in the minority here.

    While I do not agree with the overall premise of the article, I will agree that losing weight and getting in shape was the first step for me in getting control of my life and building my confidence/self-esteem, which then gave me the courage to get out of a bad situation. But I would definitely say that I did not decide to lose weight with a secret agenda to leave my spouse, it just turned out that way.
  • eellis2000
    eellis2000 Posts: 465 Member
    I didn't read the article, but my personal thoughts are that losing weight is a result of how you feel in your relationship and life rather than a cause to change how you feel about your relationship and life!
  • ImKindOfABigDeal40
    ImKindOfABigDeal40 Posts: 807 Member
    With the divorce rate being as high as it is, can you really blame people for being jumpy?
  • Pollywog39
    Pollywog39 Posts: 1,730 Member
    I think that this scenario CAN be true, and the whole thing is more about the relationship(s) than the person losing weight.

    My 'x' was a very jealous, insecure man. When I started to gain, he didn't say much......oh, a little poke or two at my belly, but nothing TOO mean-spirited.............but when I wanted to LOSE, he'd sabatoge me all the way. Bring home pizzas and special treats and encourage me with his loving kindness to EAT, EAT........at the time, I didn't truly realize what was going on, but it didn't take long to get the hint. He was afraid - and he should have been. The guy was uncontrollably possessive and a bit crazy, along with being chemically dependent and just plain nutz ;)

    I have since left him, been single for about 10 yrs, and am beginning my road (once again) to becoming healthy and thinner and more "ME"!
  • CMmrsfloyd
    CMmrsfloyd Posts: 2,380 Member
    Well I'm losing weight and have no plans whatsoever to leave my husband. I'mdgoing it for me but I'm also doing it for us and for our family. I want to feel better about myself and have more energy so I can be the best wife and mom I can be. I want to look and feel sexier, for me and for my husband. I want to be healthier and have a better understanding of fitness and nutrition before we try to have another baby. None of my reasons are even remotely related to any desire to leave. Yes sure it can definitely be true for some people, but not for everyone.
  • billsica
    billsica Posts: 4,741 Member
    I didn't read the study. Me loosing weight was a source of stress. Also my working out was a big issue too.
  • Sookie_182
    Sookie_182 Posts: 72 Member
    I'm not going to read the article. A study can be skewed to prove any point. My relationship is stable and I'm getting fit so that I can spend many more years with my boyfriend, not leave him.

    same as! I'm trying to lose weight for me and no body else! I think some people just write these articles just ta stir up crap!!
  • chocolateandvodka
    chocolateandvodka Posts: 1,850 Member
    i lost weight, left, lost more weight. coincidence? totally.... except for one thing.

    the marriage was already bad. no, it was awful. it was abusive, a trainwreck.

    losing weight and discovering that i could do something on my own gave me the courage i needed to make the best choices for my emotional and mental health as well as my physical well being. so yes. i wound up leaving after losing weight. however... it had nothing to do with me "getting hot" and then discovering i "had options" unless you count being healthy an option. i consider it an obligation.
  • Pollywog39
    Pollywog39 Posts: 1,730 Member
    and, JUST to offset this story, how about this one?

    ..FULTON, New York (AP) — When Jay Wornick's wife said they both should lose some weight as a New Year's resolution, he took up the challenge. Ten months later, he's 200 pounds (90 kilograms) lighter.

    Wornick tells the Post-Standard of Syracuse (http://bit.ly/szPx81 ) that he weighed 366 pounds (166 kilograms) on Jan. 1, when his wife issued the challenge. As of Monday, he was down to 168 pounds (76 kilograms). That's a 198-pound (90-kilogram) weight loss in a little more than 10 months.

    The 30-year-old father of three says his typical daily meals used to include a 20-ounce (566-gram) steak and three potatoes washed down with a 12-pack of soda.

    Now he eats fruits, vegetables and lean meats, drinks water and works out six days a week at the YMCA near the family's home in Fulton in central New York.

    ..
  • Jewcybabe
    Jewcybabe Posts: 241 Member
    My beau and I are eating healthy, getting fit, and losing weight together.......
  • kennethmgreen
    kennethmgreen Posts: 1,759 Member
    it had nothing to do with me "getting hot" and then discovering i "had options" unless you count being healthy an option. i consider it an obligation.
    I love this. I think being healthy is an obligation. I believe when we fully accept this, it makes a world of difference.
  • luvinlaurakate
    luvinlaurakate Posts: 145 Member
    My cousin said something like this to me just a few weeks ago, that women either lose weight to keep a man or get a new one. I laughed at him and told him that was stupid., but I guess he isn't the only one who thinks that way. I know I am not losing weight for either of those reasons. I have been married almost 10 years and have been overweight for all of those. I have just finally gotten to the point in my life that I am ready to get "me" back... to lose all of this baby weight I now have and to feel good about myself again. Has nothing to do with my husband, besides the fact that I fantasize about all the "interesting" things that my skinnier self will be able to do *ahem* with him!
  • theberg
    theberg Posts: 80
    Correlation != causeation

    Statistics are fun...

    Http://xkcd.com/925
  • PeachyKeene
    PeachyKeene Posts: 1,645 Member
    People who lose weight while they're in an apparently steady relationship are secretly preparing to dump their other halves, says a new relationships study.

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/science/science-news/8873954/Beware-If-you-partner-is-losing-weight-they-are-probably-planning-to-leave.html

    My husband sent me this article link this morning, saying he hopes this isn't us.

    I thought he knew better than that!

    Discuss.

    Ya'll are doing it together, so that makes a big difference.

    As for me and my husband. There were already a lot of issues there. LOTS!!!!
  • Katzilla82
    Katzilla82 Posts: 80
    Bullsh*t. I'm losing baby weight. I'm not leaving the best man in the world.
    couldn't said it better myself!
  • cjs3001
    cjs3001 Posts: 273 Member
    I love all these 'studies'. Maybe we are just losing weight because we don't want to die? Th
  • cjs3001
    cjs3001 Posts: 273 Member
    I love all these 'studies'. Maybe we are just losing weight because we don't want to die? Though the point where I throw on some thigh high boots, a Wonderbra and hit the town, I want you to all stop me okay?! *shakes head*
  • d2footballJRC
    d2footballJRC Posts: 2,684 Member
    Is this by the same person that wrote the article that fat girls are easier... There are some really dumb journalist out there.
  • MrsCurtisinTX
    MrsCurtisinTX Posts: 88 Member
    This is one of the most ridiculous things I have heard of in a while. If you have a strong relationship the weight shouldn't matter. People split up because of other insecurities not because they are lesser in pounds or are working in order to lose weight an becoming more healthier. Now, that being said...does it happen that people split up because of losing weight...yes, but that is not because there weren't other underlying issues. Thats my two cents worth :)


    Mary
  • cppeace
    cppeace Posts: 764 Member
    Is this by the same person that wrote the article that fat girls are easier... There are some really dumb journalist out there.

    I agree :)
    lol ask any guy I've ever been out with how "easy" I am :P
    If you leave cause you feel like you deserve better now that your in shape you are a shallow soul who was settling. That is no reason to be in a relationship. For me it's compatibility and care or nothing. Rather be alone than settle- sowwy :)
  • kristinadavid
    kristinadavid Posts: 1 Member
    I don't think this study is all inclusive. I can see though why in many cases it might look as though this is the case. Many times when people are not the shape they feel that they should be in their self esteem is low and they might feel they are not worthy of the love of a kind, caring, wonderful person. When people adjust to having a healthier lifestyle and start to feel better about themself they realize that they are worthy of a healthy relationship with someone who appreciates them and treats them well- so they do end up leaving the person that they were in a relationship with before.
  • heatherreneehill
    heatherreneehill Posts: 4
    Yeah I seen that...God forbid if you're losing weight because of health reasons or because you're tired of being the way you are. Don't use common sense media...keep speculating ;)
  • calliope_music
    calliope_music Posts: 1,242 Member
    i would hope my husband knows better. i'm losing weight so we can have healthy babies!
  • Liluth
    Liluth Posts: 84 Member
    I personally don't trust anything that says it's based on a study if a link to the study isn't provided.

    Part of being a good journalist is taking a piece and putting the most interesting/controversial headline on it.

    Facts, new article, or gtfo.
  • Rayman79
    Rayman79 Posts: 2,009 Member
    Bullsh*t. I'm losing baby weight. I'm not leaving the best man in the world.

    Well that can't be true... we're not married!?! =P
  • JellyJaks
    JellyJaks Posts: 589 Member
    Well if you follow all the studies, one week they are telling you something is bad for you and the next week it's the way to lose weight. They're like the tabloids in the line at the supermarket. One says Brad and Angelina are getting married and the other one says she's sleeping with another woman :laugh:

    Oh and beat him with the smart stick for even asking such a ridiculous question!
  • dreilingda
    dreilingda Posts: 122 Member
    Well crap I was doing it so that I would be more attractive for my wife and live a long life with her. Now I guess I'd better go find a hussie...
  • colorfulcupcakes
    colorfulcupcakes Posts: 122 Member
    I didn't follow the link but I just need to say that I've always been heavier when single, and then when I get into a relationship I feel "safe enough" to lose weight.
  • SixCatFaerie
    SixCatFaerie Posts: 690 Member
    I read the article, and I don't like the assumption that someone in a relationship is supposed to just give up on what they look like, and showing any interest in their fitness or health is a sign they are getting ready to leave! What a proposterous assumption. I am in a steady relationship, and the #1 reason I want to lose this weight is to be healthy and have a longer life with him...not so I can go find a new partner!

    Exactly!
  • AshDHart
    AshDHart Posts: 818 Member
    My husband and I have each lost 71 lbs. Not so we can leave each other but so we can stay alive and healthy for each other. We have had 18 wonderful years and we want to make sure we have many more. On the other hand we are both getting "new" spouses so to speak. With the new energy and self-confidence we are in a 2nd honeymoon phase. :love:
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