If you could tell that ONE coworker SOMETHING....



  • _GingerSnap_
    _GingerSnap_ Posts: 339 Member
    Get over yourself! You are NOT Carrie Bradshaw from Sex and the City. You are NOT the authority of all that is awesome. You live in the boondocks of NH for F**** sake and have had such a sheltered existence that if you did visit the big bad city, you would get eaten alive!

    Too my other co-worker, please stop going out for a smoke break every hour then coming into my office to tell me something REAAAALY close. You reek and go get some gum.

    Wow, much better thanks!
  • No one wants to hear you whistling
  • I am having a private conversation in my office that doesn't include you. GET OUT AND DO NOT COME BACK IN AND DO NOT SIT YOUR BUTT DOWN LIKE YOU OWN THE JOINT. IF I WANT YOUR OPINION I WILL ASK FOR IT, IT IS NOT ALL ABOUT YOU!

    ahhhhhhhhh...... that felt good
  • starbucksbuzz
    starbucksbuzz Posts: 466 Member
    I did not start this conversation so we could talk for a half hour about your niece and your dog.... inevitably where alllll the conversations end up.
  • monicamk1975
    monicamk1975 Posts: 298 Member
    not a coworker, but the owner, "I can't pay you until next Tuesday verses this Saturday, but I told you it was the 15th and the 30th so its supposed to be that way. The first time was just a coinsidence" Umm ya right, you said we got paid every two weeks, not the 15th and the 30th. I was the director of HR for 7 years you bimbo, I paid 400 people correctly and ontime... you only have 2 of us to pay... get it right. Your financial miscalculations are in no way my problem and the first time you cant pay me, I cant work any longer... (I'm looking forward to going back to being a SAHM anyway lol)
  • To one: Stop crunching on carrots and other loud food for hours on end!

    To another: Learn to swallow your own spit so you don't choke on it all the time!

    To yet another: Stop glaring at me when I brush my teeth in the bathroom. It's not a big deal!
  • Banrion
    Banrion Posts: 157 Member
    Learn to shower!!!!!!
  • KassiV
    KassiV Posts: 28
    I sooooo need this today:
    To my incompetent f-tard of a co-worker: The reason you "suddenly" have so much free time is because everyone brings their issues to me instead of you. Why? Because I will get it done before the next ice age hits.
    To my carpool passenger: you smell awful. I take a deep breath right before you get in the car and take shallow breaths for the rest of the ride. Your cheap cologne does not mingle well with your BO.
    Thanks so much for this thread, it could not have come at a better time!! :smile:
  • karenjoy
    karenjoy Posts: 1,841 Member
    You drink too much, that is why you shake sometimes, EVERYONE in the office notices and comments when you get them. Stop drinking so much.

    oh and the reason your son is such a pain in the *kitten*, steals, lies, has been expelled from school, is in trouble with the police, has no friends, beats you up, is because although you are a good laugh, you are not a good parent, put your own needs first and he grew up in a house were people got drunk all the time, where he is given in to for a quiet life and gets no discipline...and we have ALL had enough of listening to how you don't know what to do...because we have ALL TOLD YOU OVER AND OVER
  • MissingMyOldSelf
    MissingMyOldSelf Posts: 689 Member
    Not trying to offend anyone today... or ever.... but:

    If I hear more "crap" about the Twilight movie, I'm going to go postal. I can't stand the movies (the books....were just "meh"), and for Christ's sake.... you're almost 50 years old. I don't get excited about Ryan Gosling like this cougar gets excited about Robert Pattinson.

    ....and the fact that she spends gobs of money on the tabloid magazines about it.... JHChrist.
  • Wow, I work for myself and currently have no employees or co-workers. Sometimes I get lonely, but good grief, this is making me really appreciate being by myself most of the day! Also, it's making me laugh really hard, too!

    Me too. I sometimes hate being alone all day however I choose the music and no one bothers me. x
  • Tori_356
    Tori_356 Posts: 510 Member
    Oh lord I don't even know where to begin....I can't lol

    I feel the same, there are so many things..............I could go on all day. I rather just not let it bother me - not worth getting all upset over.
  • talrcat
    talrcat Posts: 97 Member
    amen to that!
  • surfrgrl1
    surfrgrl1 Posts: 1,463 Member
    Quit farting, belching, yawning, and getting up to stare out the window. Just because you have your headphones on doesn't mean the rest of us can't hear you talk and sing to yourself. If you have a medical condition that makes you yawn 10 times a minute, every minute of the day, maybe you should go see a doctor about it. OMG just get the F*** out before I throw you out the window that you so fondly enjoy looking out of!
  • laughingnome
    laughingnome Posts: 259 Member
    SHUT UP you don;t have to respond to every conversation, no one is talking to you.
  • calibri
    calibri Posts: 439 Member
    People don't dismiss your statements because they think you are stupid; they do it because you are unpleasant to speak with and you shout down any possible alternatives.
  • cabaray
    cabaray Posts: 971 Member
    You do realize that no one actually believes you when you say your d*ck is bigger that the bull on your farm. (No, I'm not kidding, this is one of the gems this guy has come up with).

    To another coworker:
    Working for this company is not the reason you filed bankruptcy.
    The fact that you have four kids and a lazy wife is why...besides, you filed bankruptcy BEFORE you started working here!
  • subela
    subela Posts: 76
    "No. I do not want to see your collection of celebrity autographs. So don't be displaying them across my desk when I'm trying to work. This is not 2nd grade, there is no show and tell here!"
  • surfrgrl1
    surfrgrl1 Posts: 1,463 Member
    Okay, I don't know about the rest of you, but I sure feel better after blurting all that out!!:laugh:
  • ScarlettVamp
    ScarlettVamp Posts: 822 Member
    I actually did tell her this, though in a much nicer way: Get the F*** out of my personal space you close talking, onion eating, non hair washing, stinky perfume wearing, know-it- all pain in my *kitten*.

    And the other thing I want to say but can't: When you ask someone a question and they are answering you, you do NOT need to say "UH HUH, UH HUH, UH HUH" throughout their entire answer. It's f***ing annoying!!!!