Should I be annoyed?

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apatrick106
apatrick106 Posts: 68 Member
in Chit-Chat
I pack my husband’s lunch every day, make a sandwich, snacks, drinks etc...and there are days when he comes home and I empty his cooler and he did not eat his lunch! The snacks do not bother me but when I see his sandwich still in the container it IRKS the Bleep out of me! I take time out of my morning to pack his lunch and he does even eat it! I work also so to me that is time wasted I could be out of the door 15 mins sooner! He is blue collar and I have office job and know his job is much harder physically so I thought making his lunch would be nice and give him a lil more time to relax in the morning, but now I am getting really fed up!

Do I have a right to mad?Should I just make the sandwhich and get over?

He does work really hard and works on the weekends etc...to make sure we have everything we need/want does an uneaten sandwich really matter?????
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Replies

  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
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    have u asked him why he didnt eat it?!
  • i_love_vinegar
    i_love_vinegar Posts: 2,092 Member
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    some days he is probably tired of sandwiches..maybe mix it up a little ^^

    i think since he works even on the weekends, you should not say anything and just try harder...that is what I would do ^^

    Good luck and that is very sweet of you btw~
  • 2bFitNTrim
    2bFitNTrim Posts: 1,209 Member
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    I wouldn't be annoyed. I doubt it is anything personal against you. Maybe he just didn't want the sandwich. Ask him what he'd like to have in his lunches. It's sweet that you do this for him. It's a loving gesture.
  • ls_66
    ls_66 Posts: 395 Member
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    wish my wife would fix me a sammich
  • runiechica
    runiechica Posts: 180 Member
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    You have the right feel what we feel, but I would ask what you have done about it? Did you talk to him? Find out why he didn't eat the sandwich? Ask him how he feels about you making his lunch and tell how you feel when he leaves stuff. Communication is the key.

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  • RunningAddict
    RunningAddict Posts: 548 Member
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    WELL IF SOMETHING REALLY ERRKS ME I HAVE TO ASK OR SAY SOMETHING BECAUSE SOONER OR LATER I CAN'T TAKE THE SUSPENSE ANYMORE. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH ASKING IN A NICE WAY. YOU COULD SAY SOMETHING LIKE HEY HUN I NOTICED THAT YOU DIDN'T EAT YOUR SANDWICH DO YOU WANT TO GET SOMETHING DIFFERENT FOR YOUR LUNCH? IT COULD BE THAT HE DOESN'T WANT TO HURT YOUR FEELINGS BY SAYING NOT TO PACK ANYTHING. I'M ALL FOR COMMUNICATION IN A RELATIONSHIP-NO PARTNER SHOULD HAVE TO WONDER ABOUT THINGS JUST CONVERSATE ABOUT IT NOT ARGUE. =)
  • _Ben
    _Ben Posts: 1,608 Member
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    Really its totally understandable. I used to make my girls lunch, but shed sometimes go out to eat, just not eat at all, and it used to bother me, but really I realized that if thats what she wants to do, theres no point in wasting my time being bothered by it
  • Wendysworld13
    Wendysworld13 Posts: 225 Member
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    All of the above!! Plus, ask him if he wants you to make his lunch and maybe, make a list of things he wants or a weekly menu. All the solutions are simple - however the result of not communicating is ire and frustration. Talk to him - and life is good!
  • katkins3
    katkins3 Posts: 1,360 Member
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    You may find MHO offensive, but here it is:
    If your husband is over 12, its time he took responsibility for his own lunch.
    I stopped making lunches for my kids when they got old enough to do it themselves. It's time for him to grow up and make his own lunch.
  • koylefam
    koylefam Posts: 142 Member
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    my hubby does 12 hour shifts(leaves house by 6:30 am if not sooner)... and gets called in on most of his days off.... he packs his own luch. But When i make dinner I make sure to cook a little extra so he can have leftovers of the previous nights dinner. That wa he gets something new everyday. And most the guys at his work are VERY ENVIOUS of his lunches.. He takes the main dish (which I put away for him the nigth before) then packs in whatever goodies/snacks.. this might be comething to try...
  • lorihalsted
    lorihalsted Posts: 326 Member
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    My husband works really hard physically too and sometimes eating very much during the day (even a sandwich) kind of makes him sick. He usually eats one good meal in the evening and just snacks during the day. Just ask him....or continue making it and not worry about it! Don't sweat the small stuff (I tell myself that all the time).
  • sunkisses
    sunkisses Posts: 2,365 Member
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    I'd stop making his lunch. I know you're already annoyed and looking for validation from us, but I think a) he didn't ask you to make his lunch, you just thought it would be nice to do it for him, b) you're pissed because his not eating the sandwich signifies to you that he does not appreciate what you're doing, and c) people get sick of the same things every single day.

    Your husband is a grown man. Throwing lunch together in the morning is not stressful or time consuming. And he doesn't even have to empty his own lunch bag afterward. Must be nice. If you want less stress, take on less responsibility for things.
  • apatrick106
    apatrick106 Posts: 68 Member
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    Thanks everyone!

    He says just what everyone said.....I am tired of eating sandwiches! Because he works outside sandwiches really are his only choice! So when there is a subshop etc..close by him and the guys usally eat out!

    We have talked about it and I tell him how I feel and he tells me how much he does appreciate it then I start to feeling silly thinking really it is only sandwich why I am so irked, there much bigger problems in the world than an uneaten sandwich.

    You all are right!! Thanks for the helpful insight!
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
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    I make lunch for my husband to take to work. If he doesn't eat his sandwich - maybe his boss bought them lunch? - he gets it the same sandwich the next day. It'll keep. Might be a little mushy, but still edible.
  • ashnm88
    ashnm88 Posts: 748
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    If I were married, I'm not about to make a grown man his lunch for work. If you have to make him his lunch might as well dress him too.
  • usmcmp
    usmcmp Posts: 21,220 Member
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    I had this happen to me when I was married. I asked him why he didn't eat what I packed. He said that he forgot it in his car or that he didn't feel like eating it. I started providing several options for his lunches and he wouldn't take them. Eventually I gave him cash for his lunches for the month (I do the budget) and when he was out of money he got to pack his own darn lunch or go without.
  • JulieBoBoo
    JulieBoBoo Posts: 642
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    I make my husband's lunch most days. He almost always eats it and he really appreciates it. It's one of his love languages. Sure he can do it himself and some days when I'm really busy he does, but for him, my making his lunch is one of the ways he feels loved and appreciated and since it's only 5 mins out of my day I don't mind doing it.

    Now my hubby is perfectly fine with sandwiches everyday -- everyone jokes that he'd eat anything so long as you put it between two slices of bread -- but not everyone is like that. I'd ask your hubby why he didn't eat the sandwich. Maybe he's bored of them. Maybe he went out to lunch with coworkers. Maybe he got too busy.

    I'd approach it from the "I hate to see it wasted" viewpoint rather than the "it hurts my feelings" because I wouldn't want to put him on the defensive.
  • daleworley
    daleworley Posts: 40
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    before i moved into the office my ex and i had same issue...sometimes i would get a chance to go out for lunch with the guys and it was a welcome break but she took it personal when i didnt eat what she fixed so i started giving it away instead of bringing it home
  • JulieBoBoo
    JulieBoBoo Posts: 642
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    Thanks everyone!

    He says just what everyone said.....I am tired of eating sandwiches! Because he works outside sandwiches really are his only choice! So when there is a subshop etc..close by him and the guys usally eat out!

    We have talked about it and I tell him how I feel and he tells me how much he does appreciate it then I start to feeling silly thinking really it is only sandwich why I am so irked, there much bigger problems in the world than an uneaten sandwich.

    You all are right!! Thanks for the helpful insight!

    Would he use a thermos? That opens up a lot of possibilities for you both.
  • SarabellPlus3
    SarabellPlus3 Posts: 496 Member
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    My feneral rule is, if I have to ask, then no.

    I like the suggestions and your update, I'd probably just ask him in the morning if he wanted me to pack a lunch that day. :)

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