Say your 15 yr old daughter requests Birth Control

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Replies

  • Jess05071981
    Jess05071981 Posts: 44 Member
    I have had this situation happen to me first hand with my step daughter. I say if she is asking then YES. We live in a day and age where it is better to be protected from pregnancy then to just ignore the issue. Then I would also stress the importance of condoms due to STD's. The pill will not protect against those.
  • FaugHorn
    FaugHorn Posts: 1,060 Member
    Rather have a 15 year old on birth control then a grand-kid for sure

    I'd feel sad she needed it but glad she talked to me about it
  • angiesteele
    angiesteele Posts: 366 Member
    Not an ideal situation, but I prefer having my 15-year old on the pill than come home pregnant!
    Yep, I agree 100%. I know what I was doing at 15 and i was protected so i would hope every parent would rather protect there child then have to raise the consequenses.
  • MummyOfSeven
    MummyOfSeven Posts: 314 Member
    My daughter was only-just-16 when I took her to the doctor to be put on the pill.
    She had been seeing her boyfriend for a while and I knew they'd probably start having sex soon. I was right.
    A year later she moved out and moved in with him. If she wasn't on the pill she'd probably be a mother by now.
    While she'd probably make a very good mother, she's only 18 and I'd rather she had the 'having fun years' that I didn't get because my mother wouldn't allow me to go on the pill and we had an 'accident'.
  • thamre
    thamre Posts: 629 Member
    I have a 15 year old daughter and thank God she has never asked me that! She has friends that are on birth control and are sexually active, but my daughter has a good head on her shoulders. She loves kids and in fact our 17 yr old neighbor boy has a 4 month old baby she just adores, but she has said many times that she is not ready for that. Peer pressure does not get to her...she has told numerous "boyfriends" who have wanted to make out to hit the door! But, if she ever did ask, I probably would put her on them.
  • AKosky585
    AKosky585 Posts: 607 Member
    I have no kids yet, but I can honestly say that I would be glad that she came to me asking for birth control rather than going out and having sex and ending up pregnant. At least she is thinking ahead and being responsible about it.
  • ManicMelody
    ManicMelody Posts: 85
    Not an ideal situation, but I prefer having my 15-year old on the pill than come home pregnant!


    This. I started having sex when I was 16, and I was scared ****less to tell my parents. I was smart about it and used condoms, but seriously, it's better to be open about it and have a daughter who is not pregnant than one who hides it from you, then comes home with a big surprise that YOU will be helping to take care of.
  • cdngirl71
    cdngirl71 Posts: 2,641 Member
    My two nieces were 15 & 16 when they started on birth control, they weren't sexually active at all. It eased their menstral cramps and cleared up their skin as well. It was actually recommended by their doctor to go on it. Was my sister happy about it, no not at first but it helped them. One of my nieces was so irregular that she wouldn't get her period for months, now it is on schedule, LOL. So it is not always because young girls are sexually active.
  • gentsevetzak
    gentsevetzak Posts: 147 Member
    I am a parent and if my kid asked me for preservatives i'd be proud he's responsible enough to take his precautions.

    Like it or not discovering your body is a part of growing up, and kids should be able to talk openly about it with their parents.

    I really don't understand all the prudes that like to pretend like kids don't have sex, all you are going to end up with are STD-ridden teenage moms.
  • Ral263
    Ral263 Posts: 318 Member
    Since I have no daughter, I feel comfortable in saying this.

    1) buy a gun
    2) invite her boyfriend over for dinner
    3) spend the entire night cleaning and checking the site
    4) overreact
    Good thing you don't have a daughter, then. That's an unrealistic and unhelpful attitude. She would end up getting pregnant because of unprotected sex.

    Exactly. I cannot stress enough how important it is to have an open and honest relationship with your child about sex. I can tell you that every single one of my friends (and myself) who started BCP young and had an honest and open attitude towards discussing sex with their parents is so much better off for it. Those who didn't were the ones who got pregnant at age 16 because they had to sneak around and didn't take the proper precautions. Educate your child about these things, be there for them to ask advice....kids are going to have sex whether you like it or not--best to have them be safe and educated about it.
  • FaugHorn
    FaugHorn Posts: 1,060 Member
    I had a friend who made a deal with her dad...if she would wait to have sex until she got married, he would buy her a new car. It worked too!!

    I don't know, sounds like a way for your kids to marry at 18, not much of a better suggestion. Rather they have responsible sex and not get married until they were done growing up and changing, finished with school, etc.
  • coloradocami
    coloradocami Posts: 368 Member
    YES! Be thankful she asked before it was too late (and that she can talk to you about it).

    This would be a time to communicate not turn away from her. I would say "that is a brave 15 year old".
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,021 Member
    You say "I brought you into this world, and I'll take you out."

    It really bums me out that so many kids are growing up these days with parents who take the easy way out with this PC nonsense that "You can't control what your kids do." It's your job as a parent to control what they do. Parents who know how to make their kids live in fear of the consequences of screwing up don't generally have to deal with teen pregnancies, drug use, etc. You can't roll over and say "Well, they're going to do what they want, so I'll just make sure they're prepared." Fight for them every day, even if they hate you for it sometimes.
  • ajbeans
    ajbeans Posts: 2,857 Member
    I went on birth control at age 15 because I was having a ridiculously difficult time with my cycle. I didn't actually start needing the birth control aspect until I was 19 and engaged. So... I wouldn't necessarily jump to conclusions.

    But I would rather my child come to me with those things anyway. I'm going to stress the fact that I would prefer they abstain, but I'm still going to teach them about safe sex. I'm already talking to them little by little about how our bodies work, and we use the correct terminology for body parts, so that when the time comes to have these discussions it's not such a foreign and uncomfortable concept.

    Think about it: wouldn't you rather she came to you and asked you about birth control, rather than listening to locker room urban legends and trying to figure it out on her own, and then ending up pregnant because her boyfriend told her he was sterile because he was on the swimming team and chlorine kills sperm?
  • juliecat1
    juliecat1 Posts: 3,450 Member
    Not gonna lie.... mild panic struck when I read this and realized my oldest will be here before I know it! eek!
    YES! Be thankful she asked before it was too late (and that she can talk to you about it).

    But this is where I fall too. Hopefully youve had open enough communication about life and sex well before she even gets to the point of doing so. Id get her the pills.... with a long conversation attached about respecting her body, stds, etc....
  • brigitte101
    brigitte101 Posts: 20 Member
    there are other reasons why a 15 year old goes on birth control besides sex. My neice was having a real hard time with her periods. they were never regular and when she did have them she would be in bed the first 2 days with real bad cramps (which meant she missed school). Her docter recommened a low dose birth control and it help alot. Another reason is there is some birth control pills that help with acne.
  • thamre
    thamre Posts: 629 Member
    I had a friend who made a deal with her dad...if she would wait to have sex until she got married, he would buy her a new car. It worked too!!

    I am going to try this one...:laugh:
  • Bosbes
    Bosbes Posts: 55 Member
    That will be a long time from now, I´m not a mother yet.
    I would talk with her about different kinds of birth control and also about intimacy, sex and love... About discovering you body, about respect and boundaries. And I would be proud, because she takes responsibility and she feels she can talk with me.
    I don´t expect it would be a big deal.

    I really don´t understand people that say they would be angry. And I also don´t understand people who are afraid this will keep them from using a condom. You should use both. This is what causes teen pregnancy.
  • Jill_newimprovedversion
    Jill_newimprovedversion Posts: 988 Member
    Since you asked, I'll answer:

    I would not provide it for her.
    I couldn't STOP my girls from crossing lines that are drawn, but I'm not crossing it with them- much less paying for it and
    stamping my approval over it.

    I continue to teach her she is a strong, wonderful young woman with PLENTY of SELF-CONTROL
    It is NOT inevitable- She can be taught to handle her emotions and hormones

    just the same way we are learning to control our with our weight loss journey.
  • raw_sugar
    raw_sugar Posts: 87
    I'd be on the phone with her doctor to make an appt and if the risks were low (we have a family history of problems with the Pill) I'd have her on it right away, since like others have mentioned, if they're coming to you, there's a good chance they already need it or are thinking of it. There'd be a long talk of condoms and std's as well (providing I haven't already covered all that).

    I plan on having a lot of talks about delaying sex but it's true if they've made up their mind, the best you can hope for is that they are smart and protected about it.
  • WarriorMom2012
    WarriorMom2012 Posts: 621 Member
    This happened to me with my daughter but she was 14. I thought I'd been very proactive in discussing sex with my daughter. She ended up having sex a month before her 15th birthday. Although, she used protection, she was still scared of getting pregnant so she came to me and admitted what she'd done.

    We went to the gynocologist and had her tested thoroughly and put on the pill. She understands that neither the pill nor condoms are 100% effective and although I agreed to put her on the pill I was not condoning sex at 15.

    She is 17 now and has not had sex since. I think an open honest relationship with your child is key.

    Besides, I so do not want to be a grandmother yet!!
  • Sepheara
    Sepheara Posts: 208 Member
    I started birth control when I was 16 (I am 23 now). My grandmother made me go on it when I started dating, I thought it was super lame at the time, but looking back, and looking at how many teenage moms there are right now I am glad she did it.

    The fact that she is asking you for it, shows that she is educated, and trying to be smart about her relationship. Make sure she understands that birth control doesn't prevent STDs, you need a rubber for that.
  • luv_lea
    luv_lea Posts: 1,094 Member
    When I was 15, I was getting serious with a boy and my mom heard 'wind' through the rumor mill that we had done something. She didn't care...she took me and got me on the pill. I believe we were getting close to...but not there yet, so I didn't care of the whole occurance. I ended up dating him until I was 20...so really, it was the best thing she ever did. I was really too embarrassed to ask her about it, even though we were very close. She had me at age 16, so her reaction was understandable.

    If it were my daughter I'd have no problem taking her to get on BC. I'd be happy she was open with me about it and not sneaking around doing it behind my back. Furthermore, from there I would pound it in her HEAD the importance of safe sex!
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    You say "I brought you into this world, and I'll take you out."

    It really bums me out that so many kids are growing up these days with parents who take the easy way out with this PC nonsense that "You can't control what your kids do." It's your job as a parent to control what they do. Parents who know how to make their kids live in fear of the consequences of screwing up don't generally have to deal with teen pregnancies, drug use, etc. You can't roll over and say "Well, they're going to do what they want, so I'll just make sure they're prepared." Fight for them every day, even if they hate you for it sometimes.

    I'd really love to see you stop a teenager who wants to have sex from having sex.
  • MayMaydoesntrun
    MayMaydoesntrun Posts: 805 Member
    OK, as a parent, nobody wants to THINK about their child doing the deed. But come on. Some will do it anyway, no matter what you've taught them, no matter what you've told them. Because it feels good and they have no control to stop once it gets that far. That said, I'd rush her *kitten* to the doctor and get her on the pill AND make sure she understands about STD's. Just MY opinion.
  • oberon0124
    oberon0124 Posts: 10,524 Member
    I would be proud that she was that smart and that she trusted me enough to ask me that question. I would though stress to her the importance of the decision she was about to make. That is an awful big move for a fifteen year old to make. I know it is done day after day but I would stress the importance of it anyway.
  • ninjapixie87
    ninjapixie87 Posts: 124 Member
    It depends on whether SHE requested it, or her DOCTOR recommended it.

    I wish my mother had let me go on birth control for medical reasons. Instead, I had to wait until I was 18 and in college, so I could get it without her permission/knowledge. It was probably the best decision I've made for my body and my sanity.

    That being said, I wouldn't want my 15yr old daughter getting pregnant. But I wouldn't want to condone or enable sexual activity at 15, either. It would be a tough decision, and would involve some serious conversations.
  • BrettPGH
    BrettPGH Posts: 4,716 Member
    Nope. But only because there's better things out there that I trust. My daughter will be getting one of those implants that prevent pregnancy for years. I trust that more than I trust a teenager remembering to take a pill.

    Refusing to give your kids the tools to make decisions on their own doesn't stop them from making decisions on their own. It just makes them ill prepared. I won't do that to my little girl.
  • dandrews010
    dandrews010 Posts: 253 Member
    Chances are if she is asking for it then she had a long term (ish) boyfriend and/or is responsible enough to ask for it in the first place. I'd give it to her. That doesn't mean I would actively encourage her to have sex though.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    Since you asked, I'll answer:

    I would not provide it for her.
    I couldn't STOP my girls from crossing lines that are drawn, but I'm not crossing it with them- much less paying for it and
    stamping my approval over it.

    I continue to teach her she is a strong, wonderful young woman with PLENTY of SELF-CONTROL
    It is NOT inevitable- She can be taught to handle her emotions and hormones

    just the same way we are learning to control our with our weight loss journey.
    And if she doesn't practice that self-control and comes home pregnant? Are you going to kick her out?
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