Say your 15 yr old daughter requests Birth Control

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  • bloodbank
    bloodbank Posts: 468 Member
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    I'd skirt around the issue until she dropped it, because then we might get to make a super fun trip to the abortion clinic! Weeee!

    Seriously, I don't know what answer there could possibly be other than (1) make sure the sex dialogue is wide open if it wasn't already & (2) educate her about the types of birth & disease control and then help her choose which methods would best suit her.
  • benodie
    benodie Posts: 231 Member
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    I like to think I have a good relashionship with my daughter (who is 15) we talk about pretty much everything and I have always tried to answer all her questions honestly . . .so if she came to me and asked to be put on the pill I would talk to her,again, about waiting a bit longer but if she really wanted to I would go with her to the doctors . . .shes a hugely intelligent girly and I trust her to make the right decision (even though I would try and guide her against it) . . .all 15 year olds are different . .some are far too immature to make these kindof descisions . .some,like my daughter, are a bit more with it . .shes very articulate and we talk openly and honestly about everything . .hopefully that means between us we will get it right!!
  • missbp
    missbp Posts: 601 Member
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    Personally . . . I would make sure she is on it. If she is asking for it, it's highly probable that she needs it. An unwanted pregnancy is not something I want my daughter to have to live through. I would rather know that she is being sexually active using protection, then assume she is being sexually active, knowing she is not using protection.

    That's my opinion.

    M
  • jskaggs1971
    jskaggs1971 Posts: 371 Member
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    My kiddo's only 9 now, so I (hopefully) have a few years left before having to deal with it, but I'd like to think that:

    1) If my kid's honest and upright enough to ask about something that personal, that's one point in the "win" column.
    2) I'd rather have my daughter on the pill than for her make a mistake that could force her to not do all the things she want to in life.
    3) I own a shotgun and a shovel.
  • sunkisses
    sunkisses Posts: 2,366 Member
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    After reading this thread, I think I'm going to call my parents tonight and thank them for loving me enough to teach me right from wrong and that actions have consequences, rather than taking the attitude that "Kids are going to do whatever they want, so I'll just hope nothing bad happens to them." I shudder to think where I would've ended up in life if I had told my parents at 15 that I wanted to have sex and their response was to hand me some BC and a pack of condoms.

    As for the "I brought you into this world, and I'll take you out," reference, haven't you people ever heard of Bill Cosby? If not, perhaps try growing a sense of humor.

    And if being from Texas has contributed in any way to my being a responsible, intelligent, successful adult who has some courage to go along with my convictions, well, that's one more reason among many to love this great state.
    pat_self_back.gif
  • jess_blonde
    jess_blonde Posts: 229 Member
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    i'm not a parent either, but my concern would be that if she's on birth control, then guys could easily talk themselves out of using a condom. too many std's for that.

    edited to add: i think i would prefer my daughter to come home pregnant than to contract aids.

    If people would just talk frankly to their kids about sex instead of making it such a taboo topic, the kids might have enough brains in their heads to make smart, informed decisions. I'm not a parent yet but I am a nurse and I plan on being open and honest about sex so that my kids aren't blindsided and don't make (or let their significant others make) stupid decisions like no condoms without STD testing.
  • Yakisoba
    Yakisoba Posts: 719 Member
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    All of my friends that like to pretend that they can mold their children's behavior through denial, got grandkids real early.

    ^^^

    If I had kids, I'd just get it. Find out why she wants it. If she wants it for sex, be happy she's thinking about her well-being. If she wants it for other things, well.. why not?
  • Vaanja
    Vaanja Posts: 163 Member
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    My parents had two kids before they were 18. My husband had his first son when he was 17 and his girlfriend was 15. My husband's mother had him when she was 17.

    I was on birth control at 15 and had my first son when I was 23.

    My boys are 11 and 12 and are fully knowledgable about sex, birth control effectiveness, STDs, the many different ways STDs can be gotten and the prevention of such. I pray that there is a male birth-control pill available in the next few years, and I have vowed to the both of them to procure condoms for them whenever they ask, and listen to and answer any questions they might EVER have without recrimination or judgement.
  • MrsSpratt
    MrsSpratt Posts: 200 Member
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    I would let her go on birth control, without question. But I would also talk to her about the emotional side of sex and try to explain that waiting would be better for her in the long run.
  • k2quiere
    k2quiere Posts: 4,151 Member
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    My thought is if this is the first conversation you're having with your child (male or female) about sex, then you are already too late, so the BC/condoms are just a bandaid on the bigger issue.

    I had my twin girls 2 weeks after I graduated from high school. I always said that if I could keep them from getting pregnant before they graduated, then I had done my job. I started talking to them about their bodies when they were barely old enough to understand the words coming out of my mouth, and I never stopped. They know the types of protection available and the consequences of not using any. They both graduated in June, turned 18 in July, and are still virgins (for however long it lasts now) because I didn't wait to have these convos until I thought they had reached some magical age. Now, as adults, it's up to them.

    Authentic and honest communication works in all relationships, even with your children.
  • k2quiere
    k2quiere Posts: 4,151 Member
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    All of my friends that like to pretend that they can mold their children's behavior through denial, got grandkids real early.

    THIS^^^ When i had a miscarriage at 16, my mom's response, while I was hemorrhaging was "Have you and (insert BF's name) been doing something you shouldn't have been doing?" Really mom?? Brilliant!
  • Yakisoba
    Yakisoba Posts: 719 Member
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    All of my friends that like to pretend that they can mold their children's behavior through denial, got grandkids real early.

    THIS^^^ When i had a miscarriage at 16, my mom's response, while I was hemorrhaging was "Have you and (insert BF's name) been doing something you shouldn't have been doing?" Really mom?? Brilliant!

    ._. Good job, mom.
  • sunnyzephyr
    sunnyzephyr Posts: 114
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    I am not a parent, but I am a daughter and a teenager. And I would say, from a daughters perspective, that most girls are afraid to ask and will revert to unsafe alternatives. So what i would prefer, is for my parents to suggest it (for reasons like period, acne etc) so that the girls doesn't have to ask, but still doesn't get the impression that sex is "okay." Although so much of it depends on how you raise your daughter and what you have taught them about that subject.
  • sunnyzephyr
    sunnyzephyr Posts: 114
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    My boyfriends Grandmother "doesn't believe in birth control." All 4 of her children had babies out of wedlock, two had babies when they were teenagers, and one had an abortion.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    must point out that if she is needing the pill for unsex related purposes that is completely different. Irregular painful periods or acne are a totally different issue. If that was what the question was about then heck yeah I will let her take the pill... for that matter I also got her the HPV shot... why? Because I am not stupid I know that she might have premarital sex.

    So ... you're taking precautions against an STD, but you won't take precautions against pregnancy?

    That makes sense.
  • MrsSpratt
    MrsSpratt Posts: 200 Member
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    All of my friends that like to pretend that they can mold their children's behavior through denial, got grandkids real early.

    THIS^^^ When i had a miscarriage at 16, my mom's response, while I was hemorrhaging was "Have you and (insert BF's name) been doing something you shouldn't have been doing?" Really mom?? Brilliant!
    Wow. That's amazingly shiitty.

    And I agree with you: "Mom, I want to go on birth control" shouldn't be the first time the topic comes up.
  • Deathwithab
    Deathwithab Posts: 462 Member
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    most people i know were put on the pill right after they got there period , its not going to make them into any different of a person just because they are on the pill, if you raise you child with knowing about sex and the consiquences and such early then theres good chance they wont get knocked up or just give it away .
  • calibri
    calibri Posts: 439 Member
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    I was 14 when I began taking birth control. Besides regulating my cycle, my father (yes, my FATHER took me to the gynecologist to get birth control) would much rather I be smart and prepared if I decided to start having sex as a teenager and realized there was no way he could keep me from doing it if I wanted to.
  • yoshi91610
    yoshi91610 Posts: 177 Member
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    i'm not a parent either, but my concern would be that if she's on birth control, then guys could easily talk themselves out of using a condom. too many std's for that.

    edited to add: i think i would prefer my daughter to come home pregnant than to contract aids.
    not trying to start a fight, but this needs to be pointed out that your daughter could very well come home pregnant WITH an std.

    I think that shows responsibilty and reminds me that I need to have a very serious long conversation with my daughter, first telling her I am proud that she is responsible enough to tell me she wants birth control, but also inform her of all the various diseases that the pill doesn't protect you against, and then all the emotional complications that come along with sex and how it should not be a decision made quickly.
  • Improvised
    Improvised Posts: 925 Member
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    I am a parent and if my kid asked me for preservatives i'd be proud he's responsible enough to take his precautions.

    Like it or not discovering your body is a part of growing up, and kids should be able to talk openly about it with their parents.

    I really don't understand all the prudes that like to pretend like kids don't have sex, all you are going to end up with are STD-ridden teenage moms.
    Some kids don't.

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