Are you SERIOUS?!?!?! Beging Rant... ( Ladies)

JoJo_fat2fab
JoJo_fat2fab Posts: 297 Member
edited October 5 in Chit-Chat
So I was at the hair salon and this lady I haven't seem since I was pregnant (baby is 6 months now) said to me " So you gave birth huh, how's the baby, did you do it naturally?" I told her I had an emergency c-section. She look at me straight in my eyes and said "Oh you don't know what being a mother is then. You need to feel the pain"

ARE YOU ****ING KIDDING ME?!?!?!

Well I didn't want to be rude because my mommy was there, so I just explained to her what happened. That I wanted to give birth naturally and while I was in labor I started bleeding too much and the doctors needed to get the baby out before it was "too late" . My baby was born at 6:17am and I was in the OR until 12:35PM because the doctors couldn't stop my bleeding and I had ten doctors debating whether or not they were going to remove my uterus. I needed a blood transfusion (4 pints). Thank God I'm alive and well taking care of my baby and husband.

All she said was, " well maybe next time you'll know"


I really wanted to choke her...

**Sorry for the length of the story**


END RANT..
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Replies

  • arewethereyet
    arewethereyet Posts: 18,702 Member
    Giving birth does NOT make you a mommy! Neither does 'feeling the pain' Holy crikey YOu went thru a hell of a lot more pain than me!

    See, I am learning to stick up for myself. I know it is a fine line between being mean and not allowing people to make me feel small, but I am trying to find it at 50 years old.

    I wish I found it at 20!

    Today I would have said to her "I had a baby girl, her name is Snowglobe" and that would have been the end of the convo. You do not owe anyone an explanation of how you gave birth! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr this just makes me angry:angry:

    I was 23 when I had my 1st son by c-section. One of my school chums said "Oh you didn't have him naturally, when then you failed"
    My mom was with me and said "OH yeah it would have been so much better to give birth naturally to a DEAD baby!!":mad: "Mind your own business!":explode:

    Man I miss my momma:love:
  • arewethereyet
    arewethereyet Posts: 18,702 Member
    Oh and I am so glad you are ALIVE!!:smooched:
  • BloomingLily
    BloomingLily Posts: 62 Member
    Some times, people can be so stupid. Don't argue with stupid. Just put them on "mute" and move on with life. I'm glad to see Mommy and Baby are alive and well!
  • JoJo_fat2fab
    JoJo_fat2fab Posts: 297 Member
    Thanks :smile:
  • clh126
    clh126 Posts: 115 Member
    Yikes, sounds like she has a personality disorder, seriously...at the very least. Glad to know you're doing well!
  • maddymama
    maddymama Posts: 1,183 Member
    That woman has some serious issues to say that to you. What is important is that both you and your little one are alive and healthy. People who act like that woman are ignorant.
    At a later day, you may feel comfortable talking about this with her and letting her know how unconsiderate her comments were so that she doesn't offend or hurt another person.
  • VeggieFace
    VeggieFace Posts: 56
    This lady sounds ignorant and not worth your energy. Still, if it makes you feel better, next time you go to that salon if she is there and you're still bothered by this you can go up to her and tell her off now that you've had time to think about it :) Being ignorant doesn't give her the right to be rude to you.
  • JoJo_fat2fab
    JoJo_fat2fab Posts: 297 Member
    Hopefully it will take 6 more months to see her again lol, but if i see her soon I will definitely say something to her
  • Dreamer1311
    Dreamer1311 Posts: 203 Member
    So I was at the hair salon and this lady I haven't seem since I was pregnant (baby is 6 months now) said to me " So you gave birth huh, how's the baby, did you do it naturally?" I told her I had an emergency c-section. She look at me straight in my eyes and said "Oh you don't know what being a mother is then. You need to feel the pain"

    ARE YOU ****ING KIDDING ME?!?!?!

    Well I didn't want to be rude because my mommy was there, so I just explained to her what happened. That I wanted to give birth naturally and while I was in labor I started bleeding too much and the doctors needed to get the baby out before it was "too late" . My baby was born at 6:17am and I was in the OR until 12:35PM because the doctors couldn't stop my bleeding and I had ten doctors debating whether or not they were going to remove my uterus. I needed a blood transfusion (4 pints). Thank God I'm alive and well taking care of my baby and husband.

    All she said was, " well maybe next time you'll know"


    I really wanted to choke her...

    **Sorry for the length of the story**


    END RANT..

    HOLY ****! That lady must be out of her f**** mind. Thats terrible what you had to go through! Thank god you and your baby are happy and healthy now! There is truly some ignorant people out there. Words fail me
  • AJay513
    AJay513 Posts: 187
    WOW!!! Now that's just ridiculous and idiotic!! She has some MAJOR issues. You for you for not snapping cuz I sure as hell would have!
  • fit4mom
    fit4mom Posts: 1,352 Member
    It's attitudes like that, that undervalue the sanctity of life. I too am glad your OK. She has a standard she's asking you to affirm (her standard of what a mother is) I feel sorry for her kids. I may not agree with others but I don't think it's my job to push value system on others. This was wrong of her. I wish the common sense police had been around.
  • engineman312
    engineman312 Posts: 3,450 Member
    i dislike when someone is condecending because you didnt do what they did EXACTLY how they did it. i'm happy you're safe, and that your child is ok. dispite what her (and my mother) being a mother is not about pain.


    now excuse me, i have to call my mother and tell her i love her.
  • JoJo_fat2fab
    JoJo_fat2fab Posts: 297 Member
    i dislike when someone is condecending because you didnt do what they did EXACTLY how they did it. i'm happy you're safe, and that your child is ok. dispite what her (and my mother) being a mother is not about pain.


    now excuse me, i have to call my mother and tell her i love her.


    Good, tell her everyday!
  • pain_is_weakness
    pain_is_weakness Posts: 798 Member
    I agree that giving birth does not make you a mommy and neither does feeling pain. Some people are just rude, mean, cruel, ect.

    Sorry that you had to deal with her. Most women like that are not perfect mother (far from it) and they know they have messed up so they try to get their digs in anywhere they can, you know you are a mommy and only you kow what kind of mommy you are. I had a simular situation that you did but my organs shut down and my blood pressure was through the roof so i had to get a pan block, I also wanted to do it natually so if that doesn't make me a mommy to some people than so be it, but I know what kind of mommy I am so it doesn't really matter what a few women think.
  • ccarpe
    ccarpe Posts: 118
    There are only two kinds of birth that I know of and both are natural -- vaginal or c-section. It's not how the baby gets here, it's about how you love them after birth. Mine were both vaginal births, my daughter almost 20 hours but not much pain, my son barely three hours and a lot more pain. Both are a blessing from the Lord!
  • Yakisoba
    Yakisoba Posts: 719 Member
    This post made me angry and I don't even want kids.

    I wish someone would tell my mother she isn't a real mother. I dare them.
  • dlaplume2
    dlaplume2 Posts: 1,658 Member
    Sometimes it takes more strength you walk away than it actually takes to choke them.

    This is one of those times. You are blessed to be alive and have a beautiful baby too. I am sure your baby will grow up with that same kind of strength. Don't let some stupid ignorant comment get you down.

    Congrats.
  • Jill_newimprovedversion
    Jill_newimprovedversion Posts: 988 Member
    First off, thankful you're here- and you have a beautiful baby- period.

    Your first mistake was to continue the conversation with her- feeling you needed her validation.

    Don't argue with a fool.


    And the next time you see her, you can use this line:

    When YOU have another baby, can I have one of your puppies?
  • Unwrapping_Candy
    Unwrapping_Candy Posts: 487 Member
    I am pretty certain that had I been in your position that woman would have ended up injured or terrified of sleeping. There's also a chance I'd have ended up in jail for a bit, but my attorney would get me off serious charges with that whole "crime of passion; temporary insanity" thing.
  • JoJo_fat2fab
    JoJo_fat2fab Posts: 297 Member
    Thank You everyone!
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
    Aww. She's just stupid. Never mind her.
  • Jorra
    Jorra Posts: 3,338 Member
    I am continually surprised by the outrageous things people will say to others without any regard.
  • CaptainGordo
    CaptainGordo Posts: 4,437 Member
    I could see myself saying the same thing... but joking. You're sure that she wasn't joking?
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
    I've never had a baby, but holy crap... it's not like there's a zipper there! There's no way to cut through layers of muscle and not have PAIN!
  • questionablemethods
    questionablemethods Posts: 2,174 Member
    Because all the lead-up and the surgery itself weren't painful?

    That lady sounds like a real holier-than-thou nutbag. I was born via emergency c-section. Apparently my mom was very depressed afterward because she felt like a "failure" but I, for one, am quite thankful she had the procedure! :happy:

    I'm glad things worked out for you and I'm sorry that people say such stupid things.
  • dalgirly
    dalgirly Posts: 280 Member
    I've heard people say that before.

    But in all fairness, I think with a C-section you feel the pain afterwards!

    People are just ridiculous sometimes. I'm all for not feeling the pain if I don't have too!
  • vim_n_vigor
    vim_n_vigor Posts: 4,089 Member
    I had a c-section a few days after my sil naturally had her baby. 2 months later I was still in pain and she was fine. That is major surgery and painful. I am so glad you and your baby are healthy and alive.
  • ewejewel
    ewejewel Posts: 36 Member
    I was told natural childbirth meant you weren't wearing any make-up...an expression designed to shut the mouths of those who didn't give birth via cesarean or with the aid of an epidural...so if you didn't have mascara or lipstick...I'd say you had a natural childbirth....Glad you and your baby are healthy and well!!
  • k2quiere
    k2quiere Posts: 4,151 Member
    I'm with everyone else in saying that I'm glad you're well and the baby is healthy.

    I'm with Candy in saying that I'd probably be in jail for trying to help her feel what a c-section is like so that she can determine for herself from experience if the pain is worthy of being called a mother...and I would have done it with HER scissors, hoping she hadn't had them sharpened for a while. I had twins, one "naturally" vaginal and one "naturally" c-section. I felt the pain from the c-section for much longer than the vaginal birth.
  • ElizabethRoad
    ElizabethRoad Posts: 5,138 Member
    And the next time you see her, you can use this line:

    When YOU have another baby, can I have one of your puppies?
    :laugh:

    This sort of encounter is especially infuriating because you really want to say something that will counter her craziness and maybe show her what an amazingly stupid thing she just said. But you know you can't. No matter what you say it will never be satisfying because she will continue to be crazy.

    Not to accuse a total stranger of being a bad parent, but if she thinks that "being a mother" is about childbirth...
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