YOUR SO PRETTY!! ...(FOR A FAT GIRL)

misstasharenee
misstasharenee Posts: 95 Member
edited October 6 in Chit-Chat
OK .. is it just me or do you hate the term "Your pretty for a fat girl!" or "You'll be so pretty IF you loss some weight!" and my personal favorite "You can a pretty face!" - Oh so the rest of me is ugly?? Why can't I just be pretty? Is there any ladies that has gone through this? Or any guys that have told women this before?
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Replies

  • MaraDiaz
    MaraDiaz Posts: 4,604 Member
    My family used to give me the old you'd be so pretty if you lost some weight line. Really told me what matters in our society. The way a woman looks always matters more than anything else about her and her looks are entirely dependent on her weight.

    No surprise I ended up with major eating disorders for awhile.
  • TheFitHooker
    TheFitHooker Posts: 3,357 Member
    My mother in law has told me "You are too pretty to be so over weight" it pissed me off! My weight has always been a sensitive subject for me. I'm just now ok with telling people how much I weigh because I'm not longer over 200lbs, but even over weight and obese women are human and we have feelings. My MIL has never been overweight in her life maybe when she was pregnant but is that really considered overweight? She was one to lose it all after pregnancy.
  • RisyaLifsheTova
    RisyaLifsheTova Posts: 305 Member
    Ive been told I have a fuc%able face....THAT REALLY GOT UNDER MY SKIN!
  • ttalley1
    ttalley1 Posts: 2 Member
    Yea I get the "You have a pretty face" all the time and honestly I'm sick of it. Growing up I used to get the "If you walk around with your tummy sucked in your stomach wouldn't look so big" LOL but I tried not to let that get to me but of course when you're a child ya can't help but feel some type of way. But as long as we know we look good the way we ARE and the way we WILL BE, that is all that matters because society is very superficial.

    Keep ya head up ladies!!! WE ARE BEAUTIFUL ALWAYS!!! ;-)
  • TheFitHooker
    TheFitHooker Posts: 3,357 Member
    another one that get's me is my husband tells me "You're so hot now" I'm like "WTF? I wasn't before? all I did was drop weight."
  • missmarquez2u
    missmarquez2u Posts: 26
    OK HERES A QUESTION FOR YOU. I STRUGGLE WITH THIS EVERY DAY. DH SAYS IT DOESNT MATTER TO HI IF I LOSE WEIGHT AND HE " DOESNT WANT ME DOING FOR HIM" MY SIL IS SUPER AGAINST IT TOO. SUGGESTIONS ?
  • JellyJaks
    JellyJaks Posts: 589 Member
    First I have to say that this topic made me think of that old song by The Offspring "Pretty Fly For A White Guy" :laugh:

    I've actually never gotten a comment like that before. If I did, my foot would be so far up someone's *kitten* that they would taste my toe jam. My husband tells me I'm beautiful no matter what but he's supportive of my losing weight because he knows it will make me feel better about myself.
  • TheFitHooker
    TheFitHooker Posts: 3,357 Member
    OK HERES A QUESTION FOR YOU. I STRUGGLE WITH THIS EVERY DAY. DH SAYS IT DOESNT MATTER TO HI IF I LOSE WEIGHT AND HE " DOESNT WANT ME DOING FOR HIM" MY SIL IS SUPER AGAINST IT TOO. SUGGESTIONS ?

    Sister in law is just jealous, so I say keep moving forward and stuff her!
  • MaraDiaz
    MaraDiaz Posts: 4,604 Member
    Ive been told I have a fuc%able face....THAT REALLY GOT UNDER MY SKIN!

    Whoever said that sounds like a person with a very punchable face!
  • Teliooo
    Teliooo Posts: 725 Member
    Got told by my boss the other day that I have a sexy telephone voice as in I am better until you see me in real life. Not on at all.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 49,029 Member
    For some reason people think this is the "kind" way to say you're fat. Ironically people who are overweight don't take it as kind.


    A.C.E. Certified Personal Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • sheshe32
    sheshe32 Posts: 195 Member
    YUP alot...oh and im so worried about you (you know, your health) LOL Its like sure you are!! Am I an embarassment to you?? Yeah really pisses me off!!
  • springfield5780
    springfield5780 Posts: 33
    If I had a dollar for every time someone said I had such a pretty face.....:explode: And then they look at you like you are supposed to drop to your knees and thank them for their kind words......:noway: I got told one time (a compliment of course) "you would look so good if you just lost some of that weight" Oh really now?!

    And as far as the SIL oh poop on her! My hunny also tells me that it doesn't matter and yay I'm glad it doesn't but I'M GONNA! He has been very supportive and has even started consulting me on what choices he should make with his food (reason #34654 that I love him)
  • vanessaclarkgbr
    vanessaclarkgbr Posts: 731 Member
    Either I'm completely oblivious or I just naturally drift towards people who wouldn't say this sort of thing - can't believe that people think it's ok to say that sort of stuff!

    I'd say back I can fix my weight but you'll still have a vile personality, what are you going to do about that?
  • Ahluvly
    Ahluvly Posts: 389 Member
    What complete and utter twats say that to someone!

    That's like us going, eeeh you're a really nice man, I bet you can't wait for puberty to hit so you develop a normal sized "tail"!!! lol It's plain rude....and you just wouldn't say that to someone!

    If you know people like this remove them out of your life...they're toxic and you deserve positivity not critical nastiness flower!
  • Pugly1
    Pugly1 Posts: 2
    All women are beatiful and all fathers need to tell their daughters that
  • Pidders89
    Pidders89 Posts: 1,169 Member
    I've had the "you have a pretty face" and one of the worst one i will always remember:

    "aww your so cuddley" WHAT!?! DO YOU SERIOUSLY THINK THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!

    xxxxx
  • BobbyClerici
    BobbyClerici Posts: 813 Member
    The truth is fat is ugly to these people, and they are just trying to be nice in their own clumsy way.
    It's humiliating.
    My back handed "compliment" from others was "you move fast for a big guy"...lol

    Anyway, what people are really saying to us is "you're too fat!"

    That's why we're here, so let's support each other, gather our energies and work toward our fitness goals.
    You can do it!
  • seventwenty
    seventwenty Posts: 565 Member
    Only 1 proper response to this compliment

    YOU'RE SO THOUGHTFUL, FOR AN ASSH*LE!
  • sagetracey
    sagetracey Posts: 607 Member
    Kind of reverse to that...we were on a cruise with a single guy who said he was getting so desperate that he might have to start chasing fat chicks. I challenged him and asked what was wrong with us fat chicks to which he replied that he didn't think of me as a fat chick but as a friend (I am married so don't want him to think of me as anything else.)

    His initial comment was definitely thoughtless but I was p,eased he didn't see my weight as any sort of factor in our friendship.
  • BuddhaBabeee
    BuddhaBabeee Posts: 105
    Yeah it pisses me off... I used to get it all the time. "You'd be so pretty if you lost weight."
  • jbenton091011
    jbenton091011 Posts: 99
    [/quote]
    Sister in law is just jealous, so I say keep moving forward and stuff her!
    [/quote]


    What she said!!
  • ukjamie
    ukjamie Posts: 23 Member
    The truth is fat is ugly to these people, and they are just trying to be nice in their own clumsy way.
    It's humiliating.
    My back handed "compliment" from others was "you move fast for a big guy"...lol

    Anyway, what people are really saying to us is "you're too fat!"

    That's why we're here, so let's support each other, gather our energies and work toward our fitness goals.
    You can do it!

    your are so right
  • stephm112
    stephm112 Posts: 297 Member
    I've heard it so much in my life. "you have a really pretty face" its such a back handed compliment. people think theyre being nice but its so annoying. i just take it with a pinch of salt. I've been called far worse
  • mimi10453
    mimi10453 Posts: 89 Member
    My uncle used to say that to me all the time. Needless to say, I stopped talking to him for 2 years and he's never mentioned my weight since then.
  • unsuspectingfish
    unsuspectingfish Posts: 1,176 Member
    My mother and my brother used to tell me crap like that, mainly "people would want to date you if you weren't so fat". They, of course, assumed that I wanted to date anyone.
  • charlotte66
    charlotte66 Posts: 248 Member
    another one that get's me is my husband tells me "You're so hot now" I'm like "WTF? I wasn't before? all I did was drop weight."

    omg yes!! my partner says that aswell, he says omg i love your new body. ermmm wtf its not new :grumble:

    everyone used to always say the you have such a pretty face. hmm thanks! my garn used to always pinch my cheeks and say oh i can tell your putting on weight it all goes to you face :ohwell: always seemed to be on my birthday aswell! the party pooper she is :laugh:
  • beccyleigh
    beccyleigh Posts: 846 Member
    only response needed, "thank you & you'd be really attractive too as long as you didn't talk"
  • Nikki582
    Nikki582 Posts: 561 Member
    another one that get's me is my husband tells me "You're so hot now" I'm like "WTF? I wasn't before? all I did was drop weight."
    Hah. My husband accidentally dropped "When you get sexy.."
    To which I went "WHAAAAT DO YOU MEAN WHEN!>?!??!" haha
  • Olisellana
    Olisellana Posts: 22
    OK HERES A QUESTION FOR YOU. I STRUGGLE WITH THIS EVERY DAY. DH SAYS IT DOESNT MATTER TO HI IF I LOSE WEIGHT AND HE " DOESNT WANT ME DOING FOR HIM" MY SIL IS SUPER AGAINST IT TOO. SUGGESTIONS ?

    It actually shouldn't bother you that your DH tells you that he doesn't want you doing it for him. What he needs to understand that you are doing it for you. he actually is telling you that he likes and accepts you for who you are and changing is not neccessary. however, what you need to find out is if he is going to have a problem with you changing. Sometimes a change in a woman can cause a lot of headache in a relationship. I say this because I have experiance at it. My Ex-wife weighed a lot and I accepted that. Later she decided she wanted change and got surgery done to allow her to lose it because diet and exercise wasn't working. She herself couldn't handle it because other guys started looking at her in a different way and she got upset because I am not the Jeolous type of person. I went to Iraq later and she cheated on me while there. We got our divorce and I fell that by me letting her get the surgery it is kind of my fault because other guys wouldn't have looked at her the same if she didn't have it. I believe that it is going to make changes in your relationship however, I belive that they can be positive changes as long as the doors of communication are completely open and opinions are shared.
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