YOUR SO PRETTY!! ...(FOR A FAT GIRL)

My mom always told me I would be so pretty if I just lost the weight. It started around 5th grade. You would be so pretty if you just lost twenty pounts. Then.... you would be so pretty if you just lost 30 pounds. Then 50, 60 pounds.

In high school, you would be so pretty if you just lost 70 or 80 pounds. I am so pretty. And I believe it now. I feel better when I work out and I believe I am pretty. I am working on loving myself and undoing the hurt that was caused me. Don't worry about what other people say. Beauty really does come from within. Just focus on you, and you will be beautiful from the inside out!

I have gotten " You would be sexier if you lost weight...." or " your pretty for someone who is chubby.." like wow way to boost my confidence A**hole

My granddad once told me (when I was about 18) that I will never get a boyfriend if I didn't lose weight. Well, I am now married for over a year and I think I weigh less now than I did then. I think it's crazy that curves used to be strived for back in the day and now we strive for skinny. I think as long as we are healthy, that's all that should matter. Those who don't know what it is like for those of us who have a tendency to gain a pound just by looking at a piece of bread should be able to say ANYTHING about our "pretty faces/not pretty bodies" until they take the time to try to understand. So to all the haters, I say SUCK IT! We are going to appreciate our healthy bodies more than those who are naturally skinny because we had to WORK FOR IT!

Society is not a good thing. Women are told they have to fit a certain mold, and men are told that to be considered 'a man' they need to be with a woman that fits that mold. This results in women (almost all of them) feeling bad about themselves if not everything is completely perfect by societies standards, and many men pushing the women harder to fit into those standards.

It creates a truly vicious circle.

I agree that there are many truly cold, stupid, and thoughtless statements made, and I do beleive that most women are beautiful the way they are. However, I also beleive there is a point that is too much. I used to think it didn't matter at all, and then my ex got to the point where she would not get up to take care of the child as it was too hard for her, as she sat there eating halloween size bags of candy. (Sadly, thats not an exaggeration. This led to our divorce)

Humans are genetically designed to find more healthy people more appealing. Its an instinctual thing. Like it or not, we are a form of animal, and thus are subject to some instincts, of which this is one. I just think that anymore 'healthier' is misinterpreted as 'skinnier', which is not the case, and leads to people who already weigh the perfect amount struggling to turn into stick-figures to fit into societies standards.

I do tell my wife that she looks amazing, that the workout's are really working well for her, and that I see a huge difference in how she looks, and that I like the changes. I firmly beleive that she takes this as a compliment, which is exactly what it is. It seems that many people posting here are taking anything said at all as being against them. While I hope that she isn't trying to make this change for me, it is making her feel much better about herself, healthy ,and just happy in general. If she chooses to do something with all those positive effects for her because she thinks it will make me happy, then so be it. Its actually making her happy, so who am I to argue? The truth is she does look better, but that honestly has nothing to do with weight. She is much happier now. To me happiness is also a beautiful thing. She has that beautiful glow that some people get now that she is a happier, healthy person in general.

Like it or not, after working out almost every day for a year and watching your diet, you are going to look better then you did before. If you want to argue that point, why are you doing it at all? Now, before you answer that bear something else in mind. What society says is perfect and beautiful is not what I am talking about here. I am talking about healthy, and healthy IS beautiful in everything except for when you are hiking in the woods and the wonderfully healthy, yet hungry grizzly bear smells the sandwich in your backpack.

Perhaps some of those that say you have a pretty face are actually just complimenting you? I am not suggesting that all are, as I am sure many do mean it as a demeaning, cold statement, but I have to ask this question as well.

If someone comes up to you and says, 'I really love those shoes!' do you take that to mean that they are in fact telling you that everything else you are wearing should be burned to prevent anyone from ever having to see it again, or do you take that to mean that they like your shoes?

Sorry for the little bit of a rant, its just rough to watch the mob attack some of those who I am sure were actually intending to be complimentary. Again, that is only some of them. Many more of them are obviously just being an *kitten*. . .

Yes and it is frustrating. I know they mean well, but if they stopped and thought about that they were saying, they would realize it's actually pretty rude to say to a person. I just put up a recent picture of myself on facebook (after losing 52 lbs since anyone has seen me) and I was overwhelmed by how many people commented on that one picture. "I barely recognized you!" "You look amazing now!" I appreciate the compliments but did I really look that repulsive before?

True beauty comes from within a person. . There are people out there with the rockin body, that are totally ugly inside. .So never mind people that make comments like that. . That's just mean!!!:flowerforyou:

Only 1 proper response to this compliment

YOU'RE SO THOUGHTFUL, FOR AN ASSH*LE!

HA! There Shud Have Been A Like Button!!!! LIKE!!!! lol

The answer to this is easy .. hon you are doing this for yourself ... you have to want it for yourself .. in saying that support is nice
Keep your head up high and keep going .. you can do it!

I was once trying on a sweater that was too tight and I said to my hubby, "I need to lose some weight". In his most loving way he says, "What man wants to drive a little car when he can drive a truck?!". I didn't know whether to hug him for attempting to compliment me or smack him for obvious reasons. Oh well, I love him for TRYING to raise my self esteem.

I've heard this often as well (such a pretty face!) but it doesn't bother me. The one that did was what my mom used to say - being smart is better than being pretty. Thanks mom.

OMG...your mother and my grandmother sound just alike. My sister was the pretty one and I was the smart one.

OK HERES A QUESTION FOR YOU. I STRUGGLE WITH THIS EVERY DAY. DH SAYS IT DOESNT MATTER TO HI IF I LOSE WEIGHT AND HE " DOESNT WANT ME DOING FOR HIM" MY SIL IS SUPER AGAINST IT TOO. SUGGESTIONS ?

Sister in law is just jealous, so I say keep moving forward and stuff her!

Absolutely agree 100% stuff her in a garment bag!

OK HERES A QUESTION FOR YOU. I STRUGGLE WITH THIS EVERY DAY. DH SAYS IT DOESNT MATTER TO HI IF I LOSE WEIGHT AND HE " DOESNT WANT ME DOING FOR HIM" MY SIL IS SUPER AGAINST IT TOO. SUGGESTIONS ?

1) As far as DH is concerned Lose weight for YOU not for him...

Does it not matter to him or does he prefer that you DON"T lose weight?

If it truly doesn't matter to him I see that as very supportive... that he loves and respects you as a person regardless of outer shell.
If you do the hard work of getting fit for yourself then it's all good.
If you lose weight "for him" and not yourself you might feel restricted by him or feel as though you don't measure up in his eyes. And that's a really horrible way to feel.

I rekindled with an ex of mine from college. I'd lost a few pounds before we reconnected (I still weighed more than I wanted to never told him I had weighed even more than I did then). After we were going out for a while I realized he had a problem with my weight. And knowing that that completely stall out any progress I was making. I literally couldn't do it for him and his attitude some how prevented me from doing it for me as well. The fact that he viewed me as "less than" because I was overweight... made me resentful. i guess I wasn't going to reward him with a skinny me, even if it punished myself in the process.

Anyway, when we broke up he mentioned my weight as one of the reasons. And as soon as I was back to doing it for me I dropped 30 lbs.

2) And for SIL
None of her business. She doesn't get a say. Why would she be "SUPER AGAINST IT" Does she have her own issues she's in denial about.

You deserve to live a healthy life. You deserve to feel fit and energetic and fabulous. Why would she want any less than happiness for you?

You'd be so pretty if you lost weight-
Tell them, I can fix fat, but, you can't fix *kitten*


Andddd on top of that- YOU are ALL Gorgeous!!! F them ALL!!!!

another one that get's me is my husband tells me "You're so hot now" I'm like "WTF? I wasn't before? all I did was drop weight."

I kinda feel bad for guys in this situation... because for me its hard to not automatically think like that when my husband gives me any compliment. Like the other day he said my butt felt perkier...and my first thought was like "as compared to what, a saggy butt, so my butt was saggy!?!" .... I think sometimes our mindset needs some adjusting too while losing. LOL

There is a total acceptable way to say things though, even just a "Baby you're looking so good" Or a "I'm so proud of you, you're just smoking." You do not have to kick at the fat, especially after telling me flat out that he was not attracted to me when I was 250lbs I get it, I know he wasn't, but then going as far as saying he was thinking about divorcing me over my fat, doesn't help. And when we got into a huge fight 2 weeks after I started my weight loss, and he called me a fat *kitten*, yeah those things don't help. I'm losing my weight for myself. Now he is scared that I'm going to leave him when I get to my goal. I have told him if I was going to leave him, I would have done it a long time ago my fat isn't keeping me with him. Yes I've dropped 75lbs, but I did it, not him or his rude remarks, I'm an emotional eater, but have trained myself to use exercising for my emotion outlet. I'm still considered "Fat" I have about 50lbs to go before I reach my goal. I have 30 before I'm considered Average weight. There are way's to compliment someone without making them feel that while they were/are fat they are less of a person.

Girls always tend to over analyze stuff, and I know this because I do it too!!! If someone tells you that you have a pretty face, than more than likely they think you have a pretty face, plain and simple. If someone tells you that you have a pretty face, and you think they're calling you fat, than more than likey you're over analying the situation with your own insecurites about yourself.