Baby help! Going a bit crazy!
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A little known book called Baby Wise is what I used on my 2nd 3rd and 4th.
Unfortunately I let the first child wear me out!:noway:
Good luck:flowerforyou:0 -
I didn't read through all of the posts so I don't know if any of this was said already but here's my experience:
My daughter was about 2 1/2 months old when I moved her into her own room, in her crib, and for the same reason you did (she was shaking the bassinet when she kicked or moved). I started by putting her there for naps, let her get used to the room and the crib, get her smell in there. Then moved on to the nights after she was taking good, long, naps in her crib. I have also heard that putting your pillow case (yours, not your husbands) in her crib will also help her to relax and sleep better. Do you swaddle the baby?- also try that.
It may take a little while for the baby to get used to being apart from you but (and I KNOW it's hard, I know how exhausted you can get) do not take her back into your bed, she'll just realize you're going to give in and keep crying until she gets what she wants-to sleep with yall. Try rubbing her back, patting her butt (if she's rolling over and sleeping on her tummy). you may need to start forcing a schedule on her. Only allowing her to nap every 2 hours, and bedtime at the same time every night. Baths sometimes help to relax them, as well. If all else fails, you may need to rock her to sleep for a while
My daughter is now 9 1/2months old and has slept in her crib for naps and bedtime ever since. Of course it's different for every baby and I concider mine to be a pretty easy baby to please so I may not be of much help
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I HAD A SIMILAR ISSUE AND I DID WHAT WE ARE ARE TOLD NOT TO DO, LET MY SON SLEEP IN MY BED
I AM NOT SUGGESTING THIS BUT I FELT AS I HAD NO CHOICE. WHENI PUT HIM IN THE BASSINET OR THE CRIB WE ALL LOST, HIM, MY HUSBAND AND I. HE WOULD ONLY SLEEP IN OUR BED. I NEVER KNEW HOW COULD SUCH A TINY THING KNOW WHERE HE IS SLEEPING? I WAS THINKING HOW COULD A NEWBORN KNOW THE DIFFERENCE? I STILL DONT KNOW BUT THEY DO!
SORRY I HOPE SOMETHIN GWORKS FOR YOU
MY HUSBAND AND I WOULD SLEEP WITH THE BABY AND HE WAS A FIRST TIME PARENT SO HE WAS SUPER PARANOID ABOUT ROLLING ON THE BABY OR SOMETHING, AND I WAS ERY CATTIOUS I AM A LIGHT SLEEPRER SO WE DID THE "WRONG"THING AND IF I HAD TO DO IT AGAIN, I HONESTLY WOULD. MY SON SLEPT WITH US. I TRIED ALL OTHER SUGGESTIONS BY THE DOCTOR AND OTHERS BUT NONE OF THOSE WORK...
GOOD LUCK DEAR0 -
i would hold or rock my son, and he seemed sound alseep i would swaddle him, wrap him well and snug
as soon as i laid him in that bassinet about 10 mins later he was up.
i tried the cirb, same result. after a month of extreme fatigue and restless nights i let him sleep in my bed
when he slept in my bed he slept 4-5 hours0 -
Yeah, I agree with the other posters on it being too soon to expect a baby to be able to settle themselves down to sleep. I don't know if you're breastfeeding, but if so, I just found for myself anyway, that the co-sleeping route was the easiest. Not only did I not have to physically get up to go get the baby from his bassinet, I would just put a couple receiving blankets on top of the fitted sheet so I could just breastfeed when needed. It just became a natural rhythm where he would pretty much feed off of me himself while I slept beside him. Along with having a baby, I think it's just instinctual for parents to sleep lighter and be aware of baby being there. From what I have read, the horror stories of babies being rolled on in bed usually involves a parent under the influence of a drug or alcohol inducing a heavier sleep.
A book that was a HUGE lifesaver in this department for me is "The Baby Sleep Book" by Dr. William and Dr. Martha Sears.0 -
I bought something called a nap nanny for my daughter when she was that young. She was on the small side, so I think the crib just felt too big for her. The nap nanny is an incline wedge that she slept on for several months and she did great in it. Slightly expensive, but worth it especially since I am sure you are needing sleep. I got it at Babies R Us.0
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whoops posted twice
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I hate to suggest this.
Some people think it's "bad mommy" but does she take a pacifier? That's why I did if things got really bad.
It's better than a thumb. You can take away the pacifier but not her thumbs...0 -
I have to say... at two months, you should just hold her and love her and hold her and love her until she gets to sleep and work on sleep training later. A child this young absolutely does not have the mindset to manipulate you. What she craves is human affection and an attachment to you-which she will gain by you holding her a lot. Enjoy her and hold her as much as you can now-before long, she won't want you because she'll want to explore!!
THIS^^^0 -
My dd slept in her swing until about 6 months and then took the crib well. Try napping her there first to let her get used to it during the daylight hrs.0
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I was in your boat. This book saved my life! OK. That's an exaggeration. But I followed this guy's advice (after a friend steered me to him), and my kids became AWESOME sleepers. Still are. Hang in there. It's a hard time, in that way. But it does change and improve.
http://www.amazon.com/Healthy-Sleep-Habits-Happy-Child/dp/0345486455/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1324104519&sr=8-10 -
Check out the "No Cry Sleep Solution" book. I strongly strongly suggest against the Cry It Out method. I haven't come across this problem yet personally. My son is 9 months old and we co sleep. It works best for our family, especially with him still needing to breastfeed in the night a little bit. Good Luck!:flowerforyou:0
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I have to say... at two months, you should just hold her and love her and hold her and love her until she gets to sleep and work on sleep training later. A child this young absolutely does not have the mindset to manipulate you. What she craves is human affection and an attachment to you-which she will gain by you holding her a lot. Enjoy her and hold her as much as you can now-before long, she won't want you because she'll want to explore!!
THIS^^^
I also like this post.0 -
If you had never read any parenting books or had any advice from anybody, what would your gut instinct be? Go with that. We were warned with both of our boys that we'd make life hard for ourselves if we didn't let them cry it out but we decided that they're not little for long so if they wanted to be rocked or fed to sleep or to sleep in our bed then that was obviously something they needed and our oldest was self settling in his cot at 4 months and sleeping through. My youngest sleeps on his stomach and has done since day 1 because he wakes himself up waving his arms around any other way, so maybe that's something you could try? You'll find what works for you as a family and as you get more confident you'll learn to filter out the advice that doesn't suit your parenting style. Good luck with it!0
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If you had never read any parenting books or had any advice from anybody, what would your gut instinct be? Go with that. We were warned with both of our boys that we'd make life hard for ourselves if we didn't let them cry it out but we decided that they're not little for long so if they wanted to be rocked or fed to sleep or to sleep in our bed then that was obviously something they needed and our oldest was self settling in his cot at 4 months and sleeping through. My youngest sleeps on his stomach and has done since day 1 because he wakes himself up waving his arms around any other way, so maybe that's something you could try? You'll find what works for you as a family and as you get more confident you'll learn to filter out the advice that doesn't suit your parenting style. Good luck with it!
I warn against any suggestion to put your baby to sleep on their belly - this has been shown to increase the risks of SID's and while it is a personal choice, the risk needs to be understood.0 -
Our son went through a nightmare sleeper phase at about the same age, i had friends and others encouraging us to let him cry himself out, but he never did he just cried until we gave in. We decided not to bother with the self soothing so young and let him feed or just cuddle with us until he fell asleep. It was so much easier and peaceful..especially since they are only tiny and cuddly for such a short period of time.
He is now 6 months old and he can put himself to sleep in his cot with no problems, so figure out whats best for you and dont worry about the fear of spoiling them or letting them manipulate you. Enjoy all the quiet cuddly times because they grow out of that sooo quickly.
Good luck.0 -
I have 5 kids, and we went through this.
Ear Plugs!
When I put a baby down for nap, that's it.
No negotiation, no reprieve and no parole. Nap Time!
They've been fed, changed and held, and now it's time to take your nap.
Down goes baby, and in my ears go the plugs. Cry all you want - as loud as you want.
We either train our kids or they train us.
Just because one is tired of holding baby doesn't mean baby has been held enough to feel secure.
Just saying.
Oh, and I have five also. And 10 nieces/nephews that I helped with-a LOT. And numerous other cousins, great niece/nephews, etc.
Seriously-healthy attachments are formed by you responding to your baby and them learning through this response that they can count on you! I want my children to rely on me, so I've never been afraid to hold them until they were ready to be put down.
I was not theorizing. My kids - all 5 - are out of that stage and doing very well. No geeks, wimps, medicated drones, psychos, weaklings or depression cases. And I do NOT want my kids relying on me; they need to learn to rely on themselves.
What we did worked, and if people want to know what works, look to those who've already been there and achieved success.
I saw plenty of what does not work with wimpy parents raising a whole generation of obese, medicated underachievers.
Nope!
Kids deserve more than that.0 -
Controlled (or in this thread, uncontrolled) crying 'works' because the baby gives up trying to communicate when no-one responds. Beating your naughty kid until they are too terrified of you to ever do the wrong thing also works. That doesn't mean it is right.
The info I was referring to earlier:
http://www.aaimhi.org/inewsfiles/controlled_crying.pdf0 -
this is a very controversial topic, as EVERYONE has different methods. At 2mths they are still getting use to the outside world, they want to be in your tummy where it was nice and warm and tight and food was plentiful.
Have you tried wrapping her? tuck her arms down tight, so she feels secure and in your belly. Maybe try stroking her face when she's in her cot, around her eyes and forehead. At this age they actually have to learn to fall asleep and it's difficult for them to understand that.
At the end of the day, you find something that works for you and you feel comfortable about it. Don't stress out (easier said than done). It's about you and her (and daddy) take a deep breathe and start again. It's difficult when your tired and grumpy yourself, but if you need a breather, take it, it wont hurt her to cry a little longer so you can take a few breathes.
Good luck and enjoy it 0 -
Baby Whisperer is a really good book. It's about making baby independent but not as extreme as other books that I won't mention. It;s a long time since I read it now, but I vaguely remember you pick the baby up and soothe, pat their back etc, whisper shhh and once they are calm put them down. Keep repeating. For as long as it takes. Which could be a while! But, they are getting used to being put down to fall asleep by themselves but not left crying it out and getting distressed. I think it worked really well with my first child who was sleeping peacefully through the night at 12 weeks. Second baby, it all went out the window, I was too tired to read books or use concepts, therefore he slept in his cot in our room til he was a year old. It probably is coincidental but he didn't sleep through the night for about 18 months!0
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I haven't read all the replies, but at her age I would say give her the only thing she has known- you. Babies only know one thing for a very long time. That is that they NEED YOU. All they have ever known is being in your tummy or in your arms. Babies cries are meant to be responded to. Try rocking her or nursing her to sleep and then laying her in her crib. Is the crib in your room? Keep her close so that she knows you're there for her.
My son just turned one, and has slept with me since day one. Sometimes its a pain, but it's so much better than letting him cry. He has an intense need for physical contact. Someday I know he wont want to cuddle or hug, so I will deal with the inconvenience
now.
Im not necessarily suggesting you cosleep. It isn't for everyone, and if you don't feel comfortable you shouldn't do it. You should give her all the love and attention you can though, you can't possibly spoil a baby at this age.0 -
here are my thoughts...I have had 5 babies, my other child we adopted when he was a teenager, and have fostered babies and children...
Your baby is too little to let her cry it out....she is still in the early stages of her life where responding to her crys is upmost important for her mental well being....believe me, i have fostered children that had not had those needs met, they become adults with huge issues
that being said, i am a stickler for sleep
put her in her crib thru the day...to nap and to play so she becomes famiiar with it and it becomes a safe, fun place to be...
if she will sleep in the bassinet without any issues, put the bassinet in her room, right by her crib...do this for about a week, so she gets used to being in by herself
keep a "lovey" with her at all times...a blanket, a stuffed animal...whatever...this will become her security blanket that she will use to self soothe...keep it with her when she is awak playinh, being fed, napping, in car seat, stroller, etc....
also, the shock of the cold sheet against her little head when you go to lay her down can wake her....warm the spot where her head goes with a heating pad...take pad away before she lays down on a nice cozy sheet
Hope this helps....
also..maybe she needs more food during the day...up her feedings to another .5 ounces in each bottle, since she is a growing girl...
I like my sleep, I didn't sleep with any of mine in my room with me after 6 weeks...but I also disn't care where they slept as long as the slept thru the night...my youngest wanted her pack and play to sleep in until she was 4 (she is a tiny little thing)....so she had her bed and the pack and play at the end of the bed....it worked for her and us....she was safe, happy and slept!
Do what works for you and your family, you are the one living thru it...at the end of the day raising a happy healthy loving person is what matters, not where or how the slept....0 -
I have 4 kids and have heard all different kinds of advice on this topic. I hate to her a newborn cry, because it makes me feel bad, so I pick them up and bring them to bed with me. I read a book once and it had some good points, your baby has been next to you for months in your belly, she doesnt want sleep by herself , she wants the warmth of your body...In times way back children slept with their parents, why put your baby all the way across the house , I personally dont hear my baby cry when Im in a deep sleep, but my husband does. Bottom line enjoy the cuddling time now, you will never get it back, you and your husband will have lots of time for "togetherness" when your kids are grown up. If you really would rather her/him to sleep in their crib, it will take some training , and she will get used to sleeping in her crib..it is safer there ..like she cant fall out like she can in your bed. Swaddling might help , if this is your 1st one , take advice ffrom parents who have been thru this . My daughter is 9 months old and I may put her to sleep in her crib but she ends up with me in the morning..i love sleeping with her but thats me, good luck!0
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Routine is one thing, but abandoning an infant (of only a few months old) in a bed to just 'cry it out' because the parent decides it's nap time, is just not in MY books of parenting. Babies that young are fussing because of how they are feeling .. not because they know how to manipulate.
There could be a few reasons why an infant fusses when put into a crib. 1st and foremost, you have to make sure your baby is not suffering from any sort of medical condition or even indigestion. 2ndly .. Infants are extemely sensitve to environment. Remember, they just came from a dark, warm and soft place. The contrary openness/coldness of the room, the firmness of the mattress or even lighting may be disturbing. You may find it helpful to invest in a crib devices that you can install that plays nice relaxing music with a nitelight to help sooth a fussy baby. Pacifying with a soother or even a ultra soft blanket next to their skin may do the trick. I've even heard of wrapping a baby very snuggly in a blanket to mimick the feeling of being in the womb. I've seen even just that work when nothing else does. You have to experiment and find what soothes your own baby.
And don't forget they are also very senstive to your own emotions and 'vibes'. If you are feeling stressed or tense while you are putting the baby to bed, they will react. If you are tense or nervous .. so are they.
In any event, I wish you all the best. You will work it out.0 -
Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child - Dr. Marc Weissbluth.
Every parent should have a copy of this book. It details what sleep pattern to expectat each age, newborn to teenagers. It teaches how to sleep train and when, possible problems that could arise and how to deal with them. And how many hours of sleep each age needs at night and during naps, etc.
Seriously, everyone can benefit from this book. And I also love the swaddler sleep sacks. Keeps them snug. :-)
Your baby is acting very typical for her age. At least you know its normal. :-)
The book also offers alternative methods: crib sleep or family bed, and when babies are older he advises according to preferred sleep training method: parent soothes to sleep, controlled crying, cry it out, etc. Children need sleep, sleep deprivation can cause a host of problems, educational and behavioral, and this doctor specializes in making sure children consistently get enough sleep.
And if Mama gets enough sleep, the whole day goes a lot better for everyone.
If you are experiencing any post partum depression, getting some sleep will make a world of difference. I've been there. Enlist family or friends if you need to.0 -
I think snuggles are the best way since your little one is so young still. I don't like the cry it out thing at such a young age. Try as one other poster said crib naps and random play in the crib and if you can use your pack in play at night so the babys closer by. I did that untill my sons were 6 months. Start a soothing routine. Bath if it dosnt wake baby up, lotion massage, singing, maybe walk around with baby just talking to them for 10 mins before bed. Whatever makes baby happy and calm. Good luck to you. You will find a way that works best for everyone.0
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my sisters baby is the same. They tried everything but nothing worked. So finally they just bought a bigger bed and the baby sleeps with them now.0
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I never said you (or anyone else here) was a crack *kitten*. I was relating the anecdote of "CIO worked for me" to anecdotes of where a bad parent produced good results.Be VERY wary of any book or "doctor" or anecdotes about people who "trained" their 3mo to sleep through the night. They didn't. What they did was train the baby that no one is there for them and they are on their own. The baby gave up on having their needs met. It's cruel. Oh sure, some kids will be just fine. Some kids of crack *kitten* go on to be college graduates too. That doesn't mean a crack *kitten* is a good mother.
Babies don't "cry just to cry" anymore than an adult cries just to cry. It's their only means of communication. They can't scratch their leg if it itches or say "Mommy, my tummy hurts." That doesn't mean they need to co-sleep or even sleep in the same room. Neither of our boys did. I tried to co-sleep with kid1 for 2 nights. I didn't get a bit of sleep. Everythiem hubby or baby moved I jolted awake. I was worried I'd roll onto him, hubby would roll onto him, the cat would jump up on him, the blanket would smother him, etc. By the 3rd day I was disoriented and borderline hallucinating I was so exhausted. I put him in his crib that night and we all slept much better after that.
my 3 month old slept from 12am- 7am daily and i am not a "crack *kitten*". :laugh:
If your 3mo slept from 12-7 that's wonderful! If he/she woke at 4am and you ignored them to let them CIO that's not even close to good and it's also not the same as sleeping through the night.0 -
I haven't read the replies yet, and im sure this has been said...
but OH MY GOSH! she's a BABY! LOVE on her. pick her up. rock her. come on now....why would you let a 3 month old cry them self to sleep when clearly shes terrified of that crib!?
right now, at this age, you are only teaching her that when she needs her mommy, you will just ignore her.
sounds harsh, but its true in my completely honest opinion.0 -
I haven't read the replies yet, and im sure this has been said...
but OH MY GOSH! she's a BABY! LOVE on her. pick her up. rock her. come on now....why would you let a 3 month old cry them self to sleep when clearly shes terrified of that crib!?
right now, at this age, you are only teaching her that when she needs her mommy, you will just ignore her.
sounds harsh, but its true in my completely honest opinion.
They're only little for so long. soon theyll be wanting to go off and do their own thing and youll wish you had taken advantage of the late night cuddles with your little one.0
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