Parents Please Wake Up

I agree because my mum over fed me and my siblings until we were all obese. Not 'bad' food just WAY TOO MUCH. That being said, i now have a 2 yr old and a 12 week old and my 2 yr old is so fussy atm. I'm grateful when she eats anything, i don't care what it is. Sometimes it's harder then it seems

I agree. My son barely eats chicken nuggets. I try to feed him healthy, but I rather he eat something than starve.

Also, my uncle did not let his kids drink soda at all when they were growing up unless at their friend's brithday parties, and then, only clear soda. He also never let them have snacks. Now, they are 13 and 14, and they sneak in soda and treats into their house. They take treats from my grandmother's or their friends' houses, stuff them in their coats, and hide them in their room. If he would have let them eat these things once in a while, they would not be sneaking all these things now, and it makes me wonder, what else are they going to try to sneak in because of this?

what about the parents that don't have access to a grocery store? or, if there's one close by, they have to take their 5 kids under the age of 10 on the bus (which costs money) and transfer a few times? or, if there's no money for the bus, they have to walk 3 miles in the snow with their kids because there's no babysitter? or, if there's a babysitter available, how are they going to pay for it when they don't have a job and are on food stamps?

perhaps there's not a grocery store nearby, but a convenience store that sells canned junk? that's where most of the people that i work with do their GROCERY shopping.

junk food keeps kids fuller longer. for me, a big mac meal is going to keep me fuller than a piece of fish and some vegetables. parents buy their kids junk food in the area i work with BECAUSE of this. if they have a set amount of food stamps - let's say 500 a month, because that seems to be the average around my area for a family of 5 (an adult and 4 kids) - junk food is simply going to fill them up longer. many of the families i work with, who are absolutely destitute - once that food stamp money is gone, that's it. i had a mother tell me she was going to go sell plasma to try to get her child a nice Christmas dinner. my hubby and i easily spend 400 a month on food for the two of us, and we mainly buy generics and on sale.

and activity, sure. what about the gangs that shoot people? around here, that's pretty normal. or people who just mug you on the street. there are rec centers, but they cost money to enroll. most parents that i work with don't want their kids outside unless they're home.

education is key here. parents simply need to be educated on the choices for their kids, and access to nutritious foods needs to be improved, particularly in urban areas. and calling this child abuse? no. i work with kids who have been raped by their fathers, had the crap beaten out of them, neglected, been crack babies, etc. that's abuse. this is simply lack of education and lack of access to nutritious foods. unless you've been in this situation (maybe you have, i was just too upset to read through the whole thing) don't bother calling it abuse.

/gets off soapbox

ABSURD!
No wonder America has become the fattest nation on Earth.

We excel at making excuses.

I don't take offense to the original post and I also don't find it annoying. It's clearly an emotional thing for her to discuss with us. She feels upset and I don't blame her. Parents do influence their children's eating habits. They don't control every aspect of their child's eating, but they do set the tone (and, as others have posted, parents can also be too restrictive). As a parent who frequently does buy fast food, my personal perspective is that not all fast food is created equal... not to mention, there are other things to consider like portions... how much sugar the children are eating... how much activity the children are getting... and how they are being nurtured, emotionally.

That said, being a parent is really difficult. Particularly if you are struggling to get by, financially, or a single parent. Parents are sometimes choosing the lesser evils in the moment, as they struggle to find stability. I do think the post, upset and all, was well-intended though and makes a great point - as a parent, be a "conscious eater" for yourself and your children. And if you aren't educated on the subject of food, it's a good goal to work towards.

WELL SAID!

My daughter will be 3 this Christmas Eve and is a picky eater. If it was up to her, she would survive on Chicken Nuggets and French Fries. I would never allow that. I make sure she gets her veggies and fruits, and fresh, home made meals daily. Does she get Mcdonald's as a SPECIAL treat once in a great while?? Sure! Because it is a special TREAT, not a means of feeding my child once a week. I dont agree with complete deprivation of junk foods, thats how binging starts. She gets candies and Mcdonald's but as a once in a while type thing. I am morbidly obese desperately trying to lose weight and be healthy to be a positive role model for my daughter. I also am very poor and if I can afford to cook at home, so can everyone else. Healthy eating habits are formed within the first 5 years of life. to those who say it is the children who form their choices, you have seriously got to be kidding me. A 1 year old has say in what they are fed? Probably freakin' not.Yes, kids can be picky eaters and thats fine, that is completely NORMAL. But just remember, you dont need to constantly CATER to their requests of Chicken strips for every single meal. A child will NEVER go hungry! If they are hungry enough, they will eat what is given!! We, as a nation, have to change the way we have been programmed into filling our bodies full of saturated fats and gorging on unbelievably large portions, and it starts by educating our children, RIGHT NOW.

Amen. They'll eat if they're hungry...which is also why we never force my nephews to finish what's on their plates.

Good luck on your journey.

I have a REALLY picky eater at home too. She's 9, and is NOT an adventurous eater. However, she's picky in an extremely weird (at least I think so) way. She doesn't eat many of the "kid staples" a lot of us grew up on. Peanut butter sandwich? No way. Pizza? Only cheese, with no sauce. Hamburgers? No Thanks. Mac and Cheese? Only once in a great while.

She loves fruit, steak, pork chops, and chicken, broccoli, white and brown rice, and (strangely) Tofu. She'll eat fish, sometimes -- mostly farm-raised salmon, but she doesn't like the stronger flavor of wild salmon.

Sure, she loves the usual junk foods, chips, hot dogs, french fries, but even then, she's just not a big eater.

Our biggest problem is getting enough calories with good nutrients in her in the first place. However, we're chary of telling her "eat, eat", because control issues over food, especially with girls, can lead to later eating disorders, IMO. Anyhow, kids are weird.

Fast food is cheaper than cooking at home if you have 2 or less people to feed, 2 Double Cheeseburgers and 2 Fries are only $4, or used to be. not defending anyone, just saying.

it would cost less than $4 to make 2 cheeseburgers at home, and they could have less fat, more veggie toppings, and the burgers would be thicker. Sure, you'd have leftover buns which can be frozen for later, and you'd have leftover cheese to use in other dishes, but the cost of just those 2 burgers and fries would be less.

And you could subtract the gas $ spent driving to get the fast food, unless you never go to the grocery store for other things, but you know you do.

Seriously you can make burgers for $4? Bloody hell our food is damn expensive on this side, decent patties would cost you $7.5 and that excludes the toppings, buns and basting

Yes. Lean ground beef is about $4 a lb. So $2 for meat for 2 quarter lb burgers.

But unless you have a coupon or there is a special running you will not get a 2 fast food burgers and fries for $4. And if you start talking about decent sized burgers in a restaurant, well then you are talking closer to $20.

That's simply not true. Currently on McDonalds Dollar menu: McDouble cheeseburger=$1.00. Small Fries=$1.00 Two McDoubles and two small fries = $4.00. No coupon needed and it's the current, non-special, pricing directly from McDonald's website. It's a bad choice, but it is a meal for two for $4.00, as stated, and your meal with it's $2 for just the patties will cost more in money and in time. It's more than possible for someone to be unable to afford your healthy alternative and be able to afford meals from the various fast food dollar menus. In fact, that is the problem in a nutshell. It's just not feasible for some people to eat these healthy alternatives. We do need to avoid being judgmental about the difficult choices we're all having to make in these troubled economic times.

Young or old we eat what we want. Filling the refrig with fruits, vegs, low fat whatever, Isn't going to stop school trading and just plain not eating. How healthy is not eating at all? Children are influenced more out of the house then in. It's called fitting in or finding persons like themselves. At any age we can decide when we want to control how much we eat 14 or 40. Blaming other people for our own choices is like saying we are not in control of ourselves. "Only I can hurt me, should I choice". Power, will and choice are ours to control.

LOL I guess we'll have to agree to disagree then. I think parents play a HUGE role in how there children eat. Yes, they may not eat the most nutritiousness stuff when they are around, but parents still control what goes on the dinner table and what they serve them for breakfast, snacks, etc. And when a parent teaches a child about good nutrition and teaches a kid to make healthy food choices it has lasting effects.

Growing up I ate what my parents made. I have always been chubby. When I went into foster-care I had a home with a Boulder-ite, she fed me mostly fruits and vegetables, soda and candy, fast food, the “Average American Diet” was not allowed in her house. She walked in the morning a few times a week and I had to go with her, and after school she put me into sports, soft-ball and basket-ball when the other was off season. I lost a lot of weight while I was with her and felt really good. After my mom got her act together I was allowed to move back in with her, thus taking on her lazy life style and eating habits. I went from 120 lbs to 220 lbs in less than a year. I never made the connection when I was a kid; I never understood I just thought it was the way things were.

As an adult I have changed my lifestyle, and my children are both very thin. They are allowed to eat whatever is in the house, whenever they want to, as much as they want. My son Collin prefers apples and pears as snacks, we try to give him protein shakes and Clif bars on a daily basis for help with his weight. My oldest is almost 8, 49 inches tall, and 50 lbs. My 6 year old is 45 inches tall and 40 lbs. My best friend has a 3 year old who is 40 inches tall and weighs 47 lbs. She is not over-weight she is just ‘chubby’ like both of her parents. She is half the age of my youngest and weighs almost 10 lbs more than he does. That is HUGE at this age. I know what they feed her, usually it’s a Kid Cuisine for dinner, pancakes and sausage, eggs for break fast, etc etc. No fresh fruits or veggies, no whole grains, lots of processed foods, meats and dairy, and lots of eating out.

It IS taught to us by our parents, we are leaning from the day we start eating. If our parents are teaching us processed, high-fat foods and to sit on the couch and watch tv, yeah you are going to be over-weight and obese. If you teach your kids: fruits, vegetables, whole grains, minimal fat, and to be active, you will have healthy children who grow into healthy adults.

As an adult, it is VERY hard to learn to do something new. Very hard to change something you have done all of your life. As an adult, even if you are “over 18” you are still programmed to eat a certain way and in my personal experience, it takes YEARS to learn to do something new, even if it is something you are motivated to do.

In America, if you eat out or eat at home, you still get high-calorie, high-fat foods. You have to be careful, be knowledgeable, and make smart decisions, even if you have not eaten all day and are starving, don’t eat at McDonalds. Nothing makes it okay to eat a handful of 500 calories (fries).

In high school they were more interested in teaching me about sex then teaching me about food. I had to get into a nursing program and take a nutrition class that opened my eyes to a lot about what I ate and how it affected me. Even then the books were teaching me to eat high-calorie high-fat foods but to burn it off. I shouldn’t have to work out for 2 hours every day of the week to eat food.

We as Americans are blinded to what we eat. It takes a lot of hard work and effort to make sure our children do not grow up to be over-weight.

I am proud to say as a mom (who is 237 lbs at this very moment) of 2 boys who are healthy, and in their “healthy” weight range. They prefer to have fruits and vegetables instead of chips and cookies for a snack, and would rather play in the park or run around instead of watch tv.

Education is KEY in our change as a country. It is not required for our doctors to take nutrition courses. Only 2% of schools that make doctors require the nutrition courses. It is NOT a requirement in elementary, middle, high school, or college to take nutrition courses, only certain degrees (like nursing) require it. We need to educate ourselves, and then help educate others.

It is required by law that public school lunches have a minimum of 600 calories. 600. The majority of school lunches are full of fried foods and pizza. Rarely do we find FRESH fruit and veggies. This is because it is HARD to get to 600 calories on whole grains, fresh fruits and vegetables. On top of the fried fatty foods being given to our kids on a daily basis, the quality of it is poor.

A final note: Food for thought: The state of California spends more money on food for their inmates than the entire country of USA does on food for their students in all schools for one year. Scary?

I agree. My son barely eats chicken nuggets. I try to feed him healthy, but I rather he eat something than starve.

Toddlers only starve when deprived of all food. They simply do not have the mental capacity to actually go on a hunger strike. They may fuss about it, but when they get hungry enough they will eat what's given them. By giving in to the fussing and offering unhealthy foods all you are really doing is teaching him how to control you.

Partly true. I have a close friend whose (now grown and in her forties) daughter went days without eating as a child and had her pediatrician concerned. It turned out she was eating, they later learned. She was eating the cat's food when they fed the cat twice a day. Denying her cat food didn't make her eat, BTW. In the end they had to look the other way when she ate cat kibble. (And give the cat enough to share without going hungry.) (I know. I can't imagine it either.)

I always had to eat what was set before me, or go without.
I was told however that it would still be there for me if I changed my mind.

My parents taught us healthy eating very young, and we had no video games and had to play outside. As a child and adolescent I was thin because of this. We didn't have treats in the house like sugary foods and high fat foods, as they were treats like you said. We had treats once in a while.

I remember always looking forward to Halloween xD
So, as a child who was raised as the opposite as you, and for those who say the opposite of what you said is bad - I'm telling you, it's not.

I gained due to hectic working schedules in retail management and my own damn laziness. xD

what about the parents that don't have access to a grocery store? or, if there's one close by, they have to take their 5 kids under the age of 10 on the bus (which costs money) and transfer a few times? or, if there's no money for the bus, they have to walk 3 miles in the snow with their kids because there's no babysitter? or, if there's a babysitter available, how are they going to pay for it when they don't have a job and are on food stamps?

perhaps there's not a grocery store nearby, but a convenience store that sells canned junk? that's where most of the people that i work with do their GROCERY shopping.

junk food keeps kids fuller longer. for me, a big mac meal is going to keep me fuller than a piece of fish and some vegetables. parents buy their kids junk food in the area i work with BECAUSE of this. if they have a set amount of food stamps - let's say 500 a month, because that seems to be the average around my area for a family of 5 (an adult and 4 kids) - junk food is simply going to fill them up longer. many of the families i work with, who are absolutely destitute - once that food stamp money is gone, that's it. i had a mother tell me she was going to go sell plasma to try to get her child a nice Christmas dinner. my hubby and i easily spend 400 a month on food for the two of us, and we mainly buy generics and on sale.

and activity, sure. what about the gangs that shoot people? around here, that's pretty normal. or people who just mug you on the street. there are rec centers, but they cost money to enroll. most parents that i work with don't want their kids outside unless they're home.

education is key here. parents simply need to be educated on the choices for their kids, and access to nutritious foods needs to be improved, particularly in urban areas. and calling this child abuse? no. i work with kids who have been raped by their fathers, had the crap beaten out of them, neglected, been crack babies, etc. that's abuse. this is simply lack of education and lack of access to nutritious foods. unless you've been in this situation (maybe you have, i was just too upset to read through the whole thing) don't bother calling it abuse.

/gets off soapbox

Hear hear! I think the OP that it's important to educate children about food and exercise had some great points, but the numerous comments about feeding kids fast food being abuse go over the top. It seems these days whenever we want to make a point we say things that amount to "If you don't raise your kids this way, it's abusive" because we know people stand up and take notice about child abuse. Not everything that gets labelled as abuse is.

I agree, but there are some extreme cases of childhood obesity where it is abuse, is your 8 year old is morbidly obese, thats abuse. But just taking kids out for fast food is not abuse. I think a healthy relationship with food starts with teaching kids moderation and that can include fast food.

just a question.....do you actually have children???


Just like adults they too sometimes just want to eat the things they shouldn't...and that is totally OK! life is about living! If we teach our kids moderation.....in EVERY aspect of their life then they will have the confidence to make good choices in all that they do.

But if you completely forbid things from them then they will find a way to lie and sneak things.....I would much rather allow them to have the things they like in moderation and learn a healthy way to manage their "junk eating" then for them to go to a friends house and binge eat.
So yes, I feed my kids nuggests, mac n cheese, pizza whatever with a pile of veggies and a piece of fruit! They are also perfectly capable of passing up dessert if they feel they have had too much unhealthy choices for the day. It's all about balance. I also don't think it is a very smart thing to post such a strong opinion of other people parenting....you have no idea whta they are going through so you really shouldn't judge from the outside. Just because you see a cart full of junk at the store and a child wlaking beside it doesn't mean that is ALL they ever eat...maybe it is a special occasion! Just sayin......judging from the outside is not a true way to evaluate someones lifestyle.
I reccomend that you read the following books: Good Calorie, Bad Calorie and Why we get fat and what we can do about it
both are by Gary Taubes.
Good reading.

one more thing...no matter what our upbringing we are ALL capable of learning new things and making horrible mistakes all in one day.
It happens but I think passing the buck off on your upbringing is a little silly.
The diet and health industry is a forever changing thing and the information that we have today is completely different from what our grandparents and parents were taught. Just look at how the Food Pyramid thing has changed just in my 32 years of life!
It started as the 4 food groups then the pyramid thing with all the squares, then the pyramid with the long strips and now the "my plate" thing.
Yes, parents need to think about what their kids are eating but as an adult you have all the power required to change yourself...stop blaming your past and take a step forward. it is NEVER to late to LEARN and it is never to late to change. Begging parents to change on MFP is not going to get you anywhere...we are all here to make healthy living a part of our life so don't you think we are doing that for our families as well?

one more thing...no matter what our upbringing we are ALL capable of learning new things and making horrible mistakes all in one day.
It happens but I think passing the buck off on your upbringing is a little silly.
The diet and health industry is a forever changing thing and the information that we have today is completely different from what our grandparents and parents were taught. Just look at how the Food Pyramid thing has changed just in my 32 years of life!
It started as the 4 food groups then the pyramid thing with all the squares, then the pyramid with the long strips and now the "my plate" thing.
Yes, parents need to think about what their kids are eating but as an adult you have all the power required to change yourself...stop blaming your past and take a step forward. it is NEVER to late to LEARN and it is never to late to change. Begging parents to change on MFP is not going to get you anywhere...we are all here to make healthy living a part of our life so don't you think we are doing that for our families as well?

Its not passing the buck, its understanding why some of us are the way that we are in regards to food. I said I take responsibility for what I eat, but I also know that my relationship to food was developed as a child and teenager, and it is a hard relationship to change.

Its not silly, its silly to say that parents do not have a permanent affect on their kids, they do not get all of the credit and none of the blame it does not work like that.

I love my parents and I am changing the way I approach food, and I have made great strides with my relationship to food, but I know that the way I was raised to eat will affect me for the rest of my life at least a little.

You may call it blame but I call it understanding how I got the way that I did.

Begging parents to change on MFP is not going to get you anywhere...we are all here to make healthy living a part of our life so don't you think we are doing that for our families as well?

Everyone is not. I've ready many posts that say something like "I have kids so I have to have junk in the house" or "I have to cook 2 dinners now because I have kids". A parent knows that food is so unhealthy that they shouldn't eat, but they continue to feed it to their children. It's defies common sense.