Quit telling people to "suck it up"

It's easy to forget the Golden Rule, that you shouldn't say something to someone else that you wouldn't want said to you.

It's my opinion most people do follow your beloved Golden Rule. Just because you didn't like what they had to say doesn't mean they wouldn't have appreciated the same thing said to them.

The whole purpose for seeking advice on a forum is to get multiple points of view, so that you can make the best decision for your own life. If everyone just agrees with what you have to say or gives you the same kind of advice, how the heck are you supposed to learn?

I'm guilty of not playing the over-sympathetic, hugzzy type - but if someone legitimately is having a hard time, I will always offer a shoulder to lean on. When asked for advice, I give it honestly, sometimes brutally, but they come to me because I won't sugar coat things. On the flip-side, over-complainers get no sympathy from me. Yes, life is hard, but sometimes they really NEED to suck it the fk up!

Obviously she wrote this post because it helps her when people are more sensitive but
Some people need the sting push as others like a nicer push.
So it's all personal, no one has to bag her out and make an assumption about everyone needing the same thing.

With most of my posts people have been sensitive which is good then I got a guy telling me to suck it up and I thanked him where as everyone told him off for being mean. So everyone's different.

Someone please let me know your thoughts

I see where you're coming from but I also see the other side of it, like when someone is genuinely working their butt off, hits a plateau and tries several different ways to get out of it and it doesn't work it's horrible to hear 'suck it up and get on with life' because the point is their struggling and yeh they want people to offer them sympathy but more then that they want to know that people care and will help them by suggesting even more ways to get out of the said plateau. However, for the suck it up get moving one I also see the benefits in that, if you p*ssy foot around saying it in the short run it doesn't matter but in the long run someone could go back to old habits because no-one has been pushing them to keep going and not give up but using (possibly) hard words. Yes it's hard to have people criticize you but if they're your friends you'll know they don't mean it (too) meanly and yeh if it angers you it's great potentially because your anger pushes you (or at least pushes me) to work harder towards my goal. But I'm not sure if that's what the OP meant, because I have noticed on a lot of threads people being mean for no reason, which I think might be what they're getting at, like a thread I was on the other day some people were discussing how horrible they found fast food now so on so forth, and someone just had to write a nasty little comment along the lines of 'I wonder why everyone got so fat if they hate fast food', now that I thought was mean and unnecessary, a lot of people might have gotten fat from fast food, but a lot of people (myself included) possibly got fat from lack of exercise, eating balanced meals but not understanding portion control so ended up gaining weight. It's those people whose comments I find horrible, I know that isn't an example of suck it up but there's plenty out there when someone posts some small NSV they've reached or whatever sometimes I catch people in there with an attitude of 'is that all you managed'. So whilst I think tough love is a good motivator I think sometimes people do just need to be comforted, they can't comfort eat now (well they can but that would be pointless) so they need some source of comfort and sometimes that has to be you. But when people use 'tough love' as a chance to be a bully, well that's just them being rude and arrogant as opposed to when people use tough love to motivate people into keeping going. Oh and if the person who left that fast food comment see's this and genuinely didn't mean for it to come out sounding rude then I am sorry and take back what I said there, but sometimes you can't help but get defensive over what you deem as people being rude.

In an open forum where there is a bunch of pathetic sniveling, expect those who have it together might say "suck it up" - reach down and take ownership of your issues.

I suppose you could create a closed group with members that all coddle each other instead of trying to get you to face your problems and assume responsibility for your life.

Me? I need a good slap in the face with reality from time to time.

So please! If anybody hears me crying the blues and moaning about life, tell me to...SUCK IT UP!

agree well said

You have to know who you're talking to and what works for them.

Yup, so if you don't know them, how do you know which they want/need?

You should get to know them before telling them to stop whining, or if they want cheese.

So then why post this thread??? You knew you would get this reaction! Perhaps you would be better in a private group....if your feelings are hurt so easily.....Only a suggestion :flowerforyou:

I posted this thread to prove a point, not looking for sympathy. And I know there's a point where people need to be told to suck it up, but unless you know what's going on with them, it's not kind, and doesn't help. That's why.

So let me see....I need to ask every person that is new to my FL how I should respond to them???? **shrugs** you dont like tough love darling just delete said people

Most of the people you see doing that are pretty arrogant. The fact is: not everyone has tact and most people who post on these boards are pretty juvenile(although we love that they mainly stick to the chit chat area and leave the main topics to those of us who are her for reasons other than socializing...).

It does take all types to get this done, but most of the people you see being *kitten* are the ones who are done or nearly done and have got a bit more ego than they do good sense.

I wouldn't worry about it OP. Merry Christmas!

I dunno, I think soft-pedaling the reality of what a person needs to do or being more indirect in order to be nicer isn't always helpful. As it is, I get sick of people "trying" to lose weight, but all they do is look for substitutes for the crappy food they used to eat. Look, I don't eat cheeseburgers anymore, because they made me fat. I don't need to work on finding a low carb/sugar/fat veggie/turkey burger replacement.... how about just not eat that... and when I occasionally eat it, maybe I get the smaller one, and I count it on my daily calories. And then the next day I don't eat a burger... or the day after that...

I wish more of my doctors had been flat out rude about my weight and made me do something. It amazes me that every doctor puts "Morbidly Obese" as a medical condition on my chart, but NEVER talks to me about it.

I agree with you. There are a lot of really rude posters on here.

There are a lot of really thin-skinned posters on here. They should suck it up.

I just feel that the message boards aren't the place for being that blunt with people. I think it will deter some people who really need the support and encouragement from posting. Not only that...a lot of times it's not what you say, but how you say it. We can tell people what they need to hear (as opposed to what they want to hear) without being disrespectful and rude.

It's one thing if we "speak" in that way with our "friends" on here...but not people we don't know. Just my opinion.

Honestly, for me, the "Awesome for trying! WTG!" gets irritating. It's like....i did A SINGLE CURL and i get a gold star? No. I have a really hard time feeling sorry for people who whine. Not losing weight? Maybe get off the computer and DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT instead of asking for pity. Durh.

I argree. I logged and 10 min walk n someone said good job every bit counts lol