Wow I really dont want to hear that

2456

Replies

  • atay18
    atay18 Posts: 39 Member
    I'm 5'7'' and currently 128 lbs. I weigh myself everyday as a way to keep myself in check and lately have been finding that though I'm not 'fat' by any means, I feel 'fat'. Why? Because I haven't been working out as much these past weeks and the holiday parties are taking a toll. My muscles have turned into flab and I'm unsatisfied with how I look and feel. That is what I mean when I say "i feel fat". This is also usually followed by a increase the intensity of my workouts.

    But I would NEVER say that in front of someone else unless I know their whole body image story because I know that those statements can be offensive. I can only say that in front of certain people (my husband, workout buddy, etc) and would in no way say that in front of a friend that I know has struggled with weight loss. To me, that is just rude. So while, I understand your point, I'd just like you to know that some skinny people have bad days, weeks, months too, and maybe are looking for support in the same way that you might. Though, some skinny people are just attention-seeking a*holes.
  • love22step
    love22step Posts: 1,103 Member
    A buck 30 is where I want to be, but for some young women with small frames, that would be a bit on the fat side. To avoid being rude, that's a thought she should avoid expressing in front of someone with more severe weight issues. At 12 lbs. from my goal, I'm reaching the point where people are telling me I need to stop losing, and I find that rather annoying. I could show them the fat stores I'm still carrying and need to shed, but I'd rather they take my word for it.
  • shiseido_faerie
    shiseido_faerie Posts: 771 Member
    Fat is a relative term. I can remember when I hit 130 and thought OMG, I am a whale. I had never weighed that much before except when I was pregnant so it seemed fat to me at the time.

    I agree with this
    I'm 5'2 and 130, this is the heaviest i've ever been in my life and I gained about 15-20lbs in just the last two years (it is my fault, the result of taking a desk job and not adjusting my eating/working out to accommodate it), so I do have days where I look in the mirror and think...oh my gosh is that me?? I don't think i'm "fat", but my body has definitely changed in ways that i'm not happy with, and I have days where I am uncomfortable in it and I feel like my clothes don't fit right. I don't think I necessarily have to get back down to the 110-115 that I was before, but I do feel I need to stop the weight gain from progressing and become more active to tone up the areas that I don't like. I do understand where you're coming from, I have friends who are the size I was previously AND are taller than I am who say they're fat. I just wanted to offer my perspective as someone who is that weight.
  • Sorry but 5'2 and 130 (TO ME) is not fat.

    By any means. And if you are usually 115 that would put a LITTLE over weight.

    I wouldnt go to the extreme to say FAT.

    Again thats just me.

    And I know women have issues with their bodies. But again i was trying to say that the statement in general.

    I am not attacking women and their self image.
  • LavenderBouquet
    LavenderBouquet Posts: 736 Member
    I've noticed most people who say that in a "woe is me" kind of way are normally just fishing for compliments. So don't give it to them by saying "Oh no you're not fat!"... tell them "I thought you put on some weight".

    I don't know if that's necessarily true. I also don't think insulting someone would be the answer.
  • kenzietea
    kenzietea Posts: 614 Member
    I am 5'2" and weigh 100 pounds. I find that I see women who weigh 15 or 30 pounds more than me do not look as undesirable as I see myself. I have struggled with body image issues since I was 8 years old and have had eating disorders. It is annoying that I see myself fat, as well, because the number doesn't match the way I see myself. I would love to have normal thoughts.

    ^^ this..
    You never know how they are feeling. But I do see how it can be annoying! lol
  • SassyCalyGirl
    SassyCalyGirl Posts: 1,932 Member
    I get that people see their flaws. I do too. I see my flaws all the time and judge myself for them.

    But if I was to weigh 120lbs and was sitting next to a girl who was clearly over weight I would think to have the restraint to refrain from calling myself FAT in random converstation.

    If this was a friend I would of course be supportive. But I also find it rude.

    lets reverse that situation. Say a "clearly over weight" person is sitting next to someone that weighed 120lbs and was complaining about HER weight......do you think that might make the 120 lb person uncomfortable as well? Total double standard as I see it. EVERYONE has the right to talk about whatever they want-if someone doesn't like it, they can always walk away.
  • shiseido_faerie
    shiseido_faerie Posts: 771 Member
    Sorry but 5'2 and 130 (TO ME) is not fat.

    By any means. And if you are usually 115 that would put a LITTLE over weight.

    I wouldnt go to the extreme to say FAT.

    Again thats just me.

    And I know women have issues with their bodies. But again i was trying to say that the statement in general.

    I am not attacking women and their self image.

    I didn't take it as an attack at all :) I knew you were speaking in general, just offering my perspective as someone who fit into that group. I don't think I am fat by any means, I just have areas of my body that I have been happier with, I think most people do.
  • mysteria_
    mysteria_ Posts: 44 Member
    It's all relative... I've been known to call myself the F-WORD before, because I have been lazy and gained a lot of flab... and I understand I am not overweight. But it's enough for me to feel unhealthy and lazy, which translates to just saying "UGH, FAT."

    I do know better than to make comments like that to ladies who are bigger than myself.... because I don't want to indirectly insult them. But in reality how I feel about myself does not reflect anything on how I feel others look... some of my friends are overweight and I find them to be beautiful and NOT "fat" at all. They have gorgeous bodies and are beautiful with their curves and all.

    It's just that for myself, I am very critical and very conscious of EVERY little problem... not to mention, I don't carry my weight well at all. I get it all in the gut and that's it :P
  • GoCanada
    GoCanada Posts: 92 Member
    I've noticed most people who say that in a "woe is me" kind of way are normally just fishing for compliments. So don't give it to them by saying "Oh no you're not fat!"... tell them "I thought you put on some weight".

    That's just mean. Think about about all of the people here who are working hard and maybe had an off day and said a side comment. Or someone who maybe has an eating disorder and is just used to thinking that about themselves and then you go say something like that. Even if it's attention seeking it's better to just leave it alone and say nothing then do something that could be potentially harmful for their motivation/psyche.

    There's also other ways to deal with it. My sister has always been super thin and says comments like that, and I know that in her head she probably feels like they're truthful. I deal/dealing with an ED and her doing that kinds of sets me off about myself, but I would NEVER respond with what you said... I instead told her that that's hard for me to hear when I've always struggled with my weight and am larger than her, and it makes me feel really ****ty. At least she understands where I'm coming from rather than just putting her down.

    Also, I'm just over 130 lbs. and I have my fat days. Some are to do with my ED and some are to do with just being lazy generally, or eating the wrong foods and feeling gross. As well I'm rather short (5'4), and even at 130 carry fat in unwanted places (especially after having my son). So. Just thought I'd respond.
  • MissFuchsia
    MissFuchsia Posts: 523 Member
    I think people like that are either fishing for compliments or have body image issues. I'm almost at my goal and still struggling with body image. Still I would never complain about my body to someone else, especially someone bigger than me.
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
    I've noticed most people who say that in a "woe is me" kind of way are normally just fishing for compliments. So don't give it to them by saying "Oh no you're not fat!"... tell them "I thought you put on some weight".

    That's just mean.

    Yeah, I agree. Since when is it okay to be nasty to someone as long as they are thinner than you? If someone if fishing for a compliment then they probably need one. So why not give it, especially if it's a friend?
  • Some people have body issues. Even those who weigh 15lbs soaking wet. She probably really does think shes fat. So instead of strangling her with a belt in the corner, just concentrate on how great your looking.

    Right on!
  • I get that people see their flaws. I do too. I see my flaws all the time and judge myself for them.

    But if I was to weigh 120lbs and was sitting next to a girl who was clearly over weight I would think to have the restraint to refrain from calling myself FAT in random converstation.

    If this was a friend I would of course be supportive. But I also find it rude.

    lets reverse that situation. Say a "clearly over weight" person is sitting next to someone that weighed 120lbs and was complaining about HER weight......do you think that might make the 120 lb person uncomfortable as well? Total double standard as I see it. EVERYONE has the right to talk about whatever they want-if someone doesn't like it, they can always walk away.


    Um, yes. I said that earlier. I find it equally annoying. AND I have friends who are skinny but I would NEVER say "Oh I am so fat" in front of them.

    I may think whatever I want to think but I keep that to myself. Or I wait until I am on here to vent. Or around my friends who struggle with weight and know my fat kid self.

    Its not about the walking away part. I know I could.


    I was just venting in the first place.

    I think its frustrating that someone who weights more than my left leg could call themselves fat in front of me.
  • JipsyJudy
    JipsyJudy Posts: 268 Member
    Well, I don't agree I'm 65, and I've had up-and-down weight issues all my life. Just need to say that I think we need to APPLAUD more when people who are a little overweight want to get back in fighting trim. All my life, people have said to me, "You don't need to lose weight," even when I was 50 pounds over the top of my healthy weight bracket. I'm tall, so I don't look all that fat. My fat has always been belly fat, which is the most dangerous kind of fat and the most important kind of fat to lose. But year after year, people around me put me down for saying I was on a diet, for turning down desserts, and for doing something different than they were doing. I would lose 30 pounds and then listen to people who would say things like, "What good is a diet if you can't go off it once in a while," or "You don't look fat; how much could it hurt you to have pasta/pizza/fried shrimps/greaseburger/etc. and gain back a pound of belly fat each month. Finally, I became diabetic, and now I've stopped listening to people who tell me I'm not fat. I'm carrying about 30 pounds of dangerous, metabolically active fat around my belly and ribs right now, and it has to go. I recently got my blood sugar under control with The Insulin Resistance Diet and I intend to stay on it for the rest of my life. Excess abdominal fat is BAD, BAD, BAD for us, and I applaud and support everyone who s trying to get rid of that stuff, no matter whether others think they are fat or not. And that's second my rant for today. Happy fitness journeys, everyone.
  • leynak
    leynak Posts: 963 Member
    Eh, it really doesn't bother me. I call myself fat all the time but I'm sure someone bigger than me would love to be my size. I also remember a time in my life(high school) where I thought I was HUGE. I was 5'6" & 140lbs. Right now I'd love to be that size again.

    So I really can't hold someone(that's healthy) thinking they're fat against them. I felt the same way once.
  • skylark94
    skylark94 Posts: 2,036 Member
    I do see where you are coming from.

    I had to remind myself to stop talking about my weight when I am around my best friend. While I did indeed feel very fat at 166 pounds, she is probably at least 250. When I look at her I do not see an obese person, I see my beautiful best friend, but I know that she is struggling with health issues which make it very difficult to lose weight. I can only imagine how she must have felt when I called myself fat.
  • leslielt
    leslielt Posts: 113 Member
    I've noticed most people who say that in a "woe is me" kind of way are normally just fishing for compliments. So don't give it to them by saying "Oh no you're not fat!"... tell them "I thought you put on some weight".
    haha reminds me of a funny story. my cousin (who just spent who knows how much to get her hair all done up) said oh my hair looks awful and the other person agreed with her. My cousin stood there shocked, "you shouldn't say that". So the other lady replied i was just agreeing with you oh wait you wanted me to tell you how good you looked huh

    she probably won't pull that trick again
  • Just1forMe
    Just1forMe Posts: 624 Member
    I am 5'2" and weigh 100 pounds. I find that I see women who weigh 15 or 30 pounds more than me do not look as undesirable as I see myself. I have struggled with body image issues since I was 8 years old and have had eating disorders. It is annoying that I see myself fat, as well, because the number doesn't match the way I see myself. I would love to have normal thoughts.

    I agree with the original poster. I get that ANYONE can have body issues...I think her point is, why would you say that to ME when I obviously am much heavier than you. Keep it to yourself, because to say it to someone who obviously weighs 30-50 lbs (for example) more than you is insulting.
  • Sorry but 5'2 and 130 (TO ME) is not fat.

    By any means. And if you are usually 115 that would put a LITTLE over weight.

    I wouldnt go to the extreme to say FAT.

    Again thats just me.

    And I know women have issues with their bodies. But again i was trying to say that the statement in general.

    I am not attacking women and their self image.

    I didn't take it as an attack at all :) I knew you were speaking in general, just offering my perspective as someone who fit into that group. I don't think I am fat by any means, I just have areas of my body that I have been happier with, I think most people do.

    Okay good :))
  • madameduffay
    madameduffay Posts: 166 Member
    I've noticed most people who say that in a "woe is me" kind of way are normally just fishing for compliments. So don't give it to them by saying "Oh no you're not fat!"... tell them "I thought you put on some weight".

    LMAO. That would make her head explode!
  • I am 5'2" and weigh 100 pounds. I find that I see women who weigh 15 or 30 pounds more than me do not look as undesirable as I see myself. I have struggled with body image issues since I was 8 years old and have had eating disorders. It is annoying that I see myself fat, as well, because the number doesn't match the way I see myself. I would love to have normal thoughts.

    I agree with the original poster. I get that ANYONE can have body issues...I think her point is, why would you say that to ME when I obviously am much heavier than you. Keep it to yourself, because to say it to someone who obviously weighs 30-50 lbs (for example) more than you is insulting.

    Yea that was kinda the point :))
  • MelKut
    MelKut Posts: 167 Member
    I am 5'8" and weigh about 164 right now.... My usual weight was 175-ish and I couldn't say I was "fat" even though that's how I felt because every time I would show displeasure in my body, my older sister (about 40 lbs heavier than me, but same body frame) would harshly say "Shut up! Look at me! You're skinny!" even though I felt like I needed to make changes.

    Just because someone is smaller than you doesn't make it okay to NOT allow them to express how they feel about their body. They may be thin, but flabby.... just because they can fit into a size 2 or 0, doesn't mean they have the body they want. Instead, invite them to workout with you, give them tips on how to tone up.

    NOW, if they looked anything close to this:
    zuzana-light-body-rock-tv_163038843.jpg
    THEN kick their *kitten* :laugh:
  • cruiseking
    cruiseking Posts: 338 Member
    People are people. We all have our peeves, and our idiosynchrosies. I think the girl that is a buck 30 wet, is fishing for affirmation. I liked it when people insinuated that I was fat. I would insinuate that being fat was something I could easily change. Now being an a**hole, that's a little tougher to change. How about the person turning 30, who bemoans it aloud, in the presence of people who are closer to 50 than 40? People are funny. I choose to be an observer, and laugh off people. We are all a "little off", in our own bizarre way. We may not think so, but others may have a different tale to tell. If you ever need a good lagh or way to boost your own feeling of well being, go to a Walmart with the express intent of being an observer of human nature. Good times!
  • MaraDiaz
    MaraDiaz Posts: 4,604 Member
    It bothers me, too, but since I used to be that girl, I can't complain. I will try to call myself out of shape or not in as good a shape as I would like to be once I near my goal weight, though. It's more accurate.
  • Fat is a relative term. I can remember when I hit 130 and thought OMG, I am a whale. I had never weighed that much before except when I was pregnant so it seemed fat to me at the time.

    ^^^ This

    I am 5' and was 130lbs at my highest two months ago, that is what I weighed when I was pregnant! To me I was fat because that is not what I have looked like most of my life.

    Yes you are venting (totally understandable) but you have also now done exactly what you are venting about, you have now insulted those who are smaller and possibly made them uncomfortable.

    These types of threads tend get way out of hand, It's just not good stuff to post:smile:
  • CaptainGordo
    CaptainGordo Posts: 4,437 Member
    Maybe she's jealous of you.
  • dmpizza
    dmpizza Posts: 3,321 Member
    It all relative, but its easier to lose 2 than 20.
  • clarkeje1
    clarkeje1 Posts: 1,641 Member
    haha ouch lol
  • killagb
    killagb Posts: 3,280 Member
    Maybe she's jealous of you.
    Absolutely, there is jealous afoot here. Someone is....and it might be me.
This discussion has been closed.