Wow I really dont want to hear that
Replies
-
I understand where you are coming from but going from obese to almost a healthy weight I see both sides. I was 304 in january. When women said that it would set me off too. Girls who were sticks would complain and I had this. one very very mean girl in nursing school tell me she would kill herself if she ever became my size. To my face. Now that I am 157 bigger women get upset with me. I do need to lose 17 lbs to get to goal. And I have fat and a big tummy and everything else I'm not happy with plus saggy skin. I love my body a lot more than I did then but I still have a ways to go.
Also after being on here I now understand the difference between what you weigh and getting more toned and fit. Honeslty if I worked out more I probably would have a better body. Its one of my goals not only to lose but get fit and some people don't understand the difference and may think they are fat rather than just not toned or healthy. She may be referring to that. I talk about my weight with people other than my close friends and its a touchy subject no matter who your talking to. I know I'm not going to notice someone else is uncomfortable if I'm having a really I feel fat day. We got ourselves obese and now we have to change it. People do have the right to voice their opinions and just because you are overweight doesn't mean people have to sugar coat everything for you and walk on eggshells so you don't get offended. My respose would have been based on post " well I think you look amazing but there is nothing wrong with wanting to be even more fit and healthy" women are so catty it amazes me sometimes. We should be unified but really we tear each other down to make ourselves feel better.0 -
lets reverse that situation. Say a "clearly over weight" person is sitting next to someone that weighed 120lbs and was complaining about HER weight......do you think that might make the 120 lb person uncomfortable as well? Total double standard as I see it. EVERYONE has the right to talk about whatever they want-if someone doesn't like it, they can always walk away.
Yes. An overweight person has every right to complain about being overweight. If someone isn't overweight...complaining they are is obviously odd - but people have eating disorders, emotional problems, and such. Why is it only the skinny people are being treated as if they can complain, but overweight people can't? Overweight people hold the same problems as people who aren't overweight can.
That being said, if a person is 120 pounds and doesn't have any of the problems listed above, there is no reason why they should feel uncomfortable with an overweight person unless they agree, lol.
If your situation was reversed, it would mean that the overweight person would be uncomfortable with a skinny person saying "omg I'm so fat" when they aren't. Isn't that what OP is saying, that it's annoying and uncomfortable? But we have to deal with it because they might have body issues, wouldn't the skinny person in your situation also have to deal with it since the fat person probably has issues too?0 -
I totally understand...I have some friends who are super skinny. A family of five girls between 12-21. The oldest two girls are stick skinny, middle one was bigger but now she's a smaller, curvy girl and the second youngest is between the other three. The second youngest usually is the one talking about feeling fat and in a way I can understand because she lives with two girls who are super tiny and can eat like a cow and not gain an ounce. I always tell her that if she's fat then I'm a hippo. lol But I tell her in all seriousness that she can't compare to her oldest sisters because they're built differently and instead look at me and her other sister because we're closer in build and we're all fairly similar in size anyway.0
-
I understand where you are coming from but going from obese to almost a healthy weight I see both sides. I was 304 in january. When women said that it would set me off too. Girls who were sticks would complain and I had this. one very very mean girl in nursing school tell me she would kill herself if she ever became my size. To my face. Now that I am 157 bigger women get upset with me. I do need to lose 17 lbs to get to goal. And I have fat and a big tummy and everything else I'm not happy with plus saggy skin. I love my body a lot more than I did then but I still have a ways to go.
Also after being on here I now understand the difference between what you weigh and getting more toned and fit. Honeslty if I worked out more I probably would have a better body. Its one of my goals not only to lose but get fit and some people don't understand the difference and may think they are fat rather than just not toned or healthy. She may be referring to that. I talk about my weight with people other than my close friends and its a touchy subject no matter who your talking to. I know I'm not going to notice someone else is uncomfortable if I'm having a really I feel fat day. We got ourselves obese and now we have to change it. People do have the right to voice their opinions and just because you are overweight doesn't mean people have to sugar coat everything for you and walk on eggshells so you don't get offended. My respose would have been based on post " well I think you look amazing but there is nothing wrong with wanting to be even more fit and healthy" women are so catty it amazes me sometimes. We should be unified but really we tear each other down to make ourselves feel better.
I'm not saying anyone has to walk on egg shells. I know my weight. I know its not healthy. I've heard the comments.
Like I said previously I think she should have saved it for someone who maybe understood her self image issues. Why say that to chick who has to eat cucumbers so her butt doesnt grow??
i wasnt trying to tear anyone down. Again like I said i'm jealous of her. She can eat whatever she wants and maintain a weight that I have to work really hard for.0 -
I understand where you are coming from but going from obese to almost a healthy weight I see both sides. I was 304 in january. When women said that it would set me off too. Girls who were sticks would complain and I had this. one very very mean girl in nursing school tell me she would kill herself if she ever became my size. To my face. Now that I am 157 bigger women get upset with me. I do need to lose 17 lbs to get to goal. And I have fat and a big tummy and everything else I'm not happy with plus saggy skin. I love my body a lot more than I did then but I still have a ways to go.
Also after being on here I now understand the difference between what you weigh and getting more toned and fit. Honeslty if I worked out more I probably would have a better body. Its one of my goals not only to lose but get fit and some people don't understand the difference and may think they are fat rather than just not toned or healthy. She may be referring to that. I talk about my weight with people other than my close friends and its a touchy subject no matter who your talking to. I know I'm not going to notice someone else is uncomfortable if I'm having a really I feel fat day. We got ourselves obese and now we have to change it. People do have the right to voice their opinions and just because you are overweight doesn't mean people have to sugar coat everything for you and walk on eggshells so you don't get offended. My respose would have been based on post " well I think you look amazing but there is nothing wrong with wanting to be even more fit and healthy" women are so catty it amazes me sometimes. We should be unified but really we tear each other down to make ourselves feel better.
I'm not saying anyone has to walk on egg shells. I know my weight. I know its not healthy. I've heard the comments.
Like I said previously I think she should have saved it for someone who maybe understood her self image issues. Why say that to chick who has to eat cucumbers so her butt doesnt grow??
i wasnt trying to tear anyone down. Again like I said i'm jealous of her. She can eat whatever she wants and maintain a weight that I have to work really hard for.0 -
Some people really think that way, and others just want the attention0
-
Maybe its just me. But I gota vent.
Its really REALLY annoying to me when I hear a chick that weighs probably a buck 30 wet call herself fat.
Its like WOW if you think your fat I must be a friggin whale.
Just saying.
Its annoying.....
Thats all.
Everyone has their own body image issues. In that woman's mind, she IS fat. It has nothing to do with you. Get over yourself.
Pretty sure you gave this advice to someone else "no one strapped you to a chair and forced you to read this"
I said at the start I was just venting.
But thanks sooo much for you input I'll try to put my ego aside just for YOU.
At first I was going to sympathize with you, then I read this, now I think you might just be hyper sensitize.0 -
Is it at all possible to misunderstand someone? Last week I said, "I am a fat pig". My husband freaked out and said I have issues. What I *MEANT* was, "I ate like a fat pig". After I explained it to him, he calmed down.
That said, unless a person is standing in front of you naked, you have no idea if they are fat or not. I am thin, but I still have belly fat cuz I had seven kids. Well, belly flabby skin. No way to get rid of it except with a tummy tuck. Do I consider myself fat? Sometimes I think I look fat (when I am bloated). I am sure it would drive people crazy to hear me say that.
And yeah, a lot of people do it for attention. (Like the ones who say, "I am going to leave F@cebook", and then wait for everyone to say, "Oh, we love you too much, please don't leave.")
The only time I think I would be upset is if I were in a dressing room with someone who was about to try something on and said it when they obviously weren't. (Like at Loehmann's, iykwim)0 -
Maybe its just me. But I gota vent.
Its really REALLY annoying to me when I hear a chick that weighs probably a buck 30 wet call herself fat.
Its like WOW if you think your fat I must be a friggin whale.
Just saying.
Its annoying.....
Thats all.
Everyone has their own body image issues. In that woman's mind, she IS fat. It has nothing to do with you. Get over yourself.
Pretty sure you gave this advice to someone else "no one strapped you to a chair and forced you to read this"
I said at the start I was just venting.
But thanks sooo much for you input I'll try to put my ego aside just for YOU.
At first I was going to sympathize with you, then I read this, now I think you might just be hyper sensitize.
And you figured that out on the first page. Way to go.
0 -
Is it at all possible to misunderstand someone? Last week I said, "I am a fat pig". My husband freaked out and said I have issues. What I *MEANT* was, "I ate like a fat pig". After I explained it to him, he calmed down.
That said, unless a person is standing in front of you naked, you have no idea if they are fat or not. I am thin, but I still have belly fat cuz I had seven kids. Well, belly flabby skin. No way to get rid of it except with a tummy tuck. Do I consider myself fat? Sometimes I think I look fat (when I am bloated). I am sure it would drive people crazy to hear me say that.
And yeah, a lot of people do it for attention. (Like the ones who say, "I am going to leave F@cebook", and then wait for everyone to say, "Oh, we love you too much, please don't leave.")
The only time I think I would be upset is if I were in a dressing room with someone who was about to try something on and said it when they obviously weren't. (Like at Loehmann's, iykwim)
btw I posted back on page 5 that over reacted. 0 -
I have a cousin who's really skinny. She has always been skinny- after she got pregnant, she gained weight, and worked really hard to lose it. When she was about 130, I thought she looked beautiful, I couldn't find anything wrong with her- but she could, and in the end, it's how she sees her self. She would of course, make comments about how she was fat and disgusting, and she wasn't happy with her body. Could I resent her, or be upset at her, for calling HERSELF fat? No. It doesn't hurt my feelings when she says it, because I know she's talking about herself, and that she's not judging me, as a person. In fact, she's one of my biggest supporters when it comes to weight loss, or school, or anything. She doesn't see ME how I see myself, just like I didn't see HER how she saw herself.. I think that before you get upset, you really need to think about those things.. Even if it's "fishing for a compliment"- in a way, there's obviously some kind of insecurity, where the person needs to be reassured that they're beautiful.0
-
Seahawkmomma, now that I've read the story behind your rant, I get it. Next time this coworker makes a remark like that, just tell her she's welcome to eat some healthy stuff with you.0
-
wow......To the person whoended their commnet with...."telling someone to get over them selves ".... I find your comment downright rude! I personally can relate to being confounded by thin people who think they are fat....I'm sure it's a body image problem!0
-
Okay Okay
So let me explain just a wee bit further(which I should have done in the first place)
First off this is just a VENT. This is how I FEEL.
So I'm eatting my cuccumber snack the girl I work with comes up to me and says "omg I need to start eatting healthier too I'm soooooo fat" than I see her walk back to her desk with a bag of chips.
Okay so A: I dont think its a stab at me. B: I think its insanely rude.
OMG. Unbelievably rude!!!!!!!!0 -
Next time this coworker makes a remark like that, just tell her she's welcome to eat some healthy stuff with you.
Optimistic and constructive. These are the types of posts that make me wish MFP had a "Like" option. 0 -
Next time this coworker makes a remark like that, just tell her she's welcome to eat some healthy stuff with you.
Optimistic and constructive. These are the types of posts that make me wish MFP had a "Like" option.
I agree. On both parts. We do need a like button and thats a great idea. Next time I'll use that 0 -
Okay Okay
So let me explain just a wee bit further(which I should have done in the first place)
First off this is just a VENT. This is how I FEEL.
So I'm eatting my cuccumber snack the girl I work with comes up to me and says "omg I need to start eatting healthier too I'm soooooo fat" than I see her walk back to her desk with a bag of chips.
Okay so A: I dont think its a stab at me. B: I think its insanely rude.
OMG. Unbelievably rude!!!!!!!!
I don't know this person, but it's possible it wasn't meant to be rude. Perhaps she was actually making a positive comment on the fact that you were doing well by eating a healthy snack, while she can't give up chips and is gaining weight.0 -
I agree with most of the posts above. Im 5'7 and weight 131, but I call myself "skinny fat" as although my weight on the scales is good, I still have muffin tops. I want to be ripped, so to me I am fat, and want to lower my body fat %.0
-
I agree with most of the posts above. Im 5'7 and weight 131, but I call myself "skinny fat" as although my weight on the scales is good, I still have muffin tops. I want to be ripped, so to me I am fat, and want to lower my body fat %.
Here's the difference though. Do you think you'd make the comment to someone in the office while you mow on some chips?
I think for some people they think its okay. And for me If it was a close friend who I understood where they are coming from it would be different.
Me personally if i was 130ish pounds I wouldnt make that comment around someone over 200lbs eatting like a rabbit.
But thats me.0 -
The lesson here is-if you are thinner than the person next to you-god forbid if you talk about getting healthy' fit or losing weight. So tired of the eye rolls and double standard. Someone can say..."God, she's so skinny"-like the person is gonna fall over of malnutrition, but again, god forbid if someone called another person fat!0
-
Some people have BDD (Body Dysmorphic Disorder) so I don't think it's fair to say they are "fishing for compliments." In today's world there's so many celebs bragging about being a size 2 or even a 0 it's a wonder why real women are feeling that they aren't attractive unless they are stick thin. And who knows if they were teased as children? Such deep scarring can be carried in the psyche for years.0
-
FYI... body image or not, it seems that I feel similar anxieties with my skinny co-workers, and friends, its hard to focus with those types of distractions right?! Its hard to be the thinnest one in the crowd though too. I have in-laws who are always commenting on me eating like a rabbit, pushing to get in those weekend workouts etc... Because to them, i am okay (compared to being morbidly obese?) the size i am.
AT 5ft tall and 149 I might have 28lbs to lose instead of 128 but still really need the support of the ppl around me to do it.
Be open, vent when needed and don't let it get to yah too bad.. not worth a bump in the road toward longer life, aging gracefully and shaken it when you get there!!0 -
"On the same hand it bothers me when fat people say it too while their eat their ho ho's. "
This bothers me too. I totally was that girl when i was younger, complained about being fat all the time while eating 3-4 fudge rounds or 1/2 a pack of Oreo's. Glad i changed that.
I understand what your saying about girls in the healthy zone saying there fat. Yes you can have body issues but you have to know being in the healthy range your not fat. You might be soft and squishy but if your not even in the overweight category you Obviously cant really be fat! I call my self fat every now and again, i'm 5'8 and 150. Not fat, but i am jiggly and soft.0 -
So instead of strangling her with a belt in the corner....
I am SO GLAD I am not the only one that ever feels this way!!!!!!!0 -
I wonder if there would be body image issues if mirrors were never invented?????0
-
It bothers you because there is an insecurity within you. You see yourself in these people, meaning the reason it bothers you is you know you have said the same thing yourself.
Why not focus on something other than what other people are saying? There is so much more to life than listening to other people, it may be frustrating to you, but at the same time, not everyone says things looking for attention, some say things out loud not realizing that they are attention seeking for one, and two some are very black and white thinking (all or nothing). Eating disorders come in many forms.
Perhaps you should be grateful for what YOU are doing for yourself, be glad that you have found a path that is working for you, instead of the insecurities of others.0 -
I'm 5'9" and 120 pounds (after losing 47 pounds).
I still think I look fat on many days, in many outfits. I try to refrain from saying it in front of people heavier than me who I know are struggling with their weight but sometimes it slips out.
Be kind to people. They don't usually realize they are making you feel bad. Give then the benefit of the doubt.0 -
The 'skinny' person saying that is not trying to be mean or knock you. They are talking about themselves, They feel fat and shouldn't have to justify that feeling to anyone, its how the feel. Saying it is just venting their irritation that they aren't in the physical shape they want to be in.
I get tired of bigger people telling me I'm skinny and should be happy with my weight as it is.
I vent with my workout friend and we fluctuate, usually one of us is bigger than the other, we flip back and forth. Sometimes I feel bad about venting when I'm already smaller than her when I'm back on the fitness wagon trying to get even better. But that doesn't mean I shouldn't express my concerns about myself to my friend just because she's bigger than me at the moment.
If you don't like the person's comment you could say something like "Yeah, I know what you mean," That person might not realize you're sensitive and get offended when other people talking about their weight in front of you.0 -
I hate fat people who complain about skinny people calling themselves fat.. cause guess what, just because we look skinny doesn't mean we are!
I'm 5'9, and when I weighed 180, I still looked skinny.. but to me, I was a whale! The whole reason why I looked skinny is because I bought clothes that actually fit instead of stuffing myself like a sausage into clothes that were clearly 2 sizes too small, like a lot of my heavier friends tended to do. Now that I've lost 30 of the 40 pounds i need to lose and I'm back to being "skinny", people tell me i"m too skinny and need to put weight back on.. So no matter what I do, I can't win.. Skinny or fat it seems like!0 -
I debated as to replying to this or not but as I kept reading replies, I decided I needed to say my piece! I am 53 years old. When I was a teenager I had very low self esteem. I believed that I was fat. At 5'7" I weighed 115. I felt VERY fat so I worked harder until I was 103. I still felt that I could lose more but ended up in a relationship then married, again with low self esteem. I couldn't believe someone was interested in a fatty like me. These were my thoughts. I ended up married and pregnant and anemic. I had to take high doses of iron throughout my pregnancy. I say all this to say that I would have probably been making statements about being fat back then, not because I was trying to be rude but because I would have felt that that person could relate, because I was like them. Again understand that the person you are angry with for making that comment either is a @q$$ BRAT or probably has a mental disorder regarding weight. I am now 53 and btw in the morbid obese range, according to the physician and working on weight lose in a healthy manner.0
This discussion has been closed.
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 393.7K Introduce Yourself
- 43.8K Getting Started
- 260.3K Health and Weight Loss
- 176K Food and Nutrition
- 47.5K Recipes
- 232.6K Fitness and Exercise
- 431 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.5K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.6K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 153K Motivation and Support
- 8.1K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.4K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.8K MyFitnessPal Information
- 23 News and Announcements
- 1.2K Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.6K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions