breastfeeding in public

Frugalmomsrock, I would disagree with your sentiment that moms never "flop it all out." I do think they are rare, though. I think the amount of people who "flop it all out" is probably roughly the same as the amount of people who would have a problem with a mom discreetly nursing in public.

I BF my 3 children in public all of the time, in a very conservative (either a capital or lower case 'C' is apt there, if you kwim) area of the country and NEVER got even a dirty look. BUT a gal I was friends with at the time ALWAYS got dirty looks. Do you want to know why *I* think that was? SHE thought it was because all those ignorant a-holes couldn't deal with nursing. *I* (who constantly nursed in public with no issues) thought it was because while I was reasonably discreet, she pulled her shirt down under her breast, then picked up her baby, then latched on, then shot dirty looks around the room waiting for someone to complain. I think it was her dream to be in a big news story like this. Some people are just confrontational, or maybe looking to be part of a political firestorm, or who knows what else, KWIM? Look around the world, you can't tell me those people don't exist-- they do in every facet of life, including all the mommy-war issues.

In fact, a political statement is exactly what a nurse-in is. It's not about needing to feed baby right now, they show up for the express reason of making a political statement.

The truth is, I'm with them if the statement is "oh, my baby's hungry, I'm going to find a comfortable spot to feed her..." (comfortable spot=a bench somewhere, though I never "covered up" with a blanket, I'd kind of wrap one around, not a bathroom. This topic wasn't about a bathroom though, it was about a changing room, which you CAN'T tell me is worse than the FLOOR of a Target). I'm just not with them when the statement is "I'm going to nurse WHENever & WHEREever, and EFF YOU!!!" which is what these things are about. In my experience, no one (though I'm sure a rare few psychos) has a problem with the former, but very few people appreciate the latter. And I agree.

Feel free to claim to "call bull****" or whatever you want, but having spent the last 7 years solid of my life BFing, I don't think you can pass me off as an anti-BFing person who just doesn't get it.

What an interesting thread...

I think that there are some extremist out there that have ruined this for all of the private and self conscious breastfeeding moms out there. No, I don't need to see your boob and toddler plopped on the table at the McDonald's because it's your right to feed your child! People need to be considerate and tactful - everyone has a right to their opinions. I can attest that breastfeeding in public can be done easily and privately - I breastfed both of my children and was told on more than on occasion by this person or that (in the mall, at a restaurant, or where ever) that they didn't even realize I was breastfeeding. I always did it tactfully and completely covered because regardless of how natural it is - it is my body and everybody doesn't need to see it. Sex is natural too - but I'll be damned if I want people doing that in front of my kids!

Frugalmomsrock, I would disagree with your sentiment that moms never "flop it all out." I do think they are rare, though. I think the amount of people who "flop it all out" is probably roughly the same as the amount of people who would have a problem with a mom discreetly nursing in public.

I BF my 3 children in public all of the time, in a very conservative (either a capital or lower case 'C' is apt there, if you kwim) area of the country and NEVER got even a dirty look. BUT a gal I was friends with at the time ALWAYS got dirty looks. Do you want to know why *I* think that was? SHE thought it was because all those ignorant a-holes couldn't deal with nursing. *I* (who constantly nursed in public with no issues) thought it was because while I was reasonably discreet, she pulled her shirt down under her breast, then picked up her baby, then latched on, then shot dirty looks around the room waiting for someone to complain. I think it was her dream to be in a big news story like this. Some people are just confrontational, or maybe looking to be part of a political firestorm, or who knows what else, KWIM? Look around the world, you can't tell me those people don't exist-- they do in every facet of life, including all the mommy-war issues.

In fact, a political statement is exactly what a nurse-in is. It's not about needing to feed baby right now, they show up for the express reason of making a political statement.

The truth is, I'm with them if the statement is "oh, my baby's hungry, I'm going to find a comfortable spot to feed her..." (comfortable spot=a bench somewhere, though I never "covered up" with a blanket, I'd kind of wrap one around, not a bathroom. This topic wasn't about a bathroom though, it was about a changing room, which you CAN'T tell me is worse than the FLOOR of a Target). I'm just not with them when the statement is "I'm going to nurse WHENever & WHEREever, and EFF YOU!!!" which is what these things are about. In my experience, no one (though I'm sure a rare few psychos) has a problem with the former, but very few people appreciate the latter. And I agree.

Feel free to claim to "call bull****" or whatever you want, but having spent the last 7 years solid of my life BFing, I don't think you can pass me off as an anti-BFing person who just doesn't get it.

And as her mother I will say NO, however I will hope that because of her being raised to keep her body private age will want to all on her own. When they are old enough in my eyes to discuss those things we will!

I guess we have different opinions on when they are "old enough" to discuss these things. My 5-year-old knows what's appropriate for public viewing and what is not. She knows there are bad people out there. She knows that kissing is for grown-ups, and she knows where her private places are and that nobody is allowed to touch them. She knows that one day she will grow breasts, and that one day she will have a period, and that those things happen so that she can have and feed the babies that she will have one day if she wants to have them. She doesn't seem scarred. We talk about things in language that she can understand, and I believe that when she's of teh age to need to talk about sex, it will be good that we've opened this door now because it won't be such a taboo subject. There's none of this "I'll tell you when you're older" business. If she has a question, I answer it as best I can. I don't feel like it's in her best interest to wait until she comes home with her head full of wrong ideas she gleaned from conversations in the school cafeteria. Because those conversations happen. I'd rather she know the truth first so she won't be duped later.

And as her mother I will say NO, however I will hope that because of her being raised to keep her body private age will want to all on her own. When they are old enough in my eyes to discuss those things we will!

I guess we have different opinions on when they are "old enough" to discuss these things. My 5-year-old knows what's appropriate for public viewing and what is not. She knows there are bad people out there. She knows that kissing is for grown-ups, and she knows where her private places are and that nobody is allowed to touch them. She knows that one day she will grow breasts, and that one day she will have a period, and that those things happen so that she can have and feed the babies that she will have one day if she wants to have them. She doesn't seem scarred. We talk about things in language that she can understand, and I believe that when she's of teh age to need to talk about sex, it will be good that we've opened this door now because it won't be such a taboo subject. There's none of this "I'll tell you when you're older" business. If she has a question, I answer it as best I can. I don't feel like it's in her best interest to wait until she comes home with her head full of wrong ideas she gleaned from conversations in the school cafeteria. Because those conversations happen. I'd rather she know the truth first so she won't be duped later.

I have had some of those discussions with her as well, I guess we are just a modest family. My family was not very modest growing up and as a teenager I wish is had more respect for my own body. I have just chosen to do things a little diffrent! You know a learn from your parents mistakes kind of thing.

My son has seen women breastfeeding covered before, but I have seen women just whip it out for the world to see. I just personally don't want my son to see a strangers breast hanging out while shopping.

I think breastfeeding is amazing and I did it as well, but I always covered up out of respect for others.

So, Ryan, I was just thinking -- You have a 9-year-old and you don't want her?? to see breasts?

I was a C-cup at 9 and had my first period at 11. She may not be developing, but some of her friends are. She's seen and known more than you can imagine, unless you don't allow her friends.

So, Ryan, I was just thinking -- You have a 9-year-old and you don't want her?? to see breasts?

I was a C-cup at 9 and had my first period at 11. She may not be developing, but some of her friends are. She's seen and known more than you can imagine, unless you don't allow her friends.

My daughter and I talk about what is going to happen to her body. She has seen me in a bra and knows that changes will be happening to her body. We are both female though. The comment was more geared to my son, his father will discuss with him what changes will happen. He does not need to see a female breast for educational purposes at 7 not mine or anyone's for that matter.

I guess my whole point is that I should decide when my daughter or son will be exposed to body parts, not the lady in the store who whips out out for the whole world to see!

Do you really think that your lack of respect for your body was just because your family wasn't modest? It's just as likely for a child from a puritanical family to grow up and be promiscuous as it is for a child from a family that runs around naked in the house. The key is communication. I don't think it makes a difference whether or not they see you naked -- if you do'nt talk about it, they'll come up with their own ideas, and those ideas may or may not be what you want for them.

I do agree with you though that we learn from our parents and we try to correct anything we feel they didn't do right. Which is why I talk to my daughter about these things. Because I grew up feeling shame about my body and how it works, to the point that it took me a long time to be able to talk about my period with a doctor. My parents never talked to me about how babies are made or the changes my body would go through until I'd already gone through them. That was a big problem for me, not being able to ask those questions.

So because you felt shame for your body you think showing tolerance to Exposureis acceptable?

I think dudes these days look like chicks with their tight pants and chicks look way to old because they arent covered up enough.

There are women out there (tons of women have posted that they have seen this peek over the last 20pages if you need to reference) that they have seen womens breasts. Why is it okay if there is a child attached to it?? that makes zero sense.

So, Ryan, I was just thinking -- You have a 9-year-old and you don't want her?? to see breasts?

I was a C-cup at 9 and had my first period at 11. She may not be developing, but some of her friends are. She's seen and known more than you can imagine, unless you don't allow her friends.

My daughter and I talk about what is going to happen to her body. She has seen me in a bra and knows that changes will be happening to her body. We are both female though. The comment was more geared to my son, his father will discuss with him what changes will happen. He does not need to see a female breast for educational purposes at 7 not mine or anyone's for that matter.

I guess my whole point is that I should decide when my daughter or son will be exposed to body parts, not the lady in the store who whips out out for the whole world to see!

I asked her if she remembered what it was like. She said, "It tasted like 'I love you.'" Does that sound sick to you??

So, Ryan, I was just thinking -- You have a 9-year-old and you don't want her?? to see breasts?

I was a C-cup at 9 and had my first period at 11. She may not be developing, but some of her friends are. She's seen and known more than you can imagine, unless you don't allow her friends.

My daughter and I talk about what is going to happen to her body. She has seen me in a bra and knows that changes will be happening to her body. We are both female though. The comment was more geared to my son, his father will discuss with him what changes will happen. He does not need to see a female breast for educational purposes at 7 not mine or anyone's for that matter.

I guess my whole point is that I should decide when my daughter or son will be exposed to body parts, not the lady in the store who whips out out for the whole world to see!

lol. I agree. I remember when I was in the Girl Scouts, my troop went to the pool as one of our field trips and this old woman decided it was ok to walk around completely naked and try to have conversations with us with everything out there. Our troop leaders politely guided us away but even now going to the gym I feel uncomfortable with women coming up to me having conversations while completely nude. Is that really necessary? what's wrong with a towel?

Breasts are for feeding babies. Period.