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The QUIT KIDDING YOURSELF thread!

ninerbuff

After training some clients, I was approached by a female and her friend because they wanted some advice on losing the weight around the middle and their legs. They did admit that their eating needed help, but were GOOD with their training and wouldn't need help with that since they've trained before and have good form. Advice I gave them was to find their BMR and eat about 400 calories over it.

So while I was training another group of clients, I happened to see these to yapping away while training and doing dumbell squats. Both were using 7lbs dumbells and doing 1/4 squats. No straining, no break in talking and even laughing while doing them. The rest of their workout was pathetic as well.

Point of the story? There are many people out there who kid themselves if they really think that they are EFFECTIVELY exercising. The use of 5-7lbs dumbells, with the possible exception of curls and tricep extensions, is totally useless for bench presses, rows, shoulder presses, squats, etc. If the muscle isn't put under a decent load, YOU'RE WASTING YOUR TIME. Quit kidding yourself!

I know that there will be some who read this and will think to themselves "this guy has no idea how hard I work". My response would be "don't confuse effort with results". If things aren't working out, then something is going on. I and others in-the-know are here to help out, but some need to quit kidding themselves into thinking they are doing it correctly.

Replies

ninerbuff

This may come as a surprise to you, but some women don't want to look muscly, hence why they start with small weights and do more of them. And no, you don't have any idea how hard some of us work.

I cannot stand 'know it alls'. This site is supposed to be for encouragement and support.

What may be a surprise to you is that "muscly" only happens when you're in calorie surplus or your body fat levels are down to very low levels.
And to counter your point of "how hard you work" don't confuse effort with results. Most people may think they work hard, but work with a pro and get their input. Most of the time people aren't working as hard as they think.

ninerbuff

Why feel the need to knock anyone?

So it's better to pacify them with "oh you're doing so well!" when they aren't? Yeah that's great support...........supporting a non efficient way to getting to their goal.

toots99

After training some clients, I was approached by a female and her friend because they wanted some advice on losing the weight around the middle and their legs. They did admit that their eating needed help, but were GOOD with their training and wouldn't need help with that since they've trained before and have good form. Advice I gave them was to find their BMR and eat about 400 calories over it.

So while I was training another group of clients, I happened to see these to yapping away while training and doing dumbell squats. Both were using 7lbs dumbells and doing 1/4 squats. No straining, no break in talking and even laughing while doing them. The rest of their workout was pathetic as well.

Point of the story? There are many people out there who kid themselves if they really think that they are EFFECTIVELY exercising. The use of 5-7lbs dumbells, with the possible exception of curls and tricep extensions, is totally useless for bench presses, rows, shoulder presses, squats, etc. If the muscle isn't put under a decent load, YOU'RE WASTING YOUR TIME. Quit kidding yourself!

I know that there will be some who read this and will think to themselves "this guy has no idea how hard I work". My response would be "don't confuse effort with results". If things aren't working out, then something is going on. I and others in-the-know are here to help out, but some need to quit kidding themselves into thinking they are doing it correctly.

This may come as a surprise to you, but some women don't want to look muscly, hence why they start with small weights and do more of them. And no, you don't have any idea how hard some of us work.

I cannot stand 'know it alls'. This site is supposed to be for encouragement and support.

Yet again, if you read through the thread he's not knocking the people who are giving it their all...he's knocking the ones who aren't but they think they are! Jeez people...

Why feel the need to knock anyone?

Well, maybe I shouldn't have used the word "knock". Maybe I should have said "He doesn't encourage or support those who are fooling themselves." That better?

me525

AWESOME! There are a pair of "ladies" at my gym I run into every monday and they are the same way! 5 reps, then chit chat, and repeat. It works my last nerve becuase they are taking up the weights and not even really useing them!

And can we also talk about the women who show up in full make up, hair done and smelling like they used perfume instead of showering...and they wonder why they still cant' get rid of those last "stubborn" 10lbs. I walk outta my gym looking a hot mess and half drowned, and i'm finally starting to see the results of my effort:)

ninerbuff

AWESOME! There are a pair of "ladies" at my gym I run into every monday and they are the same way! 5 reps, then chit chat, and repeat. It works my last nerve becuase they are taking up the weights and not even really useing them!

And can we also talk about the women who show up in full make up, hair done and smelling like they used perfume instead of showering...and they wonder why they still cant' get rid of those last "stubborn" 10lbs. I walk outta my gym looking a hot mess and half drowned, and i'm finally starting to see the results of my effort:)

Many justify that they "work out" because they actually show up at the gym even if their workouts are more than stellar. If they sweated a little, it's proof they got their heart rates up.

me525

AWESOME! There are a pair of "ladies" at my gym I run into every monday and they are the same way! 5 reps, then chit chat, and repeat. It works my last nerve becuase they are taking up the weights and not even really useing them!

And can we also talk about the women who show up in full make up, hair done and smelling like they used perfume instead of showering...and they wonder why they still cant' get rid of those last "stubborn" 10lbs. I walk outta my gym looking a hot mess and half drowned, and i'm finally starting to see the results of my effort:)

Many justify that they "work out" because they actually show up at the gym even if their workouts are more than stellar. If they sweated a little, it's proof they got their heart rates up.

I'm seriously to the point of asking my gym to put a ban on perfumes/colonges, I am an allergic asthmic and can't tell you how many time's i've had to move from my elliptical/treadmill due to some "smelly" woman sending me into a coughing fit. There's a time and place for that and the gym ain't it.

ninerbuff

I'm seriously to the point of asking my gym to put a ban on perfumes/colonges, I am an allergic asthmic and can't tell you how many time's i've had to move from my elliptical/treadmill due to some "smelly" woman sending me into a coughing fit. There's a time and place for that and the gym ain't it.

It'd be great. It's not like you can stop breathing it if you're stuck by someone on a cardio machine for 30 minutes. At least with weight lifting you can move away.

tameko2

I appreciate the help the OP offers, but does anyone else find this a little high and mighty? I don't need to stand out and be told that very overweight people tend to not work as hard as they need. Thanks for telling me that those who fail are failing because they aren't doing the successful things right. I just need more Tim McCarver commentary.

You read between the lines wrong. If it's successful then by all means keep doing it. This is for people who think they are doing it right and AREN'T getting results but think what they are doing is correct. Some people need an actual wake up call if they continue to do what they are doing without the results.

Plus I don't think these are very overweight people - the people I see who are half-assing their workouts tend not to be obese or even very overweight. When I see obese people at the gym they are usually the ones really going for it. It takes a lot more determination for an obese person who has not been fit in years or maybe their whole lives to go to the gym so the ones that go, try their best.

The people who might as well not bother tend to be people who look like they have maybe 20-40 to lose - you know the type. I see people reading on the treadmills and ellipticals and they either have freakishly smooth gaits or they are walking extra slow in order to be able to read a page (or they are hunching over which loses half the benefits of walking anyway which can be great for your core). Its impossible to read if you are walking at a moderate to fast clip. I walk outside and I see ladies talking on their cell phones or texting.

I mean any activity is better than NOTHING but you don't need workout shoes and a gym membership if you're going to meander around the park chatting on your cell. Save your money for that cell phone bill.

ninerbuff

Plus I don't think these are very overweight people - the people I see who are half-assing their workouts tend not to be obese or even very overweight. When I see obese people at the gym they are usually the ones really going for it. It takes a lot more determination for an obese person who has not been fit in years or maybe their whole lives to go to the gym so the ones that go, try their best.

The people who might as well not bother tend to be people who look like they have maybe 20-40 to lose - you know the type. I see people reading on the treadmills and ellipticals and they either have freakishly smooth gaits or they are walking extra slow in order to be able to read a page (or they are hunching over which loses half the benefits of walking anyway which can be great for your core). Its impossible to read if you are walking at a moderate to fast clip. I walk outside and I see ladies talking on their cell phones or texting.

I mean any activity is better than NOTHING but you don't need workout shoes and a gym membership if you're going to meander around the park chatting on your cell. Save your money for that cell phone bill.

Couldn't have said it better.

Dave351

After training some clients, I was approached by a female and her friend because they wanted some advice on losing the weight around the middle and their legs. They did admit that their eating needed help, but were GOOD with their training and wouldn't need help with that since they've trained before and have good form. Advice I gave them was to find their BMR and eat about 400 calories over it.

So while I was training another group of clients, I happened to see these to yapping away while training and doing dumbell squats. Both were using 7lbs dumbells and doing 1/4 squats. No straining, no break in talking and even laughing while doing them. The rest of their workout was pathetic as well.

Point of the story? There are many people out there who kid themselves if they really think that they are EFFECTIVELY exercising. The use of 5-7lbs dumbells, with the possible exception of curls and tricep extensions, is totally useless for bench presses, rows, shoulder presses, squats, etc. If the muscle isn't put under a decent load, YOU'RE WASTING YOUR TIME. Quit kidding yourself!

I know that there will be some who read this and will think to themselves "this guy has no idea how hard I work". My response would be "don't confuse effort with results". If things aren't working out, then something is going on. I and others in-the-know are here to help out, but some need to quit kidding themselves into thinking they are doing it correctly.

This may come as a surprise to you, but some women don't want to look muscly, hence why they start with small weights and do more of them. And no, you don't have any idea how hard some of us work.

I cannot stand 'know it alls'. This site is supposed to be for encouragement and support.

There is no way on God's green earth that a woman would get "muscly" lifting ANY amount of weight. A female can go light or she can go heavy...she will not develope muscle mass like a male...period! Sure, she will tone. Sure she can lose bodyfat and "appear" to be "muscly." But the fact is a female can not NATURALLY build muscle like a male. UNLESS she takes testosterone/steroid shots for weeks!!!

If you've read thru this thread that Ninerbuff started it is about REALISTIC encouragement and support. If straight forward honesty is a problem then our country is severly screwed! The problem isn't with "know it alls." The problem is with those that won't face reality, those that won't put in the work and become victums, and those that refuse to use the greatest invention ever (the WWW) to do their own research to acquire knowledge-it's always "I heard..."

ninerbuff

Sometimes being hit with a reality check is what it takes to get some to listen. We get into our grooves and become content. But content doesn't always mean results. People do BEST when they are out of their comfort zone. That's when you find out what you're made of and how you may underestimate yourself.

ShoeGal81

No, actually I totally catch your drift. I pretty much go with the MO, if I'm not drenched in sweat, feeling like I'm dying, unable to talk OR even breathe, then I'm not really workin' it out. If I hadn't worked it out as hard as I do, I'd be all flab, considering I had a baby and gained a ton of weight in the process. I know lots of folks like that though, they swear they are really working out, but yet do NO strength training whatsoever and totally skimp it on even the cardio. But, they are only cheating themselves. After all, it won't hurt me. I'll still be hot as hell at the end of the day. lmao....

I agree If i'm not sweating i don't even consider myself as having worked out. I know that some people sweat a lot more than others but for me it's clear indication that i'm doing a good job. I also started to do strength training recently using DVD's...now i feel more comfortable and know what to do at the gym. I HAD NO CLUE BEFORE i was prob just as bad as the two girls! HA

ninerbuff

I agree If i'm not sweating i don't even consider myself as having worked out. I know that some people sweat a lot more than others but for me it's clear indication that i'm doing a good job. I also started to do strength training recently using DVD's...now i feel more comfortable and know what to do at the gym. I HAD NO CLUE BEFORE i was prob just as bad as the two girls! HA

Hopefully some that are "stuck" read this and reassess to see if what they are doing is on par with actual hard work.

Dave351

No, actually I totally catch your drift. I pretty much go with the MO, if I'm not drenched in sweat, feeling like I'm dying, unable to talk OR even breathe, then I'm not really workin' it out. If I hadn't worked it out as hard as I do, I'd be all flab, considering I had a baby and gained a ton of weight in the process. I know lots of folks like that though, they swear they are really working out, but yet do NO strength training whatsoever and totally skimp it on even the cardio. But, they are only cheating themselves. After all, it won't hurt me. I'll still be hot as hell at the end of the day. lmao....

I agree If i'm not sweating i don't even consider myself as having worked out. I know that some people sweat a lot more than others but for me it's clear indication that i'm doing a good job. I also started to do strength training recently using DVD's...now i feel more comfortable and know what to do at the gym. I HAD NO CLUE BEFORE i was prob just as bad as the two girls! HA

No one can knock your motivation and commitment to learn the exercises. Like Ninerbuff and a few others have mentioned, sweat isn't always a good indicator of percieved exertion. However, it can be, depending on the individual and what they are doing. My wife and a few of her girlfriends took the DVD route to become familiar with some exercises and equipment. Personally I think that's an awesome first step. Some people, especially woman it seems, are intimidated by the gym. Whether its the people or the equipment something seems daunting to them. But, what you will find is that if you ask the gym personnel or maybe watch some of the clients they are usually more then happy to help you out. And for saftey it is probably smarter to ask the gym staff or a knowledgeable fitness person how to use the equipment instead of possibly hurting yourself or using the equipment as a coffee shop talk spot.

As for the sweating...what comes out must go back in!! If you're losing a lot of water due to sweat you'll probably have to drink more water then you lost in sweat to stay properly hydrated!

ninerbuff

Okay for those of you that use the Stairclimber (not the Stepmill which has set rotating steps), if you are holding yourself up with your arms and doing 3 inch steps, you're kidding yourself if think you're working out hard! Those baby steps are burning less than half of the calories you would burn if you took a full 8 inch step! Regardless of how "fast" your feet are moving the calorie burn is minor, especially if you're supporting your weight with your arms. Buck up!

toots99

Okay for those of you that use the Stairclimber (not the Stepmill which has set rotating steps), if you are holding yourself up with your arms and doing 3 inch steps, you're kidding yourself if think you're working out hard! Those baby steps are burning less than half of the calories you would burn if you took a full 8 inch step! Regardless of how "fast" your feet are moving the calorie burn is minor, especially if you're supporting your weight with your arms. Buck up!

I agree! I want to stop people when I see them laying all over the machine. I hold on lightly, just for balance...just with the palm of my hand. Don't even wrap your fingers around it. If you're pulling yourself up, you're not working on your legs.

emmab0902

Soooo rep range....my trainer has me on 3 sets of 15 - part of my goal is to enhance my swimming so I wonder if he is aiming for endurance.

But I want to be stronger and defined (for strong bones too not just muscles) so I am wondering - is the 8-10 range the best for that?

ninerbuff

Soooo rep range....my trainer has me on 3 sets of 15 - part of my goal is to enhance my swimming so I wonder if he is aiming for endurance.

But I want to be stronger and defined (for strong bones too not just muscles) so I am wondering - is the 8-10 range the best for that?

To enhance your swimming you have to swim. If your trainer is trying to increase muscle endurance for it, then the 3x15 will probably be done specifically for shoulders and glutes (since kicking in swimming is more glute specific). 8x10 reps is an excellent range to combine strength and still help get a good pump to "sculpt" muscles. Definition is directly related to body fat, so that's gonna be under your nutrition.

ninerbuff

While exercising here in San Diego at my BIL's Tennis club, I watched a guy tell another guy that the best way to lose belly weight is to not eat any meat at all and do yoga. Of course I held my tongue since it's not my club, but crap like this is why people get confused about weight loss.

A.C.E. Certified Personal Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

engineman312

After training some clients, I was approached by a female and her friend because they wanted some advice on losing the weight around the middle and their legs. They did admit that their eating needed help, but were GOOD with their training and wouldn't need help with that since they've trained before and have good form. Advice I gave them was to find their BMR and eat about 400 calories over it.

So while I was training another group of clients, I happened to see these to yapping away while training and doing dumbell squats. Both were using 7lbs dumbells and doing 1/4 squats. No straining, no break in talking and even laughing while doing them. The rest of their workout was pathetic as well.

Point of the story? There are many people out there who kid themselves if they really think that they are EFFECTIVELY exercising. The use of 5-7lbs dumbells, with the possible exception of curls and tricep extensions, is totally useless for bench presses, rows, shoulder presses, squats, etc. If the muscle isn't put under a decent load, YOU'RE WASTING YOUR TIME. Quit kidding yourself!

I know that there will be some who read this and will think to themselves "this guy has no idea how hard I work". My response would be "don't confuse effort with results". If things aren't working out, then something is going on. I and others in-the-know are here to help out, but some need to quit kidding themselves into thinking they are doing it correctly.

This may come as a surprise to you, but some women don't want to look muscly, hence why they start with small weights and do more of them. And no, you don't have any idea how hard some of us work.

I cannot stand 'know it alls'. This site is supposed to be for encouragement and support.

but the OP says they're doing quarter squats. a squat isn't effective unless you go down to 90* and have proper form.

ninerbuff, i completely agree with you. i am the guy at the gym that will quietly go to someone that looks like they need a little help. mostly to the people that seem to have their hearts in the right place, and just need a little emphasis in form. i do not go up to the Bro's doing bicep curls with their whole body or shrugs. but if someone isn't doing a squat or a deadlift properly, i will help them out.

now that i think about it, i've never seen anyone at my gym do a dead lift other then myself. Makes me a little sad.

oh, and GO JETS!

vger11

You should change the title of this thread to "Make it count"

Nah, because the point is that there are people who totally kid themselves into thinking they do really workout. They already think they are "making it count" when it's further from the truth.

total self-denial...it's a riot to hear the excuses, esp while idling in the drive-thru :sad:

ninerbuff

total self-denial...it's a riot to hear the excuses, esp while idling in the drive-thru :sad:

Where I run every morning, I pass by Carl's Jr's with the drive thru side facing the side walk I run on. When I see a really overweight person ordering ( and you can hear them) I say to myself under my breath "DON'T DO IT!!!"

A.C.E. Certified Personal Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

millerll

While exercising here in San Diego at my BIL's Tennis club, I watched a guy tell another guy that the best way to lose belly weight is to not eat any meat at all and do yoga. Of course I held my tongue since it's not my club, but crap like this is why people get confused about weight loss.

WTF??? No meat? YOGA? Geez..........You tell 'em, Niner! I get sooooo tired of people coming up and asking me for advice, and when I give it to them, they say, "Oh, but I don't wanna get big" or "I don't have time for that" or whatever. Look, you either make it a priority or you don't.

So I've started telling them that I'll be happy to write up a program for them if they'd like to hire me. It's not that I'm not willing to help people for free, but this weeds out the half-assed ones. When people are paying for something, they tend to be more committed to it.

So far, no one's taken me up on the offer. Sigh...................

LorinaLynn

This may come as a surprise to you, but some women don't want to look muscly, hence why they start with small weights and do more of them.

When I do weight machines (I know, I know... I will get to the free weights) I do 30 to 80# for all the upper body stuff, depending on what I can handle on that particular machine. So that's 15 to 40# per arm.

Here's my arms in May when the most I did was 5# dumbbells plus body weight exercises. I wasn't yet able to do pushups from toes so I did modified ones from the knees. I started lifting at the gym in June or July. My arms are stronger, more defined, and I have no problem doing pushups from the toes now, but I'm no where near big or muscly.

Starting with small weights if fine! But if you're only sticking with them out of fear of becoming She-Hulk, that's a misconception.

More photos in this thread: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/404861-more-of-those-scary-scary-girl-muscles

engineman312

Soooo rep range....my trainer has me on 3 sets of 15 - part of my goal is to enhance my swimming so I wonder if he is aiming for endurance.

But I want to be stronger and defined (for strong bones too not just muscles) so I am wondering - is the 8-10 range the best for that?

stole this from one of my favorite sites:

Reps in the 1-5 range build super dense muscle and strength (called myofibrillar hypertrophy).
Reps in the 6-12 range build a somewhat equal amounts of muscular strength and muscular endurance.
Reps in the 12+ range build muscular endurance and size (this is called sarcoplasmic hypertrophy).

http://nerdfitness.com/blog/2010/02/15/how-to-build-your-own-workout-routine/

ninerbuff

bump

ninjabarbie

"I appreciate the help the OP offers, but does anyone else find this a little high and mighty? I don't need to stand out and be told that very overweight people tend to not work as hard as they need. Thanks for telling me that those who fail are failing because they aren't doing the successful things right. I just need more Tim McCarver commentary"

I have seen thin people and overweight people not workout hard. It doesn't have anything to do with the weight someone carries. It's the effort.

laneybird

Love this! Thanks for sharing

Personally, when I leave the gym I look horrible. If you walk out after a workout with every hair in place and looking like you did when you walked in... you aren't being productive.

NinjaMonkey201

If my arms and legs don't feel like noodles when I'm done working out, then I know I didn't push hard enough. :-)

pupcamper

So true - if you are going to the gym, work out, if you are going to socialize, find another spot! Any chance you could do a QUIT KIDDING YOURSELF to focus on 'healthy' food people eat rather than excercise???