Weightloss and Your Significant Other (CAUTION: Could be PG1

My boyfriend is very good looking and he has always has gorgeous girlfriends in the past. He is the perfect body weight and so are all his brothers, sisters and friends. I feel so disgusting around him and I know he thinks Im fat and should lose weight. He is very weight conscious of himself and freaks if he puts on 1 kg! He's never rude but he does subtly mention my weight and need to lose it. For example he suggests I rather eat salad than a chicken pie for lunch cause its a lot less fattening. He never calls me beautiful. Sometime says, "you look nice" or "you look pretty" and by that he is referring to the fact that i put make up on or did my hair. He always wants the lights off when we have sex and he doesn't really like me being on top! He doesn't say why but I must look so huge and disgusting from that angle!!

That is awful! No one shoud make you feel like you look huge and disgusting.

@lisajuliette I think what she's trying to say is it doesn't sound like your boyfriend treats you very nice and you deserve more than that.

I love him, he treats me well but no one can blame him for not thinking Im sexy. If i was him I wouldn't be having sex with me in the first place. I gained 4kgs this last month and he said nothing. He does love me they way I am but I wanna be smoking hot for him! Im sick of people looking at him like he's cooked in the head for dating a fat girl. I asked him to be honest with me about it and he says he loves me the way I am and I must do what makes me happy. So I asked him to be completely honest, would he find me more attractive if I lost the weight and he said yes.

If my wife got fat [never going to happen], I'd give her the opportunity to change. If not...

BYE BYE!
She and her true love [FOOD] can have a happy life together.

My bf tells me that he loves me as long as I'm happy, and I have no problem believing him. My weight doesn't affect our sex lives, but it does affect my image of our relationship. He was in the military for 4 years before we started dating, so he's pretty fit. He's been home for 6 months, and has only gained 20 pounds, but I can gain 20 pounds in 2 weeks!! When we're around his family I worry about what they think of me because I'm bigger than him (even though they're all over weight). When we go out, I worry that we look like that couple where a little guy is with a huge girl. I want to lose weight for myself, and I know that in order to do that I have to change my life style, but sometimes he doesn't understand why I can't eat the same foods that he does and why I have to go to the gym. He'll ask, "Can't you just work it off in the gym?" Lately, he's become more supportive. I think he sees that I have a negative view of myself and wants me to love myself more so that I can love him more.

The only change here was that he asked me, "As you get skinnier and skinnier does my fat make me look grosser and grosser?"

He was only half serious...that is all that has changed.

I had a little argument with my significant other the other night.
He made some comments that got me so upset. I felt that he was understimating me and didn't think I could achieve my weightloss goals . I told him that i was on maintance mode and on Jan I would start working out and losing weight again. Yet he couldn't help himself from making little jokes and such.
He told me that my metabolism is slow and that I should wake up at 6am to get it up and running.
I got so mad for I know that my metabolism has improved dramatically, otherwise i would have gained 10 pounds over the holidays.
So I had to put my foot down and tell him that I know how to lose weight and that I know what works for me ..that he may think he is helping me by suggesting and reminding me of what i need to do but honestly to me ..it came off as if he didn't trust me when I said I was going to start in Jan! I began lose qeight mode on december 26 and have lost 2 pounds already.

I keep telling myself I'm doing this for me , I know he means well ..but since he has never been fat, he can't understand just hoe far I have come since ..he didn't see me at my heaviest ..so he is not aware of what im capable of achieving.

My boyfriend is very good looking and he has always has gorgeous girlfriends in the past. He is the perfect body weight and so are all his brothers, sisters and friends. I feel so disgusting around him and I know he thinks Im fat and should lose weight. He is very weight conscious of himself and freaks if he puts on 1 kg! He's never rude but he does subtly mention my weight and need to lose it. For example he suggests I rather eat salad than a chicken pie for lunch cause its a lot less fattening. He never calls me beautiful. Sometime says, "you look nice" or "you look pretty" and by that he is referring to the fact that i put make up on or did my hair. He always wants the lights off when we have sex and he doesn't really like me being on top! He doesn't say why but I must look so huge and disgusting from that angle!!

Give me his address. :mad:

Okay Im full of questions today, if you are fat and disgusting and you feel fat and disgusting and guy/girl points out your fat and disgusting should you really get mad or motivated?

With weight loss (put bluntly): a little less blow jobs, lots more sex.

That's the only change :laugh:
HOORAY!!!!

My boyfriend is wonderful and supportive but he was the same when I was heavy. He loves it when I go to the gym because it makes me happy and he loves to see me happy.

But if I was happy fat then he still be happy too. It doesn't matter if I'm bigger, I'm still dynamite in the sack. :smokin: :laugh:

But my libido is definitely ....er....more active? when I am exercising regularly. Hehe

If you knew in your heart that you were loved unconditionally, you would not feel disgusting around him. I've always told my SO she was beautiful even when she gained 40 pounds after we got together. It wasn't just to be nice, but the fact that she's beautiful to me no matter what. No need to have the lights off, etc. To me it just seems that he can be a little more supportive. Like I said.....just my opinion based on what you wrote. I'm obviously not all knowing in regards to your relationship......

I disagree completely. My husband has always told me he loves me no matter what I weigh and I know he does love me unconditionally.

I used to weigh 240, am down to 193 and still have a ways to go. Weighing that much made me feel gross and feel like the fat lady at the circus that some how was married to the tall, thin good looking guy. I caught people giving us the "wow, I cannot believe they are a couple look" and yes all that made me feel disgusting around him.

Just because *I* felt that way does not mean that my husband does not love me. To tell someone that their SO does not love them unconditionally because they themselves feel a certain way about their appearance is just incorrect in my book.