Weightloss and Your Significant Other (CAUTION: Could be PG1

"OP gave us a brief snippet into her relationship and people felt that he was a jerk, that she was not in a good relationship, etc. Awfully fast to jump to a conclusion and OP is partially to blame because of the context in which she presented it. "

I didn't realize how I was making him out to be! No, he is lovely to me. Just cause he doesn't call me beautiful doesn't mean he is a jerk.

things are interesting His attempt at a compliment consisted of "don't lose so much weight that I can count your ribs."

He's also started walking and working out again, i asked him why and he said "I gotta be on top of things when you start getting hit on again."

My husband has always wanted me regardless of shape or size but he is a bit more aggressive about it these days. Especially if I'm wearing yoga pants! I am pretty much guaranteed attention from him if I'm wearing yoga pants. Thankfully Costco sells them so I can get a lot of them! The other thing that happened was on my end, being much more fit has increased my libido. I do feel better about how I look and that helps but I have an increased desire now and have been known to put on the yoga pants in his presence a lot more often (and not to do yoga. Well, maybe "hot" yoga. :smokin: )

Now that you mention it.........she has been wearing yoga pants a lot more often lately. I believe me and your husband's sentiments for yoga pants are quite similar.

@lisajuliette I think what she's trying to say is it doesn't sound like your boyfriend treats you very nice and you deserve more than that.

I love him, he treats me well but no one can blame him for not thinking Im sexy. If i was him I wouldn't be having sex with me in the first place. I gained 4kgs this last month and he said nothing. He does love me they way I am but I wanna be smoking hot for him! Im sick of people looking at him like he's cooked in the head for dating a fat girl. I asked him to be honest with me about it and he says he loves me the way I am and I must do what makes me happy. So I asked him to be completely honest, would he find me more attractive if I lost the weight and he said yes.

You have self esteem issues...which will be a hinderance in your weight loss journey and can lead to relationship issues. Be yourself, love yourself, respect yourself, embrace yourself and over all....do this for yourself!!!!

And as a side note...your first post made your boyfriend sound like a complete jerk. Which if what you posted was true and not painted over by your 'feel sorry for me..self esteem issues' you need to dump him. Sorry, the truth hurts. A little tough love can go a long way. Don't be a doormat.

So let me get this straight.

You, a stranger on a forum, telling her she has self-esteem issues and her boyfriend is a jerk is "tough love" but her boyfriend (who knows her intimately and told her he loved her the way she is) answering a direct question about her weight and giving her an honest answer is the one in the wrong.

Fascinating.

I did not call him a jerk.....I said that the way she worded her first post..she made him sound like a jerk. In her follow up post she came to his defense because not just I but several posters were left with a not so good impression of the boyfriend from her first post. And she clearly has self esteem issues which need to be worked out....because sometimes self esteem issues can lead to unhealthy relationships.

Cool, so how about we stop psychoanalyzing my posts now and get back to what the this thread is actually about?

OY... I really didn't want to get involved, but here's my opinion: no matter the excuses you make for the guy, "He's just being honest," "I know he means well," "He can't help but be disgusted by me," IF HE'S MAKING YOU FEEL BADLY ABOUT YOURSELF, HE'S NOT THE RIGHT PERSON FOR YOU. A real loving man will love you, 100% whether you're big, small, buck-toothed, have one eye, or an extra arm growing out of your forehead.

Self esteem goes a long way, ladies... It's time to get some.

You are absoutely right! I was very shocked to read the post from the man who would boot his wife out of his life if she gained weight. For better or for worse, in sickness and in health, and TILL DEATH DO YOU PART!!!

If your partner happens to gain weight and you find it to be a problem, being positive and helpful is key. Just like a person who is on drugs, an intervention may be necessary. I have a friend whose boyfriend gained about 100 pounds in a year. She didn't understand how, since he didn't seem to overeat in front of her. One day, she came home to find him eating a WHOLE banana cream pie in the bathroom with the door locked. He was destroying himself by eating heavily in private. She was supportive and helped him through it. They got him to a doctor. He went to a gym and got a personal trainer. She started helping him plan meals. They bought healthy food. They started going for walks every day. He saw a counselor for his stress. They aren't together anymore for other reasons, but they are still good friends because they genuinely love each other and always have.

for me more creative bedroom rounds, he still treats me the same way we can be more creative now that I am smaller.

Okay Im full of questions today, if you are fat and disgusting and you feel fat and disgusting and guy/girl points out your fat and disgusting should you really get mad or motivated?

You should leave them because you deserve better. It's one thing to lose your attraction, sometimes you can't help it, but the terms "fat and disgusting" are leave-worthy.

Honestly my husband has always adored me, I know he loves me lots, but he was not as attracted to me when I was at my biggest (which I do not think is unreasonable I was 160 pounds when we began dating, and I was 246 at my heaviest) and the naughty stuff was not as enjoyable for either of us, it was uncomfortable both physically and mentally. Even though I have only lost 37 pounds I can already tell there is a difference, I feel sexier, he feels sexier and we are both more attracted to each other, not to mention since we both started eating healthier we both have more of an urge (if you get what I mean).

my boyfriend and i are both on here an currently we (combined) have lost over 30lbs. i think we are both more attracted to the other BUT not for purely physical reasons...he has said that he feels that he is able to allow himself to be more appreciative of me because HE feels better and more confident about himself and i definitely agree with that statement and feel that same way about myself.

i think this journey has brought us closer together because we are now more aware in general about ourselves, our capabilities, what we put into our bodies, health etc etc etc
we have both made healthy steps and changes in our lives that will keep us healthier than the households we were raised in and we are both inspirations to those we work with and climb with....and sources of jealousy to some :]

i even said that we should put a clause in our vows (should we get married) stating that we will not allow ourselves or the other to go to an unhealthy place