Write to the person that annoyed you today!

I've got two of them.. sorry

Dear Dad,

Look, I am not a mind reader. You had clearly eaten a rather large breakfast earlier, so I assumed that you were much too full to enjoy a small cinnamon raisin bagel. In fact, you'd stated in the past that you didn't even care for bagels.. so why would I pester you again by offering something you'd shoot down immediately. Well I was wrong. Obviously you wanted one, and went on a tangent about how selfish I was for not even asking. The next time, I'll make sure to put on an extra one. In the meantime, why not take a long walk off a shot cliff, hm?

Spitting in your food next time,
CannibalisticVegetarian

Also,

Dear Clearly 'Non-disabled, just lazy' Brother of mines,

I want to apologize for not driving you to the store for beer earlier this evening. Clearly it was all my fault for not tending to your drunken needs. I'd spent an extra hour in the gym and am aching all over.. but that shouldn't have hindered me from waddling to the car and driving---a skill which I honestly haven't mastered completely as of yet. and you know what? I deserve being called a 'b*tch' for it! You were right on the money, bro! Good job!

Thinking of choking you when you fall asleep,
CannibalisticVegetarian

Dear Practically Everyone who Walks Into My Bank,

I appreciate your business, more than you know. But if you're not on the person's account, don't ask for the person's account info! It's not yours! And when I tell you I can't give it to you, don't give me **** about it! And while you're at it, yes you do need to fill out a DEPOSIT SLIP to make a DEPOSIT. Fully. In its entirety. Yes, that means your full name. And address. And amount you're depositing. No, you can't abbreviate your city name- don't be lazy! And business owners, for Heaven's Sake, don't wait until Friday and deposit 80 frikin' bags into our night drop! We have **** to do in the morning, people, and especially after the weekend. Be considerate!!!

Love,

Your Friendly Neighborhood Teller

Dear Bank Owner:

Could you please be quicker about my weekend deposits? I'm trying to get my **** fights going this weekend..... Have you no sympathy?! I work ALL week to **** fight, and now I have to wait until Monday. It's such a bummer.

:-) JK

Dear Co worker SERIOUSLY...Stop putting crap on my desk! I have an inbox...use it!
Dear Downstairs department coworkers... You All suck!
Dear Husband....please get a better headset for your game..I am so sick of the kids swearing on there!
Dear Drs office....I can't wait to find a new doctor...all you ladies are a bunch of jerks too!

Dear mom,
I am sorry I didn't ask if you had been drinking when you called. I know that, since you actually called, that you had. But guess what? That's your issue, I can't be bogged down by it anymore. I have my own "issues" and although I love you, I must focus on myself.

Double post

Dear Son,

You are really cute and pretty funny for the most part, I enjoy you! But I only cook 1 meal, you know this. Don't ask me every day "Mom what's for dinner" then when I tell you, you reply with "What am I eating?" Um easy answer "What I cook." We are all trying new foods, it's not gonna kill you. Don't look at it and say "EW" this drives me crazy, how do you know it's eww? You never had it! STOP gagging before you even put it in your mouth, you need to taste it and give it a chance, trust me I'm not a bad cook. But it was pretty funny when you told me that you took someone's purse my mistake, I turn to look and you have a purse in your hand, yeah I about freaked out, but when you told me you was joking and I asked where you got the purse, you said you chose it out of the treasure box at school. I still don't understand why you'd choose a purse. Silly kid! God I love you but stop being so damn picky!

Dear Directors in Texas

I realise that you are being controlled by a Mafia reject who has a main objective of making $1B by any means possible but while you are doing whatever earns you $500k a year how about thinking how badly you are screwing us over in the UK. We are knocking our proverbial balls off to keep the company making money. We are the market leaders. We rock. seriously. We have some amazing people working for us and all you are doing by penny pinching and being mean (yes, I mean in the classic sense) is driving people out who we cannot afford to lose.

You say we haven't earned our basic cost of living increase this year? Well quit flying the Exec all over the freaking world for MEETINGS!!! Business class no less!!! Use the video conferencing we have! The money we save doing the following would actually help keep staff and would improve morale:

- Global meetings...see above
- STUPID huge bonuses for directors who do SFA!
- systems we don't need
- HUGE corporate parties
- buying companies that are basically dead!

And giving sick pay wouldn't kill you either...not impressed that I had to use my holiday when I was sick with swine flu last year - not cool.

yours,

a pissed off, demotivated, annoyed and generally kick *kitten* employee.

P.S. quit hiring stupid people...that would be a great start!

Dear business partner/career in general,

as much as i appreciate you letting me come halfway across the world, work in your shop, live in your house and practically become family, sometimes i dont want to hang out with you. I see you everyday at work, i see you in the morning, at night, in afternoons, you live int he country so your about half an hour out from any normal road ,let alone stuff to do. You live in the middle of nowhere, i come from the busy city, ive left my family, my house, my friends, and put a serious relationship on the line to come over and work for you. I cannot get into the "city" unless you drive me there, as i cannot buy a car. Why can you not comprehend, that for ONE DAY out of my weekend, i do not want to hang out with you! i dont want to go shoot animals, or go rednecking around, making home made jerky or get drunk cause there is nothing to do in this silly littl country town. Dont get upset with me, when i wanna be by myself for more than 5 minutes, if your bored and have no one to talk to, go see your other friends, dont get all moany cause i wanna relaxed, chilling day by myself. Dont get upset with me cause i want to shut myself in my room for the majority of the day and be on skype with my friends and family cause i miss them. I am not here to entertain you 24/7, i am here to work, and entitiled to a weekend where i dont have to deal with your redneckeyness. Dont buy me a one perosn video game for christmas then complain that i play it to much, or sit and watch me as i play, that is weird! I need my escape sometimes, and dont need you hanging around me on my day off.
and lastly, STOP complaining about "how skinny you are, and how you used to be more muscly), i have made time to exercise, and eat right, yet you eat like s**t, dont work out, then complain about being skinny! arrrrrggggghhhhhhhh

p.s- to my career..... why cant you be in more demand in my home country so i dont have to move halfway across the world to become a proffesional.

Sincerly,
rachel

*sigh* first world problems.... i know this is nothing, but its good to vent, much better now

Dear English teacher,

Assign less homework! Your class isn't the only one we take lol

I have a few more:

Dear Tina from Louisiana:
I don't care about how much you got ripped off by the painters you hired. I don't care that you already paid them. I did hear you the first 10 times you said you sent a fax in on Dec. 8th and it's been a month and you haven't received a check. No, there isn't anyone other than our controller who can help you. He's not in today and that's not something I can control and being rude to me won't change it. No I don't know how long it will take for someone to get back to you and I'm not going to put a noose around my neck by giving you a time frame. I'm not stupid enough to fall in your trap. Please shut up and let me off the phone. I have your number, I don't need a detailed account of all your issues for the 11th time. If you keep me on the phone, I can't forward your information to get you help you stupid annoying woman!

Dear guy who owns the Montessori School we installed solar on:
No, I don't know who Mike Rodrigez is personally. No, our President isn't available right now because he's human and needs to eat too. Why do you think venting to me will do a damn thing for you? I'm a receptionist, not the President or the VP of Operations so venting to me is only going to piss me the f*** off since I just got chewed out by Tina who's a F***ing B****. Now give me your damn number for the message and let me hang up the phone!!!!!

Dear mother-in-law.
I didn't ask for your advice. I didn't ask for your suggestion or your though on it. If I want your opinion I'll ask. But if you must know, I stopped asking for advice, really talking to you about much of anything, because you can't see anything in a positive light anymore. You even can't even enjoy food anymore! Stop trying to make everything I want to do or say into something negative. I can't even say I'm going to the store to get eggs without you put a negative spin on it! Oh, and if I want to go to Vegas and stay on the strip, I AM GOING TO STAY ON THE STRIP! I want to go to Las Vegas. Not Henderson, LAS VEGAS!
Lastly, Your son is my husband. We are married. We live together and yes we share a bed at night. So why do you grimace everytime we hug or kiss. We are not making out in front of you. We are simply giving each other a quick small kiss and parting ways. You STILL make us uncomfortable if we say I love you to each other in front of you. He is a grown man with a wife. How do you think we will have children? The stork story is not real, and I know how badly you want me to start popping out little girls for you! Seriously grow up!

To everyone at my office:
You are adults. Learn to throw away your own trash and put up your own damn dishes. I am not a janitor or a dishwasher. Pick up your own S***!!!!!!!

Sincerely,

annoyed at at you.

Dear my-husband's-NOW-EX-boss,

Thank you for "terminating" my husband today.

He worked his *kitten* off for you for the past what? 13? 14 years? He was out going to jobsite after jobsite trying to retain the customers ~you~ didn't deem important enough to call back when they called you to fix a problem a week prior to him having to smooth it all out for you. And remember when you and your wife were having trouble conceiving? That was ME who sat with your wife through dinner meeting after dinner meeting, holding her hand and describing, in detail, my very personal journey through infertility. It was me who explained how it took me 4 1/2 years of going through fertility treatments, drugs, 6 surgeries and culminating in In Vitro Fertilization. Remember when she finally did get pregnant and told me "Thank god WE were able to do it as God intended and we didn't have to go through something so UNNATURAL like you did."? I bit my tongue until it bled because I have manners. And don't worry, I ~did~ notice how you both talked down to me because I couldn't be a stay at home mom like you both can afford, because I can't afford to put my career on hold because if I do, I will no longer be viable in the market when I'd need to go back to support my children's education. I don't have a trust fund like your wife. So thank you, thank you for picking my husband to let go today. I understand the other two guys had more seniority, but those two guys don't have a family to support, with three little children to take care of.

p.s. - You look like a turtle without a shell.

Next door neighbors,

The past six months of my life have been hell because of you. I am so unbelievably stressed and depressed about the constant banging and thumping that goes on well into the wee hours of almost every single night. You've made living here an absolute nightmare. It's almost 2 AM, and the wall we share is shaking with each BANG. Please move. Please, please, please move.

Dear Cooworker that is usually uber cool to work with,

YOU WERE A LAZY POS TODAY!!!!!!

If you pull this **** tomorrow i'll call your *kitten* out!

Dear Jerk Face Who Called Me Yesterday,

I understand its your job to sell your services, but when I say "Thank you for your time, we're not interested", what I really mean is "stop wasting my time and your time, we don't need the crap you're trying to sell". Don't get an attitude with me because you didn't get your way. Don't then demand to speak to my supervisor, my supervisor's supervisor, and then the CEO. You're certainly not going to get anywhere now. Be a man, accept the rejection and move on.

To all the people who stand around and watch me struggle with a heavy door while pushing a stroller:

Thanks, idiots. It's not like I'm having a problem with holding the door open and getting my son's stroller through it. Throw manners out the window and don't bother holding the door for a woman/mother/another human being. And while you are at it, glare at me for making you walk an extra two feet to the next door. Bad me for struggling so long, BAD ME! >:|

I hate that!! i use a double stroller because i babysit and they just stand there and stare at me!! im like ugh!!!!