Cheating Question for guys ! HELP

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  • oberon0124
    oberon0124 Posts: 10,527 Member
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    I called her and she didn´t pick up while he was in front of me . we couldn´t argue bc his teenage daughter was in the living room. i saw his lie in his eyes...and now all that we had planned is crushing down..and i bet he cant sleep..and im here on the computer trying to escape this bitter moment. aawwww.. i will be ok.

    He can not sleep because he knows his *kitten* is cooked is why!! That or he is trying to contatct her and get the stories straight. My friend you know him, if you saw the lies in his eyes your answer is there also. You know when he is not right and you saw it in his eyes!!! Nuf said, end it lick your wounds and go forward. There is a good man out there for you, this I am sure of!!!
  • xginanax
    xginanax Posts: 333 Member
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    What ever happened to forgiveness? Give him a chance to end anything that might be going on and you can have a fresh start. I mean if you were gonna marry him you must love him and walking away won't be easy. The vows you were gonna take say for better or for worse, if you make that commitment then you have to be willing to work through anything.

    I'm sorry but i have to disagree, how many men out there have got caught cheating, got forgiven and not done it again? I honestly dont believe in second chances, He should of thought about his actions first time round. & why should she be the one suffering wondering every night and day if he's actually faithful, if he's actually at work and not with other women.?? I say save the headache and move on with life. There's plenty of good guys out there.
  • foxygirlact
    foxygirlact Posts: 98 Member
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    What ever happened to forgiveness? Give him a chance to end anything that might be going on and you can have a fresh start. I mean if you were gonna marry him you must love him and walking away won't be easy. The vows you were gonna take say for better or for worse, if you make that commitment then you have to be willing to work through anything.


    What ever happened to him being faithful? He is the one that broke this relationship, so don;t make her feel guilty for being strong and walking away.

    If he's a cheater now, he'll be a cheater later
  • kagenw
    kagenw Posts: 260 Member
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    Yeah, I'd really like to know how he tries to explain himself out of this one. You got a cheater on your hands :( Sorry
  • adjones5
    adjones5 Posts: 938 Member
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    What ever happened to forgiveness? Give him a chance to end anything that might be going on and you can have a fresh start. I mean if you were gonna marry him you must love him and walking away won't be easy. The vows you were gonna take say for better or for worse, if you make that commitment then you have to be willing to work through anything.

    I disagree with this 100%

    Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice...
  • Cr357
    Cr357 Posts: 238
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    What ever happened to forgiveness? Give him a chance to end anything that might be going on and you can have a fresh start. I mean if you were gonna marry him you must love him and walking away won't be easy. The vows you were gonna take say for better or for worse, if you make that commitment then you have to be willing to work through anything.


    What ever happened to him being faithful? He is the one that broke this relationship, so don;t make her feel guilty for being strong and walking away.

    If he's a cheater now, he'll be a cheater later
    I stand firm on the question "What happened to forgiveness" people in relationships make mistakes. How strong could the relationship be if that's all it takes to end it?
  • valerietoxii
    valerietoxii Posts: 93 Member
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    What ever happened to forgiveness? Give him a chance to end anything that might be going on and you can have a fresh start. I mean if you were gonna marry him you must love him and walking away won't be easy. The vows you were gonna take say for better or for worse, if you make that commitment then you have to be willing to work through anything.


    What ever happened to him being faithful? He is the one that broke this relationship, so don;t make her feel guilty for being strong and walking away.

    If he's a cheater now, he'll be a cheater later

    Totally agree. It would be awful to go through a divorce in a few years if this were to happen again. So sorry! :(
  • captainmurphy
    captainmurphy Posts: 2
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    I am sorry to say this but it is just as much his fault. If he was really serious he would have taken care of this woman by now. Part of not cheating on your spouse is not putting yourself in a position for it to happen. He needed to remove the temptation my friend and he has chosen not to. I say the writing is on the wall!!

    ^^^This, but I will say: if he's never mentioned that woman's interest before, I'd be very worried. If he has, just tell him to cut her off once and for all and make sure he understands that he got way to close to the edge to be acceptable.
  • becoming_a_new_me
    becoming_a_new_me Posts: 1,860 Member
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    What ever happened to forgiveness? Give him a chance to end anything that might be going on and you can have a fresh start. I mean if you were gonna marry him you must love him and walking away won't be easy. The vows you were gonna take say for better or for worse, if you make that commitment then you have to be willing to work through anything.

    Sorry, once a cheater, always a cheater. I did the forgiveness thing many a times only to be burnt in the end. The fortunate thing for her is that she caught his sorry butt BEFORE the vows. That means for better or worse does not count...she can walk away with only the emotional pain and scars that go with a hard ending. I say better off for knowing now that before she dropped everything to move to another country and get stuck.
  • foxygirlact
    foxygirlact Posts: 98 Member
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    Yeah, I'd really like to know how he tries to explain himself out of this one. You got a cheater on your hands :( Sorry

    just to give you a heads up, some of the excuses he might make are:

    "she is obsessed with me and I thought I had it under control, but she is crazy"

    "I thought you were looking through my phone so I had a friend send me that message to test you"

    "we are just friends and she's just joking around"

    These are all ones my ex tried on me and he looked me right in the face with tears in his eyes saying he loved me and that I had got it all wrong. He lied and denied over and over again until the two of us saw him face to face together.

    Don't give him time to get his story straight or get her in on the story.
  • SuperMoniMonk
    SuperMoniMonk Posts: 467 Member
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    Honestly I think it goes both ways. She is stupid to get with someone else man if that's the case but Its also his fault for letting it happen even if its her that wants him, there's so much he can do like change his number or got you to talk to her so what i think about this, he's going along with it. Guys will always deny deny deny!!


    I agree she doesn´t owe me an explanation..it´s him ..who is supposed to love me. I just want to watch what he does if we call her .
    it´s his fault for letting it come to close.

    I agree. But if i wore you ill make sure he's not making or texting her some how to give her the thumbs up so she can back him up if she already knew he was taken. Why don't you text her off his phone when he's not around, pretend to be home and say to her "lets meet up" off-course her thinking its him, she probably will show up and then you can talk to her face to face see whats going on. Remember to delete the sent box just in-case he reads it and tells her it wasnt him texting or you can always text her of your number and pretend to be your partner by saying "hey its (name, his name not yours) sorry ran out of credits, im texting from a mates number, was wondering if you wanted to meet up today."

    or you can just leave his *kitten*. :)

    i sent her a message but she did not reply ..he was asleep and i could´t help it ..i had to face him. If i had pacience i would have just watched him for a few days and monitor his cell. too late now..it´s over ...thank you alll of you ..! thank you
  • adjones5
    adjones5 Posts: 938 Member
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    What ever happened to forgiveness? Give him a chance to end anything that might be going on and you can have a fresh start. I mean if you were gonna marry him you must love him and walking away won't be easy. The vows you were gonna take say for better or for worse, if you make that commitment then you have to be willing to work through anything.


    What ever happened to him being faithful? He is the one that broke this relationship, so don;t make her feel guilty for being strong and walking away.

    If he's a cheater now, he'll be a cheater later
    I stand firm on the question "What happened to forgiveness" people in relationships make mistakes. How strong could the relationship be if that's all it takes to end it?

    How strong could the relationship be if he is already doing this shady ****?
  • happyhiram
    happyhiram Posts: 89
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    If you were searching through his phone, there obviously wasn't much trust there to begin with. You should probably sever.
  • foxygirlact
    foxygirlact Posts: 98 Member
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    i sent her a message but she did not reply ..he was asleep and i could´t help it ..i had to face him. If i had pacience i would have just watched him for a few days and monitor his cell. too late now..it´s over ...thank you alll of you ..! thank you

    I'm so sorry you are going through this. I know it doesn't feel like it right now, but you will survive this and things will get better. It is devastating and you'll need time to grieve, but you will get through this and you'll eventually be glad you found out now rather than later.
  • becoming_a_new_me
    becoming_a_new_me Posts: 1,860 Member
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    If you were searching through his phone, there obviously wasn't much trust there to begin with. You should probably sever.

    She already said she picked up the phone thinking hers had gone off. I don't think this is a trust issue, I think this is a P*&#y and C*@K issue
  • ogosun
    ogosun Posts: 175 Member
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    Honestly I think it goes both ways. She is stupid to get with someone else man if that's the case but Its also his fault for letting it happen even if its her that wants him, there's so much he can do like change his number or got you to talk to her so what i think about this, he's going along with it. Guys will always deny deny deny!!



    finally a "smart women"..... your totally right on....

    aww thanks girl :) but i agree with what you said too and the fact she said that he deleted his text msgs, sounds a bit dodgy. I mean why would you, if you had nothing to hide right. ?
    YES YES AND YOU GOT IT... i love it when smart women get together... LOL.....
  • happyhiram
    happyhiram Posts: 89
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    If you were searching through his phone, there obviously wasn't much trust there to begin with. You should probably sever.

    She already said she picked up the phone thinking hers had gone off. I don't think this is a trust issue, I think this is a P*&#y and C*@K issue

    Ah, my mistake. I must have missed that.

    But obviously if she thinks he's cheating (he probably is) then it IS an issue of trust. How is she to trust him since this is happening? Hm?
  • SuperMoniMonk
    SuperMoniMonk Posts: 467 Member
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    He just came to the study calling me sweet names like nothing happen. I know him and I know he is going to act like nothing is has happend ...and he will try to make it seem that im exageratting . Make me doubt myself and make me dizzy with guilt. He is a smart man and will totally try to play it cool to try to break me.

    If I tell him i need a break ...he would play along with it ..i know , just so he seems to have nothing to hide. i know it .
  • wmass1
    wmass1 Posts: 29 Member
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    Huge red flag! I'd be very suspicious!
  • SuperMoniMonk
    SuperMoniMonk Posts: 467 Member
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    If you were searching through his phone, there obviously wasn't much trust there to begin with. You should probably sever.

    She already said she picked up the phone thinking hers had gone off. I don't think this is a trust issue, I think this is a P*&#y and C*@K issue

    Ah, my mistake. I must have missed that.

    But obviously if she thinks he's cheating (he probably is) then it IS an issue of trust. How is she to trust him since this is happening? Hm?


    i have always believed that trust and privacy is important in an relacionship. tonight..one second i was having a laughter attack ...the room was dark..he was falling asleep..i reach out to where the phone were and once i got to the den i threw it on the couch and noticed it was his not mine. grabbed it looked at the time ..and noticed a name that made gave me that --mmmmm..... moment.

    the phone was locked and i couldn´t seem to unlock it ..and was ready to give up...also didnt want him to see that i was messing with his phone...but something pushed me to try and try.
    and there were those two text .

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