Cheating Question for guys ! HELP
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"Cheating Question for guys! HELP!"
No problem.
FIRST: Make sure your phone is clean! She'll be looking for any excuse to flip through that thing.
SECOND: Make sure the women in your life know not to text and call you "babe".
Wait... I think the title confused me...0 -
Don't worry about it. Just have an open marriage. (not being sarcastic).
He's not worth throwing away. You just need to have an honest discussion and act like adults.0 -
"Cheating Question for guys! HELP!"
No problem.
FIRST: Make sure your phone is clean! She'll be looking for any excuse to flip through that thing.
SECOND: Make sure the women in your life know not to text and call you "babe".
Wait... I think the title confused me...
YOU and I are on the same page.
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Any man who says "If you can't trust me then our relationship is over" (or anything similar) is cheating. They are twisting it around, putting you on the defensive and trying to make a break-up your fault. Don't fall for it.
THIS. THIS. THIS.0 -
And WE are here for you and have your best interests at heart. You aren't alone! You have a whole site of people rallying behind your health. Not just your physical health, but your happiness too!0
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He's garbage. If you have a shred of self-respect... toss him. Now. You caught him red-handed.
One text not enough to toss him.
What if the text was sent to the wrong person?
What if he wants an open relationship?
What if he's afraid to get married and just acting out of the norm?
Be HUMAN about it. Take a breath, and treat him with respect. He is human too after all.0 -
Before you make a decision I think you should ask him to get you his phone records. I wouldn't be able to believe anything he has to say without some proof. By getting his phone records you'll be able to see exactly what has been going on between the two of them. If he doesn't agree to give them to you, I think you have to at least postpone the wedding until you figure things out.0
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i asked him more and he started getting aggravated . Then fine you cant trust ..i want nothing with you ..and he waited for my reaction.
If he said those things, it to me feels like a strange reaction. Shouldn't it be more like him trying to get you to trust him or comming accross anguished that your misunderstanding him? instead he's chosen the well fine guess it wont work responce. sounds like he's trying to blame it falling apart on you so he can walk away with a clear concsence because he didn't end it.
If this is really whats he's doing then he's a coward who thought he could have his cake and eat it. don't let him do this to you, don't let him blame his doubts , insecurites and failing on you, from what ive read your stonger than that.
He needs to man up one way or the other, if somehow it was a big misunderstanding he should man up and fight for you for all he's worth, if its not he should man up and be honest and face the music.0 -
The fact that you are willing to end that quickly tells me there is moe going on and that you are using this as an excuse. Trust your gut.0
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Seriously i do not understand why people cheat? Why don't they just break up and be with the person they lust after... is it really that hard? or am I just slow in the head..
All I have to say is be glad this happened now and not after your married, HUGS0 -
Yep, sorry dear..I would say wedding is off and a year down the road you'll realize it's for the better. You'll find someone who actually deserves to spend the rest of their life with you 0
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Maybe "massage" is code for "discussing work-related matters".0
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I am a *major* flirt. I am engaged and pretty happy with my fiance. I have some friends, even pals on here, who'd I give my number and text each other now and then, we support and try to cheer-up one another. I have some female friends that call me babe, honey, suga' daddy, papi, and other pet names that might be misconstrued as sexual without the right context. Those names do not mean I am messing around with any of them!
I'd say talk to him. Hear him out, if you don't trust his version, do some digging around. Just don't jump to conclusions. And maybe you should start offering massages to him, he might take his friend on the offer...the point is, strengthen the relationship through communication, don't weaken it with jealousy.0 -
Maybe "massage" is code for "discussing work-related matters".
That's what my fiance said it meant.0 -
My husband cheated on me....I decided at first to believe him that nothing was going on when i found the texts....do not be like me...nip that **** in the bud now....get her number...call her and find out the truth......0
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I'm so sorry you had to find a text like that. *big squeezes* I would call the HO-me wrecker and confront her. But I'm an aggressive personality so it's in my nature.
Why blame her?? Does she know he is engaged??? maybe maybe not... but he sure knows!!!!
Don't do it!! problems now become HUGE after about 12 years... i know....0 -
What ever happened to forgiveness? Give him a chance to end anything that might be going on and you can have a fresh start. I mean if you were gonna marry him you must love him and walking away won't be easy. The vows you were gonna take say for better or for worse, if you make that commitment then you have to be willing to work through anything.
I am not trying to say this is applicable to this situation, but sometimes forgiveness and trying again is important. I forgave my now husband, but he never tried to hide it when he was messaging a girl through Facebook and it was her that initiated it. (it was wall to wall, not private messaging, but the point was he had promised never to speak to the skank again). He was apologetic, honest about it, and just came clean and said he knows he should have blocked her sooner. He was accountable and made me a promise that he has not broken since. That's when it's acceptable to forgive.
When there's private texting and he's acting suspicious and sneaky, that's when the forgiveness ends. If he's lying now, he'll lie later too. He doesn't seem to be respecting her feelings, or her as person at all if you ask me. Forgiveness it too much to ask for if he's not willing to even be honest.0 -
After reading this I'm wondering Am I the only person who has a lock code on their phone?0
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do not listen to this guy ^ "offer him a massage or he'll take someone else up on their offer" like it would be justified?! BARF!I am a *major* flirt. I am engaged and pretty happy with my fiance. I have some friends, even pals on here, who'd I give my number and text each other now and then, we support and try to cheer-up one another. I have some female friends that call me babe, honey, suga' daddy, papi, and other pet names that might be misconstrued as sexual without the right context. Those names do not mean I am messing around with any of them!
I'd say talk to him. Hear him out, if you don't trust his version, do some digging around. Just don't jump to conclusions. And maybe you should start offering massages to him, he might take his friend on the offer...the point is, strengthen the relationship through communication, don't weaken it with jealousy.0 -
After reading this I'm wondering Am I the only person who has a lock code on their phone?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH0 -
He has children? From a previous marraige? Did they get divorced? Is he a widower? If divorced, Why? If he cheated in the past, he is more likely to do it again, IMO.0
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Really?
Are you retarded?
Even if he hasn't slept with this chick something isn't right.
Confronting her makes you look stupid btw. She might not know or knows and gets off on it.
Move on.
Nothing good can come of it.
I think maybe if his response was "I dont think my girl would appericate reading this back off" would be the only reason to stay.0 -
If this guy can't even cheat on his fiance without getting caught, its going to be a lot tougher when they are married. He better get his act together.0
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girls or guys !
I just read this text on my fiance´s cell
´. You must be tired babe ..from working all day..but next time I see you I will give you a nice massage..-;
I say no more wedding .
he says he has nothing with her ..and she is the one wanting to hook up with him.
I´m sitting here typing but truly I´m very dissapointed.
He's cheating. If he's not, he's willing to do so.0 -
For Realz.If this guy can't even cheat on his fiance without getting caught, its going to be a lot tougher when they are married. He better get his act together.
Only the pro's can stay clean in the majors.0 -
I've been through a similar sitution (except I had been married for 2 years at that point). My husband was sending FB messages back and forth to his ex who lives in another state. When I found out I asked to see the rest of the messages but he deleted them before I could see them. I decided to stay with him, but two months later I was transferred about 4 hours away for training (I was in the Navy). Long story short, he did it again with the same girl, except I got to read to messages this time. They were awful, it was the roughest period in my life. BUT He ended them before I even found out about them. He knew what he was doing was wrong.
I decided to stay with him because I was three months pregnant when I found out about the second time, and I can honestly say I'm glad I did. We went to marriage counseling and now, 3 years later, have beautiful boys together and I'm the happiest I've ever been.
I realize this is not the popular view, and honestly, I always said I would never stay with a cheater...until I was cheated on. It's hard to look at someone else's situation and give advice because so many factors come into play.
I say just go with your gut. Also, If you stay with him you have to accept that this happened and move on. For his sake and yours. If you feel like you will always be checking his phone or e-mail etc., because you are worried what he is doing behind your back...It's probably not worth all extra worry and stress you will be putting yourself through.
best of luck!0 -
What ever happened to forgiveness? Give him a chance to end anything that might be going on and you can have a fresh start. I mean if you were gonna marry him you must love him and walking away won't be easy. The vows you were gonna take say for better or for worse, if you make that commitment then you have to be willing to work through anything.
Are you serious?? They were ENGAGED. That's a commitment......a promise to marry, to be faithful.
If he cannot keep his commitment now, it's time to get out!0 -
i've been in just about this exact situation. the "babe" and "next time i see you" show me enough to know that it's not just freinds..whether it's gotten to the point of more than talking or not. You calling her will do nothing and niether will you guys calling her together - all he has to do is tell her ahead of time that you're going to call and play along. trust me.0
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we talk ..he had known her from way before and it was wrong to keep in touch with her.
i asked him more and he started getting aggravated . Then fine you cant trust ..i want nothing with you ..and he waited for my reaction.
I was said this was not my fault and if that girl felt she could freely send him texts like that .it because she had allowed it to happend.
did she care of course not...and she didn't bc he does not !
I'm packing ...i need to get out of here.
Run for the effing hills!! I just moved out of my ex's a month ago for this same reason. This is not the first time either. For some reason it is OK to go over a friends (male) house and watch movies and send texts and hide stuff. Ummmm...... no its not! There goes 12 years of my life, don't make the same mistake!0 -
i've been in just about this exact situation. the "babe" and "next time i see you" show me enough to know that it's not just freinds..whether it's gotten to the point of more than talking or not. You calling her will do nothing and niether will you guys calling her together - all he has to do is tell her ahead of time that you're going to call and play along. trust me.
So true ^^^^^^ take it from someone who has been there.0
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