Why I am not going to be posting on help questions anymore.

chefkev
chefkev Posts: 155 Member
edited October 7 in Chit-Chat
There are so many people on here that talk as if the way they are telling people to eat is the only way. I am fed up with people answering newbies questions with a condiscending tone. I eat the way I do because it works for my body. People out there are asking for help for a particular diet plan and people who don't like it blast them. Guess what? that wasn't what they asked!

If they want to know about how you eat, they will ask for that kind of help!

Just about ANY major diet plan is better than taking diabetes pills for the rest of your life! So, back off "know-it-alls"!
These newbies don't need the attitude. They probably feel sheepish enough just coming on here. They probably have been teased and taunted for years, just to come here and be talked down to. Great, that's what they need.

So many people like to say "it's a published fact that...." Really? You want to go there? It was also a public fact that you had to burn witches. It was also "Medically" correct to blood let. So, don't give me your lecture about this stuff.

If you want to help people, do so in a polite way. Answer their questions. Don't bash their diet. Be constructive in your criticism.
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Replies

  • AwesomelyAmber
    AwesomelyAmber Posts: 1,617 Member
    Here, here! :drinker:
  • SinIsIn
    SinIsIn Posts: 1,865 Member
    The key to losing weight is adopting a sound, sustainable eating plan and then sticking with it, rather than opting for some wacko quick fix diet.

    two-cents.jpg
  • Sidesteal
    Sidesteal Posts: 5,510 Member
    I do agree with your premise about being polite when replying to questions, absolutely. People can get too caught up in their own agenda and reply quite rudely and it turns people away from the forums.

    But at the same time, there's certainly an overwhelming amount of dietary myth out there that only serves to complicate an already frustrating process. I think it's important to educate people.

    If someone posts the Red Scarf No Cheese Diet, where they are to do the following:

    1) Eat at a calorie deficit.
    2) Exercise
    3) Don't eat cheese
    4) Wear a red scarf all day.

    I'll be quick to point out which of the above items are important and which ones aren't necessary, regardless of whether or not they asked that information.

    But, as it pertains to your post, I'll try to be polite when doing so.
  • ok... question.. if you are saying that there are many people who are rude and unhelpful i'm assuming that when you answer questions you are not soooo if you are giving the advice or answering questions the way people are asking for.... why would you stop? not trying to be rude... just confused.
  • teagin2002
    teagin2002 Posts: 1,900 Member
    ty for posting this, I appreciate it :flowerforyou:
  • oliviapeacock
    oliviapeacock Posts: 13 Member
    I'll be wearing my red scarf today. :0)
  • HMD7703
    HMD7703 Posts: 761 Member
    Internet Know-it-alls... gotta love them!
  • TheFitHooker
    TheFitHooker Posts: 3,357 Member
    Thanks, I totally agree! I won't be asking for help on the open forum. I think the people on my friends list respect me enough to help me. I come here and think I can get good advice while yes there is good advice but the negative advice or the negative rude remarks throws the good of the thread off. So I will either talk to my doctor, talk to my friends list, or talk to my family who is in the medical field. I learned my lesson yesterday :)
  • chefkev
    chefkev Posts: 155 Member
    Red Scarf... I'll have to add that to my plan. How man calories are in a red scarf?

    The main point, which is hard to say through this alka seltzer cold medicine fog, is that these folks are already beaten down.

    I remember when I started my plan, I actually left and started a new account. People just tore my diet apart. It is not "balanced" or "sensible". My body isn't balanced or sensible. My eating has to compensate for the way my body processes food. It is a very individual thing. I LOVE fruit. I don't eat it. I can't handle the sugar. Same with breads and grains.

    I eat the hell out of some veggies and proteins. I get all the nutrients I will ever need. But it isn't what most would call balanced. And I am super OK with that. I'm not asking for help on my plan.

    I was reading on here today that some people were struggling with their plans and asking for help. Instead, folks were just saying things like "you shouldn't do that" or "that's not good" not offering real help or guidence.

    I'm sure people on here would look at my plan and say that I am going to die. But like I said, I am under some great care. I know what I am doing and trying to accomplish. I'm super healthy, and it is because I listened to my body and it took time, but found out that I have to eat a crazy diet to make everything work right. 60% Fat, 30%protein, 10% Carb, 1500 cal is my plan. Most people think it is insane. But for me it works. My blood work shows that it works for me. My Dr is 110% behind me and loves the fact that we figured out how MY body works. This took months to figure out, many blood tests (down to finding a Vit D deficiency) and careful planning. But I know if posted this as a question, I would have 30 people ripping it apart. I would probably just leave and eat a box of twinkies.
  • Elizabeth_C34
    Elizabeth_C34 Posts: 6,376 Member
    People who take the time to post actual peer-reviewed scientific articles are not doing so to be pompous jerks but to dispel a lot of the "broscience" or "pseudoscience" that gets tossed about here. If people are to make a good descision about their weight loss and health, they need to be informed with reasonable scientific information, not articles with no scientific backing or very poor scientific backing.

    It's a frequent thing that people like you come on here and say, "Well, I can find a study that says (insert ridiculous statement here)" yet you never do.

    I agree that some people get snarky with their responses. I'm guilty of it myself, but bashing people for posting actual scientifically-based advice is silly, IMHO.
  • tchrnmommy
    tchrnmommy Posts: 342 Member
    Here, here! :drinker:
  • mrschappet
    mrschappet Posts: 488 Member
    I totally agree.. not one diet is for everyone... People ask me what I do and I tell them, but I always end with... this is what works FOR ME..

    Please don't stop giving your advice though...it just might be that one answer that someone is looking for <3:flowerforyou:
  • chefkev
    chefkev Posts: 155 Member
    ok... question.. if you are saying that there are many people who are rude and unhelpful i'm assuming that when you answer questions you are not soooo if you are giving the advice or answering questions the way people are asking for.... why would you stop? not trying to be rude... just confused.

    Because I end up getting too P/O'd to answer the questions the way they should be answered and I end up fuming about the rude people. Better for me to just not read those threads.

    The poor folks asking the questions get beat up, confused, and then doubt what they are doing, so they end up doing nothing.
  • rossi02
    rossi02 Posts: 549 Member
    Dang it.. would a blue scarf work as well, or do I have to go out and buy a red one now??
  • sonjawi
    sonjawi Posts: 46
    Unfortunately this is true for any kind of discussion on the internet. You will always find people who think they have the "truth, the only truth, and the complete truth" booked. It helps to put a mental ignore on such fellas and simply enjoy the people who are not like that :).

    What gets me, additionally to being rude, is that many of those who believe they know it all are posting absolute bs...pardon my language. I don't know where they get their information from, but much of it seems to be more esoteric than scientific, or they post about things that might have been true 10 years ago, but have changed with time (My person favourite pet peeve post was the one about "frozen diet foods" were tons of people were talking about "No real food" and "too much sodium". If they would have actually read some of the nutrition labels of the new generations, e.g. healthy choice steamers, they would know that they changed a lot over the last 2 years).

    Don't let it keep from posting please. Just filter the answers with the "sounds human" and "sounds like a beep" glasses :). Else nobody will learn anything anymore. I enjoy reading questions I myself might not have thought of, and I am very selective in what answers I accept. But then I have been on the internet more than 18 years, I guess that makes you find a strategy to deal with such people.

    Oh yes...red scarf...is that low carb, high protein or is it fat free fiber rich? And what is the best way to prepare it? :tongue:
  • stormieweather
    stormieweather Posts: 2,549 Member
    I'd like to add that it would be helpful if the advice people offer is scientifically proven and not just something they heard or read on a blog or board somewhere. It's fine to say...this worked for me...but to imply that that is the ONLY way to do it because it's a proven fact is not accurate...unless of course, it IS a proven fact (with studies and experts to back it up).
  • chefkev
    chefkev Posts: 155 Member
    People who take the time to post actual peer-reviewed scientific articles are not doing so to be pompous jerks but to dispel a lot of the "broscience" or "pseudoscience" that gets tossed about here. If people are to make a good descision about their weight loss and health, they need to be informed with reasonable scientific information, not articles with no scientific backing or very poor scientific backing.

    It's a frequent thing that people like you come on here and say, "Well, I can find a study that says (insert ridiculous statement here)" yet you never do.

    I agree that some people get snarky with their responses. I'm guilty of it myself, but bashing people for posting actual scientifically-based advice is silly, IMHO.

    I so seldom see any posted advice that has any scientific backing. Even then, the articles are usually so biased to one particular eating plan that it isn't scientific at all. I can find article after article supporting one side af a particular diet and find the same number to refute it.

    If I get an article against a low carb plan from a magazine called "Low Fat Living" (just made it up, it may or may not exist, just an example) I can tell you before reading it, it will bash low carb plans and promote a low fat one. It is because they are selling magazines.
  • runnercheryl
    runnercheryl Posts: 1,314 Member
    I think a lot of it, particularly on forums such as this where people are trying to learn what works for them, comes down to people asking advice and then taking the response the wrong way. I don't respond with science, only opinion, and I try to make it clear my posts are my own opinions and experiences.

    I always try to offer useful advice, and my approach is usually:

    - Offer my thoughts
    - Ask someone a question that makes them think about their own beliefs and question their aims
    - Give my opinion on what I would do as a solution

    Sometimes, I get to point two and ask someone a question, and they take it the wrong way and think I'm being critical. In reality, I'm just trying to understand their way of thinking.

    For example, I might say (of the Red Scarf No Cheese Diet).

    If I were you, I wouldn't worry about wearing the red scarf. Unless you're burning calories through overheating, it's not helping your weight loss at all. What made you think the red scarf would be any different to a blue scarf, or none at all? Take the scarf off, and see if your results change dramatically - I think you'll find they won't!
  • CaptainGordo
    CaptainGordo Posts: 4,437 Member
    So many people like to say "it's a published fact that...." Really? You want to go there? It was also a public fact that you had to burn witches. It was also "Medically" correct to blood let. So, don't give me your lecture about this stuff.
    Really? You're comparing today's science to knowledge from a century ago? :huh:

    Often, many of us provide facts in the hope of helping someone avoid myths and fallacies that have lead many to failure in the past. How is that not helpful? Often, the truth is not what one wants to hear, and they get buttsore about it. Ignorance is bliss, I guess.
  • Elizabeth_C34
    Elizabeth_C34 Posts: 6,376 Member
    People who take the time to post actual peer-reviewed scientific articles are not doing so to be pompous jerks but to dispel a lot of the "broscience" or "pseudoscience" that gets tossed about here. If people are to make a good descision about their weight loss and health, they need to be informed with reasonable scientific information, not articles with no scientific backing or very poor scientific backing.

    It's a frequent thing that people like you come on here and say, "Well, I can find a study that says (insert ridiculous statement here)" yet you never do.

    I agree that some people get snarky with their responses. I'm guilty of it myself, but bashing people for posting actual scientifically-based advice is silly, IMHO.

    I so seldom see any posted advice that has any scientific backing. Even then, the articles are usually so biased to one particular eating plan that it isn't scientific at all. I can find article after article supporting one side af a particular diet and find the same number to refute it.

    If I get an article against a low carb plan from a magazine called "Low Fat Living" (just made it up, it may or may not exist, just an example) I can tell you before reading it, it will bash low carb plans and promote a low fat one. It is because they are selling magazines.

    I'm not talking about articles written by some fitness guru in a magazine, but ones published in peer-reviewed scientific journals, the ones actual scientists publish in that have to be reviewed and vetted by their peers as scientifically sound. You can find many of these at PubMed, JStor, etc.

    Examples:

    Double-blind placebo-controlled study on HCG and weight loss: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/2405506
    Study done on metabolic rates of low-carb vs. high-carb dieters: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/20107198
    Comparison study of low-fat and low-carb diet plans (with energy restriction): http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/15941879

    These are all done by actual scientists doing actual studies, not someone writing an article for a magazine. You can find some conflicting information in the scientific literature, but it's much harder to do as most of these have been repeated over time and vetted by their colleagues to ensure that the studies and the statistical analysis was done correctly (click links on the right of each article to find followup studies).

    Science, contrary to popular opinion, is NOT done by journalists or the schmucks who write for most fitness/nutrition magazines.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    So many people like to say "it's a published fact that...." Really? You want to go there? It was also a public fact that you had to burn witches. It was also "Medically" correct to blood let. So, don't give me your lecture about this stuff.
    Really? You're comparing today's science to knowledge from a century ago? :huh:

    Often, many of us provide facts in the hope of helping someone avoid myths and fallacies that have lead many to failure in the past. How is that not helpful? Often, the truth is not what one wants to hear, and they get buttsore about it. Ignorance is bliss, I guess.

    Bloodletting is actually still practiced in modern western medicine, actually. Next time you're in a pharmacy, ask to see the leeches.
  • CaptainGordo
    CaptainGordo Posts: 4,437 Member
    I so seldom see any posted advice that has any scientific backing. Even then, the articles are usually so biased to one particular eating plan that it isn't scientific at all. I can find article after article supporting one side af a particular diet and find the same number to refute it.
    Look harder. Some of us do our due diligence to post reputable information.
  • Acg67
    Acg67 Posts: 12,142 Member
    I so seldom see any posted advice that has any scientific backing. Even then, the articles are usually so biased to one particular eating plan that it isn't scientific at all. I can find article after article supporting one side af a particular diet and find the same number to refute it.
    Look harder. Some of us do our due diligence to post reputable information.

    Does relaying info from Dr Oz count?
  • infamousmk
    infamousmk Posts: 6,033 Member
    OP, if you have food sensitivities to sugars or grains, then your situation isn't the 'norm', and yes, people are going to criticize your diary if they don't know all of the facts. I just skimmed this thread, but it sounds to me like you're upset about the way you have been treated because of your special dietary needs, and you're projecting that on to others in the forum, essentially defending them when they may or may not even need it.


    Here's the thing. It's the internet. Everyone has an opinion, and we all get to share them. Some people share nicely, others are *kitten*. The onus is on the recipient of the opinions to determine what is useful and what they will do with the information.
  • Elizabeth_C34
    Elizabeth_C34 Posts: 6,376 Member
    I so seldom see any posted advice that has any scientific backing. Even then, the articles are usually so biased to one particular eating plan that it isn't scientific at all. I can find article after article supporting one side af a particular diet and find the same number to refute it.
    Look harder. Some of us do our due diligence to post reputable information.

    Does relaying info from Dr Oz count?

    ... only if Montel backs it up.
  • _binary_jester_
    _binary_jester_ Posts: 2,132 Member
    The internets has rude people? Someone notify 4chan!
  • chefkev
    chefkev Posts: 155 Member
    Really? You're comparing today's science to knowledge from a century ago? :huh:

    Often, many of us provide facts in the hope of helping someone avoid myths and fallacies that have lead many to failure in the past. How is that not helpful? Often, the truth is not what one wants to hear, and they get buttsore about it. Ignorance is bliss, I guess.

    Yes I am. And in 100 years people will look back and say that we are in the dark ages. And it will continue until humans no longer exist. What is not helpful is the condescending attitude that often comes along with it. Much like the attitude you are displaying in your post. That is exactly what the newbies do not need. And yet here you are trying to do it to me. But I know what I am saying and what I mean.
    Your "facts" may not agree with my "facts." They both might have "scientific" testing behind them, and they may totally disagree with each other.
    You think I am ignorant? That is the exact point of this thread. Thank you for proving my point.
  • If anyone is looking for individual nutritional advice, they should be going to see a nutritionist or their doctor. Otherwise, if they come online and ask questions, they are going to get answers thats more suited for other people. The internet is loaded with a lot of information, people need to search for answers on more reputable sites: webmd, mayoclinic, etc. And the best answers come from a nutritionist/doctor that sees you face-to-face.
  • chefkev
    chefkev Posts: 155 Member
    So many people like to say "it's a published fact that...." Really? You want to go there? It was also a public fact that you had to burn witches. It was also "Medically" correct to blood let. So, don't give me your lecture about this stuff.
    Really? You're comparing today's science to knowledge from a century ago? :huh:

    Often, many of us provide facts in the hope of helping someone avoid myths and fallacies that have lead many to failure in the past. How is that not helpful? Often, the truth is not what one wants to hear, and they get buttsore about it. Ignorance is bliss, I guess.

    Bloodletting is actually still practiced in modern western medicine, actually. Next time you're in a pharmacy, ask to see the leeches.

    Yes, but not like it was to cure everything. George Washington was bled because he had a throat infection. It killed him.
  • Acg67
    Acg67 Posts: 12,142 Member
    Your "facts" may not agree with my "facts." They both might have "scientific" testing behind them, and they may totally disagree with each other.

    That is when you look at the "scientific" testing behind both sides and find out about the study design, potential flaws and weaknesses of the study etc etc and you will find more often then not one side is backed with flimsy or junk science and the other with solid evidence supporting it.
This discussion has been closed.