Why I am not going to be posting on help questions anymore.

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  • Cara8359
    Cara8359 Posts: 15 Member
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    Obviously what you're doing is working, considering your weight loss. I don't know that anyone else could eat what or how I eat and lose weight. However, I also think that most of us have read so many diet books, logged in to so many diet sites, and been a work in progress for the majority of our lives to the point where we are all "experts" with the advice - but we don't follow it ourselves or we wouldn't be here.

    There are probably a lot of people who will get a lot out of your posts; don't let the few nay-sayers deter you from voicing your opinion and following your own course. You are a winner - and the proof is in your own result. Stay positive, and keep posting!
  • Legalchica
    Legalchica Posts: 462
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    ok... question.. if you are saying that there are many people who are rude and unhelpful i'm assuming that when you answer questions you are not soooo if you are giving the advice or answering questions the way people are asking for.... why would you stop? not trying to be rude... just confused.

    Because I end up getting too P/O'd to answer the questions the way they should be answered and I end up fuming about the rude people. Better for me to just not read those threads.

    The poor folks asking the questions get beat up, confused, and then doubt what they are doing, so they end up doing nothing.

    So rather than setting aside your irritation and actually helping people you let them have nothing but the crap? How does that help? really leaves you on the same level as those who are rude. you don't help either.
  • magdamccraven
    magdamccraven Posts: 75 Member
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    I agree with the OP. Thanks for posting although it seems we have a few folks on the forums who need to flaunt their "superior intelligence" and they have quite a few supporters, who will most likely shoot your whole sentiment down.

    I can't help but wonder what they are doing all day long with all those brains that they have time to haunt the mfp forums.

    Being nice couldn't possibly hurt.
  • Nsdnjbl
    Nsdnjbl Posts: 66 Member
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    I had someone jump on my case recently, for making a mere suggestion. My tone was not mean, malicious, or , " you-better-or-else"...it was just a suggestion. If it continues, I will stick to just myself and the couple real people I know on here.

    Sometimes people read into "the tone" when, it's really not degrading. It's very hard on the internet to know a persons true intentions, but we should look out for the best in everyone.
  • HawaiianStitchLuver
    HawaiianStitchLuver Posts: 32
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    Exactly, be polite and provide all of the facts. Support is what everyone on here is looking for.
  • tiamaria3
    tiamaria3 Posts: 92 Member
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    And this would be the reason i don't ask alot on here,being someone who just started i've noticed alot of posts where answers were not just not nice! :frown: mind you we are all entitled to our opinion but sometimes some things are better left unsaid

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  • jjclem07
    jjclem07 Posts: 127 Member
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    Thank you for posting this. I never understood why some feel it is their right to tear others down. I have had to remove a few people from my friend list for that reason. I needed the support when I first started MFP as many others do.

    "I am just keeping it real. If they didn't want the truth then they shouldn't have ask that question!"...she got let go the very day I read this line. They person just asked a newbie question and got slammed by this MFPer instead of supported and then this line was added after that.

    That is not what I am about here, I need support and give support in return.

    I am very proud of my friends list. Supportive people who love to give and receive in return.
  • Vonnie2006
    Vonnie2006 Posts: 246 Member
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    Instead of not responding, maybe messaging that person with your answer/suggestion might prove less stressful.I totally agree with you. I've "wanted" to post specific questions but after witnessing bashings in other threads I thought better of it. I have built a pretty good friends list on here and I feel "safe" asking my question in that forum as opposed to out here. ((((YOU)))
  • Eleisabelle
    Eleisabelle Posts: 365
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    I'm a big advocate of scientific information. However, dietary research tends to assume that all people react the same way. The researchers take the widest part of the bell curve and work with that.

    So what happens to those of us outliers who work differently?

    Even if it works for the majority of the population, that doesn't mean it's appropriate for everyone. So unless you're that person's doctor, even if they ask for help, it's probably a good idea to give them support, refer them to information, and gently suggest that maybe they should ask their doctor for help rather than a bunch of non-experts.

    ;) The only expert on my body is me. The next closest is my doctor.
  • becoming_a_new_me
    becoming_a_new_me Posts: 1,860 Member
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    There are so many people on here that talk as if the way they are telling people to eat is the only way. I am fed up with people answering newbies questions with a condiscending tone. I eat the way I do because it works for my body. People out there are asking for help for a particular diet plan and people who don't like it blast them. Guess what? that wasn't what they asked!

    If they want to know about how you eat, they will ask for that kind of help!

    Just about ANY major diet plan is better than taking diabetes pills for the rest of your life! So, back off "know-it-alls"!
    These newbies don't need the attitude. They probably feel sheepish enough just coming on here. They probably have been teased and taunted for years, just to come here and be talked down to. Great, that's what they need.

    So many people like to say "it's a published fact that...." Really? You want to go there? It was also a public fact that you had to burn witches. It was also "Medically" correct to blood let. So, don't give me your lecture about this stuff.

    If you want to help people, do so in a polite way. Answer their questions. Don't bash their diet. Be constructive in your criticism.

    I'd totally love it if there was a "Like" button on here!
  • galegetsthin
    galegetsthin Posts: 1,352 Member
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    I have learned a very important lesson on here...... There are a few REALLY negative people, and the rest genuinely want to offer support. Some people will post on one saying that they dont feel like it is a sound plan, and others will say that you are a moron for even considering it. The ones that are always shooting everyone down and telling them that their way is the only way, do not deserve nor recieve my attention or response. I have also found that for certain people, the "ignore user" option is VERY useful!
  • TMLPatrick
    TMLPatrick Posts: 558 Member
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    Take advice here with a grain of salt, unless it comes with scientific studies to back it up.... and if you don't trust science, then I don't know what to tell you...
  • UnderConstructionJ
    UnderConstructionJ Posts: 87 Member
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    Very True...There is no One Size Fits All to weightloss. If you feel what someone is saying is irritating, etc...just don't respond
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
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    So when a new person come looking for help, would you rather folks provide anecdotal evidence based on their own experience or the facts that reputable studies have provided to date? based on the odds, what will be more beneficial to them? I am partial to the latter.

    Also, when folks shoot down ideas in the forum, it is typically when someone asks about fad or extreme methods (very low cal diet, HCG, cleanses, etc.). When folks have questions about macro percentages, folks are very helpful with good info for the most part.

    I think a lot of people are looking for anecdotal evidence. If they wanted scientific facts, It would be easier and more reliable to go to a trusted site that provide scientific study results or recommendations based on science. But it is often helpful to know what worked for someone else. And let's face it, there are so many studies out there with conflicting results that posting select studies to make a point can lead to more confusion.

    And perfectly sound diets get shot down too. Low carb or vegetarian diets, for example, work and are not unhealthy and have scientfic studies to prove it. But post about it and see how long it takes to be shot down.
  • CaptainGordo
    CaptainGordo Posts: 4,437 Member
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    Sadly, many members cannot distinguish between criticism of an idea and personal criticism. Just because other members may provide criticism or opinions regarding one's nutrition or exercise does not mean that they are being attacked personally.
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
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    Take advice here with a grain of salt, unless it comes with scientific studies to back it up.... and if you don't trust science, then I don't know what to tell you...

    I would go one step further and say unless the post references all scientfic studies on the subject, take it with a grain of salt. Changes in diet or lifestyle should rarely be made because of one study. The entire knowledge base on the subject needs to be considered to make an informed decision.
  • sammysam82
    sammysam82 Posts: 8 Member
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    Really Well said!!!!!!! It is not just the eating, it is also exercise. I did jumping jacks the other day and I did them for 5 minutes. I had someone comment on it "just for laughs?" My Answer: No, I am doing what I can do. 5 minutes of jumping jacks was really hard for me to do. When you go 10 years of doing nothing at all, and suffer from depression, You are not going to just jump up off the couch and run a mile. All exercise is going to be a challenge for me. But I am doing it, that's all that matters.
    I am trying and I am doing. This does not go for just very over weight people. (No matter your size.) I am small. I am 5"0, I weigh 150lbs. So 150lbs to some people is not real big, That's a pretty low weight, i realize there are lots of people who dream of being that weight. But are they 5"0 like me? I should be really active and be able to lose this really quick because i only weight 150lbs...right?... NO, WRONG. It's not that easy. It's not easy.
  • drog2323
    drog2323 Posts: 1,386 Member
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    Sadly, many members cannot distinguish between criticism of an idea and personal criticism. Just because other members may provide criticism or opinions regarding one's nutrition or exercise does not mean that they are being attacked personally.

    and many members spout off useless and crap information - every time I come to the forums. I see the same "experts" popping off non stop, like they are some master wizard of MFP land.

    Personally, I agree with the OP and his original post.
  • savage22hp
    savage22hp Posts: 278 Member
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    Most of what scientists talk about and publish is THEORY based on observation . If it becomes accepted as unassailable truth , then it is reclassified as SCIENTIFIC LAW which there is comparatively little of . The wisdom of today is better than the THEORIES of yesterday due to observation over a greater period of time . That doesn't mean that our thoughts are superior to our predecessors or that those coming after us will have superior wisdom . It simply means that they will have the benefit of our tested theories as we have benefitted from generations before us. The OP realizes there are many ways to get to our health goals and if someone buries a toad under a limestone rock during the harvest moon and subsequently loses weight then leave them alone and simply tell them where they can find a good rock if they ask ! (and for goodness sake don't get into arguments with other people that post in the thread and get completely off track from the OP's question )
  • ahinescapron
    ahinescapron Posts: 351 Member
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    I agree with the OP. Everyone has the right to their opinion, but there is always a way to say it that is not condescending and rude. There is no reason to treat someone who is simply asking a question and trying to get started like he/she is an idiot.

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