What are your best comebacks?

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  • jeffazi
    jeffazi Posts: 198
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    This pretty much works for any insult:

    "yeah, I remember my first beer"
  • BerryH
    BerryH Posts: 4,698 Member
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    "I know you are, but what am I?"

    Juvenile comments require a juvenile response :tongue:
  • rmwinters
    rmwinters Posts: 288 Member
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    $@#% U, of course
  • kimmie185
    kimmie185 Posts: 550 Member
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    I give "the look."

    lol, that's what I do.
    my come backs usually don't come to me until after they leave :/
  • erickirb
    erickirb Posts: 12,293 Member
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    I also like calling someone a "fu%ktard" if they say something stupid or are being an *kitten*
  • Z_I_L_L_A
    Z_I_L_L_A Posts: 2,399 Member
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    "You sure you boys wanna ride that train?"(Hancock-jail scene) "Tell em I'm coming and hell is coming with me!" (Tombstone)
  • BrettPGH
    BrettPGH Posts: 4,720 Member
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    9 years of doing stand up and dealing with hecklers has me well prepared.

    "Why don't YOU shutup!"


    Seriously though just be cold and merciless:

    "Would you just die already?"

    "Why do you think I care about what you're saying?"

    "Hey that's great! Bye!"

    "Your parents failed."

    "OH NOW I see why you're such a miserable person!"


    The really cruel ones I save for myself. Worst I've ever heard in my life was from Patton Oswalt at a show. I can't even begin to repeat it here...
  • BerryH
    BerryH Posts: 4,698 Member
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    Oh, I'm fond of "...and the horse you rode in one," too :tongue:
  • _binary_jester_
    _binary_jester_ Posts: 2,132 Member
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    End yourself.
  • MaximalLife
    MaximalLife Posts: 2,447 Member
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    I don't have any, because I don't need any.

    Nobody'd dare unless through the safety and anonymity of a phone, text or computer.
  • Munque
    Munque Posts: 123
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    To my kids, "this is my world and you're lucky I'm letting you breath my air"

    To everyone else, I pretty much work with what I get thrown at me, I'm pretty creative when I get around friends or enemies.
  • vanessaclarkgbr
    vanessaclarkgbr Posts: 765 Member
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    I also like calling someone a "fu%ktard" if they say something stupid or are being an *kitten*

    That's a personal favourite of mine too. The OH and I regularly use that for tender moments (like today when I had to come home as he left the door unlocked ;-))
  • lniffa
    lniffa Posts: 718 Member
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    Why don't I call H E L L and have satan pull that fork out your *kitten*!
  • 3ur3ka
    3ur3ka Posts: 230
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    My personal favorite is "You're one shot your momma should haven taken to the mouth!"
  • beebabe
    beebabe Posts: 67
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    ***notes all these genius comebacks and can't wait for the chance to use one***


    :)
  • beebabe
    beebabe Posts: 67
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    Do tell!
  • kyle4jem
    kyle4jem Posts: 1,400 Member
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    The best come back is to ignore the ignorant fcuwit.

    Never show weakness! :smokin:
  • Bronx_Montgomery
    Bronx_Montgomery Posts: 2,287 Member
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    NA NA NA NA BOO BOO STICK YOUR HEAD IN DOO DOO
  • jenlikesfood
    jenlikesfood Posts: 27
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    "whatever, freak!"

    "You're just creepy"

    "You make me want to rip my vagina out, stomp on it and put it out of it's misery, you worthless piece of *kitten*."

    I have more but these are my faves.
  • seehawkmomma
    seehawkmomma Posts: 815
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    "You make me want to rip my vagina out, stomp on it and put it out of it's misery, you worthless piece of *kitten*."

    Best. one. Yet.

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