What are your best comebacks?

Options
1235

Replies

  • dls06
    dls06 Posts: 6,774 Member
    Options
    When I was younger, I was getting my children out of my car. 3 guys were walking by and asked if I wanted another one. I told them they could'nt handle it. I was so upset to think someone would talk to a Mother like that, in front of her children. Like I said I was young but that was not excuse for it.
  • lorac321
    lorac321 Posts: 627 Member
    Options
    I'll listen when you have something interesting to say.

    Listen, are you always this stupid or are you just making a special effort today?

    Sure, I've seen people like you before - but I had to pay an admission...

    Save your breath...You'll need it to blow up your date

    And if those don't work. FU
  • juleseybaby
    juleseybaby Posts: 712 Member
    Options
    :devil:

    Bite me!

    Suck cheese shark face!

    Eat a d*ck!

    Shut up. If I want any $*it out of you - I'll squeeze your head.

    Sometimes if I'm trying to be nice, I'll just say 'And?....'

    Oh yah - and who could forget .... 'A sphincter says what?'
  • Avalonis
    Avalonis Posts: 1,540 Member
    Options
    I use "Take a flying f*** at a rolling donut"

    and

    "If I wanted your lip, I'd have undone my zipper."

    "Eat a Richard"

    "You are proof that swallowing is better than internals."
  • macpatti
    macpatti Posts: 4,280 Member
    Options
    That was classy.
  • mhamlin
    mhamlin Posts: 35 Member
    Options
    haha too funny!
  • NiciS72
    NiciS72 Posts: 1,043 Member
    Options
    Most recently it was to my brother after he commented that I am the "diet Nazi!" I said "Oh yeah, well while you're exercising that fork to your mouth and having to buy bigger clothes, I'm keep having to buy smaller and smaller clothes!" It was funny the whole holiday as his girlfriend kept patting his huge belly telling him he needs to do what my husband and I have so he can lose the weight!
  • CannibalisticVegetarian
    CannibalisticVegetarian Posts: 1,255 Member
    Options
    Most of my comebacks come in the form of, 'Your FACE.....TAKE IT!'

    ...I also say, 'Your mom does/goes [insert random place or phrase]'

    And whenever someone says something I don't want to hear, my comeback is usually along the lines of, 'I can fill a room with all the f*cks I couldn't give!' or 'I could rent a small luxury penthouse on the better side of town using the f*cks I couldn't give as currency'.
  • stubbysticks
    stubbysticks Posts: 1,275 Member
    Options
    I said Good Day, Sir!!!
  • karenwill2
    karenwill2 Posts: 604 Member
    Options
    "and yet I am still soooo far outta your league...."
  • galegetsthin
    galegetsthin Posts: 1,352 Member
    Options
    Last weekend, my BFF's husband said "F you!" He was joking, but still..... this was great.

    I looked at him, batted my eyelashes and responded "You would fall in love and I would fall asleep".


    Another one for me is: "So, my mom was right" they ask what I am talking about "She TOLD me that your face would stick that way"

    and "If I wanted comeback from you, I would scrape the back of your throat" or "damn! I have run all out of S#!t$ to give" or "I dont know what your problem is, but I bet it is hard to prodounce"
  • seehawkmomma
    seehawkmomma Posts: 815
    Options

    and "If I wanted comeback from you, I would scrape the back of your throat" or "damn! I have run all out of S#!t$ to give" or "I dont know what your problem is, but I bet it is hard to prodounce"

    Yeah I love "If I wanted any lip from you'd rattle my zipper"
  • ffuunnnnyy__ggiirrll
    ffuunnnnyy__ggiirrll Posts: 431
    Options
    I'll tell a guy, "don't get your panties in a bunch, Nancy" or my favorite, from Betty White, "if I had a d1ck, this is where I'd tell you to suck it."

    But usually I just say that and start cracking up, because seriously, you so don't want a piece of this!
  • Munque
    Munque Posts: 123
    Options
    One of my best friends favorites, and I'll admit, I use it when appropriate, "call it what you want, it's going in YOUR mouth"
  • I_give_it_2_u_str8
    I_give_it_2_u_str8 Posts: 680 Member
    Options
    refusal to acknowledge their existence.

    or a knuckle sandwich.

    whichever seems appropriate at the time.
  • Galletakek
    Galletakek Posts: 285
    Options
    " O_O "
  • _binary_jester_
    _binary_jester_ Posts: 2,132 Member
    Options
    It's too bad you didn't die on your mom's boobs.
  • Beastette
    Beastette Posts: 1,497 Member
    Options
    Judo CHOP! Or a crowbar. Usually ends the conversation.
  • lyssamichelle
    lyssamichelle Posts: 1,307 Member
    Options
    "So that's the best you could come up with, after graduating high school? Do they hand diplomas out to turkeys now? Don't you have a rain storm to get too.. Maybe then you'll learn why it's a shame you can't keep your pointed little mouth shut."

    That usually gets the job done.
    I talk a lot, no one wants to listen to someone go on and on.
  • Mallory0418
    Mallory0418 Posts: 723 Member
    Options
    I don't usually "come back" when someone is trying to insult me. I find that stopping all conversation and looking at said person for 5 - 10 seconds, blinking, and saying "...K" or "....right" and continuing with my conversation works just fine. :wink:

Categories