ever been told you werent good looking?

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Replies

  • cygnetpro
    cygnetpro Posts: 419 Member
    My ex husband told me occasionally how unattractive I was (and I had no extra weight back then). My favorite was, "I didn't marry you for your looks." Nice.

    One of the reasons he is an "ex".
  • becoming_a_new_me
    becoming_a_new_me Posts: 1,860 Member
    When I was an child and teen in the podunk Iowa town that I grew up in, life was tortue. At one point, when I was working in the fields with my peers (as all good Iowa teenagers do), I was halfway back when I saw one of the older boys standing on top of the bus yelling "suey! suey, pig, pig, pig!". I wanted to die of embarassment, but most of the time my life was like that.

    When I moved to Idaho, I was 16 and the much larger town (there were as many students in the HS as we had in my whole hometown), things got better.

    As an adult, I had feelings for a guy that wouldn't even give me the time of day when I was at my largest. In fact, there were several men who were complete *kitten* to me. After I lost a large amount of weight, they saw me in new eyes and started asking me out. I had the distinct pleasure of telling them exactly WHY I would not be giving THEM the time of day.

    At this point in my journey, I have more I want to lose...but for me. I don't have problems with most people, but there are the occasional few that do not like me. I blow them off now, because I am confident in myself.
  • AmyMK
    AmyMK Posts: 164
    Not by anyone that mattered - my "best friend" up until about 5 years ago would regularly tell me that I was her "big fat friend" though. I severed that relationship when I realize it really brought down my self esteem, and a real friend wouldn't treat me like that.

    I figure, anyone that matters in my life are not the people who will call me ugly. I honestly don't care if strangers say anything negative about my weight, my looks, my clothing or anything else...I figure I wouldn't want to associate with people that are that superficial anyways, so whats the point in worrying what they think?

    That being said, only my (supportive) girlfriends and my grandma have called me beautiful...to anyone else i'm just the nice, funny girl with a great personality who happens to be chubby.
  • rubybeach
    rubybeach Posts: 529 Member
    I'm shocked that so many people have been told they weren't good looking! And by their friend?! These people have serious issues and I would cut them out of my life. Who needs that hate in their life?

    Someone said it to me once but they were an evil, hate filled bully so I considered the source.
  • hofficoffi
    hofficoffi Posts: 88 Member
    I live in the UK and some of the guys here are HORRIBLE. I've been called ugly, fat, dog, doghead, heard them say 'nahhhh' (as in to go near me). Ive had food thrown at me on a night out with them saying 'eat that you fat cow'. I've had stuff like 'oh my god you're really pretty......HAHA AS IF YOU FAT *****' Umm I could go on and on and ON AND ON!! I've had so many horrific incidents. They really are s**theads!!
  • staceyseeger
    staceyseeger Posts: 778 Member
    Many times growing up...I was tubby, tubby 2 X 4, can't get thru the kitchen door. That was a looooong time ago, but somehow you tend to remember the bad stuff:grumble: :grumble: :grumble: more than you remember the good stuff:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: . Kids are so mean...but I have also realized that some adults aren't much better than the kids. :noway: :noway: :noway:
  • rubybeach
    rubybeach Posts: 529 Member
    Not by anyone that mattered - my "best friend" up until about 5 years ago would regularly tell me that I was her "big fat friend" though. I severed that relationship when I realize it really brought down my self esteem, and a real friend wouldn't treat me like that.

    I figure, anyone that matters in my life are not the people who will call me ugly. I honestly don't care if strangers say anything negative about my weight, my looks, my clothing or anything else...I figure I wouldn't want to associate with people that are that superficial anyways, so whats the point in worrying what they think?

    That being said, only my (supportive) girlfriends and my grandma have called me beautiful...to anyone else i'm just the nice, funny girl with a great personality who happens to be chubby.


    Good for you, that's no friend.
  • PepeGreggerton
    PepeGreggerton Posts: 986 Member
    Yes, quite a few times actually. I think it would be hard to say it didn't bother me. But I've developed thick skin.
  • nlewis22
    nlewis22 Posts: 107 Member
    My first very serious boyfriend actually broke up with me because, "I'm not attracted to you anymore". Yup. We had been together for a year and a half and when we first started dating I was really athletic and he wasn't so I kinda dropped out of going to the gym every day. A year and a half and 30 pounds later that's what I got. I was so depressed I went on to gain 70 more pounds, had massive anxiety/depression...but finally I decided anough was enough and God gave me the man who is now my husband. He's encouraging and even though I still don't think I'm beautiful, he calls me beautiful everyday and I'm finally starting to take my health and my body back. I wish I had known back then how worthless that guy's opinion was and dropped him way sooner.
  • Jus1molbplz
    Jus1molbplz Posts: 20
    I've been told I wasn't good looking since we all had to watch that horrible video about the chances in our body. Purberty is a horrible thing. I'm still getting the "ugly girl" looks from people.

    I was hanging out with one of my chick friends and her sister and realized I'M THE UGLY FRIEND! Same thing happened when I was a little younger and with my cousins. I was the ugly duckling of the group :( Guys say I'm "hot" just to see how far I would go. I just laugh and tell them "yeah I'm more like luke warm"

    ^^ Your friends are crazy - you have the most beautiful eyes and smile! By the way you write I bet your sense of humor is AMAZING and thats far more attractive to so many people than anything else! Don't let the haters get you down - thats what they do - hate - your beautiful Girl!!!
  • sirihermine
    sirihermine Posts: 123 Member
    One of my brother's friends told me that I had went from someone he wouldn't do ever, to someone he would do after 10 beers ;)

    Yeah, rude!! (I met him drunk at a party a few years ago, he then couldn't stop talking about what a MILF I was)...

    No wonder I'm lesbian :)
  • valeriebpdx
    valeriebpdx Posts: 497 Member
    I've been told I wasn't good looking since we all had to watch that horrible video about the chances in our body. Purberty is a horrible thing. I'm still getting the "ugly girl" looks from people.

    I was hanging out with one of my chick friends and her sister and realized I'M THE UGLY FRIEND!

    There's no way you are the "ugly friend", you're beautiful.

    Thanks, it takes a lot for me to look like I do in my photo lol. 3-4 days of sitting on my butt in front of my mother while she braids my hair (she's slow but it's free). Buying new eyeliners once a month, taking just the right angle of a shot with my iPod Touch

    For Horrorchix, I do not believe there is a camera angle that could make you ugly--you are an absolutely gorgeous woman. The words you say to yourself have power, so if you can't quite get to "I am beautiful" at this moment, at least quit with the "I am ugly." You're adorable.
  • MelissaE27
    MelissaE27 Posts: 682 Member
    I was told by my ex husband after I had his baby that I was fat..(Iwas 117 pounds when we married) gained a lot during pregnancy and that im ugly and that he was doing me a favor because no one else would want me...to this day I still think about that and it still bothers me..
  • niknak2308
    niknak2308 Posts: 315 Member
    I remember being in a club when I was younger and just starting to go out. Me and my bestie had been up on the poles dancing, really having a laugh. I was already conscious of my weight as she was a lot skinnier than me but hey I had boobs lol... (and we were only 8stone or so then anyway, mad in hindsight!) Anyway, as I was walking back from a loo break, I held a door open for these people walking down to the toilets, and as the last guy walked past he came right up close and said, "YOU, are a minger!" and then just walked off.
    I was like, what a knob, here I am holding the door open being polite and I get that chucked in my face. I think that did make me a lot more self conscious about being out and how I was perceived.
    I'm sure he was one of those guys who loved himself simply because no one else would and is still probably single lol :laugh:
  • mgmlap
    mgmlap Posts: 1,377 Member
    The only person ever to tell me this was my S-I-L. She is a piece of work. She would make comments about everything.
    dark circles under my eyes
    pock marks on my skin
    the fat i have..went on and on.

    Dark circles--cause of havying hypothyroid..not getting sleep..now..they are gone..love my meds
    pock marks...well i had chicken pox at 25...they are almost gone..very few now..and the fact that i had very bad acne cause of IR and PCOS
    the fat..well thats all gone..she can barely stand looking at me..cause she has nothing to pick on...
  • BethanyMasters
    BethanyMasters Posts: 519 Member
    @DeeJayTJ

    Sounds to me like she is trying to hurt your self esteem. Because if your self esteem sucks maybe you will lower your standards enough to actually date her. At least that's what she thinks.


    Being that I've been on the internet since I was 12 I've been told numerous times that I'm ugly / fat. Most of the time it's from strangers that don't even know me so I don't really care.

    I personally have my days where I feel like I'm totally smokin hot and other days where I feel like I should be walking around in a burka to cover up the ugly.
  • Serenavictoria
    Serenavictoria Posts: 37 Member
    Of course I've been told this. And you can try to not let it bother you, but after awhile, it wears on you.

    Of course I love me for me, but I still want to feel pretty.

    I'm sorry anyone has called anyone ugly. Its a mean thing to say. And beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Everyone is beautiful in some way. I hate the way the media makes us all feel.
  • SuzQ20
    SuzQ20 Posts: 21 Member
    I have a few... I was always the ugly friend people would drag along to make themselves look better. I was told by my one friend that I was lucky I had a decent personality or else I would never have a chance at dating, one girl in high school told me I was lucky that I would never had to deal with guys ever wanting to date me, my grandma used to poke at my fat all of the time and tell me that the least thing I could do was to lose weight and have a good body or else I'd never find anyone, and everyone at my old workplace would ask me how in the world did I manage to get my current boyfriend because he's good looking... I don't know why people are so hurtful to each other.
  • valeriebpdx
    valeriebpdx Posts: 497 Member
    I can't remember anyone ever telling me I was ugly or not attractive. I wouldn't believe them anyway.
  • neat0
    neat0 Posts: 16
    Yes I have.

    Yes, it hurts. If you get told something enough. you start to believe it. I still don't really date because of confidence issues.
  • sarahemily72
    sarahemily72 Posts: 106
    My doctor told me it was a shame that I gained weight because I was such a pretty teenager. That hurt!
  • theskinnyonme
    theskinnyonme Posts: 443 Member
    My own family used to refer to me as the "smart " sister and my little sister as the "pretty" sister

    Needless to say I dont have contact w/ them.
  • Veganniee
    Veganniee Posts: 460 Member
    Apart from school playground bullying, not really. A couple of controlling, abusive boyfriends, but I can see them for what they were. Most people say exactly the opposite, but I really just think they are being nice. I have some lovely friends that work hard to raise my confidence!

    I don't get the people on here that say they have no self esteem and all that, but still have their pic on here. I'm not criticising. I just couldn't do that. I'm not for public scrutiny!

    Oh well, maybe a bit more work to do on my thinking!
  • lemonadem
    lemonadem Posts: 398 Member
    I dated a guy for a while that was extremely fit... he told me I was lucky to have him because guys that looked like he did didn't normally go for girls like me.

    He also nicked named me "butterball", which he actually called his pregnant pug on occassion too...

    We didn't date for very long. I think he was confused when I ended it... :noway:



    LOL thank God I have so much more confidence now than I use to, not necessarily in my looks as in myself in general!!
  • Fayve
    Fayve Posts: 406 Member
    Yes, I have. Mostly on the internet though, so I've learned not to take any of that to heart. A bit of peer bullying a few years back when I was in middle school, for sure.
  • Veganniee
    Veganniee Posts: 460 Member
    My own family used to refer to me as the "smart " sister and my little sister as the "pretty" sister

    Needless to say I dont have contact w/ them.

    Now you've said that, my tall, willowy, cute as a button, blonde cousin was always a bridemaid in our big family and I never was.....I'd never noticed before... Bah..... hello complex!
  • JulieF11
    JulieF11 Posts: 387 Member
    When I was in my 20's, my boyfriend of 2 years, said he had something important to ask me. I thought he was going to propose since his lip was quivering and hands a little shaky. Instead he asked, "Are you always going to be heavy, or will you lose the weight and keep it off for good?" He said it was important since he couldn't see himself married to a fat person. He said he could handle a lot of other problems, but didn't want to deal with a fat wife. Apparently, his therapist suggested he ask me.

    I had no idea he thought I was fat. I felt very ugly and undesirable. He even went on to say when he walked behind me on the beach he couldn't help but think what a shame it was that my thighs were so unattractive, since he liked "me" so much.

    I am grateful to him. If he hadn't revealed that, I may have married him and not known he felt that way. Turns out I ended up marrying someone who is a much better match.
  • Cberg9
    Cberg9 Posts: 123
    I've been told I wasn't good looking since we all had to watch that horrible video about the chances in our body. Purberty is a horrible thing. I'm still getting the "ugly girl" looks from people.

    I was hanging out with one of my chick friends and her sister and realized I'M THE UGLY FRIEND! Same thing happened when I was a little younger and with my cousins. I was the ugly duckling of the group :( Guys say I'm "hot" just to see how far I would go. I just laugh and tell them "yeah I'm more like luke warm"

    I'm sad now all over again

    That is so horrible! Your picture looks beautiful!
  • brbetha01
    brbetha01 Posts: 179 Member
    Yep, when I was in grade school and I believe it for a while, also. Then I got older and grew into my own and by high school I was more comfortable with who I was and started to be more confident of who I was and how I looked. Since then, I've had some rough patches but have grown up even more and have started to not care what others say or think about me.
  • sherrirb
    sherrirb Posts: 1,649 Member
    ...every single person is beautiful. Maybe not to your's or my standards, but someone in the world is going to look at them and think, "OMG that person is absolutely stunning."

    ^This!
    ^This!
    ^This!
    ^This!

    Its true!
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