Does anyone else struggle to feel sexy?

mickipedia
mickipedia Posts: 889 Member
in Motivation and Support
Never used to be an issue.. I was big and i didn't care.. If people didn't like me for who I was or for my size never bothered me..

And now I'm always wondering what I can do to make myself look/feel better but I'm dreading its never going to be enough..

Does anyone else feel like this? Or do you accept who you are/what you look like and just work towards a healthier body?
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Replies

  • EmCarroll1990
    EmCarroll1990 Posts: 2,832 Member
    I feel this way whenever I'm about to be intimate with my fiancé. The extra weight I've got really carries a burden in the back of my mind.
  • rileamoyer
    rileamoyer Posts: 2,412 Member
    bump for later
  • moiramab
    moiramab Posts: 26 Member
    Definitely. If I thought I could carry curves and be sexy a la Christina Hendricks, I'd be fine, but I know I feel sexier when my stomach doesn't stick out further than my chest!
  • joyw37
    joyw37 Posts: 38
    Definately! I sometimes wonder if my fiance has made the connection between the days that i'm eating clean and exercising are the nights I initiate sex and the days i'm doing awful are the nights i want to just go straight to bed lol.
  • DeltaDiva5
    DeltaDiva5 Posts: 4
    Sexy is a state of mind. If you believe you're sexy, others will have no other choice but to respect it. Start with your thoughts and then align your body with them. I used to think I was sexy at 115 pounds. I'm well over that and KNOW I'm sexy! That's with 3 kids and a husband. He knows I'm sexy, too! ;)
  • Bikini27
    Bikini27 Posts: 1,290 Member
    You know, whenever I start feeling this way I think of a hot a steamy moment from my past and how sexy I felt then. And I tell myself that, yea, my thighs are big and I have a tummy....but those legs are powerful and that tummy doesn't get in the way of my "me" time ;)

    And then I put on a killer pair of heels that make my legs look fabulous and strut.

    :flowerforyou:

    PS If all else fails, fake it 'til you make it!
  • kimi233
    kimi233 Posts: 271 Member
    I have that issue now that I have all this extra baby weight on, but I felt sexy when I was pregnant, and even sexier before I got pregnant (hahaha... maybe that's what lead to the pregnancy ) and was at the best shape of my life. We will always pick flaws with our own bodies. We need to learn to love those flaws and move on. Each one of us is sexy and the more confidence we have, the sexier we are!! =) If you get into that mind set that its never enough there is always something wrong, that's when you can have problems like anorexia or bulimia. Need to look in the mirror every day and find something you love different about yourself every day! =)
  • hongruss
    hongruss Posts: 389 Member
    My Partner is going through this at the moment & although you might not want "guy input" here it comes. I Love her, do I wish she was healthier, YES, do I still wish to touch & make love to her OH BOY YES. I luv making out, touching & well you get the idea, I have a pretty high sex drive & she used to match if not exceed this. But a number of things have contributed to her lack of drive BUT it is the extra pounds that really concern her.

    MY POINT - ladies your man loves you(unless he is a user, negative pig/you'll know the difference) & he STILL fancies you, yes a little bit because he is wired to get erect at a tree falling down BUT SERIOUSLY, he took care of himself before & during(when you're at work/asleep/cooking, etc) So if that is what he wanted he would leave you alone.

    BUT HE WANTS YOU :)

    Russ
  • scs143
    scs143 Posts: 2,190 Member
    Yes. I hate it too. I am smaller now than I have been in 10 years and I can't find the confidence I used to have. I used to always get complimented about my confidence and how I would walk into a room like I owned it. I felt sexy then. Now I can't seem to find it. I feel like people just look at me like I am big, even though I am a lot smaller. I can't seem to wrap my mind around it. I have never wanted to fade into the background more.
  • Sarw27
    Sarw27 Posts: 68 Member
    Definitely. If I thought I could carry curves and be sexy a la Christina Hendricks, I'd be fine, but I know I feel sexier when my stomach doesn't stick out further than my chest!

    ...If only my boobs would stop shrinking.
  • EuroDriver12
    EuroDriver12 Posts: 805 Member
    Im sexy and i know it!!!!
  • Michaelaraedixon
    Michaelaraedixon Posts: 16
    Love it! If you feel sexy and have the sexy body language, others will see you as being that way too! Sometimes you have to find the right outfit to help! I see a reason for shopping!
  • DoreenDC
    DoreenDC Posts: 17 Member
    Ladies.....the most attractive asset a woman can have is her own self confidence. If you know you are the "****" than you are the "****" ;)

    Woman are created from the most beautiful mold in gods cabinet.....never ever ever underestimate your own sex appeal.....beauty is all in how you hold yourself. And without a doubt you should always hold yourself to the highest level and never let a man determine what level your at.....YOU determine that level.

    Sexy is as Sexy does.....work your assets, accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative.....class, self respect and again, self confidence are the only tools needed to bring out sexy.....

    read my story online.....and while reading it, know that I feel sexier now than I ever have before....www.vivofitness.com.

    We all come in all shapes and sizes, the excess weight is 'unhealthy' NOT to be mistaken for 'Unattractive'......woman should feel sexy everyday....wether it's next to a glass of wine, getting your hair or nails done.....a foot massage.....or just a hot bath....always feel sexy in your own skin and don't ever let anyone take that away from you.....

    Doreen
  • kimi233
    kimi233 Posts: 271 Member
    Im sexy and i know it!!!!

    I'll be singing this song all day now! :happy:
  • Captain_Tightpants
    Captain_Tightpants Posts: 2,215 Member
    I recommend anyone who wants to feel accepted and sexy in their body join a burlesque class.
  • PeekABooGirl
    PeekABooGirl Posts: 218 Member
    Hmm, that's a tough question! Yes is my initial answer but that's because I was in a marriage where I was never complimented and constantly had to hear how "hot" a few of his coworkers were. SO after years of that garbage, you start to feel pretty frumpy. Now that I"m 9 months out of that marriage, my confidence level has boosted quite a bit. That, plus the fact that I'm now working hard to get myself back into shape and be healthier.

    I totally agree that sexiness comes from within. You don't have to be skinny or have big boobs or have a gorgeous face to be sexy. You need to be able to balance confidence in yourself and your self-worth with a bit of humbleness as well.

    Same goes for men! I don't care how ripped a guy is or how much product he puts in his hair. To me, there's nothing sexier than a man who's involved with his kids, or taking a stroll in the evening with his wife holding her hand, or cooking together. It's all in his attitude - not in what he looks like. But hey, that's just my point of view. Those without kids or never married probably have slightly different views than I do. :wink:
  • PeekABooGirl
    PeekABooGirl Posts: 218 Member
    Definitely. If I thought I could carry curves and be sexy a la Christina Hendricks, I'd be fine, but I know I feel sexier when my stomach doesn't stick out further than my chest!

    ...If only my boobs would stop shrinking.

    There's always implants!! :glasses:
  • BeautyFromPain
    BeautyFromPain Posts: 4,952 Member
    yup :/

    bump
  • andreacord
    andreacord Posts: 928
    Never used to be an issue.. I was big and i didn't care.. If people didn't like me for who I was or for my size never bothered me..

    And now I'm always wondering what I can do to make myself look/feel better but I'm dreading its never going to be enough..

    Does anyone else feel like this? Or do you accept who you are/what you look like and just work towards a healthier body?

    Totally unsexy .. all the time. Well, me that is.
  • MariaAlbinaxoxo
    MariaAlbinaxoxo Posts: 290 Member
    Me me me! ALWAYS felt this way. I'm not over weight and never was but there's always SOMETHING that holds me back from feeling sexy about myself. went out with a great guy last night just to catch up and he wants to see where things go and I don't know if I want to because I can't see myself being with someone if I don't feel good about who I am. Gahhh I hate it.
  • LoriBarefoot
    LoriBarefoot Posts: 218 Member
    :frown: EVERY FREAKIN MINUTE OF EVERY SINGLE DAY!!!!... I tell my husband, "I'm sorry I don't know how to be a sexpot."
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
    Some days yes, some days no. Some days I feel sexy in my lounge pants and t-shirt with no makeup. Some days I feel like a cow no matter what I wear or how dolled up I am. This was true when I was young, it's true now that I'm not so young, it was true when I was overweight, it's true now that I'm not overweight. My mood drives how sexy I feel much more than what others think, how much I weigh or what I wear.
  • ItsMeRebekah
    ItsMeRebekah Posts: 909 Member
    Not really. If i dont then i go get my hair cut or new clothes, go to the sex shop. Easy fix IMO! =)
  • Champion68
    Champion68 Posts: 1 Member
    DeltaDiva5 you are so right on the money with your response. Work what you have and own it!! Yes!!!
  • caroline_g
    caroline_g Posts: 201 Member
    Sexy....what's that?... Not sure I've ever felt that way!
  • Fabnover40Kat
    Fabnover40Kat Posts: 300 Member
    I do all the time! Maybe because I was overweight and still dont have that confidence. I over analyze everything! Im my own worst critic! Now that Im over 40 its worse! Lines on my face, gray hair nad hair where I dont want it to be! !
  • ymiser24
    ymiser24 Posts: 5 Member
    I definitely can relate to that. I have had 5 kids and after my third one I was 110 pounds and wore a size 1 in jeans. I can only dream of that weight. But I do remember just being so care free about the way I looked and felt. Now I have to really struggle to say that I feel or look sexy. But I really think that with my goals ahead and what I am doing on a daily basis I will gain back that sexiness. I also think it is a state of mind. I have seen really beautiful women who are bigger than I am currently and they have this essence about them. So I do believe it starts within and it is a combination of both physical and mental. :happy: :flowerforyou:
  • thepetiterunner
    thepetiterunner Posts: 1,238 Member
    There are always days where I might not feel optimal, but on those days, I go to the gym, do some exercise outdoors, eat well, etc and that makes me feel better. I don't think anyone feels sexy ALL the time, but I feel good about where I'm at most of the time.

    Also it helps that when I'm at the gym I remind myself of parts of me I like (i.e. think to myself "my quads are getting way better!" during squats, etc). It helps me have a better, more positive body image.
  • Smuterella
    Smuterella Posts: 1,623 Member
    My Partner is going through this at the moment & although you might not want "guy input" here it comes. I Love her, do I wish she was healthier, YES, do I still wish to touch & make love to her OH BOY YES. I luv making out, touching & well you get the idea, I have a pretty high sex drive & she used to match if not exceed this. But a number of things have contributed to her lack of drive BUT it is the extra pounds that really concern her.

    MY POINT - ladies your man loves you(unless he is a user, negative pig/you'll know the difference) & he STILL fancies you, yes a little bit because he is wired to get erect at a tree falling down BUT SERIOUSLY, he took care of himself before & during(when you're at work/asleep/cooking, etc) So if that is what he wanted he would leave you alone.

    BUT HE WANTS YOU :)

    Russ

    This is lovely. :-)
  • angiemartin78
    angiemartin78 Posts: 475 Member
    Sexy is a state of mind. If you believe you're sexy, others will have no other choice but to respect it. Start with your thoughts and then align your body with them. I used to think I was sexy at 115 pounds. I'm well over that and KNOW I'm sexy! That's with 3 kids and a husband. He knows I'm sexy, too! ;)

    ^^^^This! You gotta stay sexy in the head to be sexy in body :happy:

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