Does anyone else struggle to feel sexy?

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Replies

  • DestinyDarbi
    DestinyDarbi Posts: 260 Member
    Sexy is a state of mind. If you believe you're sexy, others will have no other choice but to respect it. Start with your thoughts and then align your body with them. I used to think I was sexy at 115 pounds. I'm well over that and KNOW I'm sexy! That's with 3 kids and a husband. He knows I'm sexy, too! ;)

    +5,000,000 votes from me!!! If only I could achieve that mindset!
  • Gottaluvme777
    Gottaluvme777 Posts: 9
    I feel this way whenever I'm about to be intimate with my fiancé. The extra weight I've got really carries a burden in the back of my mind.

    same for me, and he often tells me that it doesn't matter....but really??? when I catch his eyes roaming my body, and I know it doesn't look as good as it used so....he can't tell me that turns him off and I believe it....
  • scs143
    scs143 Posts: 2,190 Member
    I recommend anyone who wants to feel accepted and sexy in their body join a burlesque class.

    I like this idea. Kind of out of the comfort zone, but you probably get wrapped up in it and enjoying it. I may try it!
  • wareagle8706
    wareagle8706 Posts: 1,090 Member
    You're pic looks sexy girl!! Come on!! I'm not a lesbian lol. Just an observation. Everyone feels that way at some point. Just keep this up and put on some booty shorts and hit the club!
  • gail2207
    gail2207 Posts: 133
    I struggle all the time. At first when I meet my goals I feel amazing, I feel like I look amazing too. But then after a while the goal i've met doesn't feel enough, and I stop feeling sexy. I feel like I have to keep losing and I can't see how I ever felt sexy at my current weight, even if it was only a week ago!

    I don't know when it will stop, I feel like it's a problem with my mind that I can just never accept myself for more than five minutes. I felt amazing reaching 119, but now i'm 118 and I feel I need to be 112, or at least 115 to feel better about myself.

    Maybe it's a hormone thing.
  • ADoucette416
    ADoucette416 Posts: 14
    I agree with a lot of what people are saying. When I was bigger I had a lot easier time being sexy because I knew I had to be sexy from within, it wasn't coming from the outside. Now I'm a lot smaller and through everything I've seen/been told smaller is sexier. The thing is, I don't know how to be sexy at this weight. Loosing weight is a change and can be scary. This huge security blanket that was your excuse for everything is melting away. When what you've been comfortable with for so long is going away figuring out how to be sexy is difficult because I have to figure out the rest of me in this new body and the newer body to come (I still have 50 pounds to loose).

    Luckily, I have a boy who loves me and is being patient. I know he thinks I'm sexy, he wouldn't be with me if he didn't. He just knows I have to work some things out. Be patient with yourself, you'll figure it out. Figure yourself out first, the rest will fall into place.
  • scs143
    scs143 Posts: 2,190 Member
    My husband finds me completely and utterly sexy. Me, not so much. I think having 4 kids, pushing 40 and remembering how I used to look in my 20's brings my self esteem down. I used to feel and was sexy. Now, I feel like a saggy mom. It is totally a mental state, but how to do you get to that state. I know, fake it until you make it. At some point, you need to feel something in order to get there. ;(


    This exactly. I remember how I used to be and can't measure up. Even though I have accomplished so much since then. It's a mental thing.
  • redefiningmyself
    redefiningmyself Posts: 476 Member
    Sexy is a state of mind. If you believe you're sexy, others will have no other choice but to respect it. Start with your thoughts and then align your body with them.

    I totally agree with this. Feeling sexy comes from the inside not the outside.

    I used to be 115 lbs, and felt awkward and every inch the ugly duckling. As I've gotten older, I have evolved into the kind of woman I wanted to be. I'm happy with who I am , and I know I'm awesome. (this is not conceitedness, its just recognizing my good qualities instead of putting all my focus on the stuff I still want to change about me) Plus it makes me more able to see the awesomeness in every single person around me.

    So now at 200+ I feel more sexier AND I get hit on waaaaayyyyy more than I ever did when I was 115lbs
  • hollyeverhart
    hollyeverhart Posts: 397 Member
    Some days yes, some days no. Some days I feel sexy in my lounge pants and t-shirt with no makeup. Some days I feel like a cow no matter what I wear or how dolled up I am. This was true when I was young, it's true now that I'm not so young, it was true when I was overweight, it's true now that I'm not overweight. My mood drives how sexy I feel much more than what others think, how much I weigh or what I wear.

    Me too!
  • adamsonam
    adamsonam Posts: 127
    I have always been that way. Always been a major issue for me
  • infamousmk
    infamousmk Posts: 6,033 Member
    "Sexy" is in your mind!!! It has so very little to do with your body, face, hair, dress size... I have definitely had moments where I've not felt sexy when I wanted to ... As much as I like to pretend I'm perfect, I have self doubt some times... But you gotta fake it till you make it! The more you pretend to be the person you wish to be, the more it becomes a reality.
  • rileamoyer
    rileamoyer Posts: 2,412 Member
    I am sexy and know it. It is attitude - you are what you believe.
  • BIG_Lew
    BIG_Lew Posts: 513 Member
    Nope.


    I'm sexy and I know it :smokin:

    Yes yes u are :flowerforyou: :love: :love:
  • mickipedia
    mickipedia Posts: 889 Member
    My problem is that no matter what i do.. i can do my hair.. make up.. wear my nicest clothes and fake confidence.. thats what i do all of the time but i can't help but think that i look gross.. i worry that no matter what i do i'll never be skinny/sexy enough
  • ChickenTuna
    ChickenTuna Posts: 24 Member
    Big or small..sexy is how you feel about yourself. If you carry yourself with confidence it will radiate and others will see it. I know many plus size females who carry themselves with an air of confidence and are viewed as sexy. Then there are the small females with the banging bodies that everyone thinks they want to be who may lack confidence and don't radiate. Therefore you yourself define what is sexy and it you feel it:smile. For me, I thought I was sexy at 216 and I still think i'm sexy at 197. Now my goal is to be Sexy & Health!:smile:
  • PepeGreggerton
    PepeGreggerton Posts: 986 Member
    I'm pretty hard on myself at times... I think this is normal, other times I feel that I am fairly attractive especially as I get closer I get to my goal. The last 20lbs has really thinned out my face. No more double chin for this hombre.
  • SLRamirez2012
    SLRamirez2012 Posts: 297
    I feel like that so much that my Fiance gets mad at me.... Cause he thinks I am... but I just don't see it... :sad:
  • wigglelee
    wigglelee Posts: 491
    Im sexy and i know it!!!!
    i-i-i- i work out,,lol
  • SRS1226
    SRS1226 Posts: 37
    I think everyone is hard on themselves at times. I was (and have my moments when I still lapse into those thoughts), but I've been working on staying confident and focused. Remember--you're a beautiful person, inside and out, and your confidence will show. Believing in yourself, being confident and assured, knowing how far you've come--all of that is sexy. Be proud of yourself! :smile:
  • SofaKingRad
    SofaKingRad Posts: 1,592 Member
    Do I struggle to feel sexy? Pssh, whatever. Sexy struggles to feel me!
  • Kateribella
    Kateribella Posts: 5
    I'm starting to accept who I am, just working toward better health (and losing weight will help that). I struggle daily, but I found a book that changed the way I see myself - it's "Size Sexy" by Stella Ellis. She's a full-figured model (and gorgeous) who is helping put it in perspective for me.

    Confidence is sexy, and I'm working that!
  • shanolap
    shanolap Posts: 1,204 Member
    I don't struggle to feel sexy. I stuggle to find people who feel that I am sexy.
  • teeley
    teeley Posts: 477 Member
    I feel sexy...

    then I look in the mirror....

    then I walk away and feel sexy again....

    then I see a picture....

    then I put it down and feel sexy again....

    I am not happy with where I am at this point, but I LOVE how far I have come....I DO FEEL SEXY all the time...but seeing myself and in pictures just reminds me I am not done....

    Can't wait until I am Super Sexy!!!
  • reepobob
    reepobob Posts: 1,172 Member
    If Fat *kitten* can feel "dahhm sexy", then I can...and I do.
  • MaximalLife
    MaximalLife Posts: 2,447 Member
    It's mostly a lady thing, because I thought as most guys do, that I was God's gift to women - :drinker:

    And then my wife disclosed that I was unattractive fat.
    Who was I kidding anyway?

    Ever since then it was an issue, and even though started losing the weight, I'd stand in the mirror, zero in on my worse area and just obsess over it.

    If we were intimate, and she touched me there, I lose my - er..."focus" -
    So, yes, it's not just a lady thing. Men feel that way as well.

    If more men were honest, maybe they'd fess up too.
    The solution is to be your own personal best, and learn to love yourself and not compare yourself to others.
    I reached my weight goals, and all is well today, and no, I am far from perfect, but I love myself and feel good fit, muscular and in peak condition.

    Good luck with it; all is possible!
  • moiramab
    moiramab Posts: 26 Member
    Definitely. If I thought I could carry curves and be sexy a la Christina Hendricks, I'd be fine, but I know I feel sexier when my stomach doesn't stick out further than my chest!

    ...If only my boobs would stop shrinking.

    There's always implants!! :glasses:

    Doable with all that money I'm saving not having fast food! Plans people, we've got them :drinker:
  • mickipedia
    mickipedia Posts: 889 Member
    It's mostly a lady thing, because I thought as most guys do, that I was God's gift to women - :drinker:

    And then my wife disclosed that I was unattractive fat.
    Who was I kidding anyway?

    Ever since then it was an issue, and even though started losing the weight, I'd stand in the mirror, zero in on my worse area and just obsess over it.

    If we were intimate, and she touched me there, I lose my - er..."focus" -
    So, yes, it's not just a lady thing. Men feel that way as well.

    If more men were honest, maybe they'd fess up too.
    The solution is to be your own personal best, and learn to love yourself and not compare yourself to others.
    I reached my weight goals, and all is well today, and no, I am far from perfect, but I love myself and feel good fit, muscular and in peak condition.

    Good luck with it; all is possible!

    :flowerforyou:
  • redefiningmyself
    redefiningmyself Posts: 476 Member
    My problem is that no matter what i do.. i can do my hair.. make up.. wear my nicest clothes and fake confidence.. thats what i do all of the time but i can't help but think that i look gross.. i worry that no matter what i do i'll never be skinny/sexy enough

    The problem is not the outside, its the way you think about yourself. So you have to train your mind to focus on the positives. If you looked in the mirror every single day and looked for what's looking good instead of what you don't like, over time it will help changes your internal dialogue to be positive instead of negative. And don't settle for one thing, every day push yourself to find 5 new things that are awesome.

    Its also helpful to make a list of 10 things that make you a wonderful person. Then the next day do 50, then the next day do 100 - no repeats!

    Bringing your focus to what is good and what you are happy with instead of dwelling on the small imperfections, will help you to feel more positive, happy and even sexy.
  • xTenaciousJx
    xTenaciousJx Posts: 555
    it's good to know that men feel like it too :smile:
    It's mostly a lady thing, because I thought as most guys do, that I was God's gift to women - :drinker:

    And then my wife disclosed that I was unattractive fat.
    Who was I kidding anyway?

    Ever since then it was an issue, and even though started losing the weight, I'd stand in the mirror, zero in on my worse area and just obsess over it.

    If we were intimate, and she touched me there, I lose my - er..."focus" -
    So, yes, it's not just a lady thing. Men feel that way as well.

    If more men were honest, maybe they'd fess up too.
    The solution is to be your own personal best, and learn to love yourself and not compare yourself to others.
    I reached my weight goals, and all is well today, and no, I am far from perfect, but I love myself and feel good fit, muscular and in peak condition.

    Good luck with it; all is possible!
  • mrdee555
    mrdee555 Posts: 178
    never have never will
This discussion has been closed.

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