Does anyone else struggle to feel sexy?

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  • Kateribella
    Kateribella Posts: 5
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    I'm starting to accept who I am, just working toward better health (and losing weight will help that). I struggle daily, but I found a book that changed the way I see myself - it's "Size Sexy" by Stella Ellis. She's a full-figured model (and gorgeous) who is helping put it in perspective for me.

    Confidence is sexy, and I'm working that!
  • shanolap
    shanolap Posts: 1,204 Member
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    I don't struggle to feel sexy. I stuggle to find people who feel that I am sexy.
  • teeley
    teeley Posts: 477 Member
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    I feel sexy...

    then I look in the mirror....

    then I walk away and feel sexy again....

    then I see a picture....

    then I put it down and feel sexy again....

    I am not happy with where I am at this point, but I LOVE how far I have come....I DO FEEL SEXY all the time...but seeing myself and in pictures just reminds me I am not done....

    Can't wait until I am Super Sexy!!!
  • reepobob
    reepobob Posts: 1,172 Member
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    If Fat *kitten* can feel "dahhm sexy", then I can...and I do.
  • MaximalLife
    MaximalLife Posts: 2,447 Member
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    It's mostly a lady thing, because I thought as most guys do, that I was God's gift to women - :drinker:

    And then my wife disclosed that I was unattractive fat.
    Who was I kidding anyway?

    Ever since then it was an issue, and even though started losing the weight, I'd stand in the mirror, zero in on my worse area and just obsess over it.

    If we were intimate, and she touched me there, I lose my - er..."focus" -
    So, yes, it's not just a lady thing. Men feel that way as well.

    If more men were honest, maybe they'd fess up too.
    The solution is to be your own personal best, and learn to love yourself and not compare yourself to others.
    I reached my weight goals, and all is well today, and no, I am far from perfect, but I love myself and feel good fit, muscular and in peak condition.

    Good luck with it; all is possible!
  • moiramab
    moiramab Posts: 26 Member
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    Definitely. If I thought I could carry curves and be sexy a la Christina Hendricks, I'd be fine, but I know I feel sexier when my stomach doesn't stick out further than my chest!

    ...If only my boobs would stop shrinking.

    There's always implants!! :glasses:

    Doable with all that money I'm saving not having fast food! Plans people, we've got them :drinker:
  • mickipedia
    mickipedia Posts: 889 Member
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    It's mostly a lady thing, because I thought as most guys do, that I was God's gift to women - :drinker:

    And then my wife disclosed that I was unattractive fat.
    Who was I kidding anyway?

    Ever since then it was an issue, and even though started losing the weight, I'd stand in the mirror, zero in on my worse area and just obsess over it.

    If we were intimate, and she touched me there, I lose my - er..."focus" -
    So, yes, it's not just a lady thing. Men feel that way as well.

    If more men were honest, maybe they'd fess up too.
    The solution is to be your own personal best, and learn to love yourself and not compare yourself to others.
    I reached my weight goals, and all is well today, and no, I am far from perfect, but I love myself and feel good fit, muscular and in peak condition.

    Good luck with it; all is possible!

    :flowerforyou:
  • redefiningmyself
    redefiningmyself Posts: 476 Member
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    My problem is that no matter what i do.. i can do my hair.. make up.. wear my nicest clothes and fake confidence.. thats what i do all of the time but i can't help but think that i look gross.. i worry that no matter what i do i'll never be skinny/sexy enough

    The problem is not the outside, its the way you think about yourself. So you have to train your mind to focus on the positives. If you looked in the mirror every single day and looked for what's looking good instead of what you don't like, over time it will help changes your internal dialogue to be positive instead of negative. And don't settle for one thing, every day push yourself to find 5 new things that are awesome.

    Its also helpful to make a list of 10 things that make you a wonderful person. Then the next day do 50, then the next day do 100 - no repeats!

    Bringing your focus to what is good and what you are happy with instead of dwelling on the small imperfections, will help you to feel more positive, happy and even sexy.
  • xTenaciousJx
    xTenaciousJx Posts: 555
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    it's good to know that men feel like it too :smile:
    It's mostly a lady thing, because I thought as most guys do, that I was God's gift to women - :drinker:

    And then my wife disclosed that I was unattractive fat.
    Who was I kidding anyway?

    Ever since then it was an issue, and even though started losing the weight, I'd stand in the mirror, zero in on my worse area and just obsess over it.

    If we were intimate, and she touched me there, I lose my - er..."focus" -
    So, yes, it's not just a lady thing. Men feel that way as well.

    If more men were honest, maybe they'd fess up too.
    The solution is to be your own personal best, and learn to love yourself and not compare yourself to others.
    I reached my weight goals, and all is well today, and no, I am far from perfect, but I love myself and feel good fit, muscular and in peak condition.

    Good luck with it; all is possible!
  • mrdee555
    mrdee555 Posts: 178
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    never have never will
  • slay0r
    slay0r Posts: 669 Member
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    Yes, very much struggle.

    Even though I'm a completely different person after weight loss and I get the most incredible compliments etc etc, I still can't get past all of that and I still just see myself the same way.

    For example I've managed to get a girl to like me that I just find to be 10x out of my league in my head (from the past)

    All I could think about was not wanting to take my shirt off and how she wouldn't enjoy it as a result and she did take it off and from then on I just didn't enjoy it at all. Like someone said previously they lost their "focus" I was the same and I just couldn't be myself. Trying to get past that now since she keeps on calling me trying to get me to see her so there's got to be something in my head a little!
  • CAKEDOC
    CAKEDOC Posts: 110 Member
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    NOT NOW.. I'M 35 LBS. LIGHTER AND FINE AS ALL GET OUT...
  • PeaceLoveVeggies
    PeaceLoveVeggies Posts: 682 Member
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    All the time. I always feel so unattractive :(
  • NeshBeMe
    NeshBeMe Posts: 148 Member
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    I always have struggled with it. I've never felt I was 'ugly' but never sexy. The crazy part is, I've been told many times that I am 'sexy' but I've never really believed it. Oh well.........:ohwell:
  • nomena
    nomena Posts: 165
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    My boyfriend always manages to make me feel incredibly sexy, even if I feel horrible after a weigh-in. He reminds me that I'm perfect, no matter what size.
  • CoryIda
    CoryIda Posts: 7,887 Member
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    I am quite fit and very healthy now and, considering how much weight I shed, I came out relatively unscathed but sometimes it's hard to ignore the stretch marks and the little bit of loose skin, especially when my self-esteem was never great to begin with.
    I'm working on it.
  • Slove009
    Slove009 Posts: 364 Member
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    When I got to the point where the zippers on my sexy dresses were bursting, it really desrtoyed my image of myself. My poor Hubby experienced his firstdry spell and we hadn't even been married a year! I just would put on clothes, or see myself in the mirror after the shower and feel disgusting. I wondered about how anyone could see me as attractive. I'm almost to my goal though, and I can see the little side tires I had are almost 100% gone! That did wonders for me feeling sexy!
  • infamousmk
    infamousmk Posts: 6,033 Member
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    My problem is that no matter what i do.. i can do my hair.. make up.. wear my nicest clothes and fake confidence.. thats what i do all of the time but i can't help but think that i look gross.. i worry that no matter what i do i'll never be skinny/sexy enough


    Have you thought about counseling? I'm not even kidding - seeing a counselor for some other stuff that I had going on in my life really helped me think differently about my self image too.


    Really - ask yourself - if you had a friend that looked like you, worked as hard as you, and did the same things as you, what would you think of her? Would you think she's ugly or lazy or fat? Probably not. So, why would you ever put those kind of expectations on yourself?
  • ActorGirl1476
    ActorGirl1476 Posts: 221 Member
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    my entire life, regardless of size. I have had troubles feeling sexy. Or even attractive. It is something that I am currently working on.
  • vinylscratch
    vinylscratch Posts: 218 Member
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    Im sexy and i know it!!!!

    THIS!

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