Does anyone else struggle to feel sexy?

Absolutely. I've got a partner that rarely says anything about me. In the gym and in the street I get stopped and chat about muscle, but it means nothing when the person you love rarely comments on you without being prompted. Makes me feel unattractive and ugly.

on the same boat as you...

she gets flattered by strangers on the street but doesnt care if i comment her...

for me its the other way around... compliments from people close to me mean million times more than some stranger on the street..

It's true. To feel sexy you have to believe that YOU ARE sexy. Regardless of what anyone else thinks or what society says, condition your mind and really start telling yourself day in and out that your'e sexy. Don't rely on anyone else to say it to you cos just like a person can make you feel good they can make you feel **** to. Confidence is key!

Stop fishing for compliments lol. You know you are sexy!

My sister is in a similar situation. When she was almost 400lbs she would wear her hoochie clothes and didn't care. She felt beautiful and sexy. She had lap band surgery done a few years ago, lost a ton of weight, but she struggles with self esteem now. Weird how that works.

nope!! i feel hot!! and sexy when i go out!! if anyone doesnt agree, then they can kiss my round *kitten*! me losing weight is my choice. not societies. :bigsmile:

+100

Here's my 2 cents. : ) I don't know if anyone feels sexy all the time. I sure don't. But I do believe I have sexy potential. I don't even know if I'd really want to feel sexy all the time... I mean seriously... there are plenty of people I'd be completely uncomfortable about if their first thought of me is... "hoo...sexy." There are days when I feel icky... and days when I feel just sweet, and days when I feel flat sexy.

I agree with so many that sexy is an attitude. I have bounced around from 115 lbs to 165 lbs. Definitely I felt sexier at 115 lbs, but I'm always confident with who I am. I like myself, I think I'm pretty smart, and have some awesome qualities. Not perfect, of course. ; ) I did get more attention from guys when I was tan and tiny, it's true, but I get attention from men at 165 lbs also. I find it sad how much we focus on size and "sexiness". Not that I don't like to be small and sexy... but it's frustrating how many people (even women) paid soooo much attention to my size when I was small. There was positive attetion ("look how cute that tiny girl is!") and then there were the snide comments ("you look anorexic.") I so wasn't! When I was 115 lbs I still had an imperfect body. I'd already had all three of my boys and had the stretch marks and stretched out tummy to show for it. My boobies shrunk down to nearly nothing. I had every intention of getting implants, until I had several people tell me that small is fine! : ) I'll never forget the first time I took my clothes off for the guy I was dating at the time... His comment made me feel sooo good... "Oh my God... that body!" I never cared about my stretch marks or stretched out tummy again. At this point... I'm almost 41 years old, and I have never felt better about myself. I earned those stretchmarks, and the stretchy tummy and the lines that are starting to show up around my eyes. My body is only a very small part of my sexiness. And it's on its way to smokin hot! : ) I absolutely have sexy potential! And so do you! This is a great thread, by the way... so interesting to see how people feel about themselves.

I don't think I've ever felt sexy in my life. Awkward and weird though? Oh, yeah.

Wow!! This is an interesting thread!!!

Im sexy and i know it!!!!

I'll be singing this song all day now! :happy:

Me too!!

Sexy is a state of mind. If you believe you're sexy, others will have no other choice but to respect it. Start with your thoughts and then align your body with them. I used to think I was sexy at 115 pounds. I'm well over that and KNOW I'm sexy! That's with 3 kids and a husband. He knows I'm sexy, too!

This!

I have never felt sexy...especially naked! I see myself and wonder how in hell my sexy husband can be attracted to that..yuck!
To be honest I'm not sure if that will ever change "skinny" or not because of the lovely road map my children left me

Yes, very much struggle.

Even though I'm a completely different person after weight loss and I get the most incredible compliments etc etc, I still can't get past all of that and I still just see myself the same way.

For example I've managed to get a girl to like me that I just find to be 10x out of my league in my head (from the past)

All I could think about was not wanting to take my shirt off and how she wouldn't enjoy it as a result and she did take it off and from then on I just didn't enjoy it at all. Like someone said previously they lost their "focus" I was the same and I just couldn't be myself. Trying to get past that now since she keeps on calling me trying to get me to see her so there's got to be something in my head a little!

I feel for you. I really really hope you can try to realise that she sees the good in you from the inside, and won't notice at all the 'outside' bits that you worry about. Don't let something good slip away because of who you feel you were.

I am trying to come to terms with that I'm beginning to realise she must like me quite a bit to be contacting me, just need to get my head round it a bit, I'm sure with time it will improve. I won't let it slip away simply because she's awesome. I just hope there's a day where I lie there with someone and think..yeah I don't look bad and feel sexy. I get it a little occasionally I guess when I get new clothes or something (something a bit tighter than previously.) Maybe I just need to meet a few new people instead of the people I really know and guage their reactions, then I might feel a bit better about it!

My feeling is this. A woman should wear something every day that makes her feel sexy. If it's a pair of red heels, a nice top or some racy under garments. I know I find it easier to feel sexy when I'm feeling fit and rim, but I could do it before my 50 lb loss too.

I wear perfume. That's the one thing I can slip into that won't be ruined by my overweightedness.

If one were to close one's eyes so they can't see the fat, then inhale deeply, all one can smell is sweet loveliness. Win.

Marilyn Monroe said it best. When asked what she wore to bed, she replied, "Chanel No 5."

I have that issue now that I have all this extra baby weight on, but I felt sexy when I was pregnant, and even sexier before I got pregnant (hahaha... maybe that's what lead to the pregnancy ) and was at the best shape of my life. We will always pick flaws with our own bodies. We need to learn to love those flaws and move on. Each one of us is sexy and the more confidence we have, the sexier we are!! If you get into that mind set that its never enough there is always something wrong, that's when you can have problems like anorexia or bulimia. Need to look in the mirror every day and find something you love different about yourself every day!

what she said, that's why it's good to set REALISTIC goals and appreciate your body !

Ooh! I just thought of someone who's considered universally sexy and she's not a slender lass, not by a long shot.

Two words for you:


Nigella. Lawson.










Suddenly I feel better.