once a cheater always a cheater - true or false?

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  • La_Amazona
    La_Amazona Posts: 4,855 Member
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    I always say there are 2 types of cheaters...

    One type cheats like there's no tomorrow. You can say they don't have a conscious. They do it for whatever reason and usually don't think about the consequences. These cheaters I'd say will always be cheaters. It's a condition of the heart. Even if they physically stop cheating, they'll always play around with the idea. They'll enjoy playing with fire w/o the burn.

    Then there are the cheaters who make the biggest mistake of their life. They're remorseful, they're disgusted with themselves and will do anything to make it right. These usually will never cheat again because they're terrified at the hurt they caused. Also, these folks will stay away from anything remotely close to cheating because they know how easy the slippery slope is. These are cheaters who once were.. but not always will be.

    I agree with this!! Unfortunately I ended up with the first type but he is history now!

    ME TOO!!! Thus why I know so much about this lol.
  • sweetiepie31612
    sweetiepie31612 Posts: 240 Member
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    Both! Although it's still not right, some people have a pretty good reason to cheat--abusive relationship, etc. When the reason is removed, the cheating stops. Some people just like to cheat and will probably continue as long as they can get away with it.

    I disagree. There is never a good reason to cheat. Either you love and respect someone enough to talk out your problems, think about your actions would effect them, and remain faithful. Or you don't feel that way and you cheat, in which case, you should have ended the relationship. If you're in an abusive relationship, you leave, you don't just cheat.
  • anchorageb2
    anchorageb2 Posts: 55 Member
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    Well I seen stone thrower on here.Get off the diet site since your so perfect. If Jesus can forgive those who did it for money and not for love then he can forgive those who may of done it for attention or lack of self-esteem.
    Keep in mind cheating is not only physical but mental too. If your pleasing yourself with thoughts of someone else or something else other than your partner, YOU are cheating.

    So for the flirters or lookers who think you are not hurting your partner.... You are wrong and still a cheater. If you are making excuses for your thoughts or things you have done that was not loving your partner... You are a cheater.
    Can you get over it ... Yes but only when you are honest about what you are doing and why you are doing it. Then when you figure out you really love your partner then you can be satisfied.
  • charlotte66
    charlotte66 Posts: 248 Member
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    false

    i cheated on a boyfriend once when i was 16 young and dumb was horrible never told him untill we ended then he told me anyway that he had slept with that guys gf didnt feel so bad then he was 21 so probly should of had more sence! ive moved on and grown up he hasnt 5 years later wants me back but he was a cheater and will always be a cheater as i know from recent girlfriends

    but now with my partner i would never ever cheat on him hes my world we have a family together i would never want to ruin that and id hope he wouldnt either because he knows he would lose everthing as i wouldnt come back
  • DeeJayTJ
    DeeJayTJ Posts: 355 Member
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    where are all the men posts?

    this thread is like 80% women! makes me feel like women are more prone to cheating than men!! (which i already think)
  • PantalaNagaPampa
    PantalaNagaPampa Posts: 1,031 Member
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    Cheating is simply unapproved "strange". If your current relationship is unsatisfying, either end it or modify it, openly with your partner. Don't hide it. THAT'S cheating. Search online for "monogamish". Sometimes being monogamish can save a relationship.

    Just saying...

    BTW, I am not monogamish.

    Or you could go all-out and be polyamorous, or swing, or one of the many other labels for various types of consensual non-monogamy. The key word here being consensual...
    Poly and cuckolding lifestyles are gaining more mainstream following each year... prolly b/c of the internet and free flow of information... this is turning into a FL thread.... LOL :laugh:
  • HauteP1nk
    HauteP1nk Posts: 2,139 Member
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    False. People do grow up and do change.

    That being said, there are some people out there that will never learn to be good no matter how many times their hands get slapped.
  • gerirojas
    gerirojas Posts: 101 Member
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    I disagree, my husband cheated on his girlfriend when he met me (after about 6 months of hanging out first) , he felt terrible but he knew she wasn't the one for him, he told her and ended there relationship and we have been married 6 years together 11, I trust him completely.
  • Jipples
    Jipples Posts: 663 Member
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    where are all the men posts?

    this thread is like 80% women! makes me feel like women are more prone to cheating than men!! (which i already think)

    bingo

    I wonder how many people are honest about their views on cheating. It's such a frowned upon thing for obvious reasons, that everyone seems to become holier than thou. Well, SOMEONE is cheating. lol

    I've read that generally speaking, 30% of people cheat......I think that number is waaaayyyyy higher. Seriously, who's going to admit 'yeah, i'm cheating'.:huh:
  • LaMujerMasBonitaDelMundo
    LaMujerMasBonitaDelMundo Posts: 3,634 Member
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    1000000000000000000000000000000% TRUE.. believe me I've been cheated twice by the same man & the worse was that he left me for the very same reason: another women he just recently met, this happened on 2 separate year, first in 2010 & the other one just 2 weeks ago :cry:
  • BeeElMarvin
    BeeElMarvin Posts: 2,086 Member
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    where are all the men posts?

    this thread is like 80% women! makes me feel like women are more prone to cheating than men!! (which i already think)

    Actually, in my experience, I tend to agree - though that may have more to do with the type of woman that I've been attracted to.
    :ohwell:
  • Jipples
    Jipples Posts: 663 Member
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    where are all the men posts?

    this thread is like 80% women! makes me feel like women are more prone to cheating than men!! (which i already think)

    Actually, in my experience, I tend to agree - though that may have more to do with the type of woman that I've been attracted to.
    :ohwell:


    *kitten*?

    sorry.....couldn't pass it up. :)
  • QueenJayJay
    QueenJayJay Posts: 1,139
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    OP- I think it's really cool of you to admit that.
  • nashtyone
    nashtyone Posts: 36
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    Doing stupid things as a teenager is expected. You were about 16 when this happened? I can see that... who hasn't done stupid things as a teenager??

    For me - a married adult - if my husband cheated on me it really wouldn't matter because I wouldn't stay around to find out.
    We're adults. It's a choice. Cheating is a disrespecting, dishonorable, selfish, cowardly choice.

    If a person is so weak that they're willing to potentially sacrifice their relationship or family for a cheap thrill, they should not be in a committed relationship.

    If a person is so miserable in their current relationship they enter into a full fledged affair - they should have left the bad relationship.

    My view as a 39 year old woman is: There is no justification for cheating. It means that you are weak of moral character and cowardly. Chances are you'll stay that way too.

    True dat.
  • DeeJayTJ
    DeeJayTJ Posts: 355 Member
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    where are all the men posts?

    this thread is like 80% women! makes me feel like women are more prone to cheating than men!! (which i already think)

    Actually, in my experience, I tend to agree - though that may have more to do with the type of woman that I've been attracted to.
    :ohwell:

    LOL AGREE

    ive been cheated on, its a horrible horrible thing. yeah she looks like a porn star, so what!? LOL now shes marrying a rich man twice her age!
  • Myndi73
    Myndi73 Posts: 270
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    I wouldn's stick around long enough to find out. Once is too many for me.
  • LeelaLosing
    LeelaLosing Posts: 237 Member
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    I always say there are 2 types of cheaters...

    One type cheats like there's no tomorrow. You can say they don't have a conscious. They do it for whatever reason and usually don't think about the consequences. These cheaters I'd say will always be cheaters. It's a condition of the heart. Even if they physically stop cheating, they'll always play around with the idea. They'll enjoy playing with fire w/o the burn.

    Then there are the cheaters who make the biggest mistake of their life. They're remorseful, they're disgusted with themselves and will do anything to make it right. These usually will never cheat again because they're terrified at the hurt they caused. Also, these folks will stay away from anything remotely close to cheating because they know how easy the slippery slope is. These are cheaters who once were.. but not always will be.

    i totally agree, it depends on the person. some people feel they are entitled to do whatever they want and have the best of both worlds, other people learn from hurting others and mature....i also think there are a large contingent of people (i've noticed more meant than woman) who don't have the balls to get out of a relationship that is not working for them and cheat vs. getting out clean and honorably and then find the next person......
  • auticus
    auticus Posts: 1,051 Member
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    Absolutes do not exist. You can not use the words "always" and "never" because everything has a beginning and ending point.

    However with human condition, I will say that people are weighted towards certain behaviors more often than not, so a person who has cheated in the past has a higher probability to cheat again.
  • mm3898
    mm3898 Posts: 138 Member
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    I always say there are 2 types of cheaters...

    One type cheats like there's no tomorrow. You can say they don't have a conscious. They do it for whatever reason and usually don't think about the consequences. These cheaters I'd say will always be cheaters. It's a condition of the heart. Even if they physically stop cheating, they'll always play around with the idea. They'll enjoy playing with fire w/o the burn.

    Then there are the cheaters who make the biggest mistake of their life. They're remorseful, they're disgusted with themselves and will do anything to make it right. These usually will never cheat again because they're terrified at the hurt they caused. Also, these folks will stay away from anything remotely close to cheating because they know how easy the slippery slope is. These are cheaters who once were.. but not always will be.

    THIS. This this this. The trick is knowing the difference, but I'm a believer that there isn't one type of cheater- thanks for putting that more eloquently than I could!
  • kappy_hollowell
    kappy_hollowell Posts: 399
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    FALSE! - for my situation.... My hubby, when in high school, 'went out' on his girlfriend, but she did it to him first. They were always tit-for-tat for years, well at least that's what his step-mom says (she's been known to falsify things *lie*) He doesn't cheat on me, and never will. I have total faith and trust in him.

    BUT, I do believe that there are people who will always cheat, but these people will always be looking for another relationship to trash and another heart to break. BUT IT WONT BE MINE!

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