No, "it" isn't an open invitation for you to ....
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Don't EVER go to India. My partner was posted there, and I spent a lot of time visiting. Questions like that are simply not considered even the slightest bit intrusive, total strangers will ask the sorts of questions that you'd never think would be asked - for instance "How much do you earn?" (tactful answer: enough to meet my modest needs)After I tell you I am married and don't have children, it is NOT OK for you to:
1) Ask why I don't have kids
2) Ask when I plan on having kids
3) Tell me that you're sure I'll change my mind (I'm 40, have been married 15 years and my husband has had a vasectomy - we're pretty darn sure that babies are not for us!)
4) Tell me you think it's 'weird' for a woman not to want children
Seriously... everyone from family to acquaintances to people I just randomly meet seems to think my fertility and child-bearing prospects are suitable for casual conversation. Everyone also seems to feel entitled to an opinion. Drives me nuts!
On the plus side, being exposed to that "culture of curiosity" has made me a lot less defensive about being asked very personal questions. It was an incredible place and I loved it, but after coming back from India, EVERYTHING about my country feels so easy and stress free. :bigsmile:0 -
I had one friend ask who would take care of me when I was old if I didn't have children to do it. Do people really have kids for that reason??
Shoot! I forgot to mention that one on my list! I always tell people that having a child is no guarantee that you're going to have a good relationship with them or that they're going to be willing to take care of you when you're old.0 -
People giving me parenting advice. I have 4 kids, been there done that, got the t-shirt. I don't need your opinion on poop, breastfeeding, formula feeding, puke, food, baby-wearing, co-sleeping, making my own food, spanking, discipline or anything else kid related. I will raise my kids the best way I know how and do what I feel is best for them. If you don't like it, TOUGH!!!
^^THIS^^
I have seven and I STILL get 'advice'.0 -
People giving me parenting advice. I have 4 kids, been there done that, got the t-shirt. I don't need your opinion on poop, breastfeeding, formula feeding, puke, food, baby-wearing, co-sleeping, making my own food, spanking, discipline or anything else kid related. I will raise my kids the best way I know how and do what I feel is best for them. If you don't like it, TOUGH!!!
I get this. A LOT. I don't even have children yet.
When people find out I have been with hubby for nearly seven years, living with him a month less than I have been with him and married for over three years they instantly want to know why I haven't got children yet. It's not my fault we dont' have children (technically it is me that has the problems though), I am working on having them and frankly it's none of your business. And just because I am having problems, that does not mean you have the right to tell me to "relax and it will happen" or "you need to stop stressing because it won't happen" or "only those who believe in God are blessed with children, maybe you should start thinking about religion and taking it seriously" - Erm, no thanks, get lost before I hit you very hard ad enjoy watching your nose break, or "are you doing it right?" - Are you freaking kidding me with that one?!?!?
N.B. I'm not a violent person. Usually.
I hear ya. I have kids now, but I treid everysingle month for 4 1/2 years to get pregnant - using a variety of fertility meds, procedures, surgeries finally goig through IVF. I swear to god, even years later, "just relax" pisses me the hell off. Oh - and when I answer someone's "the test is negative but i ~feel~ pregnant" question and they dismiss my answer to them because of what "they" say, I honestly picture myself stabbing them in the eyes with knitting needles. (sorry, can't tell that touched a nerve, eh?)0 -
Yes I have boobs and don't live in turtle necks because they make me look fat so....
Yes 'it' is cleavage but no it doesn't give you an excuse to stare, point, touch, or talk to it!
I'm the opposite!! I have a naturally small frame and an A cup. I love my body and I would never get implants to change them! However, girls love to point out that I have smaller boobs. I've overheard girls say "yes, she's pretty.... but poor thing has no boobs." I do have boobs!!! And I like the way I look naked, thank you very much!! I've literally had FRIENDS tell me I'm pretty... but I should get a boob job. Thanks for your opinion ladies but I'm not shy about them and I don't care. I have a boyfriend that loves me, my body, and my A cup! If a guy didn't want to be with me because of my breast size, then he isn't the guy for me. Oh and btw.. That padded bra your wearing isn't fooling anyone anyway, miss thang.
In general, I wish girls were nicer to each other. I try to appreciate other women's beauty, not envy it or hate them. Remember ladies, we're on the same team!
That is why I have really enjoyed my time on this site. This community is often kind, uplifting, and motivating.. Thanks everyone!! 0 -
"its" not ok to ask me how far along I am.
I am not pregnant, never have been, just over weight and holding it in my lower waist. Thanks for the confidence booster you ignorant jerk.0 -
My hair...
It's really long, I get that, but seriously... stop touching it! Unless it attacked you first, I see no reason why it should be in your hands!0 -
I just have something about me that some people think my purpose on this planet is to solve all their life's problems and mysteries. Apparently, I am Google, Dear Abby and WebMD in one. If I got a dollar every time someone asked me a question, I wouldn't need to find a job! :laugh:
HA!
Add to that, I'm the mom at all the kids' sporting events, that is asked, by other children, 'where's my mom'.
Like I've taken roll call, and kept track of all the adults.0 -
wow, to the original poster...
do you think people are creepy if they compliment you on your tattoos?
im generally an outspoken person and enjoy being social.. your post makes me never want to say anything nice to someone again about their awesome artwork.
thanks for that.
Yes... the same here - never again. I appreciate art and tats are art (for the doer & owner) and thought I was being nice making a verbal acknowledgement. I've learned something, as it seems that others share this feeling and will consciously practice refrain. I myself have numerous piercings and actually enjoy people taking notice but do not appreciate the touching - that's a "personal space" thing.0 -
Yes I have boobs and don't live in turtle necks because they make me look fat so....
Yes 'it' is cleavage but no it doesn't give you an excuse to stare, point, touch, or talk to it!
YEP!! I was a late bloomer too, so people from HS (I left a small town after 10th grade) who found me later on social networks always ask when I had them done. Um, I didn't! In fact, I want them gone!0 -
My "it" would be my piercing and my half sleeve. People will stop me when trying to buy groceries or when I'm tending to my son. Seriously yes it's permanent, I did it because I wanted to, and not my piercing doesn't come out. I also get told how I should raise my son since a lot of people think I'm too young.0
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I have 5 kids, and often drag others around with me as well. I ALWAYS get
~Are they all yours?
~Do you own a tv?
~Don't you know what causes that?
~ Do you want/will you have more?
~Well, *I* could never have that many kids! (Nobody asked you to.)
~I could *never* stay home with my kids. They drive me crazy. (They'd probably drive me crazy too. Luckily I stay home with mine, not yours.)
When i'm pregnant people seem to think they can just walk up and touch my belly. It doesn't matter if they know me or not, apparently pregnant bellies are public domain.
When my babies were little I had more than one strange person come up to me and smell my baby. Yes, SMELL my baby. I always used to wash them in Johnson's Baby Wash. Random stranger would take a deep sniff of their teeny heads and say "oooohhhh I love the way babies smell!"
It was kind of nice to see people loving on my babies, but a little weird when they were people I didn't know.
Aaaaaand ^^THIS^^.
Yup, been there, t-shirt and everything 0 -
My "it" is kickboxing. People find out I train and prove that there is such a thing as a stupid question....
No, I can't knock out a bear.
well, have you TRIED?0 -
Yes I have boobs and don't live in turtle necks because they make me look fat so....
Yes 'it' is cleavage but no it doesn't give you an excuse to stare, point, touch, or talk to it!
YEP!! I was a late bloomer too, so people from HS (I left a small town after 10th grade) who found me later on social networks always ask when I had them done. Um, I didn't! In fact, I want them gone!
Don't know why my part is showing up in blue too :grumble:0 -
My "it" is kickboxing. People find out I train and prove that there is such a thing as a stupid question....
No, I can't knock out a bear.
well, have you TRIED?
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:0 -
my "it" would be djing.
no, i dont take request...no u dont know what will make everyone dance. NO you cannot tell me how to do my job and NO i wont dj your wedding or your birthday party... I stick to the clubs only!
to the O.P. This is a good thread, but i dont know how to read, i just comprehended that you didnt like people giving you attention towards your tattoos.0 -
I don't mind compliments or comments but I've had people actually grab my arm and pull me to get a better look at my face which really bothered me. I think the OP is referring to more negative comments. My fiancé's dad rubs my arm and says "I wish I could wash that off, why would you do that?". But to each his own. 0
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My "it" is kickboxing. People find out I train and prove that there is such a thing as a stupid question....
No, I can't knock out a bear.
well, have you TRIED?
Yes. You never know until you try.0 -
My hair is naturally very red...and in certain parts of the country (thank god not so much here in L.A.), people think it's ok to just come up to me and TOUCH MY HAIR!
I don't mind people asking me if it's natural.
I don't even mind when people ask me what brand my colorist uses and who he/she is. I truly take those comments as compliments...
...but if I don't know you, don't effing reach out and touch me unless I say you can! It's just as rude as touching a pregnant stranger's stomach.
On 2 occasions, I've had scissor wielding people come up to me wanting to cut a snippet of my hair to take to their colorist to match. While it's flattering that they like my hair enough to want to copy it...are you effing kidding me? CUT OFF PART OF MY HAIR FOR YOU?! No.
People come after my hair all the time with scissors!!! Yes, it is 4 ft long, but that's because I "like" it long!!0 -
My "it" would have to be my art.
1. No, I don't want to draw a picture of your dog.
2. No, I don't want to illustrate your ideas into a comic book, MUCH LESS FOR FREE.
3. No I don't design logos
4. Yes, it bothers me very much if you hang your head of my shoulder while I draw.
AND FOR THE LAST TIME, NO I DON'T DRAW ANIME.
*sheesh*0 -
I'm a freelance photographer/designer.
NO I will not photograph your wedding for free, or do you some portraits of your kids, or make you a poster for something, or "knock you up a quick website". It's how I make a living, duh.0 -
I can totally relate. I used to have microbraids and ppl used to come up to me and touch my hair and ask me how much it cost to get it done, how long does it last, how do I sleep on it, how long did it take to get done, then they ask to touch it or just touch it on their own. So YES I feel you on so many levels!0
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I'm a nurse and it is not ok for you to ask me to diagnose you...I don't know what that weird cramping in your foot/side is from, I don't know if you're going to die from that, I don't know why your pee is a weird color, and no I don't want to look at it. Unless you're my patient and I'm getting paid to take care of you stop asking me these kinds of questions.0
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my it... would have to be my hair and (this is a bit weird) eyelashes... YUP... eyelashes... I can't count how many people come up to me and ask if they are real, which is fine... I know they a prety sweet... but several people have tried to "pet" them... like I was some sort of puppy dog... who touches someone's eyelashes...? No touch! :laugh: :glasses:0
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wow, to the original poster...
do you think people are creepy if they compliment you on your tattoos?
im generally an outspoken person and enjoy being social.. your post makes me never want to say anything nice to someone again about their awesome artwork.
thanks for that.
I'm not the OP but...I don't think it's wrong to have someone compliment my tattoos but I don't feel I have to give you the "deep meaning" of them or defend my choice in having them. There is a big difference between a compliment and prying or being judgmental.
Agree with the second point. You can't see mine all the time so I don't get bugged but why do we have to justify what we spend our money on? Or why we like it?0 -
Ad OP, c'mon... no one goes full-sleeves unless they enjoy being on display.
If your tattoos weren't intended to differentiate and distinguish you from the herd, they'd be someplace concealable like mine are.
I'll be the first to admit you are totally right. I never said I didn't like attention. I just don't like the stupid attention. tell me you like em - sweet! Chat a bit about who my artist is - awesome! Ask me to explain the deep meaning (because dont' ALL tattoos have meaning) of each and every one of them while in line at starbucks? really?0 -
LOL not sure if this counts... but my butt always seems to be topic of conversation. Just because it's big doesn't mean you can...
-come up and ask me if it's real and/or did the surgery hurt? (strangers have actually asked me this)
-openly grab it in public (yes, strangers have done this also! there was alcohol involved, but still...)0 -
OMG...same here...people are like baby-pushers..."you HAVE to have kids"....After I tell you I am married and don't have children, it is NOT OK for you to:
1) Ask why I don't have kids
2) Ask when I plan on having kids
3) Tell me that you're sure I'll change my mind (I'm 40, have been married 15 years and my husband has had a vasectomy - we're pretty darn sure that babies are not for us!)
4) Tell me you think it's 'weird' for a woman not to want children
Seriously... everyone from family to acquaintances to people I just randomly meet seems to think my fertility and child-bearing prospects are suitable for casual conversation. Everyone also seems to feel entitled to an opinion. Drives me nuts!
UMMM... "Why?"
Its SO inappropriate to comment on that. I don't ask them why they had theirs...so its none of their business that we don't want our own....0 -
My boobs. But If I am walking those puppies you can look at them but you can't pet them cos their mum will bite you. Grrrrrrrrr:devil:0
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I'm the animal person at work. I've caught and released a bird and saved 3 feral kittens (one I kept, one was taken by someone that works in the building, and one I trapped and took to a local shelter).I'm the animal person in my family and friend group. Every person comes to me when they find a cat or a dog that has been abandoned, or when they need to have an animal spayed.
I don't mind it, but at one point, I had way too many cats in my house to handle lol.
I'm sure springtime will bring new litters of kittens *sigh*.0
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