Finding it hard to stick to with unsupportive partner

There are too many posts here talking about they way HE feels or thinks. Guys are not that deep. He's an an *kitten*. Weight loss is not about calorie counting - it's a lifestyle change. You have to make hard choices that involve more than eating and exercising. In addition to being completely disrespectful to you he's setting a horrible example for your child.

Difficult situation but first, as others have mentioned, you have to have a heart to heart with him - not necessarily about his lifestyle and health (only he can choose to take the fitness journey and make himself heathier for him) - but about how he is treating you and behaving toward you. If that doesn't help to change things then you need to seriously look at your relationship - I realize having a child together does change things - but think of this - is this the type of behavior you want your child to learn? Do you want your child to feel it is ok to be treated like this by their significant other? Or do you want your child to treat their SO like this? Tough questions and no easy answers I'm afraid. Whatever you choose, don't let your SO take away your motivation. In the end this journey is yours!! Good Luck:flowerforyou:

There are too many posts here talking about they way HE feels or thinks. Guys are not that deep. He's an an *kitten*. Weight loss is not about calorie counting - it's a lifestyle change. You have to make hard choices that involve more than eating and exercising. In addition to being completely disrespectful to you he's setting a horrible example for your child.

are you a guy? im sorry to say but most men i know DO have feelings and are smart enough to be deeper than *gruntgrungurnt* "i like cheetos" i seriously cant think of ONE guy im close with that is as shallow as the stereotype.

ugh seriously, why is everyone's last word on men that they're complete idiots? you need to start hanging out with smarter people....

I haven't read all of the replies, but I will second the person who advised you to go to counseling. If you have insurance, it very well might be covered (mine was), and it's worth the money.

If you have a daughter together, and if he's an ok guy in every other way, you owe it to your child to go to therapy and see if the two of you can communicate better on this issue.

Best of luck. I am NOT an advocate of just staying together for a child, by the way. Not at all. I just think that therapy often can help.

Or you could donkey punch him in his sleep.

This is by far my favorite answer of all!! Seriously, I'm going to second this one!!!!
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Agreed!

You just need to tell him sometime that you want to talk real quick, and be serious. Explain your motivation for wanting to lose weight and get healthy. And make it clear that it's very important to you, and that it would be a lot easier and a better experience if he was supportive. If it's important to you, it should be important to your partner, period. If he can't take that seriously or respect that fact that you want him behind you in this, then it's quite possible that you don't need him in your life. I'm a big believer in surrounding myself with people I care about and who care about me as well, and my friends/significant others (when I have one =D) are a big source of motivation and encouragement for me. I go through their ups and downs with them, and I expect the same back....and you should too.

Keep up your quest to be healthy, and let him know he should get on board or get off the train. =D

EDIT: I didn't see that you mentioned you had a child together....but I still don't think that means separating isn't an option. I know it makes it more difficult but I don't think anyone should sacrifice their physical wellbeing or psychological/emotional wellbeing for the sake of a child. What if your daughter grows up and wants to eat healthy too....and he laughs and doesn't support it, that's not good for her either.

U mentioned u have a child.. tug on his heart strings and say your doing it for her because u want to see ur grandkids. If that wont spur him on to not only support you but get of his @rse and get himself healthy then i would start packing his bags. Harsh but honest. Good luck on your journey and stick at it xx

On dear, this makes me so sad. I'm so sorry you're in this situation because it eats at you from the inside out. I'm guessing that before you started your venture into health that most everything that went on in your home (that involves both of you) has been centered around what he wants. The idea that he demands that you sit next to him during his tv shows chills me to the core. Does he not trust you out of his sight? I would also imagine that the kinds of shows he wants to watch aren't appropriate for a 1 yr old - what about what she needs, is she forced to stay in the room as well?

I'm so proud of you for standing up, carving out a bit of space for yourself and owning your own health with all that "muck" in the air. Surely that was difficult and probably threatens the heck out of him - uh oh, she's learning to think on her own? Act on her own? Surely this must be squashed immediately!

Don't let him.

And do please think on the entire relationship - the atmosphere of the home. Is it a nurturing, supportive environment to raise a child? My ex never hit me, but he threw things. Often in my general direction - far enough off that he could claim he wasn't aiming for me, but .. really, what's the difference? He also smashed and punched things when he lost his temper. It was only a matter of time before it was me or our daughter at the receiving end. I didn't want to live in a home where I was afraid - and I sure as he11 didn't want my daughter raised in that world. Since it was my home and he didn't have a job, I told him to leave. It was terrifying (I had friends on standby to call the police that night in case he lost it) ... but it was the best thing I ever did in that relationship.

Perhaps there are some agencies in your area you could talk to - counseling, etc. - and plan your path forward. Take care of yourself and that sweet baby!

I feel your pain! IMO, your boyfriend is being a douche. He can be supportive of your weight loss and not be on a diet at the same time.

My husband is the same way. While he does encourage me, he doesn’t do anything to help me. He says I’m doing good, he tells me when he sees weight loss (or inches). But he eats whatever he wants (and it shows) and it’s really hard for me. I’m now almost 30 days in and it’s gotten easier. You really just have to have the willpower and again, it gets easier. Keep in mind, whether it’s your boyfriend eating junk food in front of you or another person, it’s always going to be there.

My husband will choose to go eat McDonald’s or Subway instead of eating fish and veggies when I cook dinner. Okay, fine. Go ahead. Yes, the bread is soft and yummy. Yes the sub tastes awesome. But at what cost? I’m not willing to eat that and give up all my hard work. Are you?

Find substitutes for snacks. I’m a huge fan of the Fiber One Brownies (90 calories each). I also love a low fat graham cracker with peanut butter. Or some crackers where I can eat 15 of them and dip them in cheese. There ARE alternates out there, you just have to find them and get in the habit of eating them instead of falling for the horrible junk food.

Treat yourself with mini goals. If you hit the 10 lb mark, go treat yourself to a pedicure or a new t-shirt or shoes or something. But make yourself feel good about your weight loss journey because it’s hard, it takes work, dedication, and it’s quite liberating when you reach your mini goals.

I know it’s not easy when you have the food in front of you. My husband buys separate groceries from what I buy. I pay for the food each week, so he eats what I buy or he goes off and buys his own. And as for sharing the TV, your boyfriend needs to hush. I fight with my son and husband on occasion, but my workout DVD is only 20 mins. I really try to do my workout first thing in the morning before work so it’s done and over with. But sometimes I can’t wake up and I do it after work. They get pissy, but oh well, it’s 20 mins, they can go find something else to do. I always pull the Maid card, “You can do the dishes and clean your room. By the time you’re done, I will be too” It usually shuts them up!

You can do this! Set your mind to it….you got this! With or without his support!

I don't think I need to tell you he's being a huge *kitten*. You sound like you already know that. But if you guys have already gone through this before then it sounds like you do need to re-evaluate your relationship. Me, personally, I'd leave him but I can understand how that would be harder with a child. If you know it's best for you and your child do it. Don't listen to those who tell you you're being selfish for leaving him...you deserve to be happy and supported!

That being said my husband was never 100% on board with fitness and healthy eating, but he would never do the things you're saying you bf has been doing. He would go workout with me but still eat *kitten*...although he was nice enough to take things that he knew tempted me to work with him and leave them in his desk for lunch, etc. Now he is on board b/c he knows he needs to get his butt in shape and b/c I'm even more serious and have told him I need help to stay with it. Someone who truly loves you won't purposefully belittle you on your journey to make yourself healthier and the best you can be.