Do you think it is true that marriage...

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  • abcwhite10
    abcwhite10 Posts: 140 Member
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    I would bet having children is a much bigger factor than just getting married. Once you have kids everything revolves around them, not yourselves anymore.

    ^^^^ This - definitely!! I/We were good until we had a houseful of busy children that require 110% of our attention and time. I know lots of people say you have to make time for yourself, make time for exercise, make yourself a priority, but it really is easier said than done. In my house I am the main source of reliable income (my hubby farms - seasonal and not always reliable source of cash lol). I am away for work M - F from 7am to 6pm. During the winter we have 2 kids in hockey in two different towns and next year it will be 3 kids. During the summer there is baseball, swimming and busy with the farm. Not to mention the after school activities they are involved in, the dr visits, the dentist visits and so on and so on. Our prioirty with our "spare time" is to spend it as an entire family - as not very often are all 5 of us in the same place at the same time. That being said, we try to make those occasions something where we can all get physical......like skating, snowboarding, swimming, hiking or whatever. But it is very difficult to make exerices a daily priority I can commit to, so I am left to fit it in whenver I can.
    I think (hope) that most people don't actually have the conscious thought in their mind of "I got him/her........it doesn't really matter anymore. I have no one to impress". If that is indeed the case......not caring, that is really too bad. I want my husband to look at me with that "want" every single day (being able to act on it after we collapse into to bed for the day.......well that's a whole other thing lol) and when I don't feel like I'm looking so hot anymore, it is more motivation to get back at it. I think for a lot of us we tend to lose "ourselves" in out families and before we know what has really happened we are 20 pounds up.
  • coe28
    coe28 Posts: 715 Member
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    It was true for me. I didn't gain a ridiculous amount of weight or anything when I got married but I gained about 15 lbs. And for me it was because I had to make dinner every night because someone else was depending on me, whereas when I was single, I just didn't eat much because it wasn't worth cooking only for myself. It wasn't that I let myself go, it was just because I was comfortable (and probably healthier than when I was single).
  • carolann_22
    carolann_22 Posts: 364 Member
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    double post
  • Okieace
    Okieace Posts: 56
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    Me and my wife has been married three months and have both lost nearly fifteen pounds. :)
  • Cathnger
    Cathnger Posts: 72
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    The statement is TRUE (Married twice so far and I'm 28 lol) BUT it also applies if your not married and live together. It's not because you've stopped taking care of yourself it's because - when your single (for a lot of people this is not all) you strive to improve yourself and make yourself phsyically more apealing. (Your own interpretation of what attractive is anyway) This is quite often done unknowingly, a person may not realise or think that they are doing certain things in order to find a partner BUT 99% of times when you meet someone and it's a long term relationship and you live together you no longer need to do the things you used to.

    Also you can pick up bad habits from partners (including eating paterns)
  • YassSpartan
    YassSpartan Posts: 1,195 Member
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    By the way, when I say
    when people get married, they feel they already have someone with them, so there's no need to take care of themselves anymore
    I don't mean this in a conscious way. Remember as humans sometimes we do things without even noticing or being aware of it, which is where the subconscious comes into play.
  • Lilly2705
    Lilly2705 Posts: 1
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    Sadly enough, I've gained like 30 pounds since I got married and I am determined not to gain another ounce.
    I think when you try to put 2 people's eating habits, foods they like, times they eat, snacks, etc. together then what you do for the other person may not work for you.
    In my case, I got married -week long honeymoon (vacation means lbs.) and moved to a new state-new home, no job, no friends =nothing to do=snack and gain weight. I also then took a job, different from my old one, and am now at a desk most of the day=gain weight. I took a big pay cut so stress + no more gym =more weight gain.
    PLUS I'm happy in my marriage! They don't put 'fat and happy' together for no reason!
    Good luck newlyweds!!
  • PunkyRachel
    PunkyRachel Posts: 1,959 Member
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    yes, I believe it to be true. I was slightly overweight when we got married, I was a size 14, he was size 30 pants, now 7 years later, I'm a 18, was up to 20 at one point, and he's 38 pants.
  • kristal_1973
    kristal_1973 Posts: 33 Member
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    I think the reason people gain weight once they are married is because of the downward shift in activity levels... At least for me...it was because I was no longer going out 3 to 4 times a week dancing and hitting the clubs. I wasn't out and about doing sports, etc, all the things you do to meet new people, for me, slowed way down after marriage. :)
  • kagenw
    kagenw Posts: 260 Member
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    I think that the reason that people gain weight after getting married aren't as obvious as we all care to think. I'll throw my guesses out there though.
    Once you get married, people tend to relax a lot more and not care about looking their best for their spouse. We also know that sex releases a lot of endorphins that affect those pleasure centers of the brain, the same pleasure centers that eating good food affects. So it's not too surprising that people want to eat after doing the deed. Additionally, a lot of people tend to take it easy for a good week or two after the wedding (honeymoon) which combined with the excess eating would help make putting on pounds a lot easier.
  • mslack01
    mslack01 Posts: 823 Member
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    I would bet having children is a much bigger factor than just getting married. Once you have kids everything revolves around them, not yourselves anymore.

    And yes, children are a factor. I found that it was harder for me to lose weight after having a child. My metabolism changed. Secondly, when your kids become active in their various activities and you also work 40 hours per week, it doesn't leave a lot of time for planning healthy meals and continuing to get them to their various activities--unless you are superchef (which I am not). We have had to limit our one child to just one activity and I have to plan ahead of time for days when I won't be home to cook in order for us to have a healthy meal. I don't know how people with more than one child manage it at all. On the really busy days now I try to have something going in the slow cooker.
  • Sydney0710
    Sydney0710 Posts: 61 Member
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    For women, I think it's more about pregnancy than it is marriage.
  • KareninCanada
    KareninCanada Posts: 795 Member
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    There are a lot of reasons for it... I didn't gain much weight after getting married because I was already overweight. But he did... especially some sympathetic pregnancy gains. lol I like to cook, and before we had kids we also tended to eat out a lot. It's easier to stay home and watch TV together than to make the effort to plan an active date... and TV comes with food... everything comes with food...

    But in general married people have better longevity, so overall it's still good for you. :)
    Single men have mortality rates that are 250% higher than married men. Single women have mortality rates that are 50% higher than married women (Ross et all, 1990).
  • FunRun08
    FunRun08 Posts: 203 Member
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    For me it was much simpler, I did not know how to cook for 2. When I was alone, I just cooked enough for me when I was hungry, but when I got married I felt like I should make nice dinners for us. When I cooked some of my favorite recipes I didn't know how to cut them down from feeding my family of 6 where I grew up and adjust for our just starting out family of 2. To the point of the OP, my dad told me once that my mom had "let herself go" after baby #3. Hearing him say that broke my heart, and I vowed that my husband would never think that about me.
  • tnvolsfan74
    tnvolsfan74 Posts: 83 Member
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    I gotta say, probably the fact that after marriage most couple stop complimenting each other, might have a psychological effect that contributes to gain weight and not caring anymore. In other words, Self-esteem goes down and weight goes up.

    ^^^ this - is absolutely a factor. And, as others have said, it depends on each other's habits, kids, stress, schedules. I don't think you can strictly pin it to just marriage in general.
  • MaximalLife
    MaximalLife Posts: 2,447 Member
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    Sure - but that won't wash around our house.
    When I got fat, my wife came right out and told me...

    "You're too fat! I am not attracted to you this way".

    And if she ever let herself go, bye bye!

    It may not be like that with everybody, fine. Between us, staying fit is part of the deal or the deal is OFF.
  • achampionsheart
    achampionsheart Posts: 1,020 Member
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    i agree.....its called "getting comfortable".....you eat good, you have someone that supposedly loves you as you are, so its easy to get lazy.....
  • janeite1990
    janeite1990 Posts: 694 Member
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    I don't think most of marriage weight gain is about taking each other for granted. I think it is a combination of things, different ones for different people, but including

    *kids: pregnancy changes your body
    *kids: your life revolves around them and you don't have time for yourself
    *kids: you feed them mac and cheese, pizza, and cheeseburgers and you eat that yourself, too
    *career: the older you get the more job responsibilities you are likely to have and that leaves less time for yourself
    *age + metabolism changes
    *marriage rewards: for example, I'm at the store and I see my husband's favorite brand of cookies, so I buy them to surprise him and then we both eat them. Or, he buys me candy for Valentine's Day

    I'm sure there are lots of other reasons, too, but I think those are part of it.
  • MB_Positif
    MB_Positif Posts: 8,897 Member
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    It happened to me too, but I am pretty sure it didn't happen because I didn't care. We were both guilty of making the choice to go out to dinner all of the time, especially after we had our son. Just too much convenience food and both of us were working full time with an hour commute each way. Didn't have a lot of time to think let alone exercise. So a year ago I decided to take control of it and he was supportive...and now he's working out too. Awesome. Now I believe staying fit and eating healthy is one of the best things you can do for your marrige for so many reasons, especially if you have kids :) Our 5 year old likes to exercise and has run a mile race already (less than 14 minutes which I thought was great for his size). He makes healthy food choices when given options of healthy and unhealthy foods. I call that a win-win!
  • Camsdette
    Camsdette Posts: 32 Member
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    A lot of people will put on weight when they enter a relationship. Not just marriage, but any long term relationship. There are loads of factors. You'd rather go to a movie than go to the gym, or maybe you like to cook special meals for your special someone, etc. In my case, I started eating like my husband eats. My husband has a much higher metabolism and can eat whatever he wants. I can't. He also happens to be in the military, which meant lots of traveling. Sitting in the car, eating fast food, and driving across the country. Before I knew it none of my clothes fit. Ideally you figure these things out pretty quickly. Next time we have to make a big cross country move, I'll know that I can't get the burger and fries like he does. I know I can't have chips with every meal like he does, and I can't have a few scoops of ice cream every night. After you figure that out, it's just about learning to keep your self control, even if his creamy pasta dish looks oh so much better than your salad with no dressing. But no, marriage is not a death sentence to your figure.

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