Do you think it is true that marriage...
Replies
-
On the contrary.. my very serious boyfriend whom I live with is part of what makes me want to stay fit and healthy!
If I'm one day so lucky that he proposes, and we get married, I fully intend to stay as fit as I possibly can so he'll never stop wanting me :smooched:
Does anyone go into marriage planning on gaining weight? I doubt it. I sure didn't. But if I thought for one second my husband would stop wanting me because I put on a few lbs it's for d**** sure he would not have be my husband. Love is not about something as silly as a waistline.
There's a reason 50% of marriages fail. People don't always know what the future holds for themselves and their marriages. I'm sure most people don't consider their spouse gaining a whole bunch of weight years into their marriage. When it happens, they then have to deal with it.
It would depends on the amount gained for sure. I could see it being a problem if they became obese or overweight to the point that they developed weight related illnesses and refused to try to lose it, because that would demonstrate an underlying issue (or stupidity). That would be on a par with not bathing or combing your hair or caring if your clothes match or fit.
But if someone simply gains a couple of pants sizes and a spouse resents it, then it doesn't sound like a very solid marriage to begin with to me.0 -
On the contrary.. my very serious boyfriend whom I live with is part of what makes me want to stay fit and healthy!
If I'm one day so lucky that he proposes, and we get married, I fully intend to stay as fit as I possibly can so he'll never stop wanting me :smooched:
Does anyone go into marriage planning on gaining weight? I doubt it. I sure didn't. But if I thought for one second my husband would stop wanting me because I put on a few lbs it's for d**** sure he would not have be my husband. Love is not about something as silly as a waistline.
There's a reason 50% of marriages fail. People don't always know what the future holds for themselves and their marriages. I'm sure most people don't consider their spouse gaining a whole bunch of weight years into their marriage. When it happens, they then have to deal with it.
It would depends on the amount gained for sure. I could see it being a problem if they became obese or overweight to the point that they developed weight related illnesses and refused to try to lose it, because that would demonstrate an underlying issue (or stupidity). That would be on a par with not bathing or combing your hair or caring if your clothes match or fit.
But if someone simply gains a couple of pants sizes and a spouse resents it, then it doesn't sound like a very solid marriage to begin with to me.
But how does one determine the cutoff? I mean if you are no longer attracted to your spouse because of weight gain, how do you deal with that?0 -
On the contrary.. my very serious boyfriend whom I live with is part of what makes me want to stay fit and healthy!
If I'm one day so lucky that he proposes, and we get married, I fully intend to stay as fit as I possibly can so he'll never stop wanting me :smooched:
Does anyone go into marriage planning on gaining weight? I doubt it. I sure didn't. But if I thought for one second my husband would stop wanting me because I put on a few lbs it's for d**** sure he would not have be my husband. Love is not about something as silly as a waistline.
Did I say they do? My apologies if what I said provoked you somehow. Thanks for insinuating that the happiness of my relationship correlates with something "as silly as" the size of my waistband (unlike yours). It doesn't, by the way. Maybe my lack of martial experience infuriates you, and I actually don't know what I'm talking about because I haven't been married, but I still fully intend to stay in shape and to be as attractive as I can be for the person that I love. You use your approach, I'll stick to mine, thanks.0 -
Yes I think Marriage has something to do with weight gain. I think its a mental thing, having children for women modivational thing.. It's easy to follow the hubby down the wrong road, midnight snacking (he works afternoons) than it is to say no.. I don't want that yummy pizza.. Honestly after 19 years together.. I find the statement true, you will either be healthy together or you wont.. who else are you going to do bad things with other than your husband/wife.. I find that if im alseep when he gets home with the munchies I wont get up to share.. well sometimes.. I have also been on my husband to goin me and be more acitve i think i may be breaking though is Marine head,,, maybe.. good luck everyone.0
-
Often what comes along with marriage is children. Somehow both men and women gain baby weight.0
-
As someone who has been married 21 years, I can say there is something wonderfully comforting about having someone in your life who loves and accepts you no matter what. My husband has always told me I'm attractive and sexy to him regardless of my weight. I'm so thankful for that, although I knew I had a few pounds to lose! But there are many other factors to the marriage weight gain - such as being content and happy, and having fun together, which often involves food. I love cooking special meals for the two of us, or going to favorite restaurants - and these things have led to some overeating, for sure. We also have 3 active children and have been busy taking care of them and often getting too little sleep, or eating on the run, and not really focusing on our own good health.
On the other hand, have you heard the statistic that married men tend to live longer than single men? I am convinced it's due to nagging wives, reminding their husbands to go to the doctor, or take their vitamins, or get some exercise... etc. More recently I have started adding more salads to our meals, sneaking in more veggies into the foods we eat, and generally trying to up our healthy food intake without making a big deal out of it. I think as wives we have a lot of influence over our family's habits and can do a lot to help turn the bad habits around.0 -
My hubby and I did gain weight but not because we figured we had someone so we didn't care. It was because we enjoyed doing everything together and especially eating and enjoying an adult beverage. I do care how I look for him, and that was one of my major motivating factors for signing up for this site. I want my hubby to think I am the most beautiful girl in the world and to look at me like he can't resist me always.
This! For me, it's that we wanted to go out, have fun, go to dinners, drink, etc. Not that we didn't care about looking good, just that we are so happy and having fun! Which unfortunately food and alcohol play a big part in that. But he's also the reason why I got into losing weight, because I wanted to look good!0 -
Do you think it is true that marriage is a major factor when it comes about gaining weight? Some people use it as a joke that all you need to do in order to gain weight is to get married.
The logic I'm finding behind this, although that statement is not always true, is that when people get married, they feel they already have someone with them, so there's no need to take care of themselves anymore. That goes for both women and men.
What do you think about this?
any long relationship will do this. I gained 50+ with fiancee, broke up, lost it all, then gained 50+ again with second fiancee who became wife.
You really have to find someone that is really into fitness. First one was skinny fat, size 0 but couldn't walk a mile. Second one swore she worked out a lot and even lost some weight while we were dating, but after moving in she stopped going to gym and now never moves off the couch
while I was out doing c25k and now Bridge to 10k. She even begs me not to exercise, says I'm at work all day and she never gets to see me but she refuses to come to gym with me. 0 -
I gained most of my weight then, but its not about not caring! I have always cared how I looked to him, he is the only one that matters! In fact for 99.9 of the three years we have been married I only dress up- do my hair-perfume etc for him, because thats who I care about seeing it. I think it has to do with getting comfortable & the persons eating habits. My husband has a naturaly fast metabolism and he eats whatever whenever with no weight gain. So on teh weekends he would wnat to go out we would go to raising canes the first year of our marriage at least every weekend sometimes twice. Going out and grabbing a dvd to rent became our normal date- so while he stayed the same, i blimped up! I tryed exercising here and there but got pregnant with high risk pregancys ( no exersice) twice. If I would have cut back on my portions of fast food and regularly eersiced I dont think it would have happend. So I think it becomes the fact that things are changing your in love and health is the last think on your mind. You are thinking about shared money, bank accounts cars, when to have kids, ect and enjoying your spouse, health just slips your mind.0
-
I've been married for 29 years and have gone from 140 when I was first married to 223 when I recently decided I had to do something different. Now, in those 29 years I spent the first 2 in college, where I gained 15 pounds, to 8 years in the Army where daily PT, racquetball and drinking reduced price beers from the CL6 store and officers' club boosted me to 180. When I got out 20 years ago I stopped doing all the PT and what not and have steadily gained.
It's not marriage for me, though my wife is a fabulous baker. It's my inability to eat only one of her fresh baked gingerbread cookies, my love for cheese and beer and ................. that made me gain that weight.
Now, I'm determined to get back to my Army weight, or better so I can live the next 50 years like I lived from 21 - 35!0 -
As someone who has been married 21 years, I can say there is something wonderfully comforting about having someone in your life who loves and accepts you no matter what. My husband has always told me I'm attractive and sexy to him regardless of my weight. I'm so thankful for that, although I knew I had a few pounds to lose! But there are many other factors to the marriage weight gain - such as being content and happy, and having fun together, which often involves food. I love cooking special meals for the two of us, or going to favorite restaurants - and these things have led to some overeating, for sure. We also have 3 active children and have been busy taking care of them and often getting too little sleep, or eating on the run, and not really focusing on our own good health.
On the other hand, have you heard the statistic that married men tend to live longer than single men? I am convinced it's due to nagging wives, reminding their husbands to go to the doctor, or take their vitamins, or get some exercise... etc. More recently I have started adding more salads to our meals, sneaking in more veggies into the foods we eat, and generally trying to up our healthy food intake without making a big deal out of it. I think as wives we have a lot of influence over our family's habits and can do a lot to help turn the bad habits around.
Amen! LOL This x 1000
0 -
It depends entirely on the couple. I may not be married (yet) but it happened for me and my boyfriend!
When we met we were both very active and healthy but after a little over a year together, he didn't renew his gym membership, I stopped swimming and instead of going for a hike together we would watch a movie together.
Both of us have now reached a point where we realize that we got into a "comfort zone" and without realizing it, stopped trying to impress each other or other people which lead to weight gain.
We still have our 'spark' but let's face it, neither of us want to see a beer belly when we could be enjoying some nice abs and certain activities, especially those in the bedroom, are just more enjoyable when you're in good shape!0 -
IT's worse when a couple has kids..They are ALOT of work, not saying its bad just stating a fact.. You have to make time to exercise!! I get up at 330am to workout so I can spend my evenings with my familyDo you think it is true that marriage is a major factor when it comes about gaining weight? Some people use it as a joke that all you need to do in order to gain weight is to get married.
The logic I'm finding behind this, although that statement is not always true, is that when people get married, they feel they already have someone with them, so there's no need to take care of themselves anymore. That goes for both women and men.
What do you think about this?0 -
It definitely happened to me since I left home 8 years ago in order to be with my boyfriend, turned fiance and now husband. At the beginning of this year my total weight gained had been 120 pounds! Only 5.5 years of that has been spent married. Personally I contribute a lot of stuff to my weight gain such as not knowing how to cook and having no real desire to all those years ago (we did lots of fast food until we decided to just go to his parent's house every night and eat there haha), never sticking to a workout plan, having 2 kids (although I'm one of those women that actually lost some weight while pregnant and only put on about 5-10 pounds towards the end of it when the baby was really bulking up), being the sole money provider when he lost his job and couldn't find a new one was stressful and then moving to another country.
But in the end, those are all just excuses. I was overweight when I met him and it's only gotten worse since then. But this is MY year to make a difference and make sure that not only myself but my entire family eats healthier and gets into better shape. I've become somewhat of a gym addict and go 5-7 days a week, even if it's just for 30 minutes. I make sure to get in some sort of activity beyond just walking up and down a hill to take my daughter to school. I wish to eventually get to a lower weight and be in better shape than when he and I even met. I can do it. I WILL do it.0 -
I am going with the answer of it depends on the couple.
Our first year of marriage we enjoyed waaaaaay too much. I was pregnant and he was happy to eat when I ate and though we both gained a ridiculous amount of weight we enjoyed every minute of it.
4 kids and many years later we are both very fit. He does not work out but he does ride his bike to work, I make healthier meals and we all eat a little less.
We saw some pictures, saw how big we were and we fixed it. We have no intention of returning to the "don't care" attitude but we don't snub away from taking out a pizza together in the middle of the night either. Now its only once every 3-5 months instead of every week.
I don't blame marriage for our weight gain, I blame the pure fun we have together doing things that include food or beverages. :drinker:0 -
IT's worse when a couple has kids..They are ALOT of work, not saying its bad just stating a fact.. You have to make time to exercise!! I get up at 330am to workout so I can spend my evenings with my family
Do you? Because I truly believe a family can be together while exercising.
Let's put it this way, and this is where I agree with those who have made the following statement about americans being lazy. Eliminating countries where there isn't such a variety of strollers and parents have to carry their babies all the time, here in America "family time" is more like dinner or being at home, instead of going to the park for a walk, planning field trips on the weekends, doing active fun stuff with the kids, riding bicycles, rollerblading, playing games outside, etc. All of these and more are considered ways of exercising, but instead sitting in a couch or recliner and watch tv is in most cases the easiest way and most unhealthy one.
In the movie Grown Ups they make reference to how the kid wouldn't enjoy playing outside because they don't even know how fun is it due to video games.
Everyone has different situations in their lives and I'm not saying that this applies to everybody, but the truth is that for as long as no one recognizes that they use excuses to not exercise, which has nothing to do with going to a gym and at least portion the amount of food they eat, obesity will always be a problem and it won't go away. If there wouldn't be time, probably this website would be empty and no one would be motivating each other looking for ways to lose weight.0 -
:happy: I'm not sure about the marriage part. But me and my boyfriend have been getting in better shape. We go to the gym like every day! Maybe because there is a possible future wedding? I don't know0
-
I'm guessing you don't have small children. They walk really slow. They ride bikes slow. The play with my weights in unsafe manners (or ride them like a horse). It's really better to work out when they aren't around AND to be active with them.0
-
I'm guessing you don't have small children. They walk really slow. They ride bikes slow. The play with my weights in unsafe manners (or ride them like a horse). It's really better to work out when they aren't around AND to be active with them.
Actually I don't have kids yet, but aren't this great physical activities to do with kids? Going to the park for a walk, planning field trips on the weekends, doing active fun stuff with the kids, riding bicycles, rollerblading, playing games outside, etc.
Now, if you're going to have them ride bicycle or have them walk all the time, of course it defeats the purpose. But how about any of these:
All I'm saying is, if it wasn't possible, everybody with kids would be obese, and I know and have seen a lot of parents with more than one kid keeping a normal active life and staying in shape.0 -
Hahaha, taking walks or bike rides with small kids is family time, but it is definitely not serious exercise for the adults. Small children stop all the time to look at things, to smell a flower, to pick up leaves... it's charming but it can be frustrating if you are trying to get a workout! And whenever I try to do an aerobics video, they want to 'do it with me' which usually involves getting in the way, tripping over each other, climbing on things, sometimes hanging on me... it's a lot of work, but anything but a 'workout' for me! That is why I have to get up at 5 am to go to the gym before they wake up (my husband is home with them) and get back in time to get them ready for school and start our day.0
-
I'm guessing you don't have small children. They walk really slow. They ride bikes slow. The play with my weights in unsafe manners (or ride them like a horse). It's really better to work out when they aren't around AND to be active with them.
Actually I don't have kids yet, but aren't this great physical activities to do with kids? Going to the park for a walk, planning field trips on the weekends, doing active fun stuff with the kids, riding bicycles, rollerblading, playing games outside, etc.
Now, if you're going to have them ride bicycle or have them walk all the time, of course it defeats the purpose. But how about any of these:
All I'm saying is, if it wasn't possible, everybody with kids would be obese, and I know and have seen a lot of parents with more than one kid keeping a normal active life and staying in shape.
These strollers are a great idea for when your kids are babies. But once they get a little older and want to walk, or ride bikes, you will find out how well this works! It's one of those things that you'll understand when it happens to you.
0 -
That is my nightmare! Ever since I met my current boyfriend I have been trying to improve my body to make sure I am sexy to him always. He got me a ring for Christmas and now im working even harder xD0
-
That is my nightmare! Ever since I met my current boyfriend I have been trying to improve my body to make sure I am sexy to him always. He got me a ring for Christmas and now im working even harder xD
LMAO YOU CAN DO IT!!!0 -
These strollers are a great idea for when your kids are babies. But once they get a little older and want to walk, or ride bikes, you will find out how well this works! It's one of those things that you'll understand when it happens to you.
lol I guess I'll have to wait and find out if I ever have the blessing of becoming a dad.0 -
Yes, in a way it is. Most are thinner when they get married, have kids and get what I call "comfortable" and no need to impress the spouse no more. I hear people saying "dont you want to look hot for your man" My husband still thinks I am hot and he is overweight himself, should he "still look hot" for me as well??? But, my 32 year old husband had a heartattack and it is more about getting him and I healthy for each other and the kids.0
-
I think it's true too.. both my hubby and i gained weight (me way more than him) - you get comfortable - but we're both working hard and getting it off -0
-
Hmm good question but I have to say yes for me sadly I think thst is true (not that I'm actually married!) but whenever I am in a relationship I always put on about a stone/14lb's. When I'm single I feel like I have to make more of my appearance so I lose weight and I tone up.
When I get back to being comfortable in a relatonship againt the weight slowly creeps on.................0 -
i dont think its fair or particularly nice to say that married people stop caring or trying.
i put on weight with my husband, for a number of reasons
1) he can eat about 4000 cals a day and STILL not gain weight, its taken me some time to accept that "unfair" part of my life
2) i felt more comfortable in my own skin and desired therefore not neurotic and essentially borderline ED0 -
If I take myself and my daughter as examples, it seems to be true. As long as we were in bad marriages, we stayed slim. As soon as we entered good marriages, we became content and gained weight. Of course, adversity causes some people to overeat, so I don't recommend entering a bad marriage to control weight.
The biggest advantage of having kids around, from the time the boys started school, was never having seconds at dinner time. The boys ate everything that wasn't already on my plate. :ohwell: I highly recommend having active, athletic boys as a means of calorie control. We did a lot of hiking, and they ran with me some, too, until I couldn't keep up with them. My girl--not so much activity or appetite.
Getting married doesn't mean you have to gain weight, but, in any situation, you have to remain active and be mindful of what you're eating! God bless you!0 -
i dont think its fair or particularly nice to say that married people stop caring or trying.
i put on weight with my husband, for a number of reasons
1) he can eat about 4000 cals a day and STILL not gain weight, its taken me some time to accept that "unfair" part of my life
2) i felt more comfortable in my own skin and desired therefore not neurotic and essentially borderline ED
Hahahaha! SO TRUE!0
This discussion has been closed.
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 393.3K Introduce Yourself
- 43.8K Getting Started
- 260.2K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.9K Food and Nutrition
- 47.4K Recipes
- 232.5K Fitness and Exercise
- 423 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.5K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.5K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 153K Motivation and Support
- 8K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.7K MyFitnessPal Information
- 24 News and Announcements
- 1.1K Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.6K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions