Would I be Rude?

Only bring it if you brought enough for everyone.

I would probably eat 1 piece of chicken and some greens and call it a day and maybe a bite or two or the cobbler for my sweet tooth. That way I would have had something I enjoyed and stuck within my calories range.

I enjoy food but portion control is key....it is like when I bring my kids to McDonalds oncea month for a treat.... am I going to sit there miserable and eat a salad or nothing? No way !!! I would eat a Bacon Cheeseburger and half of a small frie with diet coke.... 455 calories total..... and that way I feel satisfied, didn`t go over my calories and still continue to lose weight.

Choices.... not easy.... but sometimes you got to make due....

Thank your sister for the invite, and suggest you come for the after dinner entertainment/conversation. Eat your meal before you go. This way you are enjoying the company, and she should understand the goal you are working so hard to reach.

Just a thought

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The idea of "everything in moderation" doesn't work for everyone (some people are addicted to food and avoiding triggers is easier than trying to have them in moderation). That being said, you can try to eat a small portion of what is being served, or bring a healthy dish to add to the dinner and fill up on that, or even bring your own dinner as you suggested. Whatever allows you to have an enjoyable experience with your family without unnecessary pressure now or guilt later.

Best wishes
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This is so freaking true. Pizza is mine and I avoid it like the plague because I know for a fact that I can't stop eating it until it's gone.
I say if you are really that worried\upset about eating that food, then don't. Call her up and tell her that you wanna spend time with her and the family and stuff, but you don't wanna upset your diet. Then tell her that you'll be bringing your own dinner to save her having to cook something else for just one person. I've found that telling people in advance that you are gonna bring your own food and putting a positive spin on things instead of being all closed off and depressed can really help.

Go to the class! It is really not a big deal either way though. I do a workout class thursday nights every week and I don't make plans for things that would conflict it. Being able to show some will power and sacrifice actually feels really good, better than the feeling you have after eating fried chicken :bigsmile:

My sister text me today to ask if I wanted to come to dinner with her family tonight. She said they were having "soul food" but I should be able to find something I could eat. Said she planned to eat about 5-5:30.

I called to discuss this with her and she expanded on the soul food definition - it includes fried chicken, greens, homemade macaroni and cheese, homemade baked beans (which has hamburger meat and barbecue sauce added), and a homemade peach cobbler. WTH??? What do you see in that menu that I would ever be able to eat?

The other problem is that I usually go to the body toning class at 5 on Thursday. There is a 6 oclock class that I could make if I eat and run.

So, do I just absolutely decline the invite or do I take my own supper that I was planning to eat anyway and eat and enjoy the company and just leave in time to go to the gym?

I'm of the opinion that sometimes life take precedence over the gym and dietary goals. Go, enjoy the food and company. Get to the gym tomorrow. Being healthy is great. But what is the point of being healthy if you have to forego all of life's pleasures for the rest of your life?

Moderation is key.

I agree with this ^^^ person. Life is short. Will you look back and say "Damn! I shouldn't have had that meal!", or will you be glad you enjoyed a delicious meal wtih people you love? Don't overload the plate. Eat a moderate portion of what you want. You are probably totally on plan the rest of the time-- the occasional high-cal meal likely will have little or no impact. Enjoy it and your family! Lucky you having people invite you for dinner.

I disagree with most of the replies. I wouldn't eat something that doesn't fit into my plan just because that's what somebody else wants to serve.

I do agree that taking your own food would be rude. I'd either skip it or eat on my own before (or after) I went. You can enjoy their company without eating their food.

Eat the greens, and the chicken with the skin peeled off. Even if the greens were cooked with fat, not enough is going to stay on them to cause a major calorie hit. And greens are extremely nutritious.

And it's perfectly fine to take small samples of the rest. Just don't go overboard.

is that true for stirfrying veggies in oil?

I think less so--- Greens are usually boiled with some bacon or fatback, then drained so a lot of the fat is removed with the water. Veggie stir fry-- I'd guess more oil is retained, but you can minimize it by waiting until the pan is good and hot before frying so the veggs don't soak up the oil so much. You can minimize it even more by patting the oil off with a paper towel (my husband does that to pizzas).

I see my parents almost every day and never less than every other day. I usually see my sister at least 2-3 times a week and we talk every day. I have just started being really serious about my weight loss and health and am afraid that as one person commented above that these would be trigger foods that would derail me once again. It also would not be as big a problem if I had had a little more notice and had planned my day accordingly. I definitely have not deprived myself of anything I wanted since I have started this journey, but I have made the appropriate choices for my other meals when I was going to splurge a little bit.

As far as the class, these 2 are the last ones until Monday. I can still walk on the treadmill and do cardio work.

Can you go to your 5 o'clock class and then go hang out. Maybe just have some cobbler? Eat the dinner you had planned. I don't know if that's possible, but if you see your sister often and you too are close I see no reason why you shouldn't be able to refuse or eat what you want without offending her.

I'm surprised by what some of the people here say about bringing your own food being rude honestly, after all, if close family can't understand and support your attempt at change who can? You should be able to do what you need to do with those close to you.