Husband isn't supportive

tell him to get onboard or someone else will ........

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Really? Please I love my husband but if he wants to get mad or resentful because I am not making exactly what he wants for dinners there are other issues that are more important to deal with. I am his wife not the hired help.
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In no way am I trying to stir the pot or create enemies, but I had said that surely there were meals to be made that both husband and wife could enjoy together. A mentality like that contributes to rising divorce rates.
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I am not trying to either.... but my point is if what you cook for dinner results in divorce then there were BIGGER issues to begin with. I don't do everything just to make my husband of almost 13 years happy. My health and our kids happiness and health are important too. Just like I am not going to tell him what he can and can't eat. I don't expect him to tell me what I can't make for dinner.

I have the same issue. I gained weight from some health issues (I know that sounds weird, but was thyroid) and my husband used food to help him through. He did not want to put his worry on top of mine and bottled it up. Now that I am healthy and making a move to get more so, he has put on 90lbs since we were married 13 years ago. His cholesterol is through the roof (no exaggeration 319), and he is on blood pressure medications, but he still believes the doctor tells everyone to exercise and watch their diet! I am a nurse and I just can't make him see the risk and move in the right direction.
My plan has been to get in shape, lose weight and hope he thinks he has to do the same to keep the family happy. Unfortunately, my husband does much of the cooking at my house because of my strange work hours, and my boys are falling into the same routine as him. I am currently making/ or adding healthy things for me and making them try it, it is slow progress but it is working. They are starting to ask for some of the healthier foods. I will not give up, but admit it is terribly frustrating!

If you can persuade him to do so, sit down and have a heart to heart with him on the issue. Just tell him that you have a sincere desire to be a happier healthier you, and, out of love and concern for his well-being you would really love to see him join you in that journey. However, make sure he realizes that you are not trying to force him to do anything he doesn't want to or isn't ready to do, but it's an open invitation. He is welcome to join you at any point on your path to a healthy lifestyle, should he choose to do so. Furthermore, make him aware that, even though he isn't willing to join you at this point, you would still like to have his support and encouragement for your efforts. Perhaps, offer him the proposition that, if he promises to give you more support and encouragement, you'll promise not to pressure him on the issue anymore. You can't force someone to do something they don't want to do. You can only be responsible for your own decisions in this area. Hopefully, he'll come around in time. Hope this helps. :flowerforyou:

I also don't agree with the "This is what I'm making for dinner- eat it or make your own" as wives, we are called to love our husbands. We should want to take care of them. Men will get resentful of that kind of attitude. Surely there are meals you can make that will please both of you.

Really? Please I love my husband but if he wants to get mad or resentful because I am not making exactly what he wants for dinners there are other issues that are more important to deal with. I am his wife not the hired help.

In no way am I trying to stir the pot or create enemies, but I had said that surely there were meals to be made that both husband and wife could enjoy together. A mentality like that contributes to rising divorce rates.

A mentality like yours results in submissiveness. No thanks.

If I come off as submissive, than I take that as a compliment! I suppose it helps having a husband on board with also wanting to lose weight. Dinner time is easy. We choose meats and vegetables for dinner through out the week and fruits and coffee in the evening time together. Weekend is usually fair game. Whatever he makes, I will eat. If he knows I do not like something (seafood) he will usually cater to that as well. And he will do the same. If I cook something, he may eat it, but he also may make something to go with it. It's done out of love though, not spite. It's never a "well this is what I'm making and if you don't like it, make your own"

I feel we are drifting from the topic of sharing a meal together as husbands and wives and the opinions of how women act in relationships.

Let him do his thing and you do yours. Also, he may be concerned or jealous that if you "look" better maybe you won't want him anymore. Alleve him of those fears if that is the case!

I also don't agree with the "This is what I'm making for dinner- eat it or make your own" as wives, we are called to love our husbands. We should want to take care of them. Men will get resentful of that kind of attitude. Surely there are meals you can make that will please both of you.

Really? Please I love my husband but if he wants to get mad or resentful because I am not making exactly what he wants for dinners there are other issues that are more important to deal with. I am his wife not the hired help.

In no way am I trying to stir the pot or create enemies, but I had said that surely there were meals to be made that both husband and wife could enjoy together. A mentality like that contributes to rising divorce rates.

A mentality like yours results in submissiveness. No thanks.

If I come off as submissive, than I take that as a compliment! I suppose it helps having a husband on board with also wanting to lose weight. Dinner time is easy. We choose meats and vegetables for dinner through out the week and fruits and coffee in the evening time together. Weekend is usually fair game. Whatever he makes, I will eat. If he knows I do not like something (seafood) he will usually cater to that as well. And he will do the same. If I cook something, he may eat it, but he also may make something to go with it. It's done out of love though, not spite. It's never a "well this is what I'm making and if you don't like it, make your own"

I feel we are drifting from the topic of sharing a meal together as husbands and wives and the opinions of how women act in relationships.

You're right that we're drifting a bit, but it is relevant. I don't view it as dangerous to your marriage to tell him to eat what you're making or make his own. I'm not a believer, but If you are of the belief that the husband is the family leader, what happens if he is unwilling to lead? I would see it as him being unwilling to lead the family towards health. We have responsibilities to our children to guide them and help them choose well for themselves. If your husband won't lead in doing this, who will? I would not submit to his needs and take my family down with him. Just because he does it and is the so called "leader of the family" doesn't make it the correct decision. Is that really what he thinks God would want for him and his family? What is wrong with discussion and communication? By being submissive to his dietary preferences, you are not communicating and THAT is what makes marriages unstable. You are also not teaching your children which is fundamental. You are teaching your children gluttony and selfishness.

Personally, allowing my husband to be the leader- if he chose to make meals that were over the line that would compromise my health and our sons health, I would more than likely "allow him a second portion since he enjoys it" and make something additional for myself and son. It would never be a battle. I would like to think the "teaching your children gluttony and selfishness" was more of a direct saying and not directed at me since I mentioned my husband and I are on the same diet!

One word. Bobbit.

He will change in his own time. No man likes to be told what to you, so continue on with your healthy eating, let him know he doesn't have to participate unless he chooses so, and maybe one day he will start following your footstep. Best of luck.

My husband is almost the same way, the difference being he says he wants to change his eating habits but turns around and has a deep fried chicken sandwich and fries. I have had boyfirend's in the past that were the same way, my only advice to you, is stay true to what you want and need and might eventually come around when he sees you feeling much better about yourself and life!