decided I dont want to die

Good for you! You can do it! Make lots of friends, and we will encourage you. Take one step at a time, just one day, one step, one bite at a time. Breathe. You are strong. You can do hard things.

It's gonna be a long journey, but one you can definitely do!!!! It takes about 28 days to develop a habit, so keep going and develop a habit of healthy eating and living. Also just walk as much as you can, any movement is great for you!! There are many people with you on this journey!

I came home from the Gym and do like I always do, sit down and get on MFP (yep even before Facebook these days) I had a message in my inbox from someone I am not even friends with (b4 tonight) and she had link your post to me and ask that I please read it... I have to say your post hit me in the face like a ton of bricks and brought up alot of emotions. You see in 2002 I also was driving truck (alittle different than you in the fact I delivered Budweiser as well as drove truck) in Feb of 2002 I was making a 6 a.m. delivery and had taken a bad fall on the ice and tore my knee up. I spent the next 7 months having surgery and rehab and it never got to the point I could return to work, so my employer had to let me go.. This happened after we had just spent the previous 2 years burying My wife's mother and father, my mother and father after caring for them (ran 3 households and worked two full time jobs) from 1995 to 2001. At that time I was already in severe depression and then when I got injured it was the final blow. It took the last thing away from me that made me feel like I was worth something. At that time I was pushing 320 lbs. and from there it went downhill.. By 2009 I was home bound for over 2 years, could barely walk from room to room and was eating myself to death. In May of 2009 everything came to a head, it was literally 3 days of deciding whether to get busy living or get busy dying. My wife came home on that 3rd day and I broke down and begged her to help me. She had been waiting the better half of a decade to hear me say those words. So she took a week off work and we made appt. to therapist, to doctors, etc.... I had to get a new family doctor cause I had not had one in over 10 years. When I stepped on the scale I was completely crushed. My denial was now reality and I had to face the fact I weighed 560 lbs. But you see even though I didn't know how I was going to get there I had resided to the fact I was done saying NO and it was time to start saying YES..... When you hit Rock Bottom (which is what I needed) you really have nowhere to go but up... I had all the classic super morbidly obese problems... Fatty liver, severe vitamin D deficits, swollen legs, skin rashes, and Full Blown Type 2 Diabetes..... I was lucky to not have any heart issues yet so that was one positive I had to hang my hat on... My Endo Dr. was quite blunt and told me if I didn't change now he said I would be dead within 5 years... If I get the weight off everything would reverse even the diabetes... I couldn't support my own weight (I had/have Osteoarthritis both knee's, torn meniscus both knee's and torn ACL in my left knee) so he wrote me a script for Aquatic therapy. I had severe social phobia issues but knew I had to find a way to deal with it so with alot of determination and will I went to the Wellness center through our local hospital and began the water therapy. The very first workout I couldn't even do 10 minutes, I was exhausted but I kept going back and over the course of a year and half I managed to lose 175 lbs. in the pool therapy. I was fitted for Don Joy Knee braces and put on 3 different pain meds and given Knee injections. Then they started pushing me out of the pool and on to land base exercise. For the next 15 months I split time between the pool and working out on land based equipment (elliptical, treadmill, bikes, rowing machines, free weights, etc) and continued to lose. This past wednesday I hit a major milestone on my journey and broke the 300 lb. loss barrier!! I currently weigh 259 lbs. (next goal is 250 lbs.)

I worked with a dietician from the beginning... Everyone that said you have to treat this as I Lifestyle and not a diet is 100% correct!! You have to commit to this journey for the rest of your life. Once you can wrap your head around that it makes it alot more manageable. And break things down to what you feel you can handle for me it was and still is day by day... I do everything I possibly can to be as successful today that I can and I know when my head hits the pillow I have done everything I could have and then I go to sleep and get up and do it all over again... Baby steps but always putting one foot in front of the other... I could not go the everything in moderation route. You don't get our size saying "Oh I can keep some Chocolate chip cookies in the cupboard with the doritoes and just have a couple every now and then... LOL So in came the 32 gallon trash can and out with all the junk food and in with all the healthy choices.. Chicken, Fish, veggies, fruits, Nuts, Whole grains, etc.... Now guys our size have plenty of fat store so running large calorie deficit in the beginning phases is perfectly fine. My dietician figured I was consuming well over 7000 calories a day over that final 2 years.... So she set me up in the beginning on 240 grams of carbs a day ( 60 grams at my main meals and 20 grams at my snacks 3 time a day) calories was set around 2500 ish, she wasn't to concerned in the beginning as long as I was around that number... I was allowed 2 what I call cheat meals a week (normally 1 on wednesday night and 1 on friday night) my home was/is a now junk food free zone (if it isn't here I won't miss it and can't go in the cupboards and sabatoge myself) so my cheat meals are eating out. I can have what I want only rule is nothing comes home with me and has to be consumed there.... This always gives me a meal to look forward too that was from my old lifestyle... My cheat meals normally involve Pizza and/or Wings... I since have narrowed that cheat meal to just friday nights... If we eat out a second meal nowadays we have a healthy meal out... Salads or 500 calorie menu dinners at our favorite eating place.... I am facing knee replacements when my weightloss is complete... All that we have and are doing is just buying me time to get through this weightloss and skin surgery ( got to have around 25-30 lbs. removed per skin surgeon) I am going in on the 29th to get my Left knee cleaned out one last time to hopefully buy me just 6-8 months to finish this weightloss.... In the beginning I had no one sitting across the table from me (my therapist ran 4:30 minute mile marathons and weighed 165 lbs. soaking wet) that had been through anything like what i had to go through so it took me along time to warm up to my therapist or anyone else for that matter that could possible know what i was gong through... So you can look at this as being Fate or God definitely working in his mysterious ways that he put me in your path at the time when you need someone to be that voice of support and encouragement and to let you know that even though this is going to be The Hardest thing you will have ever done, it is so very much possible and no matter how bad things look now if you truly commit to the process you can achieve anything you want too... God meant for us to meet here tonight I truly believe that and if you want to add me I would be more than happy to stand in your corner and give you a shoulder to lean on.... God bless and remember Baby steps, don't rush this no matter how much you want too... This journey is your new life and it is going to take time to get you wear you need to go but fully believe you Will get there and it is possible.... Just look at my Ticker that number doesn't lie..... Sorry so long............. Hope to hear from you.... God Bless.....................

You are most certainly in the RIGHT PLACE, and more importantly, the right MINDSET. It's going to be a long, difficult journey. But you can do ANYTHING if you are committed. Gonna add you as a friend!

You can do this! The hardest part is making the decision to change and you've done that. There are so many helpful and encouraging people on this site. I can't wait to hear about your progress!

Just wake up everyday and tell yourself its worth the change. Everyday won't be perfect but you can do it. Good luck. You've already taken the first step.

you can do it brother !

Ill do my best to help

check out my daily food diary it might help

GOOD LUCK

I'm glad you found us and i'm glad you're here. You can do this. We will be here with you.

:bigsmile: Your in the right place. Congratulations to your first step of many on your journey to getting healthy. :bigsmile:

You've made the hardest step in the right direction, you've decided to do something, good for you! I also made this same choice because I didn't want to die. I look forward to seeing your progress!

Sometimes, we find ourselves at a point in life and we wonder how we got there.

Sometimes, we know exactly how we got there, and saw it coming, but didn't do anything about it.

But getting to the point where you are ready to do something about it is what is important NOW. Forget about the past, and move forward. There is so much to look forward to - to gain, and to lose.

You can do this. Take it easy, take it slow, take it one day at a time. Find your groove.

On MFP, you are not alone.

Congrats on the beginning of a new journey to a healthier you.

I'm so glad you want to get healthy! Remember to always focus on the end result when things aren't going well or you have a bad day! You CAN do it! Don't give up! :flowerforyou:

Congratulations in taking that first step. That was probably a very difficult thing to do. It will be a long journey but just take it one day at a time. After reading my blog send me a friends request if you are interested in being friends.

We are all here for you. One step at a time is right. Everybody fails, but what matters is picking yourself back up and fighting another day. You can and will persevere!

Good for you LH! You can do it.