anyone else think this is weird.....

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135

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  • sunkisses
    sunkisses Posts: 2,365 Member
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    Whether it's weird or not, it's overstepping serious boundaries. It is not your responsibility to provide a place to cook and things to cook with.

    All these people on here who are wondering why this is weird and wanting to give him credit for trying.... Does anyone give women credit for doing what they're supposed to be doing as a parent? How do you feel about a mother showing up at her ex husband's house whenever it's her turn to have her kids and using his stove and pans? Then telling him to go shopping or something while she's there? It's not respectful and is clearly not within the boundaries of the OP's relationship with her ex.
  • MaggiePuccini
    MaggiePuccini Posts: 248 Member
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    I think it's funny how, with absolutely no reasoning, the guys has turned from wanting to cook a meal for his kids, albeit, in his ex's kitchen, to trashing the place, using all her food and leaving all the dirty dishes for her to clean...

    seriously. chill it, people. take a breath.

    Exactly.

    It's the OP's house. She's not entirely comfortable or she wouldn't have posted in the first place. It is a blurring of the boundaries. He also suggested she leave her own house! I was advising the OP from the position of having a EX who would happily walk all over me given the chance and I DID mention this, so it's not as if I were even presenting my post as being 100% objective! HOWEVER in my defence, although the OP didn't say her x husband was messy, she didn't say he was tidy eIther. so gimme a break. I've walked this path.
  • ironanimal
    ironanimal Posts: 5,922 Member
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    Women. Stop overthinking.

    Dude wants to cook for his kids. Needs kitchen to do so. Bathroom doesn't work. Suggests OP could go out because of it being awkward, not some weird *kitten* ulterior motive. Dude is dude thinking dude thoughts. Dude's simple.
  • luv_lea
    luv_lea Posts: 1,094 Member
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    I think it honestly depends on the relationship of the two people. For me...I would have no problem with that happening. I get along with my ex ok (despite the HUGE list of reasons why we 'shouldn't'...we do.) Now I wouldn't leave him alone in my house for one second, but if there were understandable reasons...yes, I'd let him cook in my house, and have dinner with our son. (making rules of course) But that's me, and my relationship with my ex. I've always wanted to do what's best for our son, and have had to put differences aside, even if it meant awkward times. (in which there have been a LOT of!)

    Now if YOU don't feel comfortable...then that's your right. Try to do do what makes you comfortable to do with your ex, while also trying to think about what's best for the kids.

    That's my 2 cents.
  • dragonsheart84
    dragonsheart84 Posts: 75
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    If he is supposed to take the kids to his mom's when he visits them, it sounds like it is supposed to be somewhat supervised. I don't think it is weird really but I won't leave him in my house alone.
  • 06gwensmamma
    06gwensmamma Posts: 17
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    I don't mind him coming over... I have no issues with that. he has done this in the past... just find it weird him cooking for the kids in my kitchen...

    I have suggested he pick up a bucket of chicken for him and the boys... he seemed ok with that.
    I was gonna suggest that he get some takeout or something along those lines. If you all have no problem being around each other it isn't weird. I find the cooking part a little strange. Does he plan to do all the dishes too lol? Good luck, I hope it goes smoothly :flowerforyou:
  • kit_katty
    kit_katty Posts: 994 Member
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    Come visit the kids? Cool
    Cook for them in her kitchen? Still cool, albeit unusual
    Asking her to leave so he can use her home and facilities? Not cool.

    This! All in all, it's whatever OP is comfortable with. It's good he's there for the kids but still odd...
  • kit_katty
    kit_katty Posts: 994 Member
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    Edit: Oops, double post.
  • robyne7485
    robyne7485 Posts: 7 Member
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    I agree that it shouldn't be that weird to have someone in your house that you must have cared for at one point to cook dinner for ya'lls children. But then on the other hand we don't know ya'lls history either. I would just give it a shot and see how it goes and then make a decision from there on what to do in the future. I do give the guy props though for trying to spend time with the kids. My father left when I was an infant because finding a job was just too much for him too handle. Super slack. But good luck and I hope everything works out well and your kids have a nice dinner with their dad.
  • STrooper
    STrooper Posts: 659 Member
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    There are all sorts of relationships with ex's. If you think in terms of strict separation between ex's, yes, it could be a little weird.

    But my ex and I lived about a mile apart and had joint custody of our son. She had a key to my house after she left and I had my son 4 days of each week until i moved away 6 years later. As he got older i saw him on weekends and some weeknights often being in his neighborhood rather than mine.

    In a society where men are often given the shaft when it comes to their children at least he's trying something to maintain a routine despite other complications.
  • robyne7485
    robyne7485 Posts: 7 Member
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    ''like" Lol!
  • robyne7485
    robyne7485 Posts: 7 Member
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    Women. Stop overthinking.

    Dude wants to cook for his kids. Needs kitchen to do so. Bathroom doesn't work. Suggests OP could go out because of it being awkward, not some weird *kitten* ulterior motive. Dude is dude thinking dude thoughts. Dude's simple.

    "LIKE" LOL!
  • penelepurr
    penelepurr Posts: 204 Member
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    Women. Stop overthinking.

    Dude wants to cook for his kids. Needs kitchen to do so. Bathroom doesn't work. Suggests OP could go out because of it being awkward, not some weird *kitten* ulterior motive. Dude is dude thinking dude thoughts. Dude's simple.

    "LIKE" LOL!

    yeah that is good :)
  • LuckyLeprechaun
    LuckyLeprechaun Posts: 6,296 Member
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    snip..... Suggests OP could go out BECAUSE OF IT BEING AWKWARD, not some weird *kitten* ulterior motive. ...Snip


    so we agree....it's awkward.
  • ironanimal
    ironanimal Posts: 5,922 Member
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    snip..... Suggests OP could go out BECAUSE OF IT BEING AWKWARD, not some weird *kitten* ulterior motive. ...Snip
    so we agree....it's awkward.
    Give the guy a break - he's making the best he can of a difficult situation.
  • maidentl
    maidentl Posts: 3,203 Member
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    Personally I dont think this shoud have been addressed on MFP at all. As a close friend who knows the guy, not a bunch of strangers on MFP.

    Wait, are you saying you know the guy?
  • angied80
    angied80 Posts: 749
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    Women. Stop overthinking.

    Dude wants to cook for his kids. Needs kitchen to do so. Bathroom doesn't work. Suggests OP could go out because of it being awkward, not some weird *kitten* ulterior motive. Dude is dude thinking dude thoughts. Dude's simple.

    ^ thhhhhiiiisssssssssssss
  • angied80
    angied80 Posts: 749
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    Personally I dont think this shoud have been addressed on MFP at all. As a close friend who knows the guy, not a bunch of strangers on MFP.

    Wait, are you saying you know the guy?


    Where did I state that? I said personally as in my opinion. Is that what you are reffering to?... I should have edited the AS, it was meant to say ASK. My apologies.
  • angied80
    angied80 Posts: 749
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    If he is supposed to take the kids to his mom's when he visits them, it sounds like it is supposed to be somewhat supervised. I don't think it is weird really but I won't leave him in my house alone.

    It doesnt state... he is SUPPOSED to take them to his parents.. It says he usually does. Which COULD imply that he lives a ways away and its easier to take them there. Not being rude, just pointing out.

    There basically was not enough information given. I think if the OP wants better opinions from people then more information should have been given. There are too many opinionated people on here (including myself). Or like I stated previously, ask someone who knows the guy or the situation.
  • felice03
    felice03 Posts: 2,732 Member
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    snip..... Suggests OP could go out BECAUSE OF IT BEING AWKWARD, not some weird *kitten* ulterior motive. ...Snip
    so we agree....it's awkward.
    Give the guy a break - he's making the best he can of a difficult situation.


    Thank u for rational thinking...

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