anyone else think this is weird.....
Replies
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Whether it's weird or not, it's overstepping serious boundaries. It is not your responsibility to provide a place to cook and things to cook with.
All these people on here who are wondering why this is weird and wanting to give him credit for trying.... Does anyone give women credit for doing what they're supposed to be doing as a parent? How do you feel about a mother showing up at her ex husband's house whenever it's her turn to have her kids and using his stove and pans? Then telling him to go shopping or something while she's there? It's not respectful and is clearly not within the boundaries of the OP's relationship with her ex.0 -
I think it's funny how, with absolutely no reasoning, the guys has turned from wanting to cook a meal for his kids, albeit, in his ex's kitchen, to trashing the place, using all her food and leaving all the dirty dishes for her to clean...
seriously. chill it, people. take a breath.
Exactly.
It's the OP's house. She's not entirely comfortable or she wouldn't have posted in the first place. It is a blurring of the boundaries. He also suggested she leave her own house! I was advising the OP from the position of having a EX who would happily walk all over me given the chance and I DID mention this, so it's not as if I were even presenting my post as being 100% objective! HOWEVER in my defence, although the OP didn't say her x husband was messy, she didn't say he was tidy eIther. so gimme a break. I've walked this path.0 -
Women. Stop overthinking.
Dude wants to cook for his kids. Needs kitchen to do so. Bathroom doesn't work. Suggests OP could go out because of it being awkward, not some weird *kitten* ulterior motive. Dude is dude thinking dude thoughts. Dude's simple.0 -
I think it honestly depends on the relationship of the two people. For me...I would have no problem with that happening. I get along with my ex ok (despite the HUGE list of reasons why we 'shouldn't'...we do.) Now I wouldn't leave him alone in my house for one second, but if there were understandable reasons...yes, I'd let him cook in my house, and have dinner with our son. (making rules of course) But that's me, and my relationship with my ex. I've always wanted to do what's best for our son, and have had to put differences aside, even if it meant awkward times. (in which there have been a LOT of!)
Now if YOU don't feel comfortable...then that's your right. Try to do do what makes you comfortable to do with your ex, while also trying to think about what's best for the kids.
That's my 2 cents.0 -
If he is supposed to take the kids to his mom's when he visits them, it sounds like it is supposed to be somewhat supervised. I don't think it is weird really but I won't leave him in my house alone.0
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I don't mind him coming over... I have no issues with that. he has done this in the past... just find it weird him cooking for the kids in my kitchen...
I have suggested he pick up a bucket of chicken for him and the boys... he seemed ok with that.0 -
Come visit the kids? Cool
Cook for them in her kitchen? Still cool, albeit unusual
Asking her to leave so he can use her home and facilities? Not cool.
This! All in all, it's whatever OP is comfortable with. It's good he's there for the kids but still odd...0 -
Edit: Oops, double post.0
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I agree that it shouldn't be that weird to have someone in your house that you must have cared for at one point to cook dinner for ya'lls children. But then on the other hand we don't know ya'lls history either. I would just give it a shot and see how it goes and then make a decision from there on what to do in the future. I do give the guy props though for trying to spend time with the kids. My father left when I was an infant because finding a job was just too much for him too handle. Super slack. But good luck and I hope everything works out well and your kids have a nice dinner with their dad.0
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There are all sorts of relationships with ex's. If you think in terms of strict separation between ex's, yes, it could be a little weird.
But my ex and I lived about a mile apart and had joint custody of our son. She had a key to my house after she left and I had my son 4 days of each week until i moved away 6 years later. As he got older i saw him on weekends and some weeknights often being in his neighborhood rather than mine.
In a society where men are often given the shaft when it comes to their children at least he's trying something to maintain a routine despite other complications.0 -
''like" Lol!0
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Women. Stop overthinking.
Dude wants to cook for his kids. Needs kitchen to do so. Bathroom doesn't work. Suggests OP could go out because of it being awkward, not some weird *kitten* ulterior motive. Dude is dude thinking dude thoughts. Dude's simple.
"LIKE" LOL!0 -
Women. Stop overthinking.
Dude wants to cook for his kids. Needs kitchen to do so. Bathroom doesn't work. Suggests OP could go out because of it being awkward, not some weird *kitten* ulterior motive. Dude is dude thinking dude thoughts. Dude's simple.
"LIKE" LOL!
yeah that is good0 -
snip..... Suggests OP could go out BECAUSE OF IT BEING AWKWARD, not some weird *kitten* ulterior motive. ...Snip
so we agree....it's awkward.0 -
snip..... Suggests OP could go out BECAUSE OF IT BEING AWKWARD, not some weird *kitten* ulterior motive. ...Snip0
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Personally I dont think this shoud have been addressed on MFP at all. As a close friend who knows the guy, not a bunch of strangers on MFP.
Wait, are you saying you know the guy?0 -
Women. Stop overthinking.
Dude wants to cook for his kids. Needs kitchen to do so. Bathroom doesn't work. Suggests OP could go out because of it being awkward, not some weird *kitten* ulterior motive. Dude is dude thinking dude thoughts. Dude's simple.
^ thhhhhiiiisssssssssssss0 -
Personally I dont think this shoud have been addressed on MFP at all. As a close friend who knows the guy, not a bunch of strangers on MFP.
Wait, are you saying you know the guy?
Where did I state that? I said personally as in my opinion. Is that what you are reffering to?... I should have edited the AS, it was meant to say ASK. My apologies.0 -
If he is supposed to take the kids to his mom's when he visits them, it sounds like it is supposed to be somewhat supervised. I don't think it is weird really but I won't leave him in my house alone.
It doesnt state... he is SUPPOSED to take them to his parents.. It says he usually does. Which COULD imply that he lives a ways away and its easier to take them there. Not being rude, just pointing out.
There basically was not enough information given. I think if the OP wants better opinions from people then more information should have been given. There are too many opinionated people on here (including myself). Or like I stated previously, ask someone who knows the guy or the situation.0 -
snip..... Suggests OP could go out BECAUSE OF IT BEING AWKWARD, not some weird *kitten* ulterior motive. ...Snip
Thank u for rational thinking...0
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