How to deal with racists?

dumb_blondes_rock
dumb_blondes_rock Posts: 1,568 Member
in Chit-Chat
I live in a redneck town where if you are brown you are automatically mexican, and if you are "yellow" you are autimatically chinese. It's full of extreme conservatives who feel like since they are white and christian, they can say anything about anyone they feel is beneath them, because you know, jesus hated jews and blacks too....or whatever reasoning they fabricate in their minds. I heard from someone that if you don't speak up, it's basically like you being on their side, and that silence can be just as dangerous as the saying themselves, so how would you approach a situation like that.

Mind you, I date black guys, and almost half my family is mexican or puerto rican, and I have a gay brother and uncle...it really does hurt me to my core when i hear people say derrogatory things about someones race or sexual preference, and sometimes it even happens from my co-workers. Both my jobs are in customer service, so that being said i NEVER say ANYTHING because i don't want the person to freak out and get me in trouble at work. So how could someone tactfully say something to get them to stop speaking such negative things around me. I have tried in the past, gotten my point across, but left it with a lot of negativity. Example: Some guy told me in a few choice words about stereotypes of a race, so i told him since hes white he must play his banjo in his trailor white the cousin he married is in the kitchen making possum suprise..so yeah, i need a WAY more tactful way of handeling the situation.
«13456

Replies

  • AmberMagdalena
    AmberMagdalena Posts: 461 Member
    Yup. This could get ugly.
  • dumb_blondes_rock
    dumb_blondes_rock Posts: 1,568 Member
    I'm not trying for it to be ugly, at all.....In fact i wish the opposite....How can you tell someone that something offends you, when technically the "customer is always right"
  • _binary_jester_
    _binary_jester_ Posts: 2,132 Member
    I'm not trying for it to be ugly, at all.....In fact i wish the opposite....How can you tell someone that something offends you, when technically the "customer is always right"
    We started a bet on the over/under for posts before the lock.
  • WhittRak
    WhittRak Posts: 567 Member
    I usually handle those types of people all the same. I tell me to STFU and spit that hatred some where else.
  • cekeys
    cekeys Posts: 397 Member
    Being a white, Christian conservative, I hate racists.

    Jesus was a Jewish guy from the backwoods part of Israel who hung out with prostitutes, tax collectors & sinners and was more concerned about their soul than the color of their skin.
  • k8blujay2
    k8blujay2 Posts: 4,941 Member
    There is no right way to deal with ignorance.
  • paigemarie93
    paigemarie93 Posts: 778 Member
    People who cover their racism with religion are fakes, nowhere in the bible does it say that it's an abomination to be black/ different race/skin colour.
    Racism is pathetic, we are all human, we're all the same colour inside.
  • SeaChele77
    SeaChele77 Posts: 1,103 Member
    Just tell the person "I do not appreciate the negativaty and stereotyping. And if you feel the need to express these thoughts you can do it somewhere else with someone else." People are people regardless of color, ethnicity, race, sexual orientaion, etc. "One Human Race!"

    Let it alone and go about your day.
  • alorick
    alorick Posts: 194
    Living in South Carolina, those ignorant types are plentiful, unfortunately. As much as I'd like to tell you to keep your mouth shut and ignore them, I can't. I don't keep my mouth shut and I've gone off on many, many people in my life about it. You can't reason with people like that. It's like being in a car full of drunks and nobody will pull over and let you drive.
  • AmberMagdalena
    AmberMagdalena Posts: 461 Member
    Racism is something I feel very passionate about too. I also live in a small town where the majority are close minded and racist. Most people who are racists are ignorant, they don't know any better and they don't want to learn. I wish all the time that things were different and that racism wasn't such a heavy part of our society. At the end of the day, love, all you can do is be you and know that you know the real truth. All I can say is continue to educate yourself about different cultures, always keep an open mind, and treat others as you would want to be treated. Sometimes just a smile and warm compliment is enough to get someone through their day, and who knows....maybe they'll pay it forward :flowerforyou:
  • beatgirl98
    beatgirl98 Posts: 17
    Well yeah, I agree it's a tough one. Stay calm, try to use a bit of humour, try to help people see things a bit differently, maybe something like "oh really? Well, I know tons of (whatever) people and I don't know any who do that". You don't have to fight the whole world but if we can be part of a positive change for people's attitudes that'd be great.
  • paigemarie93
    paigemarie93 Posts: 778 Member
    Example: Some guy told me in a few choice words about stereotypes of a race, so i told him since hes white he must play his banjo in his trailor white the cousin he married is in the kitchen making possum suprise..so yeah, i need a WAY more tactful way of handeling the situation.

    That's not the greatest reply to tackle racism when it's derogatory in itself.
  • ladybellringerm
    ladybellringerm Posts: 4
    And being a white, Christian liberal, I have no time for that kind of insufferable behavior, blondes_rock. Cekeys is right. Jesus was a Jewish guy from a backwash village who definitely hung out with the "wrong" people. I'd say the best way to respond to that kind of ignorant diatribe is to simply say something like, "I guess we'll have to agree to disagree there", and then walk away. Let your life and your actions speak for you. They speak loudest anyway.
  • Tiffa0909
    Tiffa0909 Posts: 191 Member
    Ignore and smile , knowing that you are bigger than them.

    I have heard so many racist and ignorant things about my ethnicity , but I just smile and shake my head. I feel bad for them because of their ignorance , I don't mind helping clear someones mind if they have a question about my country or my background.

    As for racist people , I don't care and I will ignore them the same way I will ignore the dog poop on my shoe. You won't change their mind so don't waste your breath , racism is not logical.
  • ♥PrincessSaraGarcia♥
    ♥PrincessSaraGarcia♥ Posts: 33 Member
    Unfortunately I don't think there is anything you can do. Yes, you can express your opinion in a tactful manner, however, it may cost your job. And, although you may say something tactful odds are the other person won't be so tactful and it can turn into an argument that you really shouldn't be having if you are in customer service. If you feel so strongly about the issue it may be time for a career change. I am half black and half white and have dealt with ignorance all my life. My son is black, white and Mexican...I pray I can protect him as much as I can, but allow him to see the realty of how people feel so he isn't surprised when I'm not around to protect him. Never ending battle, but one worth fighting.
  • sheryllamb72
    sheryllamb72 Posts: 163 Member
    Being a white, Christian conservative, I hate racists.

    Jesus was a Jewish guy from the backwoods part of Israel who hung out with prostitutes, tax collectors & sinners and was more concerned about their soul than the color of their skin.

    ^^^^^^^^^To right^^^^^^^^
  • ♥PrincessSaraGarcia♥
    ♥PrincessSaraGarcia♥ Posts: 33 Member
    Example: Some guy told me in a few choice words about stereotypes of a race, so i told him since hes white he must play his banjo in his trailor white the cousin he married is in the kitchen making possum suprise..so yeah, i need a WAY more tactful way of handeling the situation.

    That's not the greatest reply to tackle racism when it's derogatory in itself.

    Agreed!
  • Jenny_Bee
    Jenny_Bee Posts: 102
    Being a white, Christian conservative, I hate racists.

    Jesus was a Jewish guy from the backwoods part of Israel who hung out with prostitutes, tax collectors & sinners and was more concerned about their soul than the color of their skin.


    truth! That's why I love him, and why I have the same love for others that He did. There is no place/time/just cause for racism. Ever.
  • dumb_blondes_rock
    dumb_blondes_rock Posts: 1,568 Member
    Being a white, Christian conservative, I hate racists.

    Jesus was a Jewish guy from the backwoods part of Israel who hung out with prostitutes, tax collectors & sinners and was more concerned about their soul than the color of their skin.

    EXACTLY!!! Please come over here and educate these people!!! No where have i ever read that its manditory since you are a conservative that it means you have to not like everyone who isn't.....likewise for liberals...everyone is entitled to their own thoughts. but keep them inside....especially in the workplace or in inappropraite places/.
  • BarbWhite09
    BarbWhite09 Posts: 1,128 Member
    I grew up in the Midwest in a redneck town of 1,200 people...99.8% of people there were the same way. Anyone who wasn't white, straight, liked country music & rodeos, were considered outcasts & treated like ****. My godmothers were lesbians & my best friend was latina...It went over well [sarcasm there!] Once I graduated I got the hell out of that town...Moving from there was the best decision I've ever made! Highly suggest it.
  • Koketa0510
    Koketa0510 Posts: 80
    I totally get what you mean. I try my best to ignore it when it comes to me but when my family is involved it's hard to keep calm and talk nicely.
    For the most part I run into caucasian people who are the ones being racist. I just try to calmly say something like " ohh did you know what Jesus and NOT white, mostly dark brown maybe black.. read the bible its in there somewhere" ..
    I try not to stoop to their lever I just say " that's your opinion not an actual fact" ... but If I can stay away from it I will....
    Im interested too as to how other people respond.
  • prettylyzard
    prettylyzard Posts: 98 Member
    I am a teacher and my favorite way to deal with it is to explain it....especially if people know and like you...my line is "That really offends me, my (insert friend or relative here) is (insert race or sexuality). Example: That offends me, my sister is a lesbian. I got kids, parents and faculty at my last school definitely checking their comments and thinking about things differently. I always hated it when the kids would use terms as put downs...such as "That shirt is gay", again, I would respond with ex: My brother is gay so I don't appreciate your use of that word. Works every time and I never offended anyone.
  • LaurieEReid
    LaurieEReid Posts: 273
    I think the most mild that you can be is to say, "I don't appreciate that kind of joke / comment / ignorant remark." But it still takes a lot of guts to say it. Unfortuantely a lot more than it takes to say the ignorant remark apparently.
  • sheryllamb72
    sheryllamb72 Posts: 163 Member
    Example: Some guy told me in a few choice words about stereotypes of a race, so i told him since hes white he must play his banjo in his trailor white the cousin he married is in the kitchen making possum suprise..so yeah, i need a WAY more tactful way of handeling the situation.

    That's not the greatest reply to tackle racism when it's derogatory in itself.

    I think she was being sarcastic!!!
  • rochey1098
    rochey1098 Posts: 285
    When people are openly racist they're being confrontational. They want to upset someone. If you make that someone yourself then you're playing right into their hands. If they weren't being racist they'd be at a womens institute being sexist or on here moaning about fat people.

    You can't punish these people, they're already damaged.
  • SnowWhite824
    SnowWhite824 Posts: 210
    I think you should say something along the lines of "I don't appreciate that way of thinking - I have minorities in my family, so when you speak in a derogatory way about them, it means you think the same of me. If thats the way you feel, I feel bad for you going through life so closed minded, if you can't see that everyone is equal, and there is no way to enlighten you, that's fine, but please keep your thoughts to yourself."
  • BondBomb
    BondBomb Posts: 1,781 Member
    I had to leave the south because I seriously couldn't stand it. Being a minority to some degree you have to ignore it. If I let every racist thing ever said to me or in front of me get to me - I would be a crazy person.
  • cekeys
    cekeys Posts: 397 Member
    On a more practical side,

    IF someone is really getting to you. Say, "I'm sorry for that sir or ma'am. Let me get my manager and see if they can help you with that." Then let them deal with it. It's what they get paid for.
  • luvnthenewme
    luvnthenewme Posts: 121 Member
    I hate to say this, but white people do not hold a monopoly on racism.....nor do rednecks, Christians, college professors, prostitutes, Native Americans, communists, Chinese, McDonald's employees, Nascar drivers, lesbians, cookie monsters, or anyone else!!! Racism comes in all shapes and sizes.... and it affects us ALL.
  • Melroxsox
    Melroxsox Posts: 1,040 Member
    Ignore the bad people in your life. If it gets to be too much to handle, file harrasment claims at your police department. In general, Just stay away from negative people....racist or not. Also do not judge everyone by their outward appearance.
This discussion has been closed.

Categories