Sorry, I don't cook. Deal with it.

muffintopminx · February 2012

This is more of a vent because I'm SO over having the same argument with my husband. I don't cook. I've never cooked. We've been together for 17 years and I have never cooked family meals. I have done it on the rare occasion when I have a wild hair or for a special occasion. But generally we've fended for ourselves in this area because we eat so differently. He's a simple meat and potatoes guy who can eat whatever he wants - in fact he's trying to eat high calorie to GAIN. I eat low calorie stuff that I can just throw together quickly because I have a full time job TOO and I'm just as tired when I get home.

Yet, he thinks it's MY JOB to cook us dinner every night. WHAT??!?!?! Where am I? 1955? When did I mislead him into thinking I was "the little home maker"? NEVER! We don't have kids so I really don't see the point in family dinner since we chat all day long everyday and spend 90% of our free time together.

I hate cooking. Sorry, to offend any fabulous cookers. But I was not given the gift. I don't make fantastic creations. I make a giant mess and then eat a mediocre high calorie dinner with my dumbass husband who doesn't even like what I've made 99% of the time and always critics it!

ps. I like a lot of different flavors and spices (indian, greek, thai, vietnamese...etc) and really spicy food. And he likes mashed potatoes and chicken fried steak.

I don't understand him and obviously he doesn't understand me on this topic. Am I being a bad wife? Or is he living in the dark ages and being kind of a male chauvinist pig?

I love him to death but he's being a turd about this! Right?
Please say I'm right.
Please.
I really hate cooking.

dumb_blondes_rock · February 2012

He knew this before he married you, so therefore he has to deal with the fact that he married a non-cooker....i believe if the women is a stay at home mom its kind of her job to make dinner, but if you are both working, then why is it YOUR duty....he can cook too

sleepytexan · February 2012

yes, he is being a turd.

Rae6503 · February 2012

I don't like to cook either. I generally do it because it's the easiest way to feed kids, but I make very simple things. The husband knows this. If he wants something complicated he has to cook it. And he knows I hate it so when he's trying to be good he tries to cook a couple of times a week.

But yes, he's a turd.

squared16 · February 2012

Yeah he's being a turd. Maybe you can cook together and try to make stuff you'd both?
You're definitely not being a bad wife.

Sidesteal · February 2012

I think he is nuttier than a squirrel turd.

PinkEarthMama · February 2012

I REALLY really REALLY want to be on your side.

But you BOTH need to cook. 3 days a week for you and 3 days a week for him.

AZKristi · February 2012

men can cook, too.

Sugarchef · February 2012

You don't like to cook + he knows this = turd

helloiloveukitty · February 2012

But you BOTH need to cook. 3 days a week for you and 3 days a week for him.

this

lizsmith1976 · February 2012

Yes I agree with you that he is a turd, but I do cook, love to cook, do it as often as I can, and enjoy the feeling of providing healthy home-cooked meals to my friends, other family, my daughter, and yes my boyfriend. That doesn't make me a throwback to 1955...

IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym · February 2012

yea, he's being a turd, if he A) KNEW you did not/do not cook going into the marriage,

doesn't like what you make anyway and C) you BOTH work! Seems he needs to get over it...

WhittRak · February 2012

You both need to cook. Period. How can you just say "No. I will not" Not very nice if you ask me.

amuhlou · February 2012

Did you know he expected to be cooked for when you married HIM? It kind of goes both ways.

He's a turd for thinking that a woman's place is in the kitchen, and for thinking that marrying you would change you into his chef.

My mom cooks for my dad pretty much every night, but my dad would NEVER nag her about it if she took the day off. I'm pretty sure he knows how good he has it.

njmp · February 2012

Yep, definitely being a turd, so to speak. I recently started cooking a lot, and all of sudden my bf seems to be expecting me to do it...hmmmm.

bestdaysahead · February 2012

This is more of a vent because I'm SO over having the same argument with my husband. I don't cook. I've never cooked. We've been together for 17 years and I have never cooked family meals. I have done it on the rare occasion when I have a wild hair or for a special occasion. But generally we've fended for ourselves in this area because we eat so differently. He's a simple meat and potatoes guy who can eat whatever he wants - in fact he's trying to eat high calorie to GAIN. I eat low calorie stuff that I can just throw together quickly because I have a full time job TOO and I'm just as tired when I get home.

Yet, he thinks it's MY JOB to cook us dinner every night. WHAT??!?!?! Where am I? 1955? When did I mislead him into thinking I was "the little home maker"? NEVER! We don't have kids so I really don't see the point in family dinner since we chat all day long everyday and spend 90% of our free time together.

I hate cooking. Sorry, to offend any fabulous cookers. But I was not given the gift. I don't make fantastic creations. I make a giant mess and then eat a mediocre high calorie dinner with my dumbass husband who doesn't even like what I've made 99% of the time and always critics it!

ps. I like a lot of different flavors and spices (indian, greek, thai, vietnamese...etc) and really spicy food. And he likes mashed potatoes and chicken fried steak.

I don't understand him and obviously he doesn't understand me on this topic. Am I being a bad wife? Or is he living in the dark ages and being kind of a male chauvinist pig?

I love him to death but he's being a turd about this! Right?
Please say I'm right.
Please.
I really hate cooking.

Ditto here! You are so right and remind my husband every day that he didn't marry me for my cooking!!!

pastryari · February 2012

I REALLY really REALLY want to be on your side.

But you BOTH need to cook. 3 days a week for you and 3 days a week for him.

This.

IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym · February 2012

Yes I agree with you that he is a turd, but I do cook, love to cook, do it as often as I can, and enjoy the feeling of providing healthy home-cooked meals to my friends, other family, my daughter, and yes my boyfriend. That doesn't make me a throwback to 1955...

No, its not that you do cook, its that he EXPECTS her to cook and still critiques her food that made it a throwback to 1955.

chaoticxinsane · February 2012

Definitely a turd. This is old news, and him getting his panties in a bunch over it is just stupid.

Personally, I'm all but banned from cooking for my boyfriend since I'm so awful at it!

scs143 · February 2012

17 years together constitutes more than adequate notice. He is just looking for something to complain about.

salsera_barbie · February 2012

I hate cooking. Sorry, to offend any fabulous cookers. But I was not given the gift. I don't make fantastic creations. I make a giant mess and then eat a mediocre high calorie dinner with my dumbass husband who doesn't even like what I've made 99% of the time and always critics it!

I really hate cooking.

LMAO!!! You can tell you hate to cook when you called people that cook, cookers. I think they are normally called cooks.

pookeyism · February 2012

I can't cook. I am horrible at it. It is like all the 'good cook energy' was used up before I was born. But my Hubby loves for me to help. he will "give up" some of the quality of a dish, just to have me there, helping. It's the time spent. maybe that is what you Hubby is try to do, too.

hsmithway · February 2012

I love to cook, so it's one of those jobs that's generally my responsibility to take care of. But it's because I enjoy it, I'm good at it, and I'm a stay-at-home mom, so I have the time. Not because I'm a woman. Not once have my female reproductive organs ever helped me cook a meal.

I learned how to cook from my dad, because my mother doesn't cook. One of my best female friends hates to cook, and her husband does most of the cooking for their family. My uncle discovered the joys of cooking interesting ethnic food in his retirement, so now he cooks for my aunt.

So yeah, there's no reason your husband can't cook his own meals.

muffintopminx · February 2012

I REALLY really REALLY want to be on your side.

But you BOTH need to cook. 3 days a week for you and 3 days a week for him.

We both DO cook... for ourselves. He doesn't like it though. And I prefer it that way.

Sweet_Potato · February 2012

I REALLY really REALLY want to be on your side.

But you BOTH need to cook. 3 days a week for you and 3 days a week for him.

Says who? Especially if they have such different diets? I'm the sole cook in our house because it's something I truly enjoy, but there's never any pressure put on me to cook something my partner will like every day. If I don't feel like cooking, or I want to make a big pot of mushroom stew, she is perfectly fine fending for herself. She detests cooking and I don't have a problem with that.

velazqsa · February 2012

I have been married for almost as long as you. I know how to cook. My wife knows how to cook and when neither of us feels like cooking, we order out or we go out. No big deal. So yes. In today's "day-and-age" there is no reason to expect that from just on side of the marriage/partnership/relationship.

Anomalia · February 2012

Team work.

MB_Positif · February 2012

I don't know what to say, but "Awwww." I am super thankful that my husband and I both like to eat the same kinds of foods! I happen to love to cook, but I definitely got very tired of it when we were both working full time and I felt like I was doing most of the cooking even though we were both gone the same number of hours. That said, maybe you could consider cooking some things for yourself one day a week where you bang out a few recipes and then just freeze them in individual portions. And maybe you could do the same for him? Not sure what else to say! So sorry you are having to struggle with this!

songbyrdsweet · February 2012

I really dislike cooking as well, but I dislike my boyfriend's cooking even more so I just deal and cook for us. :laugh: It's not that bad if you look up simple recipes. OR get a crock pot! Those cook for you.

LolaGotThin · February 2012

You both are right but you both are wrong. I never cooked either. My husband never got huffy about cooking all the time, but like yours, he likes lots of meat and potatoes and can eat pretty much whatever he pleases. But he is more encouraging to me about cooking than getting mad about it. So I try to cook sometimes and he tries to eat it (usually, I actually do a decent job). I am experimenting a lot more lately because of my new eating habits and he gets a little pissy when I don't want to eat what he's cooking because it's too high in fat.
I think you are right and he is wrong in that he shouldn't expect a homecooked meal from you every night.
I think he is right and you are wrong in that you should probably TRY to cook maybe one or two nights a week.

Marriage is a partnership. You guys need to be equal and share those types of "duties". Ultimately, do you love him enough to attempt to try to change yourself for the better? Not change completely, that's not what I mean. But I really try hard to better myself for my husband and he does the same for me.

hamncheese67 · February 2012

If you two have been together for 17 years, why is it an issue now or why is it ongoing? Obviously, your position has been set. Yeah, he's being a turd.

Sorry, I don't cook. Deal with it.

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