Am I a b*tch?

24

Replies

  • ElizabethRoad
    ElizabethRoad Posts: 5,138 Member
    It's OK to feel that way. Saying something would be rude, but thinking it doesn't hurt anyone.

    Could it be that this is more about her personality than the action itself? If one of your close friends did the same thing, would you be as bothered? (I'm not judging. I can think of someone who annoys me in just this sort of way.)
  • IronmanPanda
    IronmanPanda Posts: 2,083 Member
    Yeah, you're a *****. She is too, but that doesn't excuse you from being petty.
    -wtk

    I lol'ed
  • SmashliT
    SmashliT Posts: 49 Member
    From what I can see from your ticker, you only need to lose 40 lbs.

    This person needed to lose over 100 lbs. Maybe it was medically necessary. Maybe she had health issues that needed to be addressed quickly. Whatever the reason, she chose the surgery and it was apparently successful. Why would you begrudge her that? There is a LOT of work involved both before and after lap band surgery. It's not like they go in, have a rubber band tied around their stomach and suddenly they are skinny.

    I wouldn't say you were a b*tch, but I would say you are acting petty.

    Pretty much this. You sound petty and jealous to me.
  • DieVixen
    DieVixen Posts: 790 Member
    yes because its so "easy" to go through the surgery,yeah i kinda think it makes you a ***** let her have her momment damn
  • w2bab
    w2bab Posts: 353 Member
    I also have a friend who lost well over 100 lbs by having surgery. It wasn't a free ride. He kept us up to date on FB, and it was weeks of restricted diet, including nothing but liquids for a time. Then it was months of learning how to eat properly and working out regularly. It took him almost a year to lose the weight, which were followed by several painful surgeries to remove the excess skin. I think different things work for different people, and anyone who elects to have surgery isn't necessarily taking the easy way out. They also have the same maintenance issues as the rest of us once the weight comes off. We shouldn't judge, in my opinion.
  • kiki1335
    kiki1335 Posts: 3
    Losing weight is hard no matter how you do it. I know a few people who have had the surgery and it is not pretty! No more enjoying food because nothing fits and many foods make you sick. So no matter how you do it, it is work. My suggestion: Do not judge her...Use her as motivation instead. Having to lose 100 pounds is unbelievable and choosing surgery is a way to get to the same goal, good health and confident lifestyle. Doctors don't let just anyone get this surgery, there was a reason.
  • reaolliemama
    reaolliemama Posts: 483 Member
    I'm a b*tch and I would have replied..."I've been watching what I eat, exercising and I've lost 28 pounds. How did you lose 100?" That way people who didn't know would wonder too! But as I said, I'm a b*tch!
  • onmyway31
    onmyway31 Posts: 66
    I'm sorry but if you were content with yourself, you wouldn't feel the need to nitpick about how another person loses their weight. Yeah she had lap band and so what?? She didn't add it to the caption because of people like you! Why does she have to share her personal business with the world? I know many who have had weight loss surgery and it isn't an easy road. You can gain all the weight back if you don't exercise and eat healthy to maintain it.

    She is happy, if anyone else had such a tremendous weight loss they would be happy too.
  • BeeElMarvin
    BeeElMarvin Posts: 2,086 Member
    Why does it matter to you how she lost weight? Everybody has different ways of going about it. Many people on this site have had weight loss surgery - I chose not to, you chose not to - that doesn't make it invalid. So, in short, yes, you are being a b!tch.
  • matenogg
    matenogg Posts: 1
    Yes you are a b*tch.

    But I agree with you. I think if she had to resort to getting a lap band then she should keep her fcking mouth shut and not brag about it.

    But still, at least she went through the surgery and took a big step towards getting healthy. Being a 100 lbs plus overweight is a terrible thing to be.

    So, in the interest of more people being healthy no matter what, in future you should keep your fcking mouth shut too.

    the end
  • LaurasClimb
    LaurasClimb Posts: 211 Member
    Well...might have been a little petty but I'm right there with ya! LOL.
    I know a few people who have had various weightloss surgeries. Some have kept the weight off but most have come back bigger than before. A few come to mind...
    One girl had it done to lose weight for her wedding. She lost it but now is bigger than when she started.
    I know a lady who had surgery and got down to a size 4. She gained back to a 6 because "she looked sick at size 4." She maintained for a while but she's gone back up to an 8 or 10 now. I see the pattern...
    But the one who makes me petty.... Posted on Facebook last night "81 pounds gone forever." My immediate thought was ,"yeah, that worked so well for your mother."
    Bottom line is that you have to be committed to a healthy lifestyle if you want to lose weight and have a strong body. It's a lifelong committment, not just a quick fix.
    Keep working at it! You're doing a great job.
  • danicamper
    danicamper Posts: 44
    A b*tch would've pointed out that you've been 'not putting 100lbs on'
    hahahahahahahah this!
  • IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym
    IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym Posts: 5,573 Member
    if you had announced it, I would say, yes, you are, but since yo ujust *thought* it, no, not really.
  • mseraf713
    mseraf713 Posts: 29 Member
    Awesome job with your weight loss!! And no, you're not a *****- your feelings are completely normal and understandable.

    If this is happening on a social network site and If her posts continue to get on her your nerves, by no means do you have to unfriend her, but you can unsubscribe to her news feeds so they don't show up on when you log-in.
  • reaolliemama
    reaolliemama Posts: 483 Member
    I'm a b*tch and I would have replied..."I've been watching what I eat, exercising and I've lost 28 pounds. How did you lose 100?" That way people who didn't know would wonder too! But as I said, I'm a b*tch!

    Oh and I have two cousins who had it and I know they worked hard to lose both before and after the surgery...but I love them and they don't annoy me like this gal seems to annoy you!
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
    Life's too short to worry about other people's crap in comparison to yours
  • MrsCon40
    MrsCon40 Posts: 2,351 Member
    Yes, you are.

    What difference does it make to you? I smell bitterness.

    (and before you get pi$$ed at any responses, you asked)
  • jonisteenhoek
    jonisteenhoek Posts: 92 Member
    My sister in law had the lap band surgery. She has lost a lot of weight, but she works her tail off. She eats healthy and works out. The lap band isn't the same as the gastric by-pass. If you lose weight with the lap band, you really have to work at it.
    She may have been fishing for a compliment, but maybe she really needs it.....
  • mixmastermolly
    mixmastermolly Posts: 272
    Ignore it, what other people do shouldn't matter to you. Almost any resentment is actually a reflection of our own personal feelings.
  • april_beth
    april_beth Posts: 616 Member
    i suggest you get the *kitten* over it and move on...jealousy isnt going to make your weight loss happen any faster.
  • CardiacNP
    CardiacNP Posts: 554 Member
    i am also not a big fan of weight loss surgeries in most situations. Don;t let someone else thought or comments worry you. Make your choice. Lose and be healthy your way. Love yourself
  • bigredhearts
    bigredhearts Posts: 428
    whether or not you are b*tch about the issue, is not my place to say. i dont know where your feelings come from, and if they come from a negative place, those are your feelings to deal with. however, if shes lost over 100 lbs after the surgery, chances are she NEEDED the surgery. maybe her health actually needed a quicker fix then diet and exercise would allow her. Next time you find yourself angry at her, or anyone else who you dont think is losing weight the way you think they should, think about your feelings and try to figure out why exactly it is, that you cant accept the fact they chose a different, but still safe, approach to weight loss.
  • bwmiller1
    bwmiller1 Posts: 98
    you are responsible for your own happiness. don't sweat the small stuff.
  • SwannySez
    SwannySez Posts: 5,860 Member
    i suggest you get the *kitten* over it and move on...jealousy isnt going to make your weight loss happen any faster.

    Or this, lol.
  • danigirl1011
    danigirl1011 Posts: 314 Member
    Hmmm...not sure so much a b*tch but i wouldn't say you're far off. A hundred pounds is a hundred pounds regardless. It rocks and she clearly kicks @$$. Are you maybe jealous that she lost 100 pounds? Even if she is a boastful person and you find her annoying, you said you guys are not close anymore, so all you have to do is ignore her posts if you want. But why not be a positive person and instead of thinking negative things about someone when they do something good, just congratulate them instead? The good energy will come back to you, so go that way with it instead
  • maidentl
    maidentl Posts: 3,203 Member
    There is a LOT of work involved both before and after lap band surgery. It's not like they go in, have a rubber band tied around their stomach and suddenly they are skinny.

    Honestly, that's what I thought happened. What do they have to do before and after? (Not being sarcastic, I'm curious)

    This part is what makes you in the wrong. It's one thing to know about something and make your judgment of it. It's entirely another to be willfully ignorant and judgmental.
  • kennethmgreen
    kennethmgreen Posts: 1,759 Member
    I think you being annoyed is you being annoyed - and perfectly OK. I think you saying something negative to your friend might be being a b*tch.

    I think either response is understandable. But only one is being a b*tch.

    I haven't decided yet what posting about it on the forum means.
  • whitetiger011680
    whitetiger011680 Posts: 218 Member
    You should cut her some slack about having surgery since you apparantly are not informed on the subject. I have a lapband and I can tell you first hand it does not make the weight magically fall off. All it does is help you control your portions. You still have to eat right and exercise to lose weight. If I were to eat fast food or junk food all the time I would still gain weight even with the band. The band is a tool to help a persone lose weight just like the exercise machines we use. It does nothing all on its own, it's up to the user to use it properly to make it work.
    Now as for the by-pass surgery, a person can lose weight with it by doing nothing because the body can not absorb all the nutrients consumed because of the re-routing of the intestines. This can last forever in some people but for others the afftect eventually slows down and they regain weight unless they eat right and exercise.
    So for this person you know to have lost a hundred pounds you should be congratulating her for her hard work not belittling her. Like I said in my profile...Lapband surgery is not cheating! You have no idea how hard it really is.
  • Miss_Chievous_wechange
    Miss_Chievous_wechange Posts: 1,230 Member
    If you have to ask if you're a b!tch, that means you probably are a b!tch!
  • cbtownsend
    cbtownsend Posts: 7
    Sort of.... you just need to do you and let her do her. You continue to do what you feel is right and if she starts gaining her weight back let her know that you are willing to help her learn a healthier lifestyle.
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