Anyone else feel weird being married...

I think it's about your partner's comfort level. If it makes her feel uncomfortable and you are respecting her feelings, then it's an admirable reason to continue as you're doing

"Great job... you look incredible!" is a lot different from, "Great job, I want to take your panties off with my teeth."

careful, you just talked to a member of the opposite sex

I'm interested as well, why would it be ok to comment on a member of the same sex if it's not sexual and not the opposite in the same way?

"Great job... you look incredible!" is a lot different from, "Great job, I want to take your panties off with my teeth."

But frankly, even if you did say that, it's still only through a computer screen. You aren't going to DO it.

"Great job... you look incredible!" is a lot different from, "Great job, I want to take your panties off with my teeth."

Crap, I gotta start apologizing for some of my posts then.

That was funny

"Great job... you look incredible!" is a lot different from, "Great job, I want to take your panties off with my teeth."

LOL! I've been married 18 years and I also feel a little weird commenting on guys' posts. Now it doesn't bother me as much, but I guess I'm just old-fashioned (or I've been watching too much Downton Abbey, LOL!)

I see nothing wrong with saying "Congratulations :flowerforyou: "

Now if you added or :smooched: I'd be pissed



:laugh: Seriously? Ask your wife how she feels. Communication is #1 in my book. :drinker:

Yep! I agree! And I have been married 25 years. Respect for your spouse is number one. Include her! Call her over to the computer and let her view the pics with you and then tell her you are going to comment. She will let you know if she is okay with it or not.

Yeah, that's a bit weird. Why make a distinction? Do you think you can't speak to members of the opposite sex. If you want to give someone support, why does it matter if they are male or female?

Most of my friends are male, so I can't really imagine feeling that it was a problem talking to men.

I think a lot of it has to do with my wife being a therapist. Unfortunately she doesn't deal with people talking about how their mom didn't love them or anything that simple. It's a lot of horrible scenarios and a lot of husband's cheating on their wives. So that may be why I'm overly sensitive to it.

I'm a therapist and although I'm divorced now (nothing to do with infidelity) I was married for 21 years. I've always had male friends and my husband was fine with that. From what you've said the reason you are uncomfortable with it is because you think she wouldn't like it. That's a good reason not to do it. I suspect she would feel this way no matter what her job is. Some people are confident enough in themselves or in a relationship to trust the other person not to cross the boundary and allow friendship to develop into emotional intimacy. Others feel it's best to avoid any scenario that could lead to those kind of choices.

edited to add:
I notice that a number of married guys on here say that the compromise they've reached is that they don't accept FR from women at their wife's request. Perhaps you could discuss it with her and suggest this, so you feel more comfortable engaging in conversations on the forums and using the site generally.

and commenting on a member of the opposite sex's success story posts?

I admit, I love checking out the success story posts; they're so inspiring. There are some people who've had some amazing, life-altering changes. I'll always comment on a guy's post because, I'm a guy and we need to encourage one another, but if it's a girl I won't. Being married, I wouldn't want to give my wife any doubts. Am I being overly cautious or respectful?

I think you are being very respectful. I share your preocupation about making my husband uncomfortable about contacting other men online. It also depends on the age for me... if they are men that remind me of my father then I don't feel weird. Is that weird? But if someone has done an impressive job I just cheer for their success but don't add them to my friends list or anything further. I still think it is nice you think about your wife this way and protect her from doubts and stuff.

At the risk of sounding like a.... yeaaaaah, um, yeah, you're being too cautious. Every now and then I stumble across a (usually female) profile on here that says something like "I'm married, so I don't accept friend requests from men." I showed it to my husband he was baffled.

I mean, this is a weight loss site, NOT a dating site. I'm here to support anyone who wants to better themselves by fixing their broken bodies, and I'm here to do the same myself. Commenting on the picture of a guy who lost 20 lbs. by saying "good job!" is NOT going to put "ideas" in my hubby's mind. Maybe commenting, "Nice work! I'm married, but do you want to have sex anyway?!" would. We're pretty secure in our relationship. We don't worry about silly things like telling someone "nice work!" if they lost weight. If my husband were "jealous" of the men I'm "friends" with on my weight loss support site, I'd tell him to get a life (after showing him my CLEAN page).

I don't really see sex on this site at all. The world is made of men and women. That's just how it is. I see motivation, success and help here and nothing more. I don't see any penises or vagina pictures plastered anywhere, so why does it matter?

I'm in the same boat. I read the success stories to stay motivated. Not sure how to respond. Kind of feel like a stalker, though, if I don't say something. Like you, I gravitate toward the men's posts.

I would say respectful