My Rant on the Over/Under!

Every day is not perfect.
Would it kill you to tell someone that is having a crappy day, that their day wasn't so bad.
One size does not fit all.
Is it better to be under on the potato chip diet or over on the fresh chicken diet?
Do I have to scrutinize every person's food diary?
Are my 2 cents(or yours) always necessary?

I don't know how many times I've seen a diary where the person has eaten like crap all day (candy, cakes, fast food, etc.) Pure crap! But they manage to come in under their calorie count. So the comments from their so called friends are "WTG!", "Good Job!" , etc.

STOP! It wasn't a good day. THEY ATE LIKE CRAP! Call them on it! Sure they kept their calories below 1300. But their only claim to vegetables was their taco for lunch! You aren't helping them by rewarding the behavior. Get past the blurb on the screen and actually look into their diary. It takes time, but they're supposed to be your friend, remember?

And for the bad eater, those so called friends are rewarding poor choices. Drop them like you would an abusive SO. Find friends that will hold you accountable, give you suggestions, and show compassion when you have a bad day or two. Lose the ones that only see the word "under" and think that's the goal. And if you're not sharing your diary with your friends, you're missing one of the best parts of MFP.

Thank you for your attention.

I got your back on this one! I like gettin suggestions. that's why I joined. And made mine public. I like having people help me on this journey. and I take the constructive criticism and use it to my advantage. I will ALWAYS look at a diary before I comment. Add some of the friends I got. 95% of them all will comment or will inbox you with suggestions. They really look at your diaries. So if you wanna see some real work bein done! Add my friends

I opened my diary to my friends as a form of personal accountability. I am responsible for my own choices. I don't lie about what I eat anymore. If I'm mature enough to make the decision, I'm mature enough to make it public. If I down 2 quarter pounders and 4 apple pies, it's going in.

If you told me I had a crap day, you may be right. But I don't know you and don't really care what you think. My first response would be "who is this random dude who doesn't even know me telling me x, y, and z about what I ate?" I've had friends rightly call me on my sodium and water intake. It was annoying, but they were right. AND they were not like "OMG what crap you ate 8000mg sodium WTH!!!!" - more like "good on your cal goal but sodium is high might want to watch that" - MUCH different tone.

I say all that to say this: I'm just learning the difference between being ASHAMED about my choices, and being RESPONSIBLE FOR my choices. In light of that, I put encouraging notes on most diaries I see open - some days it is not easy to hit the goal. Call me a softie. I don't see much difference in what you posted and being judgmental, and i just don't believe in being judgmental.

I do plenty of yelling at myself, and am finally learning that yelling works maybe 10% of the time. I'm not a "get-in-your-face" kind of person. I get the impression that you are. We're all different.

If I am wanting to give someone advice I'll do it through a private message ... and I would not presume to give unsolicited advice unless I'd built a relationship with that person. There are some friends I've only had for a few days and I would certainly not advise them unless they asked. My best friend of 27 years even knows he needs to step off sometimes when I discuss my calorie intake. No one is my policeman but me. Again, I don't open my diary for the sole purpose of receiving comments - I get that people are free to comment, but that's not why I open my diary. And I'm sure I'm not the only one.

ETA: And I DO open and look at diaries before I comment even if I am only saying "WTG!"

I don't know how many times I've seen a diary where the person has eaten like crap all day (candy, cakes, fast food, etc.) Pure crap! But they manage to come in under their calorie count. So the comments from their so called friends are "WTG!", "Good Job!" , etc.

STOP! It wasn't a good day. THEY ATE LIKE CRAP! Call them on it! Sure they kept their calories below 1300. But their only claim to vegetables was their taco for lunch! You aren't helping them by rewarding the behavior. Get past the blurb on the screen and actually look into their diary. It takes time, but they're supposed to be your friend, remember?

And for the bad eater, those so called friends are rewarding poor choices. Drop them like you would an abusive SO. Find friends that will hold you accountable, give you suggestions, and show compassion when you have a bad day or two. Lose the ones that only see the word "under" and think that's the goal. And if you're not sharing your diary with your friends, you're missing one of the best parts of MFP.

Thank you for your attention.

I got your back on this one! I like gettin suggestions. that's why I joined. And made mine public. I like having people help me on this journey. and I take the constructive criticism and use it to my advantage. I will ALWAYS look at a diary before I comment. Add some of the friends I got. 95% of them all will comment or will inbox you with suggestions. They really look at your diaries. So if you wanna see some real work bein done! Add my friends

I also wanna say that there is a difference between judging and scolding and having no judgement in your heart but simply wanting to help another person b/c maybe they've done the same thing twice in a row so you inbox them and say hey i see this going on I wanna suggest this or see what's going on. oh and that's why I use the note section. no just for myself but for others so they know why I've ate the way I did or why I didnt drink enough water. I guess I was lucky and ran into some good friends on here b/c nobody judges me for doing something wrong they just make heart felt suggestions with no judgement.

Add me if anyone wants. I view diaries, I review them, I'm not perfect on mine either, so I would expect comments back, but I also give comments. Sometimes I will right them on the diary update, but I also might inbox you. I will never write something hurtful. And this is what all of my group of friends do. I don't see why you wouldn't want someone to help you. if you don't want help then don't make it open for people to see but that's a great benefit off this site. people learning off of other people!

My thought: Who cares? If they came under their calorie goal than great! Some people start off with learning portion control then slowly making healthier choices. Who are you to say they don't deserve a wtg?

I didn't eat any vegetables today... GASP

does wine count as a serving of fruit?

I'm totally on the same page. I won't call someone out who I know usually keeps a pretty healthy diary. A bad day here or there is normal and to be expected. If I see one of my friends eating like crap for days in a row, you better believe I'll ask them what the deal is. I'm not going to be a meanie head about it, but I will ask.

I don't normally sugar coat things with my friends in real life and on Facebook, why would I do that here? I'm here to lose weight, be supported, and to SUPPORT people. Support, to me, sometimes means you have to call someone out on their *kitten*. If it means I lose MFP friends, so be it. I actually would like when I have a bad day, even if I'm under my calories, for someone asks why I ate like crap. It means they actually CARE and look at my day instead of assuming I did great because of what some blurb says.

*Edited to add: I don't think I'm self righteous for eating "clean". I just want my MFP friends to succeed. Eating junk all the time will make one crave junk all the time.

You are awesome!! Right there with you!!

I think its more of a problem that it shows it as a good thing being under but that person might have only eaten 500 calories all day. Then people cheering great job for being under is bad. Who cares if they had desert today?

I think its more of a problem that it shows it as a good thing being under but that person might have only eaten 500 calories all day. Then people cheering great job for being under is bad. Who cares if they had desert today?

This one is dead on, as someone who is struggling hard to recover from an Eating disorder, which is why my diary is locked, only my doctor can see it, but I do not look when mine posts, because I don't want the encouragement for my bad behaviors, which really aren't that bad right now by the way, working hard with the Doctors! But posts like this one from the OP sure don't help people like me! But we all have a right to rant.....

To each his own (opinion of course) and I will be the first to admit that I am one of "those" people who can eat "crap" and stay around my calorie range and I am one of those people who have struggled to make changes to help me lose the 80 #s I have gained since I got married and quit smoking...but here is WHY I post EXACTLY the crap I eat....because if I dont keep track of the 1500 calories then I MAY have eaten 3000, I look at what I post and try to figure out how I can reduce the calories or that I am drinking way too many of my calories...I appreciate my friends saying good job....I know I could have done better, but I NEED to have a diet that I can live with...if I ate "clean" all the time after years of putting crap in my body I would be a total B**** and would probably be in jail....Changing your life is HARD and a little white lie encourgement isnt that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things...besides I dont know what the persons day is like...they could be a nurse, policeman, firefighter and countless others who work long shifts and maybe that is all they can grab to eat that day

So while you may call them out on that Bud Light they had...I'm gonna say good job for staying in your calorie range and good job for not drinking the six pack. Please feel free to add me as a friend and call me out anytime you feel the need if it makes YOU feel better because believe me...I am all good ::)