MFP Friends... how do you decide who they will be?

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papa3x
papa3x Posts: 286
in Introduce Yourself
I don't often solicit MFP friends personally, but when I do it is almost always because something they said in a post is something I can relate to. Or maybe it is something I notice in a photo.

Now, I "know" that I have a HORRIBLE looking avatar photo, that by itself probably steers people away from asking me to be friends... I mean, look at it... it is BAD! But I also want it there for now for motivation.... that was me about 40 pounds ago. I never want to see "that" me again.

So, often I wonder, when I get requests from people, why they decided to ask me.... for some unknown reason, I have a fair amount of young ladies who have requested to be friends with me.... maybe I remind them of their grandfather, LOL.... ( OK, I am only 49, but still ).

Many times I get a request, as I am sure you do, to be friends with someone who has given you no clue why they want to be an MFP friend. So far, I have yet to turn anybody down, but I really do appreciate it when I get at least a small note with the request.

So, how do you decide who you will and won't be friends with? Do you actually turn people down?
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Replies

  • Cold_Steel
    Cold_Steel Posts: 897 Member
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    It is no sweat of my back to accept everyone... they do get removed if they treat it like Facebook and go over every menial detail of their miserable lives...
  • whitneyann0
    whitneyann0 Posts: 327 Member
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    I have it written in bold letters on the front of my profile that if you don't send a message with your request that it will be denied. I want friends who are going to support me and that want my support.

    I send out friend requests based on replies I see in the forums. If I see someone with similar goals, or maybe they have reached their goal and I want their tips/support/etc. :bigsmile:
  • srmchargue
    srmchargue Posts: 37 Member
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    For me it's that I have something in common with them. I don't care what the person looks like, if we have a way to connect, then we have a reason to motivate each other and I think that's what MFpals should be about. Currently I've sent several friend requests out to people in my city that are the same sex, age range, and have the same weight loss goal as me. I don't need 100 friends I need a couple of good motivators that get me pumped and that I can in turn help them.
  • Trophyyf
    Trophyyf Posts: 218 Member
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    I see if someone has similar goals and interest. I also like if they have kids like myself. I also like humor and to make light of things and not take things so serious.
  • Ash_76
    Ash_76 Posts: 186 Member
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    its all about support given and recieved,,,,,i couldnt care less about age sex colour or any other aspect that makes me different to anyone else,,,, for that reason i accept everyone
  • HeidiRene
    HeidiRene Posts: 335 Member
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    I accept anyone who asks and then delete (only once or twice maybe) if they start to really get on my nerves. Like excessive, long posts that I can't relate to. I friend people based on humor, politics, similar struggles, similar goals, similar age/weight, proximity to me, intelligence and people that just seem interesting. Sometimes I send a message with the request and sometimes I don't. I love getting messages with requests but the lack of one doesn't make me deny.
  • mmk137
    mmk137 Posts: 833 Member
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    if you don't send me a message when asking for a request, then you wont be accepted.

    have nothing on your profile = no acceptance

    don't track for more than 30 days = you will be deleted.

    why do I have these rules, well if you aren't going to give me basic information then i can't help you and you can't help me. and if you aren't going to log in then really you aren't committed, and i'd rather not have that 'negativity' kwim.

    But other than that, i don't care if where you live, how much you have to loose etc. If I can relate to you in someway you will be accepted as a friend.
  • D446
    D446 Posts: 266 Member
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    I add people who I think have similar SW and GW to me, or people that I find inspirational... I only have femalesas men that have added me aren't very supportive, and the majority of their friends are half naked women which to me says u r just here for a perve....

    I often deny people when they do not leave a MSG with their request. I have a private profile so it's not like they have read my profile and decided that we should be friends. Maybe they have liked one of my posts or something, but I would prefer if they would say that in the request. I have quite a small friends list, i like it that way :)
  • Elizadolots
    Elizadolots Posts: 178
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    I only have a small number of friends, I prefer to keep it that way. I want to be a real support for them and appreciate their support as well. I would usually request if I find someone funny, interesting or if there is something we share in common. Though I would 'clear up' every now and then, deleting those that are not really appropriate anymore, not logging in for a long time etc. Some of them are simply inspiring.
  • beduffbrickie
    beduffbrickie Posts: 642 Member
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    Never turn people down, but if they dont log in, or interact, or offer support, or chat rant about anything not fittness related, over the next month then I delete them. I give them a month. some people are friend collectors, I like to keep up and offer support to all of them, so I try and keep it under 100.
  • KatyE213
    KatyE213 Posts: 446 Member
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    I normally add people if I see something they have said on the message boards that I like or can relate to, or some people I have added if they have similar start weight/goals to myself. I have yet to refuse a friend request although it is nice to have just a short message with it saying why they have added you! I will delete people who have not logged in over for a month.
  • taso42
    taso42 Posts: 8,980 Member
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    There is a written test and a physical challenge.
  • courtneymal17
    courtneymal17 Posts: 672 Member
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    honestly, I accept everyone, but very rarely request people...I'm shy/fear rejection lol.
  • Evelyn_Gorfram
    Evelyn_Gorfram Posts: 706 Member
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    .... for some unknown reason, I have a fair amount of young ladies who have requested to be friends with me.... maybe I remind them of their grandfather, LOL....

    You remind me of my friend...
    ...Would you be my grandfather? :wink:
    ..... ( OK, I am only 49, but still ).
    I'm also 49. But 49 is still young, right? ...Right? ...RIGHT??? :huh:
  • tinacc1
    tinacc1 Posts: 57 Member
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    There is a written test and a physical challenge.

    BAHAHAHAHA!!!!

    I think that's my thing...Humour!

    I can't manage a lot of friends, but I've only been here a month and a half.
    I love MFP, it's great entertainment as well as support, and I love being able
    to track everything I eat!
  • Florawanda
    Florawanda Posts: 283 Member
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    I do now ask for a message, but sometimes get requests without any explanation, so I then send a note asking for a message about how they came across me and why they want to be friends. I haven't turned anyone down, even though it does say on my profile that I'm about at my limit. It's all about support given and received, and I just don't have time to give support to many more than I have at the moment, but some seem to be dropping out of MFP at the moment. I also find that some of my friends are not eating sensibly (if their diaries are open), so I have given up commenting on their diaries - at the end of the day it is their choice. But I will still comment on their exercising and logging.
    I have also met friends through the groups - people in UK, people in my age group, people with the same sort of weight to lose, as I can learn so much from them.
    And I do feel some of them are becoming real friends!
  • KMSForLife
    KMSForLife Posts: 605
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    I don't typically request friends but if someone requests to be my friend, then I will gladly accept message or no message. However, they have to be supportive. If I never hear anything from them, then I will usually remove them from my friends list. I want to be friends with people that want to talk, listen, and share.
  • pinuplove
    pinuplove Posts: 12,874 Member
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    Thus far I have accepted all friend requests. That may change in the future if it becomes too much to keep up with. I gravitate toward topics that I'm interested in (shout out to all my geek friends!) but I don't limit myself to friends that are only similar size/age/fitness level, etc, because I think we can all benefit from a different perspective :smile:

    Probably 3/4 of my friends requested me. The others are people I had seen around for a while and felt some sense of commonality with. I have deleted 2 people - one who was obviously only here to see what he could get away with, and one for (unfortunately) looking for support for her eating disorder after a nice, well-intentioned note of concern was ignored.
  • sparkdad
    sparkdad Posts: 5
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    I have been tracking my food and excercise for almost 90 days here and have lost 25 lbs and 3.5 inches on my waist. I only friend real life friends. I have had lost of people try to friend me that look like they are using it as a dating site. I think you should use it however you choose, but in my opinion it is a tool.

    Weight Loss Secrets ( don't tell anyone, it is worth millions )

    Eat Less + Move More = Weight Loss

    Change your lifestyle = weight loss

    Slow Loss is the best
  • shedoos
    shedoos Posts: 446 Member
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    but very rarely request people...I'm shy/fear rejection lol.

    ^^this

    The people to whom I have sent requests was because of either something I saw that was similar to myself (goals, sense of humor, location, etc), or something I respected/admired (for example, those that have a lot of fitness knowledge).

    I also prefer to keep the group small because I try to interact with everyone on my list at least every few days. So yea- if you don't log in for a month (and no reason why) I'm deleting you. I need to feel some sort of connection with my friends.

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